An article for the Missing Piece by
Trilby Johnson, Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist.
There is so much written on and about love – in books, songs, films, poetry. We humans seem fascinated and captivated by it, with many of us striving to have more of it in our lives. I know for a long-time I felt it was something ‘out there’ that I needed to acquire, earn and deserve as a kind of measure of my own self-worth and purpose. Yet, it seemed to elude me – in my own sense of love and my external relationships – although there was always a tiny flicker of it somewhere deep within me.
I experienced and observed how deprivation of this emotion formed behaviour patterns of frustration and pain. If love is really all we need, then surely more people would want this in their lives and there would be more of it visible in our lives, right? Yet, even from a young age, when I looked around me, I saw more struggle and suffering than I did Love and I knew that this simply wasn’t the whole truth of things. Consequently, I set out to discover and explore this mystery of love for myself, so that it was no longer merely an emotion and rather a state of unconditional being. Here is what I discovered …
♥ ‘L’ is for Letting Go
To uncover the true essence and experience of what love could be, it was necessary to look beyond the current definition of love. In my opinion, love with a capital L is something much larger and more subtle than the socialized version presented today, or the highly dramatize notions of romance put forward today and it goes much deeper than finding one’s soul mate in order to feel complete.
For many, the emotion of love goes beyond words in its intensity. Is this not an invitation in itself to go beyond the common definition of what it is or isn’t? Is this not the invitation of the unconditional, that the essence of this LOVE emotion is calling us to and through?
Have heard the saying, “If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours.” What if this was an invitation to let go of everything you think love is or has been or want it to be and be open to the experience of life itself, rather than the limiting definition of the search for a mate, partner or marriage? Free your mind and the love will follow. Letting go of what love should be and look like, allow you to experience something organically life-changing.
♥ ‘O’ is for Options
Whose definition of love are you adhering and conforming to?
How unconditional in this love and how is it working for you?
I don’t know about you, but for many years of my life I tried to condition my life to fit into other’s version of what love was. A few were uplifting and expansive, whilst many left me feeling unhappy, unloved and unlovable for a long time. I found freedom in the unconditional nature of which may spoke, although I didn’t experience or see much of it around me. So I decided break the mould and love on my own terms. I began to look for different options of what love could be.
The biggest and most impactful option I chose, was to love myself unconditionally. It’s my purpose and a continuous labour of love.
♥ ‘V’ is for Vulnerability
It’s often said in mindset and spiritual circles that there are only two options – love or fear. Is this true? And no there is no right or wrong answer. Only what each of us chooses to believe and experience so that we continue to grow. This requires vulnerability.
To be totally and comfortably uncomfortable with being vulnerable requires acknowledging your ability to respond (responsability) and being frankly honesty with yourself. While it is certainly a delicious blessing to feel loved by another, a true foundation of unconditional love lies within. It means having the courage to experience fear, hurt, loss, sadness as well as the joy, love and companionship of all our relationships. However, for each to reach their full potential unconditionally, there can be no judgement. Judgement is not unconditional and creates duality. This makes being vulnerable challenging as it seems there is always only two choices. Love or fear. Right or Wrong. Good or Bad. Vulnerable or Closed.
Vulnerability is an openness of body, mind and spirit that allows the unconditional to be experienced in all its options and beyond words. It’s the invitation to be open and to let love in and through. It is when we restrict ourselves that we experience hurt as painful.
♥ ‘E’ is for Expansion
In much of what is defined as love today, in my opinion, feels restrictive and I simply choose not to believe in this version. Instead, I feel love is expansive and an invitation to be and explore so much more. Expansion doesn’t necessarily refer to size here, but rather an experience of growth and joy and peace.
The universe is shown to be made up of energy – vibrations of atoms – that come together to create and give form. It is continually expanding into moreness! Could this be love? You decide.
As someone who had felt the lack of love for many years of my life, I see LOVE as an expansive force that is inevitably pushing us all forward. The type of journey we have is up to us. I have come to observe LOVE as one of humanity’s beautiful creations and one that will lead us into the depths and to the heights of who we are and can be. There is no need to find it because we are already in it. Life and others are simple reflecting the depths and nuances back to us on the way.
I am on fire with LOVE for all that is.
Here’s love to you too,
p.s. My book ‘FEARLESSLY ALONE – Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy’ is partly my story of how I found Love with a capital L and how emotions are having an impact on our physical health and why. To have a greater sense of love, self and peace in your life, order your copy online or via your local bookshop now -> http://www.trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com/books
Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She specializes in supporting individuals to resolve their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual trauma and pain and create a new genuine sense of self, health, peace and joy.
She is the founder of her own successful business Trilby Johnson – The Connective and through her work and writing supports her clients in attaining their next level of expertise, with her gentle yet effective methods that she has gained from over 25 years of experience in Behavioural Psychology and the healing arts.
Trilby is a successful Author of two books: ‘Fearlessly Alone: Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy’ and her collection of original quotes ‘A-Ha Moments: Inspirational Quotes To Shift Your Thinking’
She has a degree in Psychology and is certified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Reiki, DNA Activation, Meta-Coaching, Holistic Massage and Advanced Healing Processes. Trilby seeks to continually transform her own life and uses all her tools personally.
Her days are spent following her joys: writing, travelling, guest speaking, reading, star gazing, enjoying her organic garden and country lifestyle.
To get in touch with Trilby go to:
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