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The Beliefs and Affirmations that make us who we are by Trilby Johnson

The Beliefs and Affirmations that make us who we are

Written by Trilby Johnson

Our beliefs are the building blocks of our identity. As they stack together one after the other, throughout childhood and later life, they create the tapestry of our personalities and from this, the identity that we cultivate begins to take shape and form. We become what we believe, both consciously and unconsciously. On one level, this may offer insight into who we are and how we live life.  Nevertheless, very often, on a more personal and individual level, the beliefs we hold may leave us feeling a fraud or unfulfilled and very confused, with the desire to explore and experience more…

This happens when the beliefs we have been taught and are holding onto, are not our own and rather a product of socialization and indoctrination. When a belief is a good one, it can be very good and lead to positive experiences. When a belief is a bad one, it can be very bad and lead to limiting or disempowering experiences. It’s important to be aware that not all beliefs are created equal!

Many people consider that a belief is the same as the truth. A belief and what is true, are not necessarily the same thing, however a belief will certainly influence the type of experiences we have as individuals. If we think of a belief systems as a type of filter, this becomes easier to understand. In particular on a cognitive level, this distinction is important to highlight – beliefs are forms of habitual thinking that build and trigger strong neural responses.

This is one reason, that a strong belief may be difficult to challenge or change, as it is deeply embedded into a person’s behavioural patterns. Not to mention the fact that most of us have several predominant beliefs that are running the show.

In addition to this, a belief rarely stands alone and is joined with one or several other beliefs – known as associations – that weave together to create a web of belief systems. For example, if we have the belief that money is the root of all evil, this will activate a multitude of beliefs around money and what kinds of behaviours are considered good and evil. This comparative process is often subconscious and yet very powerful, which can leave many of us feeling torn in two when it comes to making choices in our daily lives and living up to our beliefs. Conflict usually arises however, when we are confronted by two or more main beliefs.

Confusion, in my opinion, is usually a signal that one or more beliefs are being challenged. This can be a good thing, when the belief being challenged is outdated or simply no longer accurate. In instances like this for example, I have found it helpful to ask targetted questions and to identify the principle belief(s) at play. Is this true for me? Is a powerful question that can offer a feeling of inner relief, clarity as well as inviting in new possibilities.

Affirmations are also a practical first step to retrain our brains and thus breaking a habit of thinking. It was the amazing and inspiring Louise Hay (1927-2017) who first introduced me to affirmations. These are statements that are formulated positively and in the present tense.  At this time in my life, I held the beliefs that I was unlovable, unloved and not good enough. This didn’t feel great at all and I really wanted to feel better about myself. Louise’s work on affirmations helped me learn how to begin to change these limiting beliefs.

I can still remember the wonder and excitement I felt at the time. I knew I was in the presence of what I wanted to hear and believe, even if at first it wasn’t quite yet comfortable. When I first begin affirming, ‘I love myself’ it was really difficult. The words sounded so strange and unfamiliar to me – it actually felt uncomfortable. I liked how saying them and writing them down made me feel about myself though and I kept on with them. Today I use affirmations intentionally to create and generate new and empowering mindset patterns and it helps me to incorporate positive and supportive beliefs that I can think throughout the day. It’s how I remind myself that I am a Conscious Creator co-creating with Life itself.

Our beliefs make us who we are, for the simple reason that we believe them. Herein lies the power and the weakness of beliefs. They can make us weak and strong, empowered and disempowered, believable or a fraud. The critical factor is to remember that although they make us, we can choose and change them. We have and are the power! We just have to believe it and then follow through to make our dreams become true.

Than you so much for reading, much love to you

Trilby xx


Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She supports forward thinking individuals to organically resolve core emotional and physical pain and blocks that may be holding them back from living happy, healthy and successful lives. Find out more at www.trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com

 

 

 

 

 

Affirmations, do they really work? – By Kim B. Smith

Article Written By Kim B. Smith

 

I am a healthy person; I am strong and focused; I am loved; I am a shining ray of beauty…

I am energetic and productive to arrive through my day!

These are just a few samples of positive affirmations, something a lot of people do not believe in. Our belief system here is what we “buy” into, what we are told to by others.

First, I would like to talk more about affirmations. To be affirmed, affirming and more.

Here is the definition:

1, The action or process of affirming something or being affirme

“He nodded in affirmation.

2,  Emotional support and encouragement.

These affirmations are powerful – they work. For me personally, they help me calm my nerves and anxiety. I take three deep breaths before stating my affirmations. However, I have clients that insist that they don’t work or that it is just too simple! Really? Why does everything have to be so neck breaking hard for us to receive love and desired results? Crazy, huh?

Affirmations need to be visible. I find placing mine in my journal helps. I write them on Post-its, and I keep them in my car, on my mirror and around my monitor of my computer. Places where I can see them and be reminded.

I let myself get creative and use sharpies and different color Post-its. At one point I used to teach a leadership class to high schoolers, we did the eliminating of negative beliefs, we taught them how to take their negative beliefs and turn them into positive, supportive ones by using the Post-it method. One of the students shared with the class that she decided to place her Post-its on her bedroom ceiling so she could see them first thing in the morning and last at night! Brilliant! We saw a shift in this young lady’s personality.

These affirmations change our beliefs about ourselves, AND THEY WORK.

Yes, affirmations work, I know this because we live in a total affirmed world. A very negative world that affirms with fear and negativity.

How many times have you been given a compliment and affirm with a negative comment? How many times do you negatively put yourself down? “I am fat, I am a loser, I am a failure.” We have all done this at one point in our lives. And we buy into this, don’t we? Aren’t these affirmations changing our beliefs?

Affirmations work, positive or negative. Humans have been walking around for years affirming things.

“I am ____________.” You chose, power-filled and positive or knock-down, fear-based, and negative. But I will tell you, they work. Affirmations have worked since the beginning of time, it’s just that we as a race have been trained to use them negatively. So changing all of this up, feels strange, abnormal, and very different. Indeed, and it will until a new routine is started for yourself.

Practice is the way to change, and practice doesn’t get you to perfection. Practice supports us and allows us to be Human.

Begin today with three positive affirmations, place them around you on your mirror, monitor and such. You got this!

Peace, Kim xx


Kim Boudreau Smith is a multi-talented CEO and business leader with a legacy of empowering thousands of women. From a corporate background in sales and marketing and over 20 years of experience in the fitness industry, Kim has gone on to become an #1 International Best-Selling Author with the book being one of the best-selling on Amazon for 2015! Kim also has become a multiple International Best-Selling Author Business Consultant and Speaker. Kim combines her expertise with a passion to motivate and inspire other women to become “top producers in their lives”. As CEO of Kim Boudreau Smith Inc.& Founder of Bold Radio Station her international speaking and consulting work has enabled thousands of women to benefit from her inspirational and empowering work. Find out more at www.kimbsmith.com

 

REAL LIFE STORY – Blindsided by Donna Davis

REAL LIFE STORY – Written by Donna Davis

He seemed so very charming. Or was it easy for me to be so distracted because my heart was recently broken in a recent break-up. Misery makes it easy for predators to ease right in. I never saw it coming.

He always had time for me. He smiled a lot and was adventurous. He seemed to know exactly what to say and when. We had fun together and things seemed great. I didn’t know he had a temper and a short fuse.

It started the night that he was teaching me how to drive. I hadn’t had the opportunity before so it seemed wonderful to have the chance to learn.  I started out doing well and then at one point drove off the curb, by accident of course, and watched him turn into a monster. He started yelling and cursing and then hit me. What?!  What’s happening?  I’m sorry it was a mistake! The car is fine. We’re fine. What’s the big deal? He later apologized and I thought it wouldn’t happen again. Unfortunately it did. Over and over again for a ten years. No rhyme or reason. Half the time I couldn’t even figure out what the trigger was. It seemed that I was living in hell.

Prior to being with him I never really knew how painful and destructive anger was. I had never experienced it. If he was angry I would get hit. If he was angry I would get punched. If he was angry I would get raped. If he was angry I would have to listen to hours of yelling and threats while I was cornered in the bathroom.  I didn’t dare question him or answer back and had no idea of how to stand up to him. Year after year it went on and on.  I would subconsciously walk on eggshells afraid of relaxing because he could “blow” at any time. We would have patches of okay existence and even some seemingly happy times and then out of nowhere I would get backhanded in the chest or punched in the head. My belief about anger became:  if someone was angry-especially a man- I was going to get hurt!  It would take me years to have this conscious awareness and several more years before I confronted the fact that this was a lie.

That experience taught me many lessons. It allowed me to see how strong I had become, even after years of feeling so weak and helpless.  I found out what forgiveness was. The surprise-and gift-of that was learning and understanding that forgiveness sets me free. It doesn’t justify what happened or excuse his role in the abuse. It allows me to move on and find peace and live life fully.

The dark memories do come to visit from time to time. I’ve learned how to deal with them.  I acknowledge that they happened and I rejoice that I’ve found a way out. It seems like so long ago now since I was able to put it all behind me.  Each day is a victory, another chance to make better choices for myself and make sure NOONE ever does those things to me again.

I sit here today listening to the Kesha song; “Praying” and smile at the thought that somewhere, somehow, perhaps he has found forgiveness for himself, and maybe has a more peaceful life. That is a wish I can send his way.

I get silent and say a prayer of thanks and ask God what to do next: I hear “Your celebration of life IS your release, IS your reward and IS your freedom.”  I dance in those thoughts with a happy heart, a smile, and a sincere hope that many who find themselves in a similar situation can one day be free as well.  There is a way out.  NEVER give up!

Thank you for reading!

Much Love

Donna xx


About Donna Davis:

As The Menopause Fairy I now help other women fine tune their lives as they discover their “A-HA MOMENTS” and discover happiness and pursue their true purpose. Over the years I have had the honor and privilege of helping women all over the world get clear on their dreams and goals while helping and supporting them as they found their balanced hormonal health and peace. Find out more at: http://themenopausefairy.com/

Five Steps To Increase Self-Esteem – By Alyssa Cruise

Article Written By Alyssa Cruise

 

When we think of self-esteem, we often see it as something that we have or do not have, rather than a way of being. We hear about having high self-esteem or low self-esteem as if there is a sliding scale of esteem that we must compare ourselves too.

In truth, self-esteem is a verb which means; the process of esteeming one’s self.

In other words, the process of boosting our self –esteem begins with us seeing the value within ourselves.

With this in mind, below are five tips to boost our self-esteem to promote a happier and healthier view of ourselves.

 

  1. Believe In Yourself

One of the first steps we must take to boost our own self-esteem is to change the way we think and feel about ourselves. This is a process that does not always happen overnight, and for the majority of the population is an ongoing journey throughout most of our lives.

When we begin to take responsibility for the way we feel, we empower ourselves. We take charge of our own self-concept which includes; our self worth, beliefs about ourselves, our talents, abilities, potential and value.

  1. Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes

The more we celebrate our past wins in life, the more belief and confidence we build within our abilities.  Sometimes people struggle to think of their successes, and therefore give up on this exercise. However, there is a way for us to contemplate our wins in a very logical and objective structure, which can help us to see how much we have all grown on our life’s journey.

How To Identify Our Successes.

Step one is to split your life into sections. This will vary depending on each of our ages, but for example, 0-15, 16-30, 30-45.

Step two, you will now choose two successes you experienced within each of these time frames.

Step three, once you have discovered six life successes go back, and continue this same pattern. You may find that before too long you have identified very long list of successes, which you can then celebrate, with great belief in yourself.

After this exercise is complete, moving forwards, we can make a weekly or even daily list of our achievements. This will allow us to see our own progression from week to week, and will ultimately increase of self-belief and self-esteem.

  1. Make Integrity a Priority

One of the best ways we can boost our own self-esteem, is to make integrity a priority. Every agreement we make with others’, we also make with ourselves. When we stick to our word, we honour our integrity. If we don’t follow through on our word, we can ultimately lose faith and even trust within ourselves. This lack of trust within causes our self-esteem to plummet. By keeping our commitments and honouring our integrity we increase our self-esteem and sense of personal power.

  1. Take Some Risks

The higher our self-esteem is, the more likely we are to take successful risks. This is not about risk taking in a ‘negative’ sense, but rather risks that lead us greater success and even happiness. When we lack belief in ourselves, we can also lack gumption and drive. This can lead us to feeling deflated and unsure of ourselves. Taking risks, however small they may seem to begin with, can really help us to develop a deep sense of self-esteem.

  1. Demonstrate Your Talents

When our self-esteem is low, we often turn to thinking negatively about ourselves and our abilities. It is important within these times that we go within and remind ourselves of the things we are truly good at, and the things we do enjoy.

For example, if you are good at sport join a local team. If you are good at painting, showcase your work. If you are good at singing, post a video online or make a professional recording for yourself, friends or family.

When we engage in the things that we do well at, we are able to grow and flourish our self-esteem in tremendous ways.

Tips breakdown;

  • Believe In Yourself
  • Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes
  • Make Integrity A Priority
  • Take Some Risks
  • Demonstrate Your Talents

Much Love,

Alyssa x


 

A Valuable Mindset by Trilby Johnson

Article Written By Trilby Johnson

“Mind what you are saying, especially about and to yourself.
Because you always tend to believe it.”
– Trilby Johnson

Mindset, is all about the stories we tell ourselves as well as what motives us when making the decisions and taking the actions we do. Our mindset consists of belief systems that we learn as children and that will inform much of our lives as adults. Beliefs are the mental building blocks we have that help us to make sense of the world around us and which many use to draw meaning about their lives from. Mindset is important because it fuels our attitudes and the way it which we respond to situations and other people and it helps us to form habits.

For much of our lives, we operate from these conscious and subconscious mindsets. Depending on the quality of the predominant mindset however, as we go through different life stages, situations and experiences, a specific mindset which may have been suitable and effective beforehand, no longer offers the most appropriate results and outcomes and may require reassessment and updating to something new.

Sounds straightforward for sure. Yet many people struggle with this. Firstly, because these mindsets are often operating on a subconscious level as well as being habitual and automatic behaviours and responses. And so whilst a person may really desire to change a specific belief and attitude, they may experience resistance. For instance, a person who lacks self-confidence may desire to feel more confident. And so they may choose to believe they are more confident and there may even be an improvement in their confidence levels  – like the ‘fake it till you make it’ slogan. This may work for a while. However, faking it will not be sustainable for very long and often the older more habitual mindset can pull them down. This is the reason that in my opinion and experience, positive affirmations can only take someone so far, before there needs to be another shift to the next level.

 

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

To experience mindset in an evergreen way, there is more to mindset than mere beliefs. They are indeed the building blocks to how we choose to function in the world. Yet humans are also sentient beings and so much of our prioritizing is based on our value system, which is the foundation of our building blocks. This aspect is often overlooked when it comes to wanting to install new belief patterns. The reason, in my experience, that there can be so much resistance is because when our values and our beliefs are not in alignment, we experience resistance and feel that we have to force or struggle in life.

Our values are a set of core principles that for the most part, subconsciously fuel the decisions and beliefs we choose across our lives and they are ranked by importance and need. Values are not our beliefs and inner tension can arise when two important values come into play and create a feeling of conflict, when it comes to making important decisions.

For instance, whether to stay in a job that is no longer satisfying and boring for security reasons and because that’s how it’s been there for years. Or go for a new job or lifestyle where it would be possible to express more creativity and independence, although it’s risking financial security. In a case like this, there may be several conflicting beliefs, feelings and circumstances that need to be managed. More often than not, a person can feel pulled in different directions and this makes choosing the correct mindset and attitude challenging. Values come from the heart and beliefs come from the head. So the challenge is finding a happy medium that makes resetting our minds easier.

To do this, prioritizing and updating our values is very important because situations and options are changing all the time, as we grow and expand. Here’s an example! A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be happier and healthier and release the struggle that seem to always appear. So I sat down and did an evaluation and prioritization of my values. One of my top three priorities was ‘security’. Imagine my astonishment when I realized that happiness and health were not even in my top 10! So I had to shift my beliefs around ‘being safe’ and looking at ‘happiness and health’ in a new way. This change in priorities and values, helped me shift my thinking and establish a new mindset, that incorporated all of these values.

Here is a short exercise to help identify your top 10 core values are:
Sit down and write down the first things that come to mind that are important to you in your life. (If you need examples of values, just google values to find lists to draw from.)

  1. Rank them from 1 to 10 with 1 being the most important and 10 the least.
  2. Then ask yourself if these are still valid for you?
  3. Are these values truly your own?
  4. When sorted, ask if there are any ‘new’ values that you wish to add? Add and rank them.
  5. Reflect on what has come up and also write down any of the beliefs that may have popped up. For example, health depends on genetic make-up; or if I am happy people will think I am selfish etc.
  6. If the values identified are not in your top 10, I invite you to add them in. Then sit back and watch what shows up.
  7. Repeat often.

Actively participating in setting our values, helps to prioritize and activate them in both the conscious and subconscious mind. This dynamic is what fuels a powerful and positive intention, attitude and mindset. Having a valuable mindset, requires adding value to our lives and ensuring that we choose beliefs that will serve us best as we grow and expand and enjoy our daily lives.

p.s. Would you like a great resource of original inspiration to support shifting your mindset? My book ‘A-Ha Moments’ is available online and will support you in having your own a-ha moments ->http://www.amazon.com/dp/1502576678/beyuwebe-20

 

Much Love, Trilby

p.s. Would you like a great resource of original inspiration to support shifting your thinking? My book ‘A-Ha Moments’ is available online and will support you in having your own a-ha moments.


Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She supports conscious and forward-thinking individuals to move from pain to resolution by resolving the core imbalances that destabilize and limit them, leaving them stuck in the muck of trauma and pain. When they connect the essence of who they truly are, they realize and align with their full potential and live happy, healthy and successful lives, on their own terms.

 

Website : http://www.trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com
Email: info@trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com

 

Let Your Light Shine!

Article Written By Wendy Hutchinson

 

Our beliefs shape every aspect of our lives. They drive who we associate with, what types of jobs we pursue, the level of education we receive and the stories we tell ourselves (mostly untrue) about who we are and where we belong in our social paradigm.   Our beliefs determine whether we kneel and pray five times a day, or walk into Church on certain days of the week, they create joy or sorrow. Our core beliefs are often formed by people other than ourselves.  Our family plays a huge role in shaping our story, as they are the people we spend most of our lives with.   Despite what you believe, let me say that you are loved.   You are worthy of love. You have all the tools, the intellect and the strength to transcend your current circumstances.   Why are you allowing the opinions of the few to determine your value and worth?  Much of what we are taught to believe about ourselves is only a reflection and projection of the people around us.  We carry these beliefs well into adulthood leaving many of us feeling like we can’t possibly rise from the ashes.   It is this slow erosion of the self that leaves us feeling vulnerable and wounded.

Our core beliefs shape the very essence of who we are. In our darkest moments, we believe we can never be whole.  There are times when we feel completely broken.  How many dreams have been crushed based on our story about our worthiness? The truth, the beauty of who we are at a soul level is completely shattered by ideas we have been spoon fed our entire life by the people around us, a reflection of the fears and insecurities of our spouse, our friends, and family.  Their opinions have been internalized by us dimming our beautiful light. This isn’t who you really are.  How did you manage to stray so far from your authentic self and how do you return?

The time is now to step away from beliefs and stories that no longer serve you.  Your soul is waiting for you to reclaim her, but it requires taking a leap of faith.  Finding your way back to your beautiful self comes through reflection and intention.   It requires stepping away from old programming. You are not your thoughts.  Those are merely constructs of the mind that hold no power until you attach emotion to them. Thoughts can be dismissed and released when you recognize you can choose whether to give them power or not.  We carry our suffering like heavy weights and chains.  It is time to unshackle ourselves and drop all those burdens into the river and watch them wash away.  Lighten your load.  We are the architects of our lives. Over the course of time, we’ve allowed bad relationships, a lack of self-esteem, and the repeated message that we aren’t enough to dull our shine.  You hold a power far greater than you realize.   Once you master your mind, you set yourself free to be the sovereign being you were born to be.   Slight shifts in the way you think about and relate to yourself will place your life on a completely different trajectory.   Positive mantras and affirmations create small cracks in the armor where the light can shine through.  There is a beautiful part of you that deserves to be seen, denying it, deprives everyone you meet of your gifts and talents.  It is time to let your light shine!

Affirmations are powerful because they create a new pathway for thinking. You can literally retrain your brain to move in a positive direction by repeating your affirmations every day, journaling about your feelings, or taping those empowering statements to your mirror or on your desk where you can see them as a reminder of who you really are.  Somewhere in the hustle we have lost ourselves and it’s time to find our way back.   The time is now to focus on creating a life full of joy, opportunity, and bliss.  It is time to stop merely existing and begin thriving.  Many people continue playing the victim card, making excuses as to why change is impossible.  Empowerment creates a different energy.  When you take control of your life, it creates change by allowing you to think, do, and be something different.  Release the fear about the outcome.  Remaining in the exact same place mentally, running the same disempowered tape in your mind will continue to result in the same exact outcome. Nothing will change until you decide to rewrite the story and create new core beliefs based on truth.

Rather than remain stuck in the same thought patterns, shift the paradigm. Recognize the difference between truth and fear.  If fear has you running scared and settling for less than you deserve, it’s time to begin putting the shattered pieces of your life back together.  Find something that makes you happy and do it.  Take a class, take a walk, pick up a paintbrush.  The only person who knows the right path to follow is you!  Trust yourself.  Listen to your heart.  It has been trying desperately to get your attention.   Slowly, you will begin creating the foundation for a new life.  Take one small step at a time to come more fully into alignment with yourself.  As you find your voice, as you begin to follow your compass, you will become more empowered. As you become empowered, you will begin to ignite forgotten dreams.  As you allow those dreams to take hold and take the next step, you will create momentum.  Sometimes we travel through darkness to shine the light for others.  All is not lost, it is never too late to walk the path back to your magnificent self.

Much Love,

Wendy xx


Wendy Hutchinson

Alinea Life Coaching

www.alinealifecoaching.com

619-246-5948