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Self-Esteem – Do I have Enough?

Article Written By Ellen Rich

 

“Build your self-esteem by recalling all the ways you have succeeded, and your brain will be filled with images of you making your achievements happen again and again. Give yourself permission to toot your own horn, and don’t wait for anyone to praise you.”
~ Jack Canfield

 

Imagine you are on a beautiful paradise beach, lying in a hammock by the ocean, all alone.  You hear a soft voice behind you and turn to see that no one is there.  Listening more closely, the voice asks, “Since we are all alone, would you honestly say that you like and love yourself?”  And you answer either yes, no or maybe.

We are all human and have made mistakes throughout our lives.  These mistakes could be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. Whichever they have been, they are over.  The question is, do they come back to haunt you now, in the present, and influence your self-esteem?  As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Let’s take a look at four parts of your “self” that form the person you are today, determine if your self-esteem is coming from your skin and everything that surrounds your organs.  Not all bodies are the same, but if conscious, then you are part of the human species.

When you pass a mirror or see your reflection do you look at your body and judge yourself?  What about if you are naked?  Are you constantly performing makeovers on your appearance? When you look in the mirror, do you see imperfections in your skin and hair and wish you could make them way disappear?  Do you play with your hair color and style, change facial and body imperfections with surgery, lose or gain weight?

There are so many ways we can impact our physical body.  There are no right or wrong answers here, accept to determine if you are happy and satisfied.  If not, you can put a program in place to change what you don’t like. Changing your physical self can always be done, even if the root of some challenges is coming from the past. You can you renew yourself at any time.

Mental Self

The mental self is made up of many processes of your brain and your thoughts.  We all have thoughts, even the masters meditating in the caves in India or at an ashram.  Part of the human brain uses thoughts as a survival skill.  The thought isn’t the problem; it is the reaction to the thought that can cause us pain.

Many people get thoughts and emotions confused.  Thoughts cause an emotional reaction.  No thought — no reaction.  And even more profound is realizing that any thought is just a thought, no truer than the next.  This may sound strange, but thoughts are like our skin; they protect us and allow for suffering.  If the skin is cut, it may bleed and hurt.

If your mental makeup is causing you challenges, you can change it by getting help, finding support, going back to school, undergoing therapy, exercising and discovering other activities which can help you focus on how your mental processes are operating and why. Once you understand this, then you can begin the change process.

Emotional Self

Our emotional self is created by our thoughts and those of others whom we may or may not choose to believe.  The issue is not the specific thought. It is only if you get “hooked” by that thought and start to focus on it that an emotional reaction is formed. The more the thought is focused on, the harder it is to pull away from it and seek solutions.

We all have emotions that are typically deemed good (joy, happiness, ecstasy, love) and bad (evil, self-centered, rage, and anger) and so forth.  However, if you look deep into this process, it really isn’t the emotion that is important, but the believing it and immediately reacting without considering the context that is key. For example, is someone a freedom fighter or a terrorist?  It depends on the person’s perception of the world and his or her context.

Our childhood, parents, schooling and society have caused much emotional pain.  We suffer because we believe that these emotions are the only real reactions we can have.  It is no one’s fault that you had an uncomfortable experience (sometime) in the past, but that time is over.  By realizing that emotions can be changed and by living in the present, you can create a new emotional self.

Spiritual Self

Some of us were brought up in religious households and others with no religious or spiritual teachings and values at all.  Wikipedia states than there about 4,200 different religions in the world today.  I believe that each person on earth has his or her own religion.  That would take the number up to 7.5 billion per Wikipedia for 2017.

Some of us are very fundamentalist in our thought processes and take teachings at their word. Others are open to taking parts from many spiritual practices or even creating their own.

You can find your spiritual self in your heart.  You feel it and can’t use the mental, emotional or physical selves to help you out.  If you find yourself unhappy with your spiritual practice or are overwhelmed by it, you can change it by feeling your way into your heart.  This is a nonverbal process and only you will know how you feel.

So now what?

Self-esteem, no matter how you rate your own, is the basis to accepting yourself as you are and not how others define you. Even with your mistakes, flaws and differences, only you can determine if you are happy with yourself.  If you are not happy develop a plan for change.

There are many ways to change and only you will know which one (s) to pursue.  Here is a short list to get you started.

  1. Start a journal on each “self” and identify how you feel about each one.
  2. Seek out a therapist or Life Coach to help structure a program.
  3. Talk to someone with whom you feel comfortable.
  4. Search the internet for pertinent topics.
  5. Read some books recommended by people you admire.
  6. Go on retreat alone or with others.
  7. Take some time off to consider your life.
  8. Listen to talks on YouTube (especially Ted Talks).
  9. Brainstorm changes you could make.

And most importantly, have patience and be gentle and loving with yourself.

With much love

Ellen xx



After working in the corporate world for 30+ years, Ellen started a Holistic Life Coaching program.  Called act2.expert (www.act2.expert), it is a Holistic Life Coaching Program that allows the client drive the process in a safe and comfortable environment.  Ellen has a BA, MBA, many certificates and has attended Wisdom of the Whole Coaching Academy.

How to Say Goodbye to Disempowering Words

It is time to part with those words that have disempowered you for your entire life; the words that people conform to themselves on a daily basis which stop them moving forward or ever becoming what they dream and desire to be.

The words I am talking about are:

• I can’t
• I wish
• I hope
• I don’t know how
• It’s not possible
• I could never do that
• If only
• I should really be doing this
• If only I knew how
• I should have
• Yes but
• Maybe one day
• I’m sorry, I can’t

These words will continue to keep you stuck in the position you are in and will never help you move forward with your life. The longer you continue to say these words out loud, you are confirming to yourself that you are choosing not to find a way around whatever obstacle is impeding your path in life.
The language you use can empower you so that you are in control, OR it can have the opposite effect and disempower you, which is then assigning you the role of a victim.

The words that you habitually use affect how you communicate with yourself and how you experience your life. By simply changing the words you use, you can completely change the course of your life and the decisions you make.
The words you use carry energy and have the power to influence what happens in your life and work. Many of these words were programmed into you as a child along with the belief systems they support. Simply being aware of our words and shifting our language can lead to higher energy and success in your life.

Empowering Words:

Let’s look at the words that will empower you and change the way you do things in the future. The words you can now choose to use are empowering and you are making positive statements with these words every time you speak them out loud.

Your words can now be replaced with:

• I will do this
• I am going to
• I choose not to
• I want to
• I am
• I feel
• I intend to
• My goal is
• Yes
• No
• I want to know more
• I will make this happen

I am sure you can see the major difference in these words compared to the disempowering words. Look at the power these words hold. Just think of what you can achieve each day by switching your words to empowering ones. All you have to do becomes aware of the disempowering words you are using and switch to using the empowering words listed above. It is that simple.

Now let’s look at changing how you express yourself to others when they ask you how you are. When people say, “how are you today?” we often reply with, “I’m all right, thanks,” or, “I’m okay.” These words are also disempowering you! Let’s change these statements to: “I feel great today, thank you,” and “I’m feeling really empowered today.” Do you see the difference?
Now say these statements right now (yes , now!):

I feel empowered today.
I feel awesome today, thank you.
Didn’t that feel so much better when you said that? Instead of the usual disempowering, “I’m okay.”

Really become aware of how you hold yourself when you speak the disempowering words versus when you say the empowering words. You will notice that when you are speaking of the empowering list your head will be up and your back will be straight and you will be feeling ready to take on the day! But when you read from the disempowering words list… where are you looking? And how is your body reacting to this? Your body is hunched over and your eyes are on the floor. Can you see how much of an energy drain these words are? The best part of this is that you have control over this and you can change the way you hold yourself in a crowd just by changing your vocabulary.

All you are doing is replacing old habits with new ones and reaping the rewards for doing so. Yes, even the words we say and the body language we use with these words are habits, just like the rest of the habits you have been changing in this program. This is no different!

Isn’t it a truly amazing feeling to be aware of the control you can have over YOUR OWN LIFE?

Have a wonderful rest of your week!

Much Love

Kate xx

Five Keys to Avoid Overwhelm By Alyssa Cruise

 

Guest Blog: Written By Alyssa Cruise.

Before I share the five keys, I want to clarify the difference between overwhelm and burnout. Overwhelm is often an in-the-moment feeling and can be triggered by stress. It leaves us feeling as though we can’t handle everything going on around us.

However, unlike overwhelm, burn out happens when we haven’t been listening to the signals our body sends, we become exhausted and before long we’ve reached burnout.

This article focuses upon overwhelm, how to avoid it and how you can kiss overwhelm goodbye for good!

 

  1. Just Say No!

Are you saying no enough?  As someone who is most probably empowered, passionate and creative you have already learnt to say yes to lots of things. In most cases this is a positive practice. Saying yes pushes us out of our comfort zones. It opens amazing new doors of opportunity and growth. However, before you reach burn out check in with yourself and ask yourself; “am I saying yes to too many things?”

You can easily begin to feel overwhelmed when you can’t manage your obligations fully. Or perhaps you’ve taken on too many responsibilities. Now’s the time to take an objective step back and see if there are areas in your life that you could ‘trim back on’ to suit you better. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help, as feeling burdened is one sure way to lead to overwhelm.

2. Start Your Day Right

When we start our day in the right frame of mind we feel more in control of our lives. Have you ever had a day you woke up late for something? Perhaps it left you feeling flustered and agitated and then you noticed how the rest of the day seemed to follow suit. Yes, we are human and those days can happen to us all. But when those days become more than a one off is when overwhelm will become a problem.

Begin your day in the most peaceful and productive way possible. The first thing I do is drink water with fresh lemon and yes, I do this before I check my phone, social media or emails! After waking we need to fuel our bodies. I also read a chapter from a book that inspires and motivates me. This offers me focus and intention for my own purpose that day.

Think about how you can start your day in the most positive and empowered way and come up with morning routines that nourish and nurture you. Maybe stretches, yoga or listening to an uplifting podcast. Having a morning ritual such as these, makes it very hard for overwhelm to find you and try to bring you down.

 

2. Don’t Hop Around

See if you recognise yourself in any of these statements.

  • I structure my workdays
  • I move methodically from one project to the next, with space between each
  • I finish one task and then move immediately to another
  • I have many tasks on the go at any one time
  • I’m restless and constantly checking social media, emails etc., while planning my day

When we create a schedule we’re less likely to face overwhelm. If we give ourselves set time between each task to reboot and reset, we’ll feel less stressed and better able to cope with the demands of our job. Unlike ‘hopping’ around with no organised plan, which can easily lead to overwhelm.

 

3. Tidy Up Time!

I remember as a young child in school we had ‘tidy up time’. This was a set amount of time for the end of the day where we would get our coats, bags, lunchbox and pens packed and ready to be taken home. Now as an adult I still remind myself to participate in this tidy up time, in a new, structured and practical way.

So, how can you implement this same philosophy into your busy day? It’s simple, take time before your day has finished to catch up on any loose ends. After all, when you get home to spend time with those you love, they should have your undivided attention. But, that’s difficult to do if you’re thinking about that last email you should have sent, or the phone call you forgot to make.

By scheduling in 30 minutes before the end of each day, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to review, evaluate and complete those tasks that just can’t wait. You’re taking control of a much better work/life balance and creating harmony between the two.

 

4. Be the Captain of Your Own Attitude

Are you ready to be the captain of your attitudes and improve the way you approach life?

Overwhelm, simply put, is when we feel we have lost control of the moment that we are in. It can leave us feeling; flustered, confused and stressed. But, what if we approached every moment from a conscious place of confidence, high energy and trust?

When unforeseen circumstances arise are you going to be the person who yells out, ‘I don’t know what to do!’ or are you going to be the person who calmly says to yourself, ‘I don’t have a plan right this second, but I know all things can be figured out and resolved’.

The decision is yours. If you make a conscious choice in every moment to stand in your own personal power, you are the calm within the storm. Decide to be the voice of reason when everyone else is in chaos.

 

Leave Overwhelm Behind for Good

Implement these strategies and;

  • learn what to say no to
  • start your day right
  • enjoy a better work/life balance
  • prioritise tasks
  • be in control your own thoughts and
  • you will very rarely feel overwhelmed again

We cannot see what the future holds, or what awaits us. But, we can breathe deeply and make a promise to ourselves that we will learn to handle everything we’re faced with. Whatever we have on our plate we can deal with….one step at a time.

Thank you so much for reading! I will see you in the next issue of The Missing Piece Magazine.

Much Love

Alyssa xx

Coach, Writer, Spiritual Life Hacks at alyssacruise.com

 

 

Fame chasing will cost you everything!

“The worse thing about success? Is a little bit”
~Dani Johnson

 

When I first heard that said to me I was like huh? What does that mean? “The worse thing about success? Is a little bit” what??? What could that possibly mean???. Now 6 years later I totally get it! And it’s so true.

The worse thing about success? Is a little bit, to some people anyway. Suddenly they turn into somebody who leaves their humility behind, appreciation of who got them there in the first place and end up broke. I don’t just mean cash broke, I mean health, spiritually and emotionally broke too.

If you think chasing success will get you anywhere think again, it won’t. I know, I use to be one of them, people! I had a lot more to learn and a lot more to experience before my feet finally stayed grounded. Plus, I had to stop acting like a spoilt brat and live by the rules of what was placed on this planet 4,000 years ago by its creator before I could finally see where I had been going wrong for so long.

Fame chasers leave behind all appreciation for others, feel like their better than others and run away from responsibilities and completely forget that they are just a normal human being like the rest of us. The only way to get outrageous success in the marketplace is if you do things right! If you are hard working, respectful, loving, caring and appreciative. Which all comes into the stewardship principles.

If you have never heard of the stewardship principles and you run a business or a company, then now maybe is the time to get to know them. Maybe this blog is what you just need to fetch your attention to them so that you yourself do not end up burnt out, fed up and chasing a dream that seems to move further away from you at every corner you turn.

The stewardship principles have been around for 4,000 years, are simple, powerful and strict spiritual principles that gain results if you use them and MEAN them. They will not work with a divided heart and MUST come from a place of 100% meaning and not because you think you need to do them in order to get what you want.

I will take you through 3 of the stewardship principles in this blog post, but I would consider checking them all out and really learning them and adding them to your business and life to gain results you never thought possible.

1) Faithfulness:
Proverbs 13:15 “The way of the unfaithful is hard”
You being 100% honest and teaching, serving or providing service from complete integrity will keep you transparent in everything you do and have people loving you for it. If customers and followers know they can come to you for a complete honest service, they will keep coming back to you.

Lie, cheat and steal and it will all come tumbling down on your head. If you just cheat people out of money to line your own pockets, then the success will only last for so long, then you will be hit with a massive dry season that could lead to you not earning for quite some time. Suddenly you will go from having a stash of cash to zero almost overnight and be left wondering how the heck that happened? .. Integrity and honesty walks hand in hand to your success and constant flow of customers to your service.

Money- Something that a heck of a lot of people on this planet is not faithful with. Are you paying your bills on time? Or are you making excuses and wasting your cash elsewhere? Are you donating 10% of what you earn every time you are paid? Are you ignore them bills and buying unimportant items you don’t need instead? … It all leads back to “The way of the unfaithful is hard”.

2) Ungratefulness:
This is one you need to peel back your eyes and read to take in the information and not miss it! We can all consider ourselves appreciative of everything, especially if you are on the journey of self-discovery and you have come across The Law of Attraction on your travels and that the main aim of The Law of Attraction is you are a magnet and attracting every thought, emotion and feeling that you are. Only, that’s a pin head of the reality of it all and when we think we are really appreciative of everything, the reality is we are far from it.

When things don’t show up we get frustrated, chuck a wobbler and take to social media to moan, bitch and complain how bad something is like a complete spoilt brat. We constantly look outside ourselves and forget to prosper where we are planted, because, in order for something better to be rewarded to us, we have to go back to principle 1. which is learning faithfulness with the small things so that we can be rewarded with bigger things! No Law of Attraction class teaches you that!

3) Coveting:
Romans: 13:9: “You shall not covet”.
This principle focuses on thought. It is an imperative against setting one’s desire on things that are forbidden. You desire the success, wealth, beautiful homes and wads of cash that you see flaunted in front of your face every day with 1,001 adverts in your social media feed promising you 6 figures in 6 weeks and it’s feeding your greed. It’s feeding it so bad you chase it and forget to be “faithful” to the life you have now. You forget to love what you have now. Want to know why success is running from you and other’s seem to get it fast? It’s because they are more truly faithful with what they had, and as a result, they were rewarded with far better.

“Gotta do better, gotta drive faster, gotta have more, I must be the best and beat everyone else out there. I must have 6 figures, I must have a big house and I must have a big car, because only THEN will I feel like I have made it.”

WRONG!!!!! There are stronger forces and divine powers way above your head, and right now you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be because how you are showing up is dictating how much “they”, or, “he” (whichever your spiritual preference) trusts you with. So if you have not got the life you want right now, then maybe you need to take a step back and love what you already have and be completely faithful to it.

This is just 3 of many powerful stewardship principles there is to learn. I hope by sharing these 3 powerful ones with you today it really starts your week with an eye-opening start to doing things differently. Maybe taking the time to learn the rest of this principles and adding them to your own journey could save a whole lot of costly mistakes in the future.

If this blog helped you today, please feel free to share it. It could just help  somebody else today.

With much love

Kate xx

Sometimes That Slap in The Face is What We Need!

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances,

the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.
~John Rohn
(America’s foremost business philosopher)

As well as using gratitude to require what it is we want in life. We do also have to perform different beliefs to work in harmony with the law of reaping and sowing; one of these many beliefs is taking full responsibility for your own life.

It’s Time to Quit the Excuses!

How many times have these ‘road blocks’ fought their way into your head?

“Success is great for someone else, but it’s just not for me…”

“Finding success is simply too hard for me…”

“I’m swamped as it is and don’t have any extra time…”

“I can’t afford to invest in myself right now; I have bills to pay…”

“The way things are isn’t so bad – I don’t have to have a vacation”

“It’s always been this way, it always will be…”

“No one in my family is successful; it’s just not in my genes…”

“I tried that before and it didn’t work…” “I’m not smart or talented like those successful people…”

“My situation is different; it won’t work…”

The old adage “Who you spend time with is who you become” isn’t just isn’t just a phrase, it’s a reality, and these “Insiders” are who you want to spend your time with as you’re travelling companions!

Excuses are well-planned lies!

  • Don’t be one of the 98% that blames outside circumstances on everything
     98% of the population do nothing but complain & make excuses
     98% of the population don’t realise life is a CHOICE
     98% of the population reject the TRUTH
     98% don’t realise you create or allow things to happen

To start the journey to a new way of life you have to take FULL responsibility for your life.

From this day forward you have to stop making excuses, blaming and complaining. To begin with, this will not be easy to accept and may feel like quite a slap in the face. Believe me, I know only too well myself, and what a huge step it is to overcome. BUT once you do it, then it will change your life forever.
We spend most of our lifetime complaining and finding excuses and blaming outside ourselves rather than realising it’s our response that predicts the outcomes of our situations, to begin with. You have to give up making excuses. For instance blaming the weather, blaming your partner, blaming the traffic that made you late for work, blaming the economy that you’re skint and then blaming everyone else for the overall quality of YOUR life.

The quality of the life you are experiencing is a result of how you are responding to the events that happen in your life;

Your Situation + Your Reaction = Your Outcome

You will notice that I have written YOUR SITUATION plus YOUR REACTION equals YOUR OUTCOME. This formula means that the situation you are in and the reaction that you have to your situation will equal your outcome.
So what people usually do is when they don’t get the outcome they want in life. You will find that they blame the event on outside circumstances. There is nothing you can do about external events. The world is just how the world is, but what YOU can do is change your reaction to a situation which will change the outcome.
If you are in a situation where somebody or something is annoying you then you should address that situation. Rather than complaining in a different area of your life about this problem. More than often you will find that people will go to work and complain about their partners, and then come home in the evenings and complain about their work colleagues and boss.
What is getting solved by doing this?…………….NOTHING!
Rather than talking about the situation with the person where the problem lies, we choose not to do so, and this then leads us to complain rather than get something done about the problem. Just by changing our reaction to the situation would equal a totally different outcome for you.
We could change the situations at work by telling our employers where we are not happy and the same at home with your partner. We can change our relationships by communicating with our people better, and just by letting them know how we feel.
Just remember you’re complaining….BUT you are the one that is allowing it to happen!
Changing our reactions to situations can completely change our lives. I know this from experiencing domestic violence, by me changing my reaction to the situation (ending the relationship) resulted in my escape from the abusive relationship.
This formula also needs to be used in reactions. When peoples say things to us we tend to show are emotions by reacting before thinking. Please remember this very important rule.
It’s not what people say to you it’s how you react once they have said it. If you learn to be a whole lot calmer and learn not to lose your temper. Then you will start to think before you speak and with doing this you will also receive a different outcome of your situation.

For Example:
Q. If Jenny responded angrily to a comment. Who would be the one left hurt?
A. Jenny would

Q. If Jenny had responded calmly and answered in a calm fashion. Who would be left calm and unhurt?

A. Jenny would
So you see two totally different outcomes by Jenny changing her response. The first response would have caused Jenny’s self-esteem to become lower and left her feelings hurt. Whereas the second response would have increased her self-esteem and made her feel more confident. One out of three people has high self-esteem and the other two people suffer low self-esteem. The two people with low self-esteem will react in an angry fashion to events in their lives. Whereas people with high self-esteem, react a lot calmer and most likely answer with a very educated answer. When you have low self-esteem it stops you producing the results to become more successful.
To heighten your self-esteem you need to push past that feeling of fear that you have. We all have had that feeling of fear when we are not daring to do something because we are scared of rejection and scared of what will be said to us by others. If you push past this fear and do it anyway you will begin to realise that your self-esteem starts to increase on a whole new level.

  • This small exercise is designed for you to accept more responsibility in your life, just by asking yourself some simple questions.In the following main areas of your life, how will you take more responsibility?
    How will you take more responsibility for your health?
    How will you take more responsibility in your relationships?

I hope this little exercise helps you forward on your journey to your big goals!

With love & understanding

2016-05-23 15.00.26-2

Kate xx

Get Over Yourself!

One of the biggest and hardest things you have to accept on the road to success is TRUTH! Sometimes it can be hard to swallow and yet if we don’t accept it we can continue to place roadblocks in our own way. Facing the truth can be scary and the ego will do anything in it’s power to keep you stuck. So how do we learn to get over it? How do we move forward? Find out today on 15 Minutes of Motivation! Speak to you soon.

How Do I Start With Zero Money!

On today’s 15 Minutes of Motivation I will be answering one of my listeners questions today. “How do you start a business online from zero?” I will be sharing exactly how I built my business up online from zero. I had zero list and still managed to earn up to $3,000 a day, but how? Listen in to today’s show and I will share a few handy tips with you!