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Five Steps To Increase Self-Esteem – By Alyssa Cruise

Article Written By Alyssa Cruise

 

When we think of self-esteem, we often see it as something that we have or do not have, rather than a way of being. We hear about having high self-esteem or low self-esteem as if there is a sliding scale of esteem that we must compare ourselves too.

In truth, self-esteem is a verb which means; the process of esteeming one’s self.

In other words, the process of boosting our self –esteem begins with us seeing the value within ourselves.

With this in mind, below are five tips to boost our self-esteem to promote a happier and healthier view of ourselves.

 

  1. Believe In Yourself

One of the first steps we must take to boost our own self-esteem is to change the way we think and feel about ourselves. This is a process that does not always happen overnight, and for the majority of the population is an ongoing journey throughout most of our lives.

When we begin to take responsibility for the way we feel, we empower ourselves. We take charge of our own self-concept which includes; our self worth, beliefs about ourselves, our talents, abilities, potential and value.

  1. Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes

The more we celebrate our past wins in life, the more belief and confidence we build within our abilities.  Sometimes people struggle to think of their successes, and therefore give up on this exercise. However, there is a way for us to contemplate our wins in a very logical and objective structure, which can help us to see how much we have all grown on our life’s journey.

How To Identify Our Successes.

Step one is to split your life into sections. This will vary depending on each of our ages, but for example, 0-15, 16-30, 30-45.

Step two, you will now choose two successes you experienced within each of these time frames.

Step three, once you have discovered six life successes go back, and continue this same pattern. You may find that before too long you have identified very long list of successes, which you can then celebrate, with great belief in yourself.

After this exercise is complete, moving forwards, we can make a weekly or even daily list of our achievements. This will allow us to see our own progression from week to week, and will ultimately increase of self-belief and self-esteem.

  1. Make Integrity a Priority

One of the best ways we can boost our own self-esteem, is to make integrity a priority. Every agreement we make with others’, we also make with ourselves. When we stick to our word, we honour our integrity. If we don’t follow through on our word, we can ultimately lose faith and even trust within ourselves. This lack of trust within causes our self-esteem to plummet. By keeping our commitments and honouring our integrity we increase our self-esteem and sense of personal power.

  1. Take Some Risks

The higher our self-esteem is, the more likely we are to take successful risks. This is not about risk taking in a ‘negative’ sense, but rather risks that lead us greater success and even happiness. When we lack belief in ourselves, we can also lack gumption and drive. This can lead us to feeling deflated and unsure of ourselves. Taking risks, however small they may seem to begin with, can really help us to develop a deep sense of self-esteem.

  1. Demonstrate Your Talents

When our self-esteem is low, we often turn to thinking negatively about ourselves and our abilities. It is important within these times that we go within and remind ourselves of the things we are truly good at, and the things we do enjoy.

For example, if you are good at sport join a local team. If you are good at painting, showcase your work. If you are good at singing, post a video online or make a professional recording for yourself, friends or family.

When we engage in the things that we do well at, we are able to grow and flourish our self-esteem in tremendous ways.

Tips breakdown;

  • Believe In Yourself
  • Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes
  • Make Integrity A Priority
  • Take Some Risks
  • Demonstrate Your Talents

Much Love,

Alyssa x


 

SELF-ESTEEM

Written By Doneane Beckcom

When people meet me for the first time and learn about who I am, what all I do, and my many accomplishments, they have no idea that I ever struggled with self-esteem, stemming from being bullied from middle school all the way through college. My parents were wonderful at instilling in me the drive to succeed and that I could do anything I set my mind to; however, being bullied by people who were supposed to be my friends tore me down and made me feel self-conscious of my physical appearance.

I was one of those girls who was a very late bloomer. I shot up to 5’7” at about age 12, but I only weighed about 80 pounds and had no shape whatsoever. I towered over both the girls and boys from 6th grade until about 8th grade when they all started to catch up. But, when all of my girlfriends were starting to look more like women, I looked like a tall, skinny little boy. Even into high school, I still was thin and had no womanly curves whatsoever. Even my girlfriends made fun of me (I remember my best friend at the time telling me “something is wrong with you!”), and of course as the boys’ thoughts turned sexual, many of them chimed in also. This followed me all the way through my senior year in college, when it was mostly the young men who continued to taunt me. The last football season of my college years, when I was proud and honored to be the very first female Drum Major of our famed marching band, the band fraternity got together and bought me a big pair of fake plastic boobs and unveiled them after half time at the last game. I was mortified. I was a good sport though, and donned them as I conducted the fight song one last time. Whomever has pictures of this debacle I sure hope they have burned them by now!

When I left college and moved away, the feeling of looking inadequate as a young woman still haunted me, even though I was no longer being teased and bullied by anyone. I found out that I had some hormonal issues and suffered from fibrocystic breast disease, which had affected the growth of breast tissue and caused reproductive issues for me. After some treatment with medications, I opted to have a surgical procedure which removed about half of the breast tissue I had at the time (which was not much, I was not even an A cup at the time) and replaced it with implants. Of course, because of having been teased for so many years, I opted to have larger implants so that I would look “normal.” It was nothing drastic, I had a wonderful reconstructive surgeon who understood my concerns and made me look proportional and natural (I ended up as a small C cup which was perfect for my frame). I was finally happy with the way I looked and no longer concerned that anyone would tease me about my chest.

That surgery was 30 years ago. But when I think back on the people who taunted me and the things that were said, it is as if it was yesterday. Although it was partially medically necessary, it was also mental and cosmetic for me. And it is a shame that I had to feel that way about my appearance based on what other people said and did. And out of all of the many people who participated in the teasing through the years, only one of them ever apologized. It was a college guy, he was friends with my boyfriend at that time (who did not step up to defend me when his “brothers” taunted me, and yes I kicked him to the curb quickly!) and he tearfully confessed how horrible he felt for the things he had done and said to me and asked for forgiveness. Of course I accepted his apology and forgave him, but what about all those others who said and did awful things? Do they ever think about the 12-year-old girl or young college-aged woman they teased and how it made her feel? Were they bullied also and that is why they lashed out at me? These are things that I still ponder on occasion, especially when I hear about a young woman or man harming themselves because of being bullied. My daughter lost a close friend to suicide when they were only 13 years old, he had been bullied by other boys in the locker room and killed himself when he lost hope that no one would make them stop. He is only one of many that we hear about all over the world who lose hope because of being bullied.

So what is the take away here? First, if you have been bullied and your self esteem has been trampled upon, know that it is not your fault. Seek help from a trusted friend or a counselor if you cannot shake the feelings of inadequacy that bullying can manifest in your thoughts. Next, if you are a parent of a young child, start early in not only uplifting them, but also teaching them not to tease others and to tell an adult if they know someone is being teased or bullied. Innocent teasing can hurt just as bad as intentional bullying. Had my parents not been so supportive and uplifting of me, always assuring me that I was beautiful and smart and could do anything, I cannot imagine how things may have been different. Last and most important, if you suspect or know that your child (or a friend of your child) has been bullied, step in! Get to the bottom of it, request a meeting with teacher, counselor, parent of the bully, anyone and everyone in order to stop and correct the behavior. Some children may not reach out to a parent or other adult, but may reach out to your child, so if your child tells you about another child being bullied, please step in. You may be the only adult who does anything about it and prevents tragedy from happening.

Self esteem can be fragile. Handle with care, always, whether it is yours or that of someone else. Once damaged, it can be very difficult to repair and may take years to overcome the pain. Even those of us who appear strong and like we “have it all together” on the outside can still be the hurt and scared child who was bullied years ago.

Thank you so much for reading, much love

Doneane Beckcom
CEO, Bold Radio Station
Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist
Fitness Nutrition Consulting, LLC

How to place More Gratitude in Your Daily Life!

Gratitude:

Gratitude– thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation is a feeling, from the heart or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive”.

Gratitude is one of the most important feelings which you need to devlop on a self-discovery journey. If you learn how to use more gratitude for the things that you already have in your life then you will notice more good things come your way. Gratitude operates through a universal law that governs your whole life.

Gratitude is the highest expression of love that we can give in this world.

If we go back through time and notice the sayings of all the great people who lived.

For example; Albert Einstein, Wallace Wattles, Beethoven and Napoleon Hill and many, many more have said that gratitude brings you much more. Albert Einstein, who was the greatest scientist who ever lived spoke of giving thanks 100 times each day in order to receive everything that the heart desires.

“100 times every day. I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labours of other men, living and dead, and I must extend myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and I am still receiving”

                                                                                       ~Albert Einstein.

 

“People who can sincerely be thankful for things which they own in imagination have real faith. They will cause the creation of whatever they want”.

                                                                                 ~Wallace Wattles.

 

If you learn to use gratitude and be grateful for the circumstances that you have now and learn to use gratitude more in your life on a daily basis. You will be truly amazed by how much you receive back.

Your very first exercise will help you bring more gratitude into your life. It will help you be more grateful for things you have in your life now. Then with a little patience and continuous use of this exercise each day you will notice a difference within 90 days.

Your gratitude levels will be at a whole new level, and so will your life too!

It’s exactly how I started out on my journey and I still use it today to remind me of all the things I am thankful for.

The reason using more gratitude works in your life is because when you express gratitude for what you already have you are then putting yourself in the frame of mind that is of joy and expectancy. You are now focusing on what you have, rather than what it is you don’t have. This is then sending out the message to the universe that what you have already is a lot and in return the same energy is then returned back to you.

Which then results in you receiving more!

When you are sending out the thoughts and feelings of being un-grateful the law of attraction will just keep returning what you already have. So use this to your advantage and send out the right energy to receive the right energy back.

“I am always grateful for all that I have in my live. I have a magnificent home. I have a tremendous wife… I love spending time with my family, and I absolutely love what I do in my business every day. I HAVE the best and much to my surprise it keeps getting better”.

 “BUT the point is I was not grateful when I had no home, no wife, no family and no business. You see it doesn’t matter where you are in life. There’s a reason right now to express gratitude”.

“So do it now. Get into the habit of it. Write your gratitude list every night, or say it out loud in the shower every morning. You’ll notice in just a matter of days how long that list begins to grow- and what change in attitude it creates for you… and that’s where the attraction finds its way to you”

                                                                ~Jack Canfield

Grab yourself a piece of paper and a pen, or purchase yourself a special gratitude journel and do the following exercise daily:

 Fill in the blanks with your own statements and continue to do this exercise for at least 90 days. If you really want to increase the magic of this exercise then write this list out each day in a journal.

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful that I have _______

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful for ________

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful that I have ___________

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful for ___________

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful that I have _________

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful for ___________

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful because ___________

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful now that ____________

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful to be blessed with ___________

 

  1. I am so happy and grateful for ___________

This is a powerful exercise that will result in fetching more gratitiude to your life. I remember the day it hit me like a piece of wood a round the back of my head. I was stood in a beautiful garden and sudden from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head I felt a powerful rush of appreciation run through me. Tears pricked my eyes has I looked around the garden and suddenly had an imense feeling of love and joy for my life.

It is by far one of the most powerful exercises I have ever used in my life, and I hope by sharing it with you that it has the same effect on your life too.

Here’s to a fully appreciated life!

Much Love & Appreciation

Kate xx

Oh, How Far I Have Come!

 

 

The past 7 days have been really extreme for me to say the least! You know when you have them moments of “Oh my gosh! Look how far I have come” moments?

Well, that was me this week. I watched a real life drama that told the story of a young woman who was beaten to death by her boyfriend while her 3-year-old daughter watched. This really placed me back to where I was 7 years ago, and how freaking LUCKY I am to be alive today!

I was in an abusive relationship in my early 30’s, which nearly cost me my life. The stress of that relationship caused me to develop anxiety disorder, which resulted from me in having huge panic attacks—one panic attack resulted in a stroke, which paralysed the right side of my body for two months afterwards. So to sit there and watch another person’s story and the fact she never made it out alive was EXTREME! I had a moment where I was shocked that I had come this far and was still alive.

Watching another person’s story took me back to the times when my ex would come home from the pub and sit at the end of my bed for two hours and give me of verbal torture, then he would then fall asleep into a beer coma next to me until morning. There were many times when I woke up in the morning wet through because he had wet the bed at the side of me. He would drink so much that he wouldn’t even get up to go to the bathroom, and just lay there and peed himself instead. One evening, when I suggested that he should slow down with his drinking because I was afraid he may have a drinking problem, he launched across the room and grabbed me by the neck and pushed my back up against the wall. He started squeezing my throat tighter and tighter and I panicked, thinking he was going to kill me. Finally, he slackened his grip and I fell to the floor, gasping for breath.

The ladies story took me back to my own, and the next morning I cried my eyes out. Not because I was upset, or because my life is bad in any way. I cried with massive appreciation in my heart that I now live with one amazing, loving man who will be my husband in only 10 weeks time. That I have a business that I love and a family that is so beautiful and precious in every way. I cried because I had completely changed my life around from the life I had only 7 and the half years ago!

I cried because I am so lucky compared to so many people in relationships who aren’t so lucky. The ones that don’t make it to even write a blog like this to share with you because their partner took their life. Having this huge awakening this week completely knocked me for six and I had to take time out for me to process all of this. Plus, yet another terrible incident happening in London this week where a whole tower block of people lost their homes, lost their loved ones and had to stand there and watch everything their own go up in flames.

All this and starting my new college course in addiction counselling and starting with my new coach was so much to take in and process all in one week. So when there is a lot to process it only means one thing for me. Take 5, process it all, recharge and then come back ready to face the world like a lion once more. If you don’t give yourself process time then your brain will overload and you could end up completely drained.

We always have to remember we are only human and breakthroughs, learning and situations in the world can have a massive impact upon you. And that’s ok, but just be honest with yourself and notice when you do need to process, and respect yourself enough time to allow that process to happen.

If I was to pretend to you that shit never happened to me, or that I didn’t need time to process all that has hit me in one week, wouldn’t I be really bullshitting you? I would be setting a fake stage by saying “Growth is easy” … Mmmmm no it isn’t! It’s far from freaking easy, and your followers will appreciate you so much more if you actually admit it!

So this is my confession list to you today:

  • I cried this week because I am lucky to have all abusive relationships behind me and be still alive.
    I have a new and amazing coach and she taught me more in one week than I learnt in 2 years!
    The London tower fire made my heart heavy for those who have lost everything.
    I am a college student working towards a Diploma in Addiction coaching and loving it!
    I brought Matthew (future husband) to tears with his father’s day gift.
    I am a human being and needed the time out yesterday to process everything from this week.
    I am really really really appreciative of my life and YOU.

It’s been one heck of a journey to get here today, but I wouldn’t change any part of it. I will continue on this journey of growing The Missing Piece Magazine so that people like myself on a growth journey can have access to a powerful tool for FREE! So that they have to hand everything they need to work through them moments of processing. So they too don’t feel completely blinded by all the “perfection” that is placed before them in the world.

It can be so easy to follow somebody who makes it all look easy, who really does not tell you half of what they actually go through behind the scenes and to me that’s just complete rubbish and setting a fake high standard that you will never in a million years reach, or die trying. Growth is far from easy, it’s just freaking worth it!

This journey is never about how far you have yet to go, it’s about how far you have come already. Every other day from here on is just another bonus of you going further. As we go into the weekend take time for yourself and your own processing of this week. Tomorrow is the release of issue 6 of The Missing Piece Magazine and in this month’s issue, we are looking at The Laws of the Universe. what are they? Who wrote them? What are they all about? Do they work? and so much more will be answered inside with powerful articles and interactive video articles.

This is your chance to process some of the powerful knowledge in this month’s issue from all our 30 coaches and Plus an Exclusive Interview with our cover guy Mark Baker and so much more. Place your name and email address in the sign-up box below and issue 6 will be delivered straight to your inbox tomorrow.

So, until next time have a wonderful weekend and make this day your best day yet!

Kate xx

Legacy Beats Cash & Success Anyday!

I want you to consider the word LEGACY!

What does that actually mean?

Legacy: noun, plural legacies. (courtesy of www.dictionary.com)

1. Law. a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, by will; a bequest.

2. Anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor:

3. An applicant to or student at a school that was attended by his or her parent.

4. Obsolete. the office, function, or commission of a legate.

You have probably noticed that I highlighted number 2 there, right? That is because that is EXACTLY what your journey should be about. This whole journey of the desire of wanting something big in life! Wanting your life to mean something, wanting to leave a mark on the world. It should be for the reason of LEGACY and to leave something for the next generation to be inspired with.

Too many of us are shadowed by doubt, toxic people and people trampling on our dreams. We get told we are “not good enough” or laughed at and told, “What makes you think you could do that?”… Take no notice, it’s just fear and jealousy projecting out of people who talk like that. When really they have no balls and probably can’t remember when they last looked in the mirror because they have become experts at running away from their own shit, instead of facing it like a true person would.

Only now you have chosen a different life and don’t want to retire at 65 years old with an armchair full of moth balls, a bank account that only holds $25,-30,000 to last you the next 30 YEARS! and the only things to look forward to is either re-run of soaps or chatting shit with their friends down the pub or bingo. No! you have chosen to take steps to live the life of your dreams, travel the world met amazing people and place a massive footprint on the planet in order to leave a LEGACY!

Now that you know that life does not need to be this way, you are on a mission to document it. So that least if you do get run over by a bus tomorrow, or your next generation does not exist yet, (or like my granddaughter) does not know how to read yet, at least you have placed it down somewhere for someone to read so that you can teach them about having a choice in life. That life is a choice! Which is the important part of what needs leaving in that legacy It needs to prove that life does not have to be boring, life can be EXACTLY how you want it to be. That you are the author of your own life and it’s up to you to start writing out each chapter to how you want it to be.

Yesterday I decided that I was going to write a book called “Letters to Rosie” or “Dear Rosie” depending which title I choose, which will be a book of letters on different subjects written to my granddaughter Rosie (or Rose Bud as I call her) I wanted to do this for her, place it on sale to the world and if it impacts even one person then AWESOME! I will be grateful that even one person even bought it!

The book will include a lot of my teachings and what I have learned on my own journey of self-discovery, spirituality, building online businesses, writing 18 best-selling books and becoming an international coach that inspires tons of people every day. However, do you notice I never said I want to write a book to be more successful? That is because my intention is not to build my platform, or be “more famous” it’s plain and simply me leaving a legacy and if it touches other people’s lives, then that is a bonus. This should be the way you are thinking! Don’t be doing this for any other reason than to place a mark in history, to place a footprint so wide on the planet that when your next generations see what you have done, it seriously inspires them to do the same.This is about LEGACY and that my friend BEATS anything else in the whole world!

Have a wonderful Tuesday, and make this day your best one yet!

Much Love & Appreciation

 

Kate xx

P.S) Give it 25 years and watch a young lady called Rosie Marsh take the world by storm, because her grandmother left her everything she needed to take control of her life in one book 🙂
 
 

If You Try & Sell to Me On First Contact, You Lose Me!

Let’s talk about dating for a second, yes! Dating!

Now you are thinking what the heck has dating got to do with selling Kate? … Stay the course and read the blog and you will find out I promise. Selling has got a lot to do with dating and it’s something that when approached in the right manner, can lead to happily ever after!

Ok, so say I take you out on a date and meet you in a bar, I buy you a drink and within minutes I am pestering you to sleep with me, I don’t care what your surname is or what you had for breakfast, I just want to take you back to my place, have sex with you and throw you out the door because I had my way and now am done with you.

Now how do you feel?

Used? You call me ever name under the sun? Violated? Like you were just my conquest?

Now let me put it another way:

I take you out on a date and meet you in a restaurant, we have an amazing night and I listen to you and we have a great conversation and many laughs. At the end of the night I walk you back home and kiss you on the cheek and say “Thank you for an amazing night, may I see you again?”… From there we date for another month and start to see we really do like each other and decide to pursue our relationship further. So we make “the night” of getting to know each other extra special and when I wake next to you the very next day, the whole journey feels like it was “meant to be”.  12 months later we decide to move in together, 5 years later we are married with a child on the way. Life is truly amazing!

So again what does this have to do with sales?

So many people are trying to sell on the first contact by using the first scenario I placed above and it’s really not working anymore in the world we live in. Business is strongly developed on the foundations of relationships.

The way we sell now is completely different to the way we did it in the 80’s & 90’s because of how technology and social media have shaped and formed the way we do business. Gone are the days of cold calling and trying to get cash out of people’s pockets on the “first date”. You are living in a mobile industry and people are now communicating more than ever through technology and social media platforms.

It is up to you the business owner to really learn how to sell well through social media channels and learn how to do it RIGHT! Nobody likes a slim ball that is trying to make a sale on the initial contact. People like to buy, but hate to be sold too and if you are more bothered about them opening their wallets, then actually building a relationship that can go on to be a wonderful and truly amazing client-business relationship for many many years, then you heading for instant turn down my friend.

How about on the first initial contact you just be yourself uh? Start a conversation and get to know each other first and then have a few more conversations. Let people follow you and deliver them great content that helps them get out of a rut or that can be used instantly to gain results before their very eyes. Inspire them, motivate them with great quotes and images that YOU made yourself and apply your own wisdom too. Reply IN PERSON to your social media messages and comments so that you BUILD a relationship with people that follow you.

Leave them to decide if they like you and leave them to decide if they want to buy from you. So many business owners try too hard to sell to people, when really if you just be patient and enjoy the relationship building part, you could actually result in having clients for years to come.

It will be a “marriage” made in heaven, and all because you did it right in the first place.

I hope this powerful tip helps you today on your journey to building your business.

Have a wonderful weekend and make Friday your best day yet!

Much love

Kate xx

Don’t Like Hearing The Truth? Then Don’t Speak to Me!

Every day and I mean every day! I receive messages from people all over the world.

So many people needing help, wanting to succeed and asking for my advice. How can I make this happen? how can I get through this? Can you help me? I am reaching out to you for help, I was wondering if you can help me?

And you know what 98% of these people don’t like? …My honesty! In fact, they despise it that much they come back at me with a defensive message or totally ignore me altogether. You see truth HURTS! It hurts so bad that we have to accept that the position we are in is not serving us very well at that moment in time.

Human beings have a tendency to 1) not ask for help and 2) When we do learn to ask we then have to learn to ACCEPT. Because what comes after asking maybe something we don’t wish to hear. When you ask, you receive, so working on them acceptance levels if you wish to ask in the first place is a MUST!

Don’t come to me if you are not prepared to hear the truth. There is most likely 100’s of people out there that will take your money off you, kiss your butt for doing so and place you on a program that will either become shelve-help or leave you still wondering why you have not got any further to your dreams 6 months later?

Not on my watch! I give you the blunt truth and say it how it is because I don’t have time to fanny dance around with people who are not serious about making a change in the world. If you want your butt wiping, then maybe am not the coach/teacher for you. I only work with truth warriors that are willing and prepared to work from their WHY with extreme passion and want for change and will implement what I teach them and they will gain results through applying what I teach them.

However, before I even consider working with anyone you first have to pass the first test to even get any further with me, and you want to know what that test is?

I watch how well you handle the truth in our first conversation. I watch how you react and see how well you accept the truth, to begin with, and that tells me everything. Your emotions and reactions tell me everything! How well you can accept and how well you communicate your help in the first place. When you are a trained psychologist and Life Coach, you cannot help BUT analyze human behavior science. There is always behavior patterns and after over 12 years of studying psychology, mindset and Life Coaching I have had many many years of understanding why people act the way they do.

Yet still one thing remains in behavior, and that is people are not great at accepting the truth. Have a think as you go forward on your journey today how you react when somebody tells you the truth about something?

Check in with yourself and become aware of how you are acting? Are you getting defensive as soon as the truth is told? Are you? Then maybe it’s time to work more on your acceptance levels.

Or,

Do you accept truth humbly and then thank the person for their advice and feedback? You do? Congratulations, you will go really far in this life for asking and being willing to accept, now it’s up to you to go away and implement that truth in order for you to gain results.

It all starts with truth, and if you can’t accept it, then please don’t ask me for it in the first place.

A deep and powerful thoughts for you to ponder over this Thursday,

Have a wonderful rest of your week, I can see the weekend and more house decorating from here….. Sighhhh 🙂

Big hugs,

Kate xx

When Taking The Road to One Dream Becomes Another!

Have you ever took the road to one dream and it becomes another?

Well, here’s what happened in my world in the past 72 hours. As you know, I was all packed and ready to move 200 miles away to a new home and start a new life over. This is because my partner’s work can basically take us anywhere in the UK.

Anyway, back to me all packed and ready to go, so then Matthew receives a phone call to say his next contract is in exactly the same city as before. So, there is me with all my house packed up, nearly all my furniture sold, given away and I am ready to start all over again.

Which basically means we are not going anywhere! And we have to stay for him to work this new contract, which could be for a very long time yet. Well, I stood in the hallway and my chin hit the floor! Why had I been put through this entire motion and what was God trying to teach me by placing me in this experience?

Within the next 24 hour’s it felt like I had been hit around the back of the head with a piece of wood. The clarity of this purpose all became so clear. I thought maybe by sharing this with you could help you on your own journey.

The reason I had been placed through this journey is because I couldn’t see what was right in front of me in the first place. I had so much emotion connections going on with all my previous material stuff that it was clouding my judgement of the present. You would be so surprised how much emotional connections we have with anything material like furniture from our past that maybe an ex-partner bought you, or something that once upon a time you may have borrowed the cash to buy, and the person you borrowed from keeps reminding you every year that if it was not for them 6 years ago you wouldn’t have had “it” in the first place.

When me and my partner of 5 and half years, Matthew, met each other he moved in with me. He moved into my home, with my material stuff, my furniture and everything else was basically mine. The things that I had purchased and accumulated over the years. So, with this, there was so much emotion connected to this stuff over the years and resentment attached to some of it. I couldn’t see clearly what was right in front of me!

So, what WAS right in front of me?

Right in front of me was a house that I can buy at 35% discount of the actual market price. That I could buy, do up beautifully and sell with making a massive profit which would enable me to go buy my dream home 200 miles away from where I was going to move in the first place.

So what was the lesson here?

The lesson was I had to go through the process of thinking I was moving in the first place, have Matthew’s first contract end, give away or sell the majority of my stuff, and go full circle to see what I didn’t see before and to have my eyes awakened to what was right in front of me all along. Why? Because sometimes God moves in ways that sometimes are drastic to make you SEE and to make you LEARN!

You refuse to let the little things cloud your judgement, so he WILL make you see it another way. Sometimes them ways are drastic, but boy! do they work!

48 hours after gaining all this clarity,  I booked a flight to the USA for 3 weeks during the summer time.

Why? Because if I have to place one dream on hold a bit longer because I really couldn’t see the WHY behind it, then am certainly NOT placing my dream of getting married in America off no longer…So it’s  now BOOKED!!! I fly out this year, and marry the love of my life and what’s even more special? My best friend Kim is going to marry us! She is conducting the ceremony.

And the almost empty house? Is now getting a makeover with new furniture and going to be our first house project and first step up on the property ladder as property developers like we had planned many years ago to do. This whole learning experience more than makes up for having to scramble through boxes to find stuff.

How about that for setting out on a road to a dream and then resulting in a completely different one?

You couldn’t make this journey up if you tried!

Have a beautiful Tuesday morning, and see you on Facebook live tomorrow!

Until then, I have unpacking to do 🙂

Much love & appreciation

Kate xx

 

 

You Are Being Refined, So Deal With It!

Refining is something that is impossible to ignore on your journey. Even if you hide under the table for the next 20 years, the refining process will seek you out and come looking for you! There is no escape!

What is refining?

Dictionary meaning: Refined, Refining:
1. to bring to a fine or a pure state; free from impurities:
to refine metal, sugar, or petroleum.
2. to purify from what is coarse, vulgar, or debasing; make elegant or cultured.
3. to bring to a finer state or form by purifying.

The refining process is placing you through major tough experiences to toughen you up for what’s coming ahead. To see if you are able, ready and willing to take the responsibility of what you yet cannot see. When a precious metal is refined, it’s first stuck into the burner to take out all impurities to enable it to be made elegant enough to showcase on your neck, wrist or finger. Only, it does not go through the refine process once, it goes through the refine process as many times as it takes to make it pure and ready to shine.

This refining process applies to you my friend and there is NO getting away from it. Your creator (to me God) will hunt you down, find you and make sure you experience this refinement. He wants to know if you are ready for the plan ahead he has ahead for you and he wants to know if you are ready to pull up your big girl/boy pants and take what is coming right on the end of your chin.

Believe me, I know only too well myself, that you can hide, but you will be sought out and have to face things that you were not aware of previously. This whole journey of self-discovery brings a brand new lesson every single day, and I have learnt to accept the refining process because I know he is testing me! That something is way huge that is about to happen and if I don’t keep one foot in front of the other during that refining process, and keep moving, he will consider me not ready and take it away, fast.

Have you not ever wondered why you have moments where everything is going so great and then suddenly BOOM! Everything feels like it goes tits up? Then you are in the centre of an experience that you are trying to wrap your head around? This is the refining process. Right in the middle of the storm is where he is watching how you react to that situation and how you face it.

Now, if you face this refining process with all your might, stay dedicated to your commitments no matter what, cut all excuses and face the whole thing head with diligent hands and work from a place of excellence. You will come out the other end all shiny and new and ready to be showcased to the world. What he had in store for you will happen, you will have matured what feels like 30 years, and you will have mass breakthroughs and understanding spiritual laws.

And if you don’t? Well, that’s the part you get placed back at the beginning again, and everything taken off you until you start to go forward with them diligent hands and knowledge of what happens when you don’t play by the rules.

So what advice is this blog giving you today?

That no matter how bad a situation is in your life, just know it is because you have been created for a huge purpose. The journey is not going to be easy and you will be placed through the crap, a lot of crap. However, it’s in them crappy moments that you are being watched to see if you are ready for the next stage of responsibility that is about to be placed upon your shoulders. How you carry out your choices in the situation will dictate your overall outcome.

Are you fed up of getting picked up, losing everything and getting put back at square one? If so, then do start to accept the refining process and do start to keep in mind that if you don’t stay dedicated to your commitments no matter what, cut all excuses and face the whole thing head with diligent hands and work from a place of excellence. Then you are certainly not ready for the next stage of success.

I will leave you with that powerful thought today,

Have a much blessed weekend and do check out issue two of The Missing Piece Magazine. Issue 2 takes you on a journey of forgiveness and teaches how placing more forgiveness in your life can help YOU move forward faster and with less stress and dissolve many bad feelings from the past.

Until next time, have a wonderful weekend,


Love From Kate xx

In 2017 I Won’t Have Any Furniture and That ROCKS!

My journey to detachment has been an interesting one so far and so much I have learnt from it already. In case you are wondering what a journey of detachment is? It is when you get rid of everything material wise you own in your home and leave that house to start over with nothing but a suitcase full of clothes and important documents. That’s it!

That is what I am doing in 2017 and completely detaching myself from every material thing in my house. I started this journey only 3 months ago and has everything gets less and less in our home, it feels freaking amazing!

I decided to move to a different town and start over again because the kids are now adults and flown the nest. However, I didn’t want to “just move town” I want to completely shift my life and start over again and take hardly anything from this life into my new life and home.

 

46635036 - happy young couple sitting on floor in new home

So I started my journey to downsizing completely around 3 months ago. Yes! The old ego did have a good dig in the back of my subconscious mind a few times to say “You can’t let that go” and “No, you must keep that!”. However, it didn’t win and I continued my mission to detach from everything.

Now has the house starts to downsize and the material things start to leave the house through giving to charity, sales and throwing out crap I wouldn’t use again. The journey to detachment is exciting, freeing, and a realisation of how much people really do get attached to material things.

I am looking forward to the day my house is completely empty and all I take with me is my suitcase into my new home and life. If there is one thing this journey of life has taught me so far? Is that life is too short not to at least experience detachment at once in your life. so to put into perspective that really material thing means nothing to the overall beauty of being alive and well each day which enables you to be the author of your own reality and re-write as many time as you like!

I will continue to share my journey of detachment with you until I reach my new home and new life.

Have an epic week,
Much Love

photo-06-12-2016-09-46-35

Kate xx