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7 Questions to Ask About Your Relationship

#Metoo

I am sure by now you have had many hashtags fill your news feed for the #Metoo campaign to highlight how many people have actually experienced sexual assault and rape.

The numbers are shocking! Every other post on my Facebook highlights the #Metoo hashtag and it’s seriously disturbing to think that men and women all over the world have experienced this and that so many offenders thought it was “ok” to treat a person like that.

Abuse of authority or downright abuse, whichever the influence it comes from, is completely WRONG! We need to be educating children, teenagers, adults and old people that these things are not right and that every individual should be respected.

Over the next 7 days, I am going to focus on relationships and ask you one question every day to help you come to a conclusion of your own and to help highlight what really SHOULD be experienced in a relationship and what shouldn’t. i will also be leaving a little exercise for you to do to help become more aware of how relationships should be respected, and how you as a human being should receive the respect you deserve.

Q1, Is your boy/girlfriend making you feel good about yourself?

Everybody in every relationship should be made to feel good about themselves. If this is not the case within your own relationship, then you need to tell your partner how you are feeling. It may be that you just lack communication within your relationship and they have no idea where they are going wrong. However if you have told them and you are completely fed up of expressing this, then your partner is not taking your feelings into consideration and it’s likely they never will.
Not every person possesses the same levels of caring, sharing, love and respect as each other. This is not due to something you have done (which I know a lot of you think the blame lies within yourself and you blame yourself… constantly!).

9 times out of 10 the reason for less positive attitudes of partners is other factors. One example is the way they were raised by their parents or the influences and habits from friends and others around them. Different people have certain levels of love inside of them, and over time, we realise they are not capable of loving at the deeper level that we are. So this is where the relationship tends to break down.

Talk to your partner, and if your partner is willing to take your feedback on board and is willing to work at putting your relationship back online then at least you know your partner genuinely cares about how you feel.

Try this little exercise below which will give each of you the chance to see what the other truly thinks of each other’s good and bad points.

Exercise one;
Take a piece of A4 paper each. Draw a line down the centre of the page to make two parts to the page. Give one side of the page the title negatives and the other side of the page the title positives. Making sure you both have separate sheets of paper. Now write down on the positive side what it is you think is positive about your partner and the same with the negative side.

When each of you has finished, swap over the sheets of paper with your partner. This may be hard to swallow at first due to some negative things we never really knew about our self and have never had these things brought to our attention till now. Taking feedback on board from others and listening to what they have to say will strengthen our character and let us know where we can improve.

Stay tuned for 6 more questions and 6 more exercises,

Much Love,

Kate xx


For more information on Kate Batten click here

Five Steps To Increase Self-Esteem – By Alyssa Cruise

Article Written By Alyssa Cruise

 

When we think of self-esteem, we often see it as something that we have or do not have, rather than a way of being. We hear about having high self-esteem or low self-esteem as if there is a sliding scale of esteem that we must compare ourselves too.

In truth, self-esteem is a verb which means; the process of esteeming one’s self.

In other words, the process of boosting our self –esteem begins with us seeing the value within ourselves.

With this in mind, below are five tips to boost our self-esteem to promote a happier and healthier view of ourselves.

 

  1. Believe In Yourself

One of the first steps we must take to boost our own self-esteem is to change the way we think and feel about ourselves. This is a process that does not always happen overnight, and for the majority of the population is an ongoing journey throughout most of our lives.

When we begin to take responsibility for the way we feel, we empower ourselves. We take charge of our own self-concept which includes; our self worth, beliefs about ourselves, our talents, abilities, potential and value.

  1. Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes

The more we celebrate our past wins in life, the more belief and confidence we build within our abilities.  Sometimes people struggle to think of their successes, and therefore give up on this exercise. However, there is a way for us to contemplate our wins in a very logical and objective structure, which can help us to see how much we have all grown on our life’s journey.

How To Identify Our Successes.

Step one is to split your life into sections. This will vary depending on each of our ages, but for example, 0-15, 16-30, 30-45.

Step two, you will now choose two successes you experienced within each of these time frames.

Step three, once you have discovered six life successes go back, and continue this same pattern. You may find that before too long you have identified very long list of successes, which you can then celebrate, with great belief in yourself.

After this exercise is complete, moving forwards, we can make a weekly or even daily list of our achievements. This will allow us to see our own progression from week to week, and will ultimately increase of self-belief and self-esteem.

  1. Make Integrity a Priority

One of the best ways we can boost our own self-esteem, is to make integrity a priority. Every agreement we make with others’, we also make with ourselves. When we stick to our word, we honour our integrity. If we don’t follow through on our word, we can ultimately lose faith and even trust within ourselves. This lack of trust within causes our self-esteem to plummet. By keeping our commitments and honouring our integrity we increase our self-esteem and sense of personal power.

  1. Take Some Risks

The higher our self-esteem is, the more likely we are to take successful risks. This is not about risk taking in a ‘negative’ sense, but rather risks that lead us greater success and even happiness. When we lack belief in ourselves, we can also lack gumption and drive. This can lead us to feeling deflated and unsure of ourselves. Taking risks, however small they may seem to begin with, can really help us to develop a deep sense of self-esteem.

  1. Demonstrate Your Talents

When our self-esteem is low, we often turn to thinking negatively about ourselves and our abilities. It is important within these times that we go within and remind ourselves of the things we are truly good at, and the things we do enjoy.

For example, if you are good at sport join a local team. If you are good at painting, showcase your work. If you are good at singing, post a video online or make a professional recording for yourself, friends or family.

When we engage in the things that we do well at, we are able to grow and flourish our self-esteem in tremendous ways.

Tips breakdown;

  • Believe In Yourself
  • Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes
  • Make Integrity A Priority
  • Take Some Risks
  • Demonstrate Your Talents

Much Love,

Alyssa x


 

Let Your Light Shine!

Article Written By Wendy Hutchinson

 

Our beliefs shape every aspect of our lives. They drive who we associate with, what types of jobs we pursue, the level of education we receive and the stories we tell ourselves (mostly untrue) about who we are and where we belong in our social paradigm.   Our beliefs determine whether we kneel and pray five times a day, or walk into Church on certain days of the week, they create joy or sorrow. Our core beliefs are often formed by people other than ourselves.  Our family plays a huge role in shaping our story, as they are the people we spend most of our lives with.   Despite what you believe, let me say that you are loved.   You are worthy of love. You have all the tools, the intellect and the strength to transcend your current circumstances.   Why are you allowing the opinions of the few to determine your value and worth?  Much of what we are taught to believe about ourselves is only a reflection and projection of the people around us.  We carry these beliefs well into adulthood leaving many of us feeling like we can’t possibly rise from the ashes.   It is this slow erosion of the self that leaves us feeling vulnerable and wounded.

Our core beliefs shape the very essence of who we are. In our darkest moments, we believe we can never be whole.  There are times when we feel completely broken.  How many dreams have been crushed based on our story about our worthiness? The truth, the beauty of who we are at a soul level is completely shattered by ideas we have been spoon fed our entire life by the people around us, a reflection of the fears and insecurities of our spouse, our friends, and family.  Their opinions have been internalized by us dimming our beautiful light. This isn’t who you really are.  How did you manage to stray so far from your authentic self and how do you return?

The time is now to step away from beliefs and stories that no longer serve you.  Your soul is waiting for you to reclaim her, but it requires taking a leap of faith.  Finding your way back to your beautiful self comes through reflection and intention.   It requires stepping away from old programming. You are not your thoughts.  Those are merely constructs of the mind that hold no power until you attach emotion to them. Thoughts can be dismissed and released when you recognize you can choose whether to give them power or not.  We carry our suffering like heavy weights and chains.  It is time to unshackle ourselves and drop all those burdens into the river and watch them wash away.  Lighten your load.  We are the architects of our lives. Over the course of time, we’ve allowed bad relationships, a lack of self-esteem, and the repeated message that we aren’t enough to dull our shine.  You hold a power far greater than you realize.   Once you master your mind, you set yourself free to be the sovereign being you were born to be.   Slight shifts in the way you think about and relate to yourself will place your life on a completely different trajectory.   Positive mantras and affirmations create small cracks in the armor where the light can shine through.  There is a beautiful part of you that deserves to be seen, denying it, deprives everyone you meet of your gifts and talents.  It is time to let your light shine!

Affirmations are powerful because they create a new pathway for thinking. You can literally retrain your brain to move in a positive direction by repeating your affirmations every day, journaling about your feelings, or taping those empowering statements to your mirror or on your desk where you can see them as a reminder of who you really are.  Somewhere in the hustle we have lost ourselves and it’s time to find our way back.   The time is now to focus on creating a life full of joy, opportunity, and bliss.  It is time to stop merely existing and begin thriving.  Many people continue playing the victim card, making excuses as to why change is impossible.  Empowerment creates a different energy.  When you take control of your life, it creates change by allowing you to think, do, and be something different.  Release the fear about the outcome.  Remaining in the exact same place mentally, running the same disempowered tape in your mind will continue to result in the same exact outcome. Nothing will change until you decide to rewrite the story and create new core beliefs based on truth.

Rather than remain stuck in the same thought patterns, shift the paradigm. Recognize the difference between truth and fear.  If fear has you running scared and settling for less than you deserve, it’s time to begin putting the shattered pieces of your life back together.  Find something that makes you happy and do it.  Take a class, take a walk, pick up a paintbrush.  The only person who knows the right path to follow is you!  Trust yourself.  Listen to your heart.  It has been trying desperately to get your attention.   Slowly, you will begin creating the foundation for a new life.  Take one small step at a time to come more fully into alignment with yourself.  As you find your voice, as you begin to follow your compass, you will become more empowered. As you become empowered, you will begin to ignite forgotten dreams.  As you allow those dreams to take hold and take the next step, you will create momentum.  Sometimes we travel through darkness to shine the light for others.  All is not lost, it is never too late to walk the path back to your magnificent self.

Much Love,

Wendy xx


Wendy Hutchinson

Alinea Life Coaching

www.alinealifecoaching.com

619-246-5948

 

Why Chasing Success Will Kill You!

Aahhhh the sweet smell of success! The constant reminders every two minutes in our Facebook feeds with sponsored ads flashing out their promises of teaching you how to make 6 figures in 6 minutes and having a freedom lifestyle.

Selling to your heart desires and triggering your emotions by using clever marketing tactics, these ads forget to mention the ball breaking hard work and daily application of what it really takes to build strong foundations in a business that will stay standing for generations to come.

They forget to mention the MASSIVE risks you have to take, the responsibility you have to shoulder along the way and how you have to completely transform your personality in order to transform your reality…..Yeah! They kinda forget to mention the REAL hard work part.

So, instead, people fall hook line and sinker into the ads and walk blindly into what’s about to come. They start implementing what is taught to them and it starts to succeed and they have a rush of success and money, and SUDDENLY out of nowhere like a thief in the night, WHAMMMMMMMM!!! … You are hit with huge blows!

Suddenly you have a tonne of responsibility, you have a payroll to your staff to pay, you have so many people looking to you to make MASSIVE decisions every day in order to keep things moving. The anxiety burns up in your chest and throat, you feel like you have to work bigger, faster, quicker, stronger, longer each week.

I mean, after all, you have a reputation and staff to keep right?…… But then suddenly! You start to feel like you are stuck on this God forsaken hamster wheel, what have you created? This isn’t living your passion! This is working stupid hours each week with tonnes of responsibility and people to lead and answer to and you are making less an hour then you worked in corporate???

Nobody mentioned this in the course I signed up for??????…. Nobody mentioned in their shiny Facebook advert that I would be freaking and pulling my hair out by the end of the year! How the f**k am I suppose to handle all this? .. (then your immune system takes a beating) and before you know it you are hit with many illnesses, sometimes one after the other or all at once. What the f**k happen on this journey? Why did nobody warn me about this? Why does it same like one thing after another is against me? …. I JUST DONT GET IT! THIS IS NOT LIVING YOUR PASSION, THIS IS SLOW DEATH TORTURE!!!!!!!

Yes, I hear you! I hear every single question you are asking, why? Because I was that person. I totally experienced the above (and a whole load more) on my journey of building my international publishing company. Within 10 months I was riding my way to 7 figures, had a full team and assistants for my every need and was working with TV personalities, award winning film directors and News readers to help publish and market their books to best seller status. I helped over 350 clients hit the best sellers list in under 3 years and had 18 best selling books of my own under my belt, along with bad health, declining passion and a human body that had turned into a robot that was running a hamster wheel and shouldering masses of responsibility that was wearing me down to zero!

Was I really doing this for others? Or was I feeding my big fat ego to feel like a somebody? To feel important and to be idolized? … Was I really seeing that my business foundations were built on chasing success rather than building a legacy?

I was so BLIND! I was chasing success and it was killing me, far from softly! It was killing me harshly every single day! .. I had NOBODY telling me in every training course I did, in every program I signed up for, in every book I would read, and every session with every coach I had, I had NOBODY teaching me the powerful grounded principles that I would need to learn in order to build strong foundations that will build a legacy of a life time. Nobody shared that with me when they were taking money from my credit card…. NONE!

It’s something I had to learn myself and it came to me one day 2 years ago and hit me like a gigantic piece of wood around the head! SLAM! … There I lay in bed with a bad infection in my lungs and unable to climb the stairs without practically coughing up a lung watching a speaker on a Youtube video, I have no idea why I was drawn to her that day, I just decided to watch this particular video and her words hit me. It was in that moment my eyeballs opened wide and I said OH MY GOSH! I had been doing it WRONG for so LONG!

She repeated the same sentence twice, and each time my hair stood up on end and my goosebumps doubled in size on my arms. This was a massive revelation! I could see for the first time in years what I had been doing wrong. Why I was knackered, ill and completely drained! Why all this stuff was happening to me, and what I had to do to put it so right.

Within 24 hours of watching that video, I made the biggest decision in the world, that was to walk away from the publishing company, let my team go and place myself and my health first. I took 5 months away from the online industry and spent that time just being a mum, wife, grandma and spirituality student. I studied daily and continued to look after myself and my health started to improve along with me gaining my strength back daily.

I woke up one morning to the vision of creating an online digital magazine, I had zero clue how to create it or make it happen and no idea how to design a magazine, let alone have a team to hand to do it. I just knew I had to create the vision that God had planted in my mind… So I did.

The Missing Piece Magazine was born on January 17th, 2017, it has saved people’s lives, help people move forward from even the toughest of situations and it has a team of 31 amazing coaches from all across the world who write and create articles on a monthly basis to help others. We have grown from strength to strength and have over 14,000 followers on social media and subscribers who love our content so much! Because it changes lives!

So what really did peel me back up off that floor when I needed it the most? What did that woman say on that YouTube video to enable me to be the tower of strength?? .. What was it?

Her words were “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.”
~ 1 Peter 5:6

BOOM! There it was! … We can chase success as much as we like, but until HE decides you’re worthy, you will be going around in circles for centuries. Until YOU really start to understand strong spiritual principles and live by them, study them and become them every single day, then you will be STILL going around in circles for centuries.

Now, before you start with the “She is a religious nut job” judgement, I spent my childhood growing up in a pagan household, made a tonne of mistakes in my 20’s and was a drug addict and self-harming by the time I was 25. After I stopped taking drugs at 25 I hit the bottle and depended on alcohol for another 10 years, which lead to 1 domestic violence relationship after another. Until I took my journey to self-discovery and faced all my demons of my past abuse in childhood and adulthood. I thought I knew quite a lot considering how far I had come on my journey of self-discovery and my success, but the truth was I knew SHIT, and I had YET MORE to learn.

The past two years have been truly an amazing growth period and I have learned what it REALLY takes to succeed in business to leave a legacy and what it really takes to equip others with the true principles of building a strong foundation in your life and business… I am living proof!

Next year (2018) myself and my business partner Kim B.Smith will start to teach these principles to people in events all across the globe and hosting a powerful retreat once a year!

I am so excited for what is to come and to finally shine a beacon of light upon all the business owners in the world, who like me once upon a time felt like they were drowning and have zero clues why?

It’s time for this to be taught, it’s time for people to build legacies and love every minute of it!

It’s great to be back from vacation after marrying my awesome partner! And thank you so much for taking time to read reading this!

God Bless, your friend for this journey,

Kate xx

PUT THE BITCH IN THE BOX!

Article Written By Wendy Hutchinson

Ever since I can remember I’ve had this voice in my head telling me what I could and couldn’t do. She cast a shadow on my self-esteem feeding me stories about my weight, my looks, my intelligence, my earning potential and so much more. She held me down forever and every time she whispered in my ear I believed her. Play it safe, stay small, no one wants to hear your opinion, and the worst insult of all, you don’t matter. I called her “The Bitch” and what a bitch she was.   I listened to all her lies and believed in my limited potential.  One day I recognized her for who she was, she was a deceiver and deal breaker and I broke free of her and I said “that’s enough”!   The bitch kept me from becoming everything I dared to dream.  I could run down a list of ways I fell short in my life faster than ice cream melted on a hot summer day.   I had no idea how pervasive that EGO/bitch was until I started to pay attention.

The bitch kept me living small and safe by creating just enough doubt and fear to hold me captive. She was smothering my spirit and my dreams.  And then, something magical happened, I put that bitch in a box and I put a huge black iron padlock on it.   That act of defiance was something so powerful, it surprised even me.  I began piece by piece finding my way back to my authentic self.  I started to feel at a soul level, the truth of who I am.  I saw that I could be fearless and strong.  I saw that I could take risks.  I felt called to help others and got my life coaching certifications and Reiki, then later Marconics Energy certifications.  The bitch would try to come out occasionally and rattle the cage, but I was not having it and back in the box she would go.  I realized that nothing was going to keep me from taking the next step on my journey.  I felt the stirring of something so much bigger than what I had allowed myself to believe possible.  There was only one way to step into my power and it required a major shift in the story I was telling myself.

 

 

This shift happened gradually.  At first, I began noticing how often I was telling myself ways I didn’t measure up.  Then, I had a daring and provocative thought, which was, I am not my thoughts!  I made a radical decision.  I decided it was time that I started honoring and loving myself because if I didn’t, who would?  I asked myself who am I really?  What do I enjoy?  I enjoyed walking the lake with friends, so I began to carve out time for that.  Find one small thing that sparks joy for you then do it without making excuses.  Everyone has one thing that brings them joy, be it cooking, reading, travel, dance, working out, or spending time with friends.  It could be something simple like sleeping in or a great latte on a Saturday morning. That is where I began to find my way back to my soul, the soul that was the essence of me.    Through this process of rediscovering what lit my soul on fire, I began to blossom and the fabric of my life became this rich tapestry of experiences.  I began to explore new places with my husband.  I was reading books that inspired me, excited me, and set me on a spiritual path.  I discovered a love of yoga and being outdoors walking my dog.  I became very intentional about the kind of life I wanted to live.   I created a perfect balance of work and play. I wanted to connect to people who were interested in changing the world by following their passion and just as I put that energy out there, the Universe began to deliver those people through synchronicity and circumstance.  The more I focused on things that brought me joy, the more aligned I felt, attracting experiences, opportunities and people that resonated with me.

As I became more authentic in who I was, I stepped away from the person everyone else wanted me to be. I learned to set boundaries. I learned to put myself first and realized this wasn’t a selfish act as I had been programmed to believe.  It was healthy to honor myself.  Once I respected myself and my time, people fell away or fell in line. At first, I was sad to see the people I cared so deeply about falling away. As I began to step fully onto my path and into my power, I realized it had to happen to make room for the people who were going to come forward and lift me up and hold my hand as I pursued my dreams. The friends who said I’m here for you, I love you, I think you are doing great work were the ones I needed in my life. There is no room in my life for people jaded by their own cowardice and insecurity projecting that doubt and fear onto me.  I am including family members here. Yes, I have stepped so fully into my power, there is no room in my life for negativity, even if you are a relative.  I stopped chasing people down who had no interest or time for me.  The people I want in my life are going to treat me with respect, and love and dignity. I respectfully sidestep and minimize contact with people who continue to create drama and try to suck me in.

I decided not to languish in the mental wasteland of what if scenarios and what will people think bullshit and stopped wasting time in the space of doubt and fear.  I encourage you to step into your power and put your bitch in a box and lock her down, now is the time to let your light shine.

Until next time, much love

Wendy xx


About Wendy Hutchinson:

Alinea Life Coaching

www.alinealifecoaching.com

TEL: 619-246-5948

 

Self-Esteem – Do I have Enough?

Article Written By Ellen Rich

 

“Build your self-esteem by recalling all the ways you have succeeded, and your brain will be filled with images of you making your achievements happen again and again. Give yourself permission to toot your own horn, and don’t wait for anyone to praise you.”
~ Jack Canfield

 

Imagine you are on a beautiful paradise beach, lying in a hammock by the ocean, all alone.  You hear a soft voice behind you and turn to see that no one is there.  Listening more closely, the voice asks, “Since we are all alone, would you honestly say that you like and love yourself?”  And you answer either yes, no or maybe.

We are all human and have made mistakes throughout our lives.  These mistakes could be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. Whichever they have been, they are over.  The question is, do they come back to haunt you now, in the present, and influence your self-esteem?  As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Let’s take a look at four parts of your “self” that form the person you are today, determine if your self-esteem is coming from your skin and everything that surrounds your organs.  Not all bodies are the same, but if conscious, then you are part of the human species.

When you pass a mirror or see your reflection do you look at your body and judge yourself?  What about if you are naked?  Are you constantly performing makeovers on your appearance? When you look in the mirror, do you see imperfections in your skin and hair and wish you could make them way disappear?  Do you play with your hair color and style, change facial and body imperfections with surgery, lose or gain weight?

There are so many ways we can impact our physical body.  There are no right or wrong answers here, accept to determine if you are happy and satisfied.  If not, you can put a program in place to change what you don’t like. Changing your physical self can always be done, even if the root of some challenges is coming from the past. You can you renew yourself at any time.

Mental Self

The mental self is made up of many processes of your brain and your thoughts.  We all have thoughts, even the masters meditating in the caves in India or at an ashram.  Part of the human brain uses thoughts as a survival skill.  The thought isn’t the problem; it is the reaction to the thought that can cause us pain.

Many people get thoughts and emotions confused.  Thoughts cause an emotional reaction.  No thought — no reaction.  And even more profound is realizing that any thought is just a thought, no truer than the next.  This may sound strange, but thoughts are like our skin; they protect us and allow for suffering.  If the skin is cut, it may bleed and hurt.

If your mental makeup is causing you challenges, you can change it by getting help, finding support, going back to school, undergoing therapy, exercising and discovering other activities which can help you focus on how your mental processes are operating and why. Once you understand this, then you can begin the change process.

Emotional Self

Our emotional self is created by our thoughts and those of others whom we may or may not choose to believe.  The issue is not the specific thought. It is only if you get “hooked” by that thought and start to focus on it that an emotional reaction is formed. The more the thought is focused on, the harder it is to pull away from it and seek solutions.

We all have emotions that are typically deemed good (joy, happiness, ecstasy, love) and bad (evil, self-centered, rage, and anger) and so forth.  However, if you look deep into this process, it really isn’t the emotion that is important, but the believing it and immediately reacting without considering the context that is key. For example, is someone a freedom fighter or a terrorist?  It depends on the person’s perception of the world and his or her context.

Our childhood, parents, schooling and society have caused much emotional pain.  We suffer because we believe that these emotions are the only real reactions we can have.  It is no one’s fault that you had an uncomfortable experience (sometime) in the past, but that time is over.  By realizing that emotions can be changed and by living in the present, you can create a new emotional self.

Spiritual Self

Some of us were brought up in religious households and others with no religious or spiritual teachings and values at all.  Wikipedia states than there about 4,200 different religions in the world today.  I believe that each person on earth has his or her own religion.  That would take the number up to 7.5 billion per Wikipedia for 2017.

Some of us are very fundamentalist in our thought processes and take teachings at their word. Others are open to taking parts from many spiritual practices or even creating their own.

You can find your spiritual self in your heart.  You feel it and can’t use the mental, emotional or physical selves to help you out.  If you find yourself unhappy with your spiritual practice or are overwhelmed by it, you can change it by feeling your way into your heart.  This is a nonverbal process and only you will know how you feel.

So now what?

Self-esteem, no matter how you rate your own, is the basis to accepting yourself as you are and not how others define you. Even with your mistakes, flaws and differences, only you can determine if you are happy with yourself.  If you are not happy develop a plan for change.

There are many ways to change and only you will know which one (s) to pursue.  Here is a short list to get you started.

  1. Start a journal on each “self” and identify how you feel about each one.
  2. Seek out a therapist or Life Coach to help structure a program.
  3. Talk to someone with whom you feel comfortable.
  4. Search the internet for pertinent topics.
  5. Read some books recommended by people you admire.
  6. Go on retreat alone or with others.
  7. Take some time off to consider your life.
  8. Listen to talks on YouTube (especially Ted Talks).
  9. Brainstorm changes you could make.

And most importantly, have patience and be gentle and loving with yourself.

With much love

Ellen xx



After working in the corporate world for 30+ years, Ellen started a Holistic Life Coaching program.  Called act2.expert (www.act2.expert), it is a Holistic Life Coaching Program that allows the client drive the process in a safe and comfortable environment.  Ellen has a BA, MBA, many certificates and has attended Wisdom of the Whole Coaching Academy.

Are You A Gossip? Here’s Why it’s Bad For You!

It’s Time to Stop the Gossiping and Criticising:

Everyone gossips and the majority of people criticise others. As much as you would love to hear the newest piece of juiciest gossip about the girl across the road, or the PRIVATE message somebody shared with you, that you then screenshot and posted through social media to share with your followers.… it’s time to give it up!

As a coach, it really boils my blood to see this happen on the Facebook day in day out, the fact that one person came to somebody and opened their selves up wide in a PRIVATE message and the coach takes it upon their selves to then screenshot it and share it with their following to criticise and condemn the person who sent it!

Gossipping and criticising are another projection of someone’s low self-esteem and insecurities. If you’re criticising something about that person then it shows you have something that you’re not comfortable within yourself. It places on a show that you need to gain attention by pulling down somebody else. Which is far from living in integrity and completely shooting yourself in the foot as a coach who is clearly displaying their unfaithfulness with the lives that have been placed in your hands.

Nobody should trust a gossip, and nobody would want to work with a gossip in the success field. If all you can do is bitch and criticise then people will avoid you. People will work with you if you are good, honest, caring and do not judge or share PRIVATE content.

You have a private message box so that people can come to you and feel safe in a safe place and trusting you with their words of communication. For you to take that PRIVATE conversation and spread it all across social media is really you planting the seed to your own crappy experience, that will most likely hit you in the face 12 weeks from now. When we condemn somebody, we condemn ourselves 10 x times worse!

Now don’t take this from me! Take this from the natural divine laws that are written and placed into this universe to keep it orderly. I never wrote them, the powers that-be way above my head did. You reap what you sow! In everything you do!

So why do people find the need to gossip? Why do they find the need to plant such rotten seeds for themselves?

The reason why people gossip in groups is because they are petrified that any gossip will be spoken about them. Secretly they cannot help wondering what you are saying about them when they aren’t around. So if they make themselves part of the team of gossipers than they know that the gossip attention is on somebody else rather than their own lives. Could you EVEN imagine opening up your social media one morning and the PRIVATE conversation you had with one coach is then screenshot and posted on their public feed? ESPECIALLY if you are a person who has only JUST started your journey of self-discovery and you have such a MASSIVE journey to start yet?

How would you feel? How would you feel seeing your message, your beliefs and your PRIVATE words being pulled down? Pretty shit right? You would feel like that coach just crapped all over you and your trust would be gone in one second flat. You would left to feel violated and like you could never trust a coach in that niche again. It would leave a very painful mark on anybody’s trust and hurt somebodies feelings.

IT’S HURTFUL!!!

If you are a coach/mentor/teacher and you have been chosen to be faithful with the lives that are presented before you. If you cannot be faithful with them lives and feed your ego with attention grabbing ways that pull somebody down instead, then you deserve the kick in the ass that’s coming your way! Like I said previously, when we condemn somebody, we condemn ourselves 10 x times worse!

Recently I started a top 100 coaches list and will be publishing this in The Missing Piece Magazine as from August 17th, 2017.
On this list is the coaches that I have hand picked myself and have checked out and deserve to be on that list, these coaches will go through many in depth checks per year to see if they truly are living from integrity and how they interact with their followers to enable them to stay on that list.

When you start your self-discovery journey you deserve to be presented with people who CAN be faithful with your PRIVATE words and who don’t display them for their own attention. I know myself I have started clearing up my friend’s list on Facebook because I really don’t want to be associated with those who feel the need to pull others down. It’s down right crap, unfaithful and so far from integrity, it’s unreal.

You deserve the best in life, so keep your standards high!
Check out the 100 coaches list as from August in The Missing Piece Magazine! You deserve the best!

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

Much Love

Kate xx