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ARE YOU STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF A BRAINSTORM? By Donna Davis

Each day, thousands, if not millions of thoughts, cross our minds. Every waking moment is chock full of ideas, lists, to-dos, regrets, conversations that have happened or that need to take place soon, where to go, what to eat, who to call………whew- and that’s only the tip of the iceberg!

If we took an inventory of our thoughts we would find that we spend way too much time “in our heads” with endless mind chatter and clutter. Most of it is useless because it’s in the past and cannot be changed no matter how often or hard we think about it. Finding solutions now to situations of the past won’t help due to the fact that you can’t go back and change things. Stop repeating history in your head! Our best lesson is to learn from the past and do things differently, if we choose, should the same or similar situation arise. Like it or not folks, it’s “onwards and upwards.” If you want half a chance to be productive in life you need to make peace with the past, make “NOW” awesome, and take action for an even better future!

One major obstacle is the incredible amount of negativity, fear and self-doubt that we have been bombarded with over the years whether it be conscious or subconscious. It’s all around us each and every day from several different directions. It seems virtually impossible to get away from it. We almost absent-mindedly get swept up into it and then find ourselves feeling little, weak and incomplete due to the impossibility of measuring up to unrealistic and unattainable standards or ideas. We are human, not robots.

So where do YOU fit in to all of this? Where do you find your peace, your confidence, your success? Do you leave that up to society and your environment? Do you blindly follow the status quo or do you realize that you deserve so much more?

Photo by David Pentek on Unsplash

Here are some suggestions to take control of your mind and thoughts for your highest and best use:

SHIFT YOUR FOCUS

  • It has been said “Energy flows where focus goes.” What thoughts are occupying your space?
  • So, What Are You THINKING? Is it constructive or destructive?
  • Is what you think “In your own voice?” or is it someone elses view or expectation of you?

BELIEVE

  • Remember the famous quote: “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right!”
  • What is it that you truly believe that you can do or accomplish?
  • Set your sails to that and start in that direction. As with anything you may have to adjust your sails to course correct – it’s okay because it’s all a part of the journey and process of getting you to your destination.

START SMALL

  • Yes, there is plenty to do yet you are 1 person and Rome wasn’t built in a day, remember?
  • How can you break down the whole goal into smaller actionable steps that are comfortable for you?
  • Be patient with yourself and chart out a step by step course in an attainable sequence.
  • Add in checkpoints for your progress and see if you need to reassess, push forward or take a break to build up your strength (of body AND mind) before continuing forward.

 

What Problem has you stuck right now? Can you see it as a situation with a solution rather than a problem? How can you turn your perception and perspective of it around in your best interest rather than be imprisoned by the thought of being stuck in it forever?

Most times we procrastinate and say “I’ll do it tomorrow.” That means tomorrow doesn’t start with a clean slate if things are endlessly added to it as a scapegoat or catch-all for what you did not do/say and things that were cleverly avoided yesterday. There are only so many hours in a day. Avoidance today does not buy you extra time tomorrow- quite the contrary- it steals your tomorrow of peace since the same undone task or topic keeps popping-up.

So, what is your CHOICE, right here and NOW to put things into a better perspective for you and have your thoughts and ideas work FOR you, not against you?  What is the next right step/action that you need to take that will move you in a forward direction?  You are smack dab in the middle of your life. If you take a step back and be completely honest with yourself you WILL know how to organize your thoughts into a productive pace that can set you free from the brain storm going on in your head.

Of course it’s easier said than done only because you’ve been under the conditioning of old habits. Are you ready to use your BRAIN POWER to create new habits of success and happiness?

Are your thoughts holding you hostage or are you in control of the productivity, expansion, and enjoyment of YOUR life?

Think about THAT!

And remember…It’s all in your mind!

 

Thank you for reading,

Donna xx

Stop Saying YES! – Written By Kate Batten

overwhelm, usually a posh word which roughly translated means “I do not know how to say no” syndrome. It is a common thing so don’t worry, we have all gone through life feeling guilty if we say no to somebody. You don’t want to let people down or feel like you are letting them down, so instead, you say yes, yes, yes, all the time!

Only the issue is you keep on saying yes, and before you know it your plate is so stacked high with so much shit to do that you are so stressed out you have zero time for anything else. You then turn into a complete stranger to your close ones because you are never around, and your husband and kids don’t have one clean pair of pants between them!

I have had many many clients over the years who have become so overwhelmed with saying yes far too many times.

Photo by Ivan Obolensky from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/

Then, before they know it they are stressed out, burnt out and don’t even want to carry on building their dream because they feel they don’t have what it takes in the first place.

Trust me, you have every ounce of what it takes to be a success in your life, The key to that success is only focusing on a few things and becoming great at them few things. Only because your friend is doing a webinar, download program and writing a book all at the same time does not mean you have to do the same.

Dividing your focus between 20 different things weakens your results compared to focusing on one or 2 things and mastering them.

Yes, I have been there, experienced that and have the wrinkles to prove it.

The question you need to ask yourself is:

Do you want to be great and successful at a few things that completely sell out all the time and have a thriving business?

Or…

Do you want to be sat there stressed out to high heaven with no time, energy and be broke because your products/services are not selling?

It’s not exactly rocket science now is it?

There is a lot to learn on your road to success. There is a right way to do things and a completely wrong way to do things. I have experienced both ways and trust me I prefer the way things are today in my life and business, then they were 2 years ago!

I stopped saying yes to people and realised that my self-respect to myself was more important and so was my health.

I started to focus on a few things rather then trying to be Jack of all trades and master of none. I started saying the word NO more and meaning it.

I started working less and earning more money, and I started to have more time for myself and my family which resulted in me becoming a better coach and a better business owner.

You are in complete control of your life, and overwhelm is only a reality of you saying yes far too much. It’s time to start saying NO!

Thank you for reading,

Kate x


Kate is an 18 x International Best-Selling Author, International Coach and Creator of The Missing Piece Magazine. As a coach Kate helps authors and professionals grow their platforms by teaching them how to publish, market and sell their books to international best-seller status. Kate has the honour and pleasure of consulting TV personalities and award-winning Hollywood film directors, she has a real passion to teach established business owners how to earn up to $180,000 with one book BEFORE it even goes to print. Kate currently holds the position of Publishing Specialist with the GWEN Network. Find out more at www.katebatten.com

Beliefs – Creating my manifesto Written By Kirsten Wreggitt

Written By  Kirsten Wreggitt

I’d like to think I formed my own beliefs but more often I found I simply adopt the beliefs of my family and culture. It isn’t because I didn’t want to think for myself; it’s because it’s downright hard to hear anything above the noise of the world! We truly can’t even hear ourselves think.

Deep inside I knew that I was battling with the current belief system. I didn’t identify with many things people were pursuing, things they were chasing, or ways they wanted to live. It all just made me tired. I needed to slow things down and turn off the noise so I could think for myself.

You can’t run around with no beliefs. So many of our daily decisions are put through the filter of our belief system. Without clarity on what my heart wanted I was struggling to make decisions. I decided to take a deep dive and the time needed to get clarity on what I held true.

It took a while. I read a lot, I wrote a lot, and I went on many long walks to think a lot. My belief system slowly formed in phrases here and there and I sifted through all of those sound bites and found a single one that summed it all up. In the end my beliefs could be summed up by this: the average life is extraordinary.

That single sentence doesn’t seem like much. In fact you might be asking yourself how it could even be true. I realized that also and I didn’t believe it at first either. After all, that would mean that all the effort I have been putting into achieving my goals and dreams would be wasted, right?

I want more than an average life.

Over time, the more I thought about the ramifications of this sentence the more I saw the truth in it. Most of us are average, and we are expending huge amounts of energy and money to fight against it every day. We are so busy striving, sweating, dieting, reading, studying, primping, and prodding.  So much effort and focus is being placed on how we could be more.

The fight is making me tired. I am not focusing on what I already have. I am not enjoying the present moment and I may just strive my entire life away without ever taking notice! This one little sentence was the core belief I heard when I shut off the noise of our culture. I decided to write the Average is Extraordinary Manifesto: How Your Life Is Anything But Mediocre.

Creating my own manifesto made decision making easier (not to mention getting out of bed each day). Having my beliefs in front of me gives me grounding when the world around me shakes and it is my line in the sand to live my life by my beliefs and not those of the world. I have found my own beliefs from the small voice that is hard to hear under the noise of the world.

Thank you for reading,

Kirsten x


Biography:

“Average lives can be extraordinary.” —Kirsten Wreggitt

Kirsten Wreggitt grew up in a small town but her big heart and curious mind have taken her on a few journeys. Each change shaped her view of the world and she shares that through her writing. She has written her manifesto “Average is Extraordinary: How Your Life is Anything But Mediocre” and a memoir “Before I Let You Go: Stories for My Grown Son” which will be available November 27, 2017. Other pieces of her writing can be found on her blog at www.kirstenwreggitt.com.

She currently lives, writes, and works in Calgary, Alberta.

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Mirror, Mirror – Written By Donna Davis

Written By Donna Davis

Can you do it?  Can you really look at yourself in the mirror? Not a passing glance to check your teeth, your hair or your outfit. I’m talking about looking directly into your eyes.

This may not be an easy feat.  Some might say it’s actually ridiculous.  My question is why? Why is it so odd to take a few minutes, look directly into your own eyes and send yourself some loving, happy thoughts?  Maybe even some gratitude?

With all you do, manage and juggle, why is it that you seem to be last on your list for a good word or a smile – just for YOU?

Why have we become so complacent with the fact that so many others have opinions about and expectations of us that we have very little to no time to show our own selves some kindness?

Is it really so hard to find one good thing to say about yourself to yourself?

When was the last time that you checked in with how you were feeling? REALLY feeling? Not the superficial day-to-day, mundane, autopilot response or routine.

Do you have a minute or two just for you? Is it really all the difficult? Seriously. 60 seconds. You can try almost anything for 60 seconds.

I dare you! I dare you to set a timer, look into your own eyes and say – in an honest, meaningful way, one kind truth about yourself and share a smile with the most important person in your life- YOU!

This may seem strange at first or even uncomfortable.  Instead of questioning why you should be kind to yourself, why not question why you haven’t been? What has gotten in the way?  What has beaten you down?  When did time become such a limited resource and how did YOU get taken out of the equation?  What has you so distracted that is seemingly more important than you?

Have we allowed ourselves to get so caught up in pleasing others or wanting their approval that we have starved ourselves from our own attention and priority?  It has been so easy for dream stealers and bullies to wear us down to the point of our very own self-esteem being on the endangered list.  Most of the time it’s subliminal, cultural and very social.  It’s all over the internet.  Do you measure up?  Are you good enough?  How much multi-tasking can you do? How many hours can you put in?  Can you dress like them or act like her or fit in with all the Jones’ that are left right and center? After a while, this can have you wondering “Which way is up?”

This doesn’t have to be the case. It’s time to reconnect.  Find the you that has always been there.  The you that needs time and attention and love. Learn to be there for you.  Even when not many others are or can be.  We are all trying to fit in, get ahead, do the best we can.  Most times it’s a struggle and takes a lot out of us.  What is left inside?

Take a look.  Look into those tired, weary eyes and somewhere behind all that doubt and fear and pain – is the vulnerable, beautiful you that has been waiting – waiting for you to take notice – to spare a moment or two, a kind word – and a smile.  Nothing extravagant.  Something so simple and meaningful.  Something so special and necessary that it can actually be magical!  It can work wonders to build your

self-esteem back up to somewhere higher than it has ever been, higher than you thought possible.  It’s time to love yourself again- or even for the first time.  You matter.  You are worth it.  You have been waiting.  Waiting for permission, for approval for the very love that you need and have been seeking elsewhere.  Very rarely do we find it so completely and easily from outside of ourselves.  We try over and over again in vain until we finally realize it has been inside us all along.  It’s time to connect with that, to pay attention to that, to smile at that.

It’s not too late. You can be your own best friend, your own best cheerleader, your own best ally.  It’s what the very essence of you needs. Can you be the one to provide it for yourself?

So, can you do it?  Can you really look at yourself in the mirror?  I think you can.  If it’s hard for you to do at first you can use the virtual smile that I’m sending to you right now.  Keep it somewhere safe, perhaps in your heart, and whenever you can’t seem to find one of your own, remember that you have a spare smile that I sent over to you.  Take good care of it, match it with one of your own and then you’ll have two, just in case you have a rough day.   And while I’m thinking about it…here…have a hug.  The next time that you look in the mirror- bring out the smile and the hug and you’ll be sure to have a better day.

Much Love,

Donna Davis,


Donna Davis holds a Master Degree in Educational Leadership, Management and Policy from Seton Hall University and cherishes the journey of life, learning and the pursuit of dark chocolate all over the world.

As an educator, author, speaker, columnist and coach, Donna Davis is a perpetual optimist dedicated to helping women thrive and enjoy all that life has to offer. Donna is a modern day Change Agent disguised as The Menopause Fairy who celebrates the Magic, Mystery and Mayhem of Midlife.

Donna writes a column in The Missing Piece Magazine http://themissingpiecemagazine.com/ every month in which she coaches readers through various topics, activities and exercises related to the chosen theme for the month.  As co-founder of WOmentum BuildHers https://www.facebook.com/WOmentumBuildhers/, Donna helps women to honor and celebrate themselves, find and use their voice and be able to survive all that life brings their way, allowing them to thrive and come alive in a way like never before through community, encouragement and Sisterhood.

This WOmentum BuildHER is taking bold action to educate, celebrate, and collaborate with women in all phases of life around the globe to heal, grow and come alive to “Be the best version of yourself possible!”

 

Love – Written By Doneane Beckcom

Love Written By Doneane Beckcom

 

We all think we know what love is, right? It is one of those “I will know it when I see it/feel it” type of things. It either IS love or it is NOT love. Should be pretty easy to figure out, right?

Wrong. Love is complicated.

Don’t get me wrong here. I knew the minute that I felt love for the first time for my husband. And of course I fell in love with my daughter the instant I knew she was living inside my womb.

I also knew instantly those times when love died in past relationships.

But how do we know that we KNOW that it is love?

Love is a very ethereal emotion. We all feel it differently, express it differently, and experience it differently. The love I have for my daughter is strong and deep, but I know when she gives birth to my first grandchild the love I have for her will change and grow exponentially and the love for that grandchild will probably be indescribable. The love I have for my husband is like no other love I have ever experienced, and the way he expresses his love for me is remarkable. The love I have for my siblings is also very special, as is the love for my dearest and closest friends. The love I still feel for family and friends who are no longer living is very real, present, and strong. The love that I have for myself is probably the most important love relationship I have, because without it I cannot express my love or feel the love of others.

I also love my dogs, I mean who wouldn’t love something that is so happy to see you even if you have only been gone from their sight for a few minutes, and then gives the most unconditional love of anything else on the planet? And I love certain “things” that have sentimental meaning or a connection to a special event in, or person from, the past.  But is that really love? Yes, I think so.

But what is love, really? Is it just something we feel, express, give, take, want? Or is it something deeper that connects us to each other, the universe, and God in a way that nothing else can?

I am a deeply spiritual person. Not from a religious perspective, although I do identify as Christian. Religion is man-made, spirit is God-made. I feel a spiritual connection to the people, experiences, and things that draw me into a love relationship. When I experience a beautiful sunrise or sunset, listen to the waves of the ocean as I walk barefoot on the beach, or hear a musical performance that brings me to tears, I experience a feeling of connection and love that, most often, cannot be described in words. It is this feeling that I think most accurately describes love: it cannot be expressed in words that adequately describe the emotional feeling and connection.

The chemical reactions that occur in our bodies when we experience love should tell us something of the deep mind/body/spirit connection that we have to those whom we love and those experiences which cause us to feel love. When we feel those butterflies in the pit of our stomach when the one whom we love calls on the phone or walks into the room, or the lump that wells up in our throat and happy tears that spill without warning, those feelings are totally unplanned by the conscious mind but are automatically created by the body. When we cry over losing people, and even things, that are precious to us, the hurt that we feel is often something that we cannot consciously control as the tears flow. Love connects us to a deep place within our spirit that science, and words, cannot adequately explain.

I don’t believe that God, or the universe, wants us to fully understand love. What we experience here on Earth will pale in comparison to what waits for us when we leave this temporary residence. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard” is how it is described to us in the Bible. Other faiths identify the afterlife experience in much the same way: eternal love. We are not meant to fully understand it in this life. Those strong feelings we have here will be magnified multitudinous times when we are face-to-face with real Love.

And I look forward to that day with expectation!

With Love,

Doneane xx


Doneane Beckcom
CEO, Bold Radio Station
Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist
Fitness Nutrition Consulting, LLC

 

L.O.V.E. Written by Trilby Johnson

An article for the Missing Piece by

Trilby Johnson, Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist.

 

There is so much written on and about love – in books, songs, films, poetry. We humans seem fascinated and captivated by it, with many of us striving to have more of it in our lives. I know for a long-time I felt it was something ‘out there’ that I needed to acquire, earn and deserve as a kind of measure of my own self-worth and purpose. Yet, it seemed to elude me – in my own sense of love and my external relationships – although there was always a tiny flicker of it somewhere deep within me.

I experienced and observed how deprivation of this emotion formed behaviour patterns of frustration and pain. If love is really all we need, then surely more people would want this in their lives and there would be more of it visible in our lives, right? Yet, even from a young age, when I looked around me, I saw more struggle and suffering than I did Love and I knew that this simply wasn’t the whole truth of things. Consequently, I set out to discover and explore this mystery of love for myself, so that it was no longer merely an emotion and rather a state of unconditional being. Here is what I discovered …

 

‘L’ is for Letting Go

To uncover the true essence and experience of what love could be, it was necessary to look beyond the current definition of love. In my opinion, love with a capital L is something much larger and more subtle than the socialized version presented today, or the highly dramatize notions of romance put forward today and it goes much deeper than finding one’s soul mate in order to feel complete.

For many, the emotion of love goes beyond words in its intensity. Is this not an invitation in itself to go beyond the common definition of what it is or isn’t? Is this not the invitation of the unconditional, that the essence of this LOVE emotion is calling us to and through?

Have heard the saying, “If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours.” What if this was an invitation to let go of everything you think love is or has been or want it to be and be open to the experience of life itself, rather than the limiting definition of the search for a mate, partner or marriage? Free your mind and the love will follow. Letting go of what love should be and look like, allow you to experience something organically life-changing.

‘O’ is for Options

Whose definition of love are you adhering and conforming to?

How unconditional in this love and how is it working for you?

I don’t know about you, but for many years of my life I tried to condition my life to fit into other’s  version of what love was. A few were uplifting and expansive, whilst many left me feeling unhappy,  unloved and unlovable for a long time. I found freedom in the unconditional nature of which may spoke, although I didn’t experience or see much of it around me. So I decided break the mould and love on my own terms. I began to look for different options of what love could be.

The biggest and most impactful option I chose, was to love myself unconditionally. It’s my purpose and a continuous labour of love.

 

‘V’ is for Vulnerability

It’s often said in mindset and spiritual circles that there are only two options – love or fear. Is this true? And no there is no right or wrong answer. Only what each of us chooses to believe and experience so that we continue to grow. This requires vulnerability.

To be totally and comfortably uncomfortable with being vulnerable requires acknowledging your ability to respond (responsability) and being frankly honesty with yourself. While it is certainly a delicious blessing to feel loved by another, a true foundation of unconditional love lies within. It means having the courage to experience fear, hurt, loss, sadness as well as the joy, love and companionship of all our relationships. However, for each to reach their full potential unconditionally, there can be no judgement. Judgement is not unconditional and creates duality. This makes being vulnerable challenging as it seems there is always only two choices. Love or fear. Right or Wrong. Good or Bad. Vulnerable or Closed.

Vulnerability is an openness of body, mind and spirit that allows the unconditional to be experienced in all its options and beyond words. It’s the invitation to be open and to let love in and through. It is when we restrict ourselves that we experience hurt as painful.

 

‘E’ is for Expansion

In much of what is defined as love today, in my opinion, feels restrictive and I simply choose not to believe in this version. Instead, I feel love is expansive and an invitation to be and explore so much more. Expansion doesn’t necessarily refer to size here, but rather an experience of growth and joy and peace.

The universe is shown to be made up of energy – vibrations of atoms – that come together to create and give form. It is continually expanding into moreness! Could this be love? You decide.

As someone who had felt the lack of love for many years of my life, I see LOVE as an expansive force that is inevitably pushing us all forward. The type of journey we have is up to us. I have come to observe LOVE as one of humanity’s beautiful creations and one that will lead us into the depths and to the heights of who we are and can be.  There is no need to find it because we are already in it. Life and others are simple reflecting the depths and nuances back to us on the way.

I am on fire with LOVE for all that is.

Here’s love to you too,

Trilby xx

 

p.s. My book ‘FEARLESSLY ALONE – Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy’ is partly my story of how I found Love with a capital L and how emotions are having an impact on our physical health and why. To have a greater sense of love, self and peace in your life, order your copy online or via your local bookshop now -> http://www.trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com/books


Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She specializes in supporting individuals to resolve their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual trauma and pain and create a new genuine sense of self, health, peace and joy.

She is the founder of her own successful business Trilby Johnson – The Connective and through her work and writing supports her clients in attaining their next level of expertise, with her gentle yet effective methods that she has gained from over 25 years of experience in Behavioural Psychology and the healing arts.

Trilby is a successful Author of two books: ‘Fearlessly Alone: Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy’ and her collection of original quotes ‘A-Ha Moments: Inspirational Quotes To Shift Your Thinking

She has a degree in Psychology and is certified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Reiki, DNA Activation, Meta-Coaching, Holistic Massage and Advanced Healing Processes. Trilby seeks to continually transform her own life and uses all her tools personally.

Her days are spent following her joys: writing, travelling, guest speaking, reading, star gazing, enjoying her organic garden and country lifestyle.

To get in touch with Trilby go to:

Website : http://www.trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com
Email: info@trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com

 

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Love is More Than a Bouquet of Roses – Written By Wendy Hutchinson

Love is More Than a Bouquet of Roses

Written By Wendy Hutchinson

 

My oldest son rides motorcycles and has lived life full throttle from the moment he entered the world.  He was trying to beat a red light and an SUV jumped the green light and the damage was extensive.  I was out walking my dog that morning and a stranger called from his phone and asked me “do you have a son”?  I said “yes”, “does he ride a motorcycle”? I said “yes”.  My stomach started to twist into a knot and I knew this was not going to be good news.  He says “I just saw him T bone a car and he is lying in the middle of the street unconscious, I’m not sure if he’s alive, he’s at the intersection of Chimney Rock and 59.  Paramedics are on the scene.  Click.  I started running home dragging my dog.  I’m crying and starting to get hysterical and start bargaining with God, “don’t take him, I’m not ready, don’t call him home yet”!  I get in the house and start running up the 3 flights of stairs calling my husband’s name.  He was just getting out of the shower and I am crying uncontrollably “he’s dead! He’s dead! OMG he’s dead” I’m inconsolable.   My husband is just standing there in shock holding me and I tell him there has been an accident and my son was hit by an SUV and I just know he is dead or dying in the ambulance. I started gathering things for the hospital, dealing with my dogs and as I’m getting the downstairs set up for our old dog and the other one to doggie daycare, I’m begging God not to let my son die.  I wasn’t ready to lose him. Are we ever ready to lose the ones we love?  We started calling hospitals.   We found out where he was when a police officer called with the information, how he got my number I don’t know.  At this time, all I knew was he was alive and we raced to the ER.  In that moment, I knew what the depth of love is.

Love isn’t romance.  It isn’t sunsets and walks on the beach. Love is your soul connecting so deeply to another soul that pieces of you die when they die.  Love is the imprint two souls have on each other that say Namaste, the light in me honors the light in you.   Pure love is unconditional.  It doesn’t keep score.  It is being compassionate and forgiving and seeing beyond the pain the other is causing you.  Above all, love is choosing to be complete and whole so you can show up in a healthy way, set boundaries, create harmony but not codependency. Love honors you while holding space for the other.

Love is infinite in its depth and flows like a river between us all. It is a connection beyond words or space or time.  It is unbreakable although sometimes we feel broken.   Choosing Love over fear creates miracles and healing.  Although love varies from parent to child, or between you and your pet or between you and your spouse or friends and family, the one truth about love is it is eternal.  Choosing Love over fear allows you to show up as the highest version of yourself.

Fear was showing up for me in the ICU waiting room. The running tape of what if scenarios began immediately.  What if he is brain dead, what if he is paralyzed, what if he will require 24/7 care for the rest of his life? What does that look like for us?  I was just stepping fully onto my path as a Life Coach and Marconics energy practitioner, would I have to sacrifice my dreams to now care for my injured son for the rest of his life?  His girlfriend was hyperventilating on the waiting room floor, I’m comforting her, while my husband was sitting stoically dealing with his internal dialogue and emotions, taking it like a man.  Fear energy takes you right down into the abyss with no chance of clawing your way out.   Fear keeps you isolated and scared and it creates an imbalance in your entire being.  When we are in fear we want to lash out, be angry, stressed, anxious and no good outcomes ever come from that mental state.

So here we were in the ICU, I’m alone with him in his room, mother and son.  He has broken his jaw in 3 places, broken pelvis (cracked in half like and egg), broken wrist in 4 places, broken arm in 3 places and small skull fracture.  He was in agony and sweating from the pain.  I heard him breathing, I felt him suffering.  He had 3 surgeries in 4 days.  I was thankful he was still alive.  Love is intangible, yet I felt the depth of the love energy pouring over me from friends and family and I opened myself to receive it. This was an extremely hard situation as he couldn’t stand and was bed ridden for a minimum of 6 weeks, his was jaw wired shut so it was a strictly liquid diet. They discharged him from the hospital exactly 1 week after the accident.

One night my son was in so much pain nothing we could do was giving him any relief. All I could do was crawl into bed next to him and hold his hand, and just be there holding space for him as he took the pain. We laid there all night waiting for time to pass for next dose of pain meds.  It was in that moment, that I knew a love so deep for my son it created a reservoir of strength that allowed me to walk through the suffering. This was one of the hardest things I have ever faced. Love is not a bouquet of roses.  It is the full expansion of your heart reaching out and touching the heart of another.

Aloha,

Wendy xx


About Wendy Hutchinson:

Alinea Life Coaching

www.alinealifecoaching.com

TEL: 619-246-5948

GRATITUDE – Written By Doneane Beckcom

This whole summer, since July 4th weekend, has been a downer for me. I have been sick with a chronic sinus infection ever since then, been on way too many rounds of medication, my birthday sucked, my sweet sports car got crunched, I had to have sinus surgery, then Hurricane Harvey decimated my hometown and flooded my house.

Hard to find the gratitude in all of the muck and mire (literally) that has been my life for the past three-plus months, and especially the last 30+ days since we flooded.

I am still living in a home with no flooring, walls torn up at least 2’ from the floor all throughout, some walls totally gutted and ceilings gone, nothing on the walls, and all but the bare essentials packed up and moved into storage. My OCD is in overdrive because of the chaos that is my home.

But it could have been worse. So I am grateful.

While I was sleeping through the storm with my dogs (doped up on pain meds because my sinus surgery was literally the day before it hit), neighbors across the highway from me were fleeing their homes in waist-deep and sometimes neck-deep water. A dear friend called me frantic at 2AM, wanting to know who she should call to rescue her elderly mother, who was now on the 2nd floor of her home and the water was coming up the staircase.

The stories we heard in the next few days were harrowing compared to what we experienced.

The evening that the storm was coming onshore, my husband brought me my rain boots to keep by the bed in the event the water was deeper when we woke up (it was barely coming into the house when I laid down at 11PM). It was over ankle deep when we got up, and stayed that way for over 2 days. While my wood plank flooring floated all over the house, we tried to save what furniture we could. We were moving in slow motion, like zombies in the Apocalypse, not really knowing what to do or where to go, assuming we could even leave our neighborhood.

But it could have been worse.

While we lost a few pieces of furniture and all of our flooring, some neighbors and friends had water up to the rooftop and lost everything. My niece, who is getting married soon, lost her entire house (thank goodness the wedding dress was NOT there). Some people lost their lives.

So after the initial shock of it all started to wane, and I could go a full day without crying hysterically at feeling so overwhelmed with everything (and still feeling horrible from the surgery I was not able to adequately recover from), I had to stop and think.

I am grateful.

I am grateful for the rescues that we watched from our kitchen window, as civilian strangers came and launched their boats from our front yard and got people out of their flooded homes all around us, with just the clothing on their back and their pets.

I am grateful that first responders and military came from all over, leaving their own homes to come and help people here that they do not know. Some of them had flooded homes as well, but felt the call of duty stronger than dealing with their own situations.

I am grateful for my daughter and her fiancé, who dropped everything to come to our house and help us pack up what we could, rip out wet floors and walls, clean up our pool that looked like a lagoon, and worked tirelessly for days to make sure my husband and I were alright. They never complained, never asked for anything, and never listened to us when we said “go home and rest, we are fine.”

I am grateful for all of the mission trips I went on over the last 15 years, helping people who had experienced the same thing I was now going through, helping them sort through their lives, decide what to keep and what to discard, and leaving it all on the curb like trash. Now I know how it feels to be the recipient of that kind of help. And I had often wondered, as I did that work for others, how I would feel if it were me who needed the help. Now I know.

And I am grateful.

I am grateful for the tears that I am shedding as I sit and write this article, knowing that now they are tears of joy and gratitude, and not stress and worry. We are going to be fine. I can cry now knowing that God has truly walked with us through this, and will be by our sides until we are finished rebuilding.

I am grateful because I know that it could have been so much worse.

We could be the people living in the “tent city” in the parking lot of our local Civic Center. But we are living in our home still, even though it is a bit torn up. We are home.

We could be without jobs because our offices flooded or employers shut down and let us go. But we are both still gainfully employed and did not suffer any loss of income because of this event.

We could be homeless. We could be displaced far from our families. But we aren’t.

And I am grateful.

If you are in a time of your life where you are finding it hard to be grateful, be encouraged by this: God spoke to me loud and clear in the depths of my sorrow and helped me to see His hand in this. A friend came over to check on us and as I cried she prayed over me, and quoted the scripture about how God cares for the tiny sparrows, and how He considers us to be of so much more worth than sparrows. When she went to leave and I opened the front door, the largest flock of sparrows I have ever seen was in my front yard, and the door startled them so they took off in a flutter.  I knew without a doubt that God was showing me that He is with us and we will be fine.

And I am grateful.

Thank you for reading,

Doneane Beckcom


Doneane Beckcom
CEO, Bold Radio Station
Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist
Fitness Nutrition Consulting, LLC

6 Ways Gratitude can Change your Life – Written by Ellen Rich

By Ellen Rich, Holistic Life Coach and Founder

www.act2.expert

 

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

~ Melody Beattie[1]

 

#1.  Gratitude is something many of us don’t really understand

When I first ran across the concept of gratitude, it wasn’t clear to me. Did it mean saying thank-you, was it a religious notion or did it connote paying it forward?  Is there something special about gratitude; is being grateful synonymous to being a good person or is it something we feel only when pressed?  It seemed obtuse and I never was able to use it as a word or feel it within my body.

As I think back over my life, one situation where I felt gratitude in my heart and throughout my body was after my mother passed away.  We had become very close in the years I was her caregiver. Our sharing as mother and daughter shifted, as we became close friends and changed roles.

Devastated at her passing, I wailed and cried.  After the 2- year mark passed, I started remembering things that she had done for me my entire life.  She birthed me, protected me, encouraged me, and stood by me in several grueling situations.  I now carry her in my heart and she is with me 24/7- always there to give me guidance.  This is how I define gratitude.

 

#2.  An unclear focus can be shifted with gratitude

We all experience uncomfortable to extremely painful situations.  Just the other day I had someone get upset with me because I hit the wrong emoji button (thumbs down) in a text message and couldn’t correct it.  Feedback from others told me this was devastating for this person.  I had no idea and said I was sorry.  Too late, the damage was done.

I was miffed and got progressively upset as I thought about what had happened.  There was really nothing I could do.  And that was my “ticket” to gratitude.  Several feelings arose that I could feel in my heart including my need to be liked and that maybe there was a better way to spend my time.  As I sat with this, I began to feel gratitude and my anger dissipated. I was grateful as now I had time to do another project that meant more to me.

 

#3.  Gratitude can impact the quality of your life

The impact can include emotions, physical condition and aging, support systems, and mental capabilities. There may be parts you have denied or hidden away. To be a complete person with the best quality of life, total integration of your being will help during the rough patches.

Gratitude is more than material wealth or the perfect body. These will not improve the quality of your life.  Gratitude is something that shifts your entire life.  Sometimes because you have selflessly helped someone and received incomparable joy, you begin to recognize gratitude in your life.

We listen to the people on TV that have weathered the hurricanes and property devastation this year.  They say that by helping another they feel better and are very grateful despite their personal problems. It’s the only thing they can possibly do.  They see no other choice.

Recently, there was a massive killing of 58 (as of this writing) by one gunman. Over 500 were injured. With no one in charge, everyone was on their own.  But something magical happens within disasters.  People put their lives aside to aid victims, cover bodies to save someone else and take a bullet and run right into fire to give people time to escape.  All involved seemed grateful for helping a fellow human being.

 

#4.  Gratitude can improve your happiness factor

“Two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons from the University of California, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough from the University of Miami, have committed much of their research careers to studying the effects of gratitude.

“In one such study, the researchers asked a group of people to write a few sentences every week about a particular topic. One group was instructed to write about things that didn’t make them happy. Another was instructed to write about things that they were grateful for. And the control group was instructed to write about things that had occurred but with no focus towards being positive or negative.

The results? The group that was instructed to write about things that they were grateful for was far happier and optimistic about their lives than the group that had focused on things that had occurred in a negative light. When we’re grateful for things, it’s a natural occurrence to be happier about life. You realize the things you have rather than the things you don’t.”[1]

#5.  How gratitude can lighten or reduce your inner most fears

We all have fears, but often we live with or suppress them until they “pop out” again.  Fear comes at us when we feel out of control.  We dwell on the past and get depressed or project into the future and feel anxious. Most people don’t fix these feelings. The mother who picks the car up for a trapped child, the underage girl who pursues her rapist, and the gang banger who leaves his street tribe; love or fear, is their motivation and this can result in gratitude.

 

#6.  Faith? Religion? Spirituality?

According to several online sources (Google search) there are around 4,500 religions in the world. This does not include the off shoots or others that aren’t mainstream.  With time and changing needs this number varies.

Everyone on the planet has a slightly different definition of their faith, religion, spirituality or none. Can nothing have a defination in the grand scheme of things gratitude can transform your life by linking you to something greater than to yourself (ego).

“We’re born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.”[2]

Orson Welles[3]

Links:

[1] http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty/mmccullough/gratitude/Emmons_McCullough_2003_JPSP.pdf

[2] http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty/mmccullough/gratitude/Emmons_McCullough_2003_JPSP.pdf

[3] https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/o/orsonwelle142014.html

Thank you for reading,

Ellen  Rich


After working in the corporate world for 30+ years, Ellen started a Holistic Life Coaching program.  Called act2.expert (www.act2.expert), it is a Holistic Life Coaching Program that allows the client drive the process in a safe and comfortable environment.  Ellen has a BA, MBA, many certificates and has attended Wisdom of the Whole Coaching Academy.