Article Written By Trilby Johnson
“Mind what you are saying, especially about and to yourself.
Because you always tend to believe it.”
– Trilby Johnson
Mindset, is all about the stories we tell ourselves as well as what motives us when making the decisions and taking the actions we do. Our mindset consists of belief systems that we learn as children and that will inform much of our lives as adults. Beliefs are the mental building blocks we have that help us to make sense of the world around us and which many use to draw meaning about their lives from. Mindset is important because it fuels our attitudes and the way it which we respond to situations and other people and it helps us to form habits.
For much of our lives, we operate from these conscious and subconscious mindsets. Depending on the quality of the predominant mindset however, as we go through different life stages, situations and experiences, a specific mindset which may have been suitable and effective beforehand, no longer offers the most appropriate results and outcomes and may require reassessment and updating to something new.
Sounds straightforward for sure. Yet many people struggle with this. Firstly, because these mindsets are often operating on a subconscious level as well as being habitual and automatic behaviours and responses. And so whilst a person may really desire to change a specific belief and attitude, they may experience resistance. For instance, a person who lacks self-confidence may desire to feel more confident. And so they may choose to believe they are more confident and there may even be an improvement in their confidence levels – like the ‘fake it till you make it’ slogan. This may work for a while. However, faking it will not be sustainable for very long and often the older more habitual mindset can pull them down. This is the reason that in my opinion and experience, positive affirmations can only take someone so far, before there needs to be another shift to the next level.
Image courtesy of pixabay.com
To experience mindset in an evergreen way, there is more to mindset than mere beliefs. They are indeed the building blocks to how we choose to function in the world. Yet humans are also sentient beings and so much of our prioritizing is based on our value system, which is the foundation of our building blocks. This aspect is often overlooked when it comes to wanting to install new belief patterns. The reason, in my experience, that there can be so much resistance is because when our values and our beliefs are not in alignment, we experience resistance and feel that we have to force or struggle in life.
Our values are a set of core principles that for the most part, subconsciously fuel the decisions and beliefs we choose across our lives and they are ranked by importance and need. Values are not our beliefs and inner tension can arise when two important values come into play and create a feeling of conflict, when it comes to making important decisions.
For instance, whether to stay in a job that is no longer satisfying and boring for security reasons and because that’s how it’s been there for years. Or go for a new job or lifestyle where it would be possible to express more creativity and independence, although it’s risking financial security. In a case like this, there may be several conflicting beliefs, feelings and circumstances that need to be managed. More often than not, a person can feel pulled in different directions and this makes choosing the correct mindset and attitude challenging. Values come from the heart and beliefs come from the head. So the challenge is finding a happy medium that makes resetting our minds easier.
To do this, prioritizing and updating our values is very important because situations and options are changing all the time, as we grow and expand. Here’s an example! A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be happier and healthier and release the struggle that seem to always appear. So I sat down and did an evaluation and prioritization of my values. One of my top three priorities was ‘security’. Imagine my astonishment when I realized that happiness and health were not even in my top 10! So I had to shift my beliefs around ‘being safe’ and looking at ‘happiness and health’ in a new way. This change in priorities and values, helped me shift my thinking and establish a new mindset, that incorporated all of these values.
Here is a short exercise to help identify your top 10 core values are:
Sit down and write down the first things that come to mind that are important to you in your life. (If you need examples of values, just google values to find lists to draw from.)
- Rank them from 1 to 10 with 1 being the most important and 10 the least.
- Then ask yourself if these are still valid for you?
- Are these values truly your own?
- When sorted, ask if there are any ‘new’ values that you wish to add? Add and rank them.
- Reflect on what has come up and also write down any of the beliefs that may have popped up. For example, health depends on genetic make-up; or if I am happy people will think I am selfish etc.
- If the values identified are not in your top 10, I invite you to add them in. Then sit back and watch what shows up.
- Repeat often.
Actively participating in setting our values, helps to prioritize and activate them in both the conscious and subconscious mind. This dynamic is what fuels a powerful and positive intention, attitude and mindset. Having a valuable mindset, requires adding value to our lives and ensuring that we choose beliefs that will serve us best as we grow and expand and enjoy our daily lives.
p.s. Would you like a great resource of original inspiration to support shifting your mindset? My book ‘A-Ha Moments’ is available online and will support you in having your own a-ha moments ->http://www.amazon.com/dp/1502576678/beyuwebe-20
Much Love, Trilby
p.s. Would you like a great resource of original inspiration to support shifting your thinking? My book ‘A-Ha Moments’ is available online and will support you in having your own a-ha moments.
Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She supports conscious and forward-thinking individuals to move from pain to resolution by resolving the core imbalances that destabilize and limit them, leaving them stuck in the muck of trauma and pain. When they connect the essence of who they truly are, they realize and align with their full potential and live happy, healthy and successful lives, on their own terms.
Article Written By Ellen Rich, Holistic Life Coach and Founder
“The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.”
~Jacob Lew Read
People have different approaches to money. Rich or poor, perception of money changes with context. Each financial group from billionaires to the homeless evaluate groups they are not a part.
Family and culture play a huge role in how you approach money and budget. A large family that lives together may need less money and can stretch a budget. A single person living on their own, however, may not be able to do this as well. Money and budgets are not good or bad. The key is determining what you have now, what resources will come into your possession, and lifestyle.
Whomever you are living with, someone or living on your own, you need to decide how money is consolidated or kept separate from others. Expenses are split and money allocated depending on each person’s contribution and perspective. Bills need to be paid and a monthly budget plan put into place.
Debt: most of us use it.
Many people stretch their lifestyle by borrowing money (banks, friends, family, investment accounts and credit cards). * closed parentheses added. There is always a price to pay for borrowing money. The budget may be met, but the emotional price and financial impact depends on your particular situation. Emotions can (fly) RUN HIGH when discussions about income, spending and debt arise.
Danger, danger and more danger!
If you borrow or lend money, beware that the long -term outcome may not work out as agreed. I know of someone who lent a “friend” $1,000 and never saw it again. Even landlords or the tax collectors may impose rules on you that you didn’t anticipate. Think about what could happen and plan accordingly.
What is your money make-up?
How you view money can impact budget decisions. Even if your current situation looks strong, spenders and savers often clash. Situations can change (layoffs, death, illness, children, etc.).
Money usually creates financial “power” issues
This issue can be traced back to how much money you have and can impact issues that you never experienced. A loss of a salary can change the entire household. Additionally, your salary negotiations fall into this category. Applying for a loan or government financial aid also can impact you due to the loss of your power. Whoever has the money has the financial power.
Children are expensive. It is estimated by CNN.com that it costs $233,610 to raise a child to until they reach the age of 18. And colleges are very expensive? There are student loans, community colleges, trade schools and government subsidies. Your choice is based on your financial commitment to your child.
Sometimes children over 18 want to continue to live with you to reduce their expenses. You need to consider how much money you will use to support adult children. It can help if your adult children decide to support you or can contribute financially to the household. I became a caretaker to my mother for 8 years when she was in her 80’s. This impacted my job, working part time, salary, siblings and inheritance.
As your parents or elders age, their ability or desire to earn income falls. Most seniors may want to live alone, but can’t afford it. They may also be sickly and need help with healthcare and day-to-day activities. Outside, home health care is very expensive.
Where will your money going to go? Is it going to you, your household, relatives or parents? These decisions may impact your savings and lifestyle. The good news here is that your extended family may help you out in ways you never considered.
Communication is the key to financial challenges. Dealing with debt is essential in understanding your ongoing plans. Bankruptcy or wage garnishment may be just around the corner. If married you are responsible for your partner’s debt. Don’t shy away from pre-nuptial discussions or a contract when setting up a household with others.
Divorce is quiet common and over 50% of marriages are impacted. Without understanding the laws in your state, province or country, this can be devastating from a financial standpoint. Go online or visit a divorce attorney to find out what you may be responsible for. Good advice to keep you on top of your money is, “Never a borrower or a lender be.”
Why do I need a budget?
A budget is a plan that allows you to compare the amount of money you have with your expenses. Budgets can be developed for any time period, but a monthly review is a good idea to see if you are on track. Budgets are flexible and can be changed based on circumstances. Budgets are critical in making big purchases. They can help you decide whether to make a purchase or not. With budgets you remain “in the know” of your resources so there are no surprises.
Thank you so much for reading, much love
After working in the corporate world for 30+ years, Ellen started a Holistic Life Coaching program. Called act2.expert (www.act2.expert), it is a Holistic Life Coaching Program that allows the client drive the process in a safe and comfortable environment. Ellen has a BA, MBA, many certificates and has attended Wisdom of the Whole Coaching Academy.
It’s Time to Stop the Gossiping and Criticising:
Everyone gossips and the majority of people criticise others. As much as you would love to hear the newest piece of juiciest gossip about the girl across the road, or the PRIVATE message somebody shared with you, that you then screenshot and posted through social media to share with your followers.… it’s time to give it up!
As a coach, it really boils my blood to see this happen on the Facebook day in day out, the fact that one person came to somebody and opened their selves up wide in a PRIVATE message and the coach takes it upon their selves to then screenshot it and share it with their following to criticise and condemn the person who sent it!
Gossipping and criticising are another projection of someone’s low self-esteem and insecurities. If you’re criticising something about that person then it shows you have something that you’re not comfortable within yourself. It places on a show that you need to gain attention by pulling down somebody else. Which is far from living in integrity and completely shooting yourself in the foot as a coach who is clearly displaying their unfaithfulness with the lives that have been placed in your hands.
Nobody should trust a gossip, and nobody would want to work with a gossip in the success field. If all you can do is bitch and criticise then people will avoid you. People will work with you if you are good, honest, caring and do not judge or share PRIVATE content.
You have a private message box so that people can come to you and feel safe in a safe place and trusting you with their words of communication. For you to take that PRIVATE conversation and spread it all across social media is really you planting the seed to your own crappy experience, that will most likely hit you in the face 12 weeks from now. When we condemn somebody, we condemn ourselves 10 x times worse!
Now don’t take this from me! Take this from the natural divine laws that are written and placed into this universe to keep it orderly. I never wrote them, the powers that-be way above my head did. You reap what you sow! In everything you do!
So why do people find the need to gossip? Why do they find the need to plant such rotten seeds for themselves?
The reason why people gossip in groups is because they are petrified that any gossip will be spoken about them. Secretly they cannot help wondering what you are saying about them when they aren’t around. So if they make themselves part of the team of gossipers than they know that the gossip attention is on somebody else rather than their own lives. Could you EVEN imagine opening up your social media one morning and the PRIVATE conversation you had with one coach is then screenshot and posted on their public feed? ESPECIALLY if you are a person who has only JUST started your journey of self-discovery and you have such a MASSIVE journey to start yet?
How would you feel? How would you feel seeing your message, your beliefs and your PRIVATE words being pulled down? Pretty shit right? You would feel like that coach just crapped all over you and your trust would be gone in one second flat. You would left to feel violated and like you could never trust a coach in that niche again. It would leave a very painful mark on anybody’s trust and hurt somebodies feelings.
If you are a coach/mentor/teacher and you have been chosen to be faithful with the lives that are presented before you. If you cannot be faithful with them lives and feed your ego with attention grabbing ways that pull somebody down instead, then you deserve the kick in the ass that’s coming your way! Like I said previously, when we condemn somebody, we condemn ourselves 10 x times worse!
Recently I started a top 100 coaches list and will be publishing this in The Missing Piece Magazine as from August 17th, 2017.
On this list is the coaches that I have hand picked myself and have checked out and deserve to be on that list, these coaches will go through many in depth checks per year to see if they truly are living from integrity and how they interact with their followers to enable them to stay on that list.
When you start your self-discovery journey you deserve to be presented with people who CAN be faithful with your PRIVATE words and who don’t display them for their own attention. I know myself I have started clearing up my friend’s list on Facebook because I really don’t want to be associated with those who feel the need to pull others down. It’s down right crap, unfaithful and so far from integrity, it’s unreal.
You deserve the best in life, so keep your standards high!
Check out the 100 coaches list as from August in The Missing Piece Magazine! You deserve the best!
Have a wonderful Tuesday!
This is the biggest piece of advice I could give anyone who is on their journey towards building their online business. This is something I learnt at the very beginning of my own journey, and I have never looked back.
If you’re looking for information on how to be successful, ask successful people themselves. You will be surprised at how many of them are really helpful and are willing to talk about how they became successful in the first place. Or help you and teach you how they did it.
Social networking sites are very powerful tools and can be used to your advantage to either build what you are creating or receive support from the most amazing people in the world. It’s not just there to communicate with your friends—it’s also there to be used as a tool. So use it to your advantage!
However, I must warn you! It does have its downsides of some service providers/coaches promising you the Earth but never delivering or people calling themselves social media experts, when really they only have 500 followers on their page.
Find a person from your area of interest that is an expert and has become successful at what you wish to achieve! Ask them for some advice, or see how they can train you. This will then give you information on how to become successful in the field yourself. Their advice will point out the areas that you need to work on in order to reach your goals.
At the beginning of this week, I came up with the idea that I was going to start publishing 100 of the best coaches in the back of every issue of The Missing Piece magazine. This way our readers can access a trustworthy list of the best coaches handpicked by myself, in many different niches, so that they can be completely comfortable knowing that the people in that directory have ACTUALLY achieved what you wish to learn and apply to your own life.
Building a business isn’t easy, and with all the distractions around you and promises from people who promise to teach you 6 figures in 6 weeks, it can be stressful, overwhelming and sometimes completely confusing who to trust???? Well, never fear in asking anyone what they have achieved. Never be scared to come right out and ask (before you have paid them) “What have you achieved in your own life/business to this date?”
If they can’t give you the answers that really impress you or make you think “Wow I want to learn how to do that” then obviously it would be a waste of your time, and money to pay them. You would basically come away more frustrated then you went into the mentorship with them.
You worked hard for your cash, so invest it wisely! You deserve to live out your dreams and passions and be taught right by the right people. So never fear to ask before you invest, research the person before you invest, find out more about the person before you invest.
This little piece of research could lead to saving you a broken heart and money that could have been invested elsewhere to somebody who could help you! I look forward to publishing the top 100 coaches in our magazine issues to help you find the right coach for you!
You can expect our 100 coach directory to start appearing in our August 17th, 2017 issue. Over the course of the next 12 months, I will be looking to grow the directory up to 100 coaches in all different niches. These coaches will be TRUSTED and WILL bring change to your life!
I am excited to bring them to you!
Have a wonderful Thursday, and may this day be the best one yet!
The past 7 days have been really extreme for me to say the least! You know when you have them moments of “Oh my gosh! Look how far I have come” moments?
Well, that was me this week. I watched a real life drama that told the story of a young woman who was beaten to death by her boyfriend while her 3-year-old daughter watched. This really placed me back to where I was 7 years ago, and how freaking LUCKY I am to be alive today!
I was in an abusive relationship in my early 30’s, which nearly cost me my life. The stress of that relationship caused me to develop anxiety disorder, which resulted from me in having huge panic attacks—one panic attack resulted in a stroke, which paralysed the right side of my body for two months afterwards. So to sit there and watch another person’s story and the fact she never made it out alive was EXTREME! I had a moment where I was shocked that I had come this far and was still alive.
Watching another person’s story took me back to the times when my ex would come home from the pub and sit at the end of my bed for two hours and give me of verbal torture, then he would then fall asleep into a beer coma next to me until morning. There were many times when I woke up in the morning wet through because he had wet the bed at the side of me. He would drink so much that he wouldn’t even get up to go to the bathroom, and just lay there and peed himself instead. One evening, when I suggested that he should slow down with his drinking because I was afraid he may have a drinking problem, he launched across the room and grabbed me by the neck and pushed my back up against the wall. He started squeezing my throat tighter and tighter and I panicked, thinking he was going to kill me. Finally, he slackened his grip and I fell to the floor, gasping for breath.
The ladies story took me back to my own, and the next morning I cried my eyes out. Not because I was upset, or because my life is bad in any way. I cried with massive appreciation in my heart that I now live with one amazing, loving man who will be my husband in only 10 weeks time. That I have a business that I love and a family that is so beautiful and precious in every way. I cried because I had completely changed my life around from the life I had only 7 and the half years ago!
I cried because I am so lucky compared to so many people in relationships who aren’t so lucky. The ones that don’t make it to even write a blog like this to share with you because their partner took their life. Having this huge awakening this week completely knocked me for six and I had to take time out for me to process all of this. Plus, yet another terrible incident happening in London this week where a whole tower block of people lost their homes, lost their loved ones and had to stand there and watch everything their own go up in flames.
All this and starting my new college course in addiction counselling and starting with my new coach was so much to take in and process all in one week. So when there is a lot to process it only means one thing for me. Take 5, process it all, recharge and then come back ready to face the world like a lion once more. If you don’t give yourself process time then your brain will overload and you could end up completely drained.
We always have to remember we are only human and breakthroughs, learning and situations in the world can have a massive impact upon you. And that’s ok, but just be honest with yourself and notice when you do need to process, and respect yourself enough time to allow that process to happen.
If I was to pretend to you that shit never happened to me, or that I didn’t need time to process all that has hit me in one week, wouldn’t I be really bullshitting you? I would be setting a fake stage by saying “Growth is easy” … Mmmmm no it isn’t! It’s far from freaking easy, and your followers will appreciate you so much more if you actually admit it!
So this is my confession list to you today:
- I cried this week because I am lucky to have all abusive relationships behind me and be still alive.
I have a new and amazing coach and she taught me more in one week than I learnt in 2 years!
The London tower fire made my heart heavy for those who have lost everything.
I am a college student working towards a Diploma in Addiction coaching and loving it!
I brought Matthew (future husband) to tears with his father’s day gift.
I am a human being and needed the time out yesterday to process everything from this week.
I am really really really appreciative of my life and YOU.
It’s been one heck of a journey to get here today, but I wouldn’t change any part of it. I will continue on this journey of growing The Missing Piece Magazine so that people like myself on a growth journey can have access to a powerful tool for FREE! So that they have to hand everything they need to work through them moments of processing. So they too don’t feel completely blinded by all the “perfection” that is placed before them in the world.
It can be so easy to follow somebody who makes it all look easy, who really does not tell you half of what they actually go through behind the scenes and to me that’s just complete rubbish and setting a fake high standard that you will never in a million years reach, or die trying. Growth is far from easy, it’s just freaking worth it!
This journey is never about how far you have yet to go, it’s about how far you have come already. Every other day from here on is just another bonus of you going further. As we go into the weekend take time for yourself and your own processing of this week. Tomorrow is the release of issue 6 of The Missing Piece Magazine and in this month’s issue, we are looking at The Laws of the Universe. what are they? Who wrote them? What are they all about? Do they work? and so much more will be answered inside with powerful articles and interactive video articles.
This is your chance to process some of the powerful knowledge in this month’s issue from all our 30 coaches and Plus an Exclusive Interview with our cover guy Mark Baker and so much more. Place your name and email address in the sign-up box below and issue 6 will be delivered straight to your inbox tomorrow.
So, until next time have a wonderful weekend and make this day your best day yet!
Overwhelmed? Moi? I’d like to say definitely not but suffice to say that I’m over deadline with this article. Not good, not pleased with myself. That old thing about counting sheep when trying to fall asleep never worked for me – why? Because the whole flock launched itself at the fence in one team action, rather than sedately lining up and jumping over singly in a civilised fashion. My life currently feels just like that. I’m smiling quietly to myself and, as I’m alone not raising suspicion by so doing, because each month I find the title of the article pertinent to my circumstances. Funny that, given the subject of each article was decided many moons ago. I guess that’s a topic for another day – am I just subconsciously more aware of what’s coming up? Interesting.
Actually, I’m rather pleased with myself. Just a few months’ ago I was having tests for leukaemia and was very ill indeed. Fast forward a few months – and many, many medical tests – and I’ve come from complete physical overwhelm and crawling into bed by seven o’clock each evening, to currently concurrently holding down three jobs. I didn’t intent that to happen, the employment sheep hurled themselves simultaneously over the fence and the current fiscals dictate that each opportunity be seized with gratitude. I’m finding that deep gratitude for my renewed health and wellbeing is lifting me to a place where I can, with planning and a ‘will do’ attitude, cope with the demands on my time and fortitude. You see, the knowledge that the medics don’t know what I have/have had, but do know that it isn’t terminal, fuels a place deep within that enables the strength to rise up and meet whatever is incoming. Hold on to that thought if – and I hope you never will – feel you’re surviving with your nostrils only just above the water.
So far I’ve touched on physical and employment overwhelm, both of which have a negative connotation. However, there is always a balance in life and nature and, for me, it is being completely and utterly overwhelmed with gratitude for my health and all that represents; my recovery from illness and my physical, mental and emotional ability to power on through the next three months of triple employment. And that, my friends, is an enormous positive.
At times, we might feel we’re sinking under the burden of emotional, time or financial pressures from others or just demands we place upon ourselves to conform, perform or be all things to everyone. Do you do that? I know I have certainly been one to try and fix everything for everyone, mistakenly feeling I had to keep everyone’s lives in a constant state of equilibrium. A dear friend opened my eyes to that one by suggesting that it was actually rather arrogant of me to assume I could do a better job of THEIR lives than THEY could. I had caused my own very unnecessary overwhelm by being a self-appointed ‘fixer’. Oh, the relief of letting all that go and, I assume, the relief for others that I had! Hmmm, all that overwhelm caused by me for myself. Do you do that? Cut it back, simplify and/or rectify would be my top tip, having got the full set of tee-shirts on this one!
Overwhelm strikes at the most unexpected times, sometimes literally rendering us incapable of speech or action. I’ve known both. May I share something with you? My mother had years of poor health and several times I sat through the night with her, having been told she wouldn’t make it through to the morning. She always did, confounding the medics. One day, I had a call from the nursing home saying Mum had been sick in the night and they were calling the doctor. I said I’d be over shortly. I was busy preparing a buffet for some visitors due later that day. When I arrived, Mum said “Well, Jan, I think this might be the end of the road for me. If it is, I want you to know how truly honoured I am to have had you as my daughter”. I was so overwhelmed by the moment that I just couldn’t respond. Mum was blind and so couldn’t see my reaction. To this day it troubles me that I didn’t thank her for being such a wonderful mother and tell her how much I loved her. I was literally unable to speak. I didn’t expect it was the end as she looked well and was up, dressed and quite perky. She died later that afternoon.
Fast forward a week and I was trying to get the house cleaned as I wanted everyone to come to our home after saying goodbye, and I knew this would make Mum happy. I was against the clock and yet I just sat staring at the vacuum cleaner, unable to move to start the cleaning, totally immobilised by overwhelming thoughts and emotions. Now I’m usually a capable ‘just get on with it’ sort of girl, so I was perplexed by my inability to respond to the needs of the moment. Luckily for me, a dear friend turned up, took charge of the vacuum and did for me what I was unable to even begin.
I’ve touched on emotional, physical and mental overwhelm, both short and long term, so it might be helpful to have a look at each of those.
Builds up over hours, not months. Slow-burn, increases over a period of weeks or months.
Lose focus and just can’t keep going, Stressful job, long hours, little rest.
Studying for/taking exams Long-term project or care-giver
Intense mental focus for a few hours. Constant demands on time/energy.
Exhausted, no more to give after a hard Illness, p oor sleep and nourishment
day, or physical endeavour
Frustration/anger, disagreements, regret Divorce, loss of a loved one.
over action/inaction/responses redundancy, unemployment
STRATEGIES FOR COPING
Perhaps the most important first step is acknowledging that we are in a state of overwhelm, regardless of its origin. Sometimes a whole herd of life events come at us at once and knock the stuffing out of us; it might be a relationship break-up or an argument, or a loss of some kind.
Left to boil over, overwhelm in any one area can have a crippling affect in all areas of life to the degree we’re unable to function. Taking control is essential and that requires planning.
Sometimes we just have to work with what we have and deal with life events, as and when they happen. If there are many and various issues to deal with, what can you do to reduce the load? Is it possible to ask for help – this was the subject of an earlier article – either with the tasks themselves or with emotional support to enable you to work through them. Can you do anything to spread out the mental heavy lifting so that it becomes more manageable?
At times like this, it’s essential to be aware of those situations which make us feel emotional and negatively fired-up and avoid them, since they drain away energy reserves that can be better utilised performing the tasks which lie ahead.
Frustration and anger are forms of emotional overwhelm and are states we often find ourselves in. In the short term, perhaps we’ve had an argument and thoughts of what was said, or what we wish we’d said or done, are festering away inside which is so draining of our energy, leaving little in the pot for family or friends. When we’re angry and mentally fatigued, we’re not in the right mindset to respond appropriately so it’s best not to react immediately, but rather re-visit the scenario after a period of rest and reflection when it’s easier to see things in perspective.
When we’re emotionally stunned by loss of some kind, be it death, divorce, health issues or redundancy, overwhelm can build over weeks and months, following on from the emotional shock we’ve suffered. Or perhaps it’s built up over a period of time with an ever-increasing workload or level of responsibility.
Whatever the cause, short or long term, taking time to practice mindfulness and meditation really can provide a breathing space and allow us to identify where we’re ‘bleeding’ energy and becoming exhausted. If this doesn’t come easily to you, then begin by just being still physically, breathing deeply and allowing yourself just be in the moment, perhaps listening to some calming music of choice, for music really does reach those places deep within and also soothe the troubled mind.
Sometimes there’s just nothing left in the tank after a hard day at work, or a period of sustained mental concentration such as when studying or focusing on a project for a few hours. The key to reversing this is hydration, nourishment and sleep.
It’s imperative to plan ahead if we know that a period of sustained physical stress is approaching. It’s necessary to rejuvenate ourselves every day which takes discipline and planning. Having enough sleep is essential, as is regular exercise which increases the oxygen circulation and is therefore good for the whole body and helps with clarity of thought. Conserve energy for the tasks you know must be completed.
We’re happy enough to make sure our care has the correct grade of fuel, enough water, is regularly serviced and is taken out for a run to keep everything oiled and working smoothly. If we don’t, it won’t work efficiently. Yet, when we’re tired and fatigued, we often settle for junk food and top up with ‘performance’ drinks and yet expect our bodies to perform at optimum level. It won’t be long before our immune system starts to break down and we pick up illnesses we would have overcome without even realising, had we not been tired and poorly nourished.
So, what can you do to have more and better quality rest?
If It’s Going To Be Long Haul …
Welcoming any help, and actively seeking assistance, is really important to sustain the days and weeks ahead. A ‘self can manage’ attitude might just bring your little boat crashing onto the rocks. Is there a friend or relative who is there to discuss things with, or just listen as you unload? An emotional support network really is a safety net to catch us when we feel we’re falling, and there will be days when it all seems too much. But it isn’t, and somehow we find that courage within to carry us forward.
The rejuvenative power of sleep really is the key to the tool box. It enables the mind to re-set, the body to repair and the brain to shuffle thoughts into a brighter perspective.
As mentioned earlier, good nutrition and hydration and building some exercise into the day will keep mind, body and soul healthy so energy isn’t dissipated into recovering from illness, either mental or physical.
If there’s a project or exam deadline, pace the work or revision so optimum performance is achieved and maintained. Schedule what needs to be done and when to achieve success and stick to it. There’s a real sense of achievement in ticking the boxes, as tasks are successfully achieved.
If overwhelmed by loss, the above still applies, although it’s never easy to keep moving forward. Try to look for one positive each day, and hold on to that. The light will shine again but take time to grieve and adjust to the changes in life going forward. Healing and recovery from overwhelm of any kind is not time-specific and will vary for everyone. We have to be kind and nurture ourselves in the way we would those we love.
It’s late now, so I’m off for some rejuvenating rest. I wish you peace, happiness and success until we meet again next month. Remember, be kind to yourself because you deserve it!
Through careers in nursing, the police, the corporate world and as a successful business owner, Janet Swift continued hiding her potential until life’s hobnail boot startled her awake. Today, Janet helps clients recognise events which shaped them, inspiring them to shine by living in integrity with their values and aspirations.
Humility is an extremely important part of being a coach, especially a very successful coach, or any online business service that helps, consults and mentors people.
When you start to act like you are above people because you have a few titles under your belt, then that’s when you need to check in with yourself. No title in the world will make you more supreme than another human being, you are human like the rest of us.
One key to running an extremely successful online business is keeping a strict policy of HUMILITY within your company and respecting every person on every level that comes to you for help, advice, or to use your services. You have to remember that once upon a time, just like them, you too had to start somewhere on your journey. Regardless of whatever service or solution you provide, you started at the beginning just like everyone else.
It can be known for some business owners to gain a few titles under their belt and then suddenly treat people like they are on different levels, which can really deflate a person who is coming to you for help, or it’s known to happen where some coaches, professionals, and mentors will take to social media to tear down somebody who just came to them for their expert opinion (trust me I see this most day and I am really DISGUSTED with it). This is NOT how I train people to be in the world and two strong principles I teach is effective communication and to be humble in everything you do.
These are two EXTREMELY POWERFUL spiritual laws to use in your business and you reap what you sow. If you sow the seeds of great communication and humility in everything you do, the fruit you harvest at the end will be so much more rich, than the person who walks around with their nose in the air thinking they are better than anybody else.
So how can we fetch these two powerful spiritual laws into everything we do? (Did you notice how I said everything you do, not just your business?)
Here are two powerful ways to sow them powerful seeds:
1) When you communicate to people in messages, calls, Emails, social media comments, and phone calls. Ask them how their day is? Ask them what they are doing this weekend. Never open up a direct message with a direct sell. It’s slimy, it stinks and it feels like a person who wants to sleep with you on the first date.
Build relationships with people and find out how to serve them better. People are not walking ATM machines, they are REAL people with REAL problems and they are reaching out to you and placing trust into you for help. Be human in the communication and tell them about your life, family, hobbies, interests and leave them to read your website to learn about your titles. Just be a great communicator and humble in every conversation and remember what you reap, you sow.
2) Humility needs to come into every connection you have with people. Let them know your past struggles and let them know your journey to success. Share the moments you ripped your hair out, got it wrong, failed, made stupid mistakes or the bad experiences you have come back from.
If we place ourselves across as being superior then you will scare people away from you, or you will make them feel that it’s totally impossible to ever reach you and have a conversation with you. If you are expecting people to buy from you and part with their hard earned cash for YOUR services. Then you really need to be accessible to these people and not just have your assistants, assistant handle conversation with your potential clients.
And the last but definite NO-NO is EVER thinking it’s a great idea to gossip about somebody who has come to you for advice or your opinion. Keep everything private! Like I said earlier (trust me I see this most day and I am really DISGUSTED with it). I see too many people in the coaching industry pulling down others, and these people wonder why shit keeps coming around and kicks them in the ass? People watch and SEE everything you do on social media and if you are known to gossip, pull others down or decide to create drama, big clients, brands, big publishing houses, companies or sponsors won’t touch you with a 10-foot barge pole…. Just saying!
Stay humble, stay loving, stay human and everyone will love you for just being you 🙂
Have a beautiful weekend, and share this post today to help other’s learn from it too.
Nearly every day I have breakthroughs, massive breakthroughs and it wasn’t until I started digging further down the rabbit hole of spirituality that I had them.
This morning was one of them days, and why? Because of what happened yesterday that really placed a missing puzzle piece into place. Let me explain to you further so you can get a clearer picture of where I am coming from.
My childhood was far from great, in fact, it stank, it stank real bad! I experienced bullying, sexual abuse, and many experiences that a child should never experience, but I never knew where these experiences could really have a profound effect on others to help inspire and teach them and let them know that it’s possible to turn your life around and become whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do.
You see everything happens for a reason, at the time we think our bad experiences are unfair, we feel so alone or trapped and experiencing it is like living every day in a painful hell. What we don’t see is the journey ahead and the understanding of why? Why is this a part of our journey? All we see and feel is the now, and usually, in that bad experience, the now STINKS!
We can never comprehend the future because we get caught up in the “how”, but then the fog clears and the journey moves into healing and forgiveness and we let go off all the bitterness and the pain that has haunted us for so long.
From there on we move into helping others through inspiring them and letting them know that you have got through it, healed and come back from same difficulties they are having.
So, back to my breakthrough, and back to the crappy childhood that STANK! … Well, I never knew where that missing piece came in? Until yesterday when I was accepted as a mentor to teenagers! BOOM! There it was! My breakthrough all came at once! Who would have thought that the poor kid sat in class 30 years ago and bullied for wearing hand me down clothes and who came from a poor family would be the one to be called to inspire 37,000 teenagers! (YES! 37,000!)
I had to experience all that abuse, bullying, crappy experiences, poor childhood, broken homes and alcoholic parents so that I could inspire other teenagers to let them know that the other side of them dark experiences is light.
Major light, major healing, and choice of who we become because where we come from is really not the place we choose to go to in the end.
So, today I want you to consider your past experiences and understand that one day, it could be 10, 15, 20 years from now that suddenly the reason you had that experience will come to light, and you will get a greater understanding of why it happened to you.
And it’s usually God’s way of saying…. “You are now ready for the next part of the journey I created you for”.
That journey which I could not see 30 years ago, now makes sense!
I hope this blog post helps you place a missing piece together in a deeper understanding of your past experiences, and WHY? it happens.
Have a beautiful Tuesday, my friend!
I want you to consider the word LEGACY!
What does that actually mean?
1. Law. a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, by will; a bequest.
2. Anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor:
3. An applicant to or student at a school that was attended by his or her parent.
4. Obsolete. the office, function, or commission of a legate.
Too many of us are shadowed by doubt, toxic people and people trampling on our dreams. We get told we are “not good enough” or laughed at and told, “What makes you think you could do that?”… Take no notice, it’s just fear and jealousy projecting out of people who talk like that. When really they have no balls and probably can’t remember when they last looked in the mirror because they have become experts at running away from their own shit, instead of facing it like a true person would.
Only now you have chosen a different life and don’t want to retire at 65 years old with an armchair full of moth balls, a bank account that only holds $25,-30,000 to last you the next 30 YEARS! and the only things to look forward to is either re-run of soaps or chatting shit with their friends down the pub or bingo. No! you have chosen to take steps to live the life of your dreams, travel the world met amazing people and place a massive footprint on the planet in order to leave a LEGACY!
Yesterday I decided that I was going to write a book called “Letters to Rosie” or “Dear Rosie” depending which title I choose, which will be a book of letters on different subjects written to my granddaughter Rosie (or Rose Bud as I call her) I wanted to do this for her, place it on sale to the world and if it impacts even one person then AWESOME! I will be grateful that even one person even bought it!
The book will include a lot of my teachings and what I have learned on my own journey of self-discovery, spirituality, building online businesses, writing 18 best-selling books and becoming an international coach that inspires tons of people every day. However, do you notice I never said I want to write a book to be more successful? That is because my intention is not to build my platform, or be “more famous” it’s plain and simply me leaving a legacy and if it touches other people’s lives, then that is a bonus. This should be the way you are thinking! Don’t be doing this for any other reason than to place a mark in history, to place a footprint so wide on the planet that when your next generations see what you have done, it seriously inspires them to do the same.This is about LEGACY and that my friend BEATS anything else in the whole world!
Have a wonderful Tuesday, and make this day your best one yet!
Much Love & Appreciation