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Five Steps To Increase Self-Esteem – By Alyssa Cruise

Article Written By Alyssa Cruise

 

When we think of self-esteem, we often see it as something that we have or do not have, rather than a way of being. We hear about having high self-esteem or low self-esteem as if there is a sliding scale of esteem that we must compare ourselves too.

In truth, self-esteem is a verb which means; the process of esteeming one’s self.

In other words, the process of boosting our self –esteem begins with us seeing the value within ourselves.

With this in mind, below are five tips to boost our self-esteem to promote a happier and healthier view of ourselves.

 

  1. Believe In Yourself

One of the first steps we must take to boost our own self-esteem is to change the way we think and feel about ourselves. This is a process that does not always happen overnight, and for the majority of the population is an ongoing journey throughout most of our lives.

When we begin to take responsibility for the way we feel, we empower ourselves. We take charge of our own self-concept which includes; our self worth, beliefs about ourselves, our talents, abilities, potential and value.

  1. Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes

The more we celebrate our past wins in life, the more belief and confidence we build within our abilities.  Sometimes people struggle to think of their successes, and therefore give up on this exercise. However, there is a way for us to contemplate our wins in a very logical and objective structure, which can help us to see how much we have all grown on our life’s journey.

How To Identify Our Successes.

Step one is to split your life into sections. This will vary depending on each of our ages, but for example, 0-15, 16-30, 30-45.

Step two, you will now choose two successes you experienced within each of these time frames.

Step three, once you have discovered six life successes go back, and continue this same pattern. You may find that before too long you have identified very long list of successes, which you can then celebrate, with great belief in yourself.

After this exercise is complete, moving forwards, we can make a weekly or even daily list of our achievements. This will allow us to see our own progression from week to week, and will ultimately increase of self-belief and self-esteem.

  1. Make Integrity a Priority

One of the best ways we can boost our own self-esteem, is to make integrity a priority. Every agreement we make with others’, we also make with ourselves. When we stick to our word, we honour our integrity. If we don’t follow through on our word, we can ultimately lose faith and even trust within ourselves. This lack of trust within causes our self-esteem to plummet. By keeping our commitments and honouring our integrity we increase our self-esteem and sense of personal power.

  1. Take Some Risks

The higher our self-esteem is, the more likely we are to take successful risks. This is not about risk taking in a ‘negative’ sense, but rather risks that lead us greater success and even happiness. When we lack belief in ourselves, we can also lack gumption and drive. This can lead us to feeling deflated and unsure of ourselves. Taking risks, however small they may seem to begin with, can really help us to develop a deep sense of self-esteem.

  1. Demonstrate Your Talents

When our self-esteem is low, we often turn to thinking negatively about ourselves and our abilities. It is important within these times that we go within and remind ourselves of the things we are truly good at, and the things we do enjoy.

For example, if you are good at sport join a local team. If you are good at painting, showcase your work. If you are good at singing, post a video online or make a professional recording for yourself, friends or family.

When we engage in the things that we do well at, we are able to grow and flourish our self-esteem in tremendous ways.

Tips breakdown;

  • Believe In Yourself
  • Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes
  • Make Integrity A Priority
  • Take Some Risks
  • Demonstrate Your Talents

Much Love,

Alyssa x


 

Self-Esteem:- By Kim B. Smith

Self-Esteem:

A confidence and satisfaction in oneself

Self-Respect

1:  A proper respect for oneself as a human being

2:  Regard for one’s own standing or position

 

Webster’s Dictionary definition of self-esteem and self-respect.

Why do we have such a struggle with all of this?

Self-esteem and self-respect are a group of muscles; they must be worked and strengthened every day. In this article, I want to talk about how to do just that, not the reasons why we lack the confidence and satisfaction in ourselves. I will say one more thing, we all experience this and we even have insecurities as well.

The key questions here are:

How long do you stay in this environment of yourself and who do you turn too?

I talk a lot about the ‘Hag in the attic,’ that nagging voice in our heads. You know who she is! The one that keeps you small, comfortable, questioning yourself so your confidence is compromised and satisfaction is never reached. Sound familiar? Believe me, you need support and tools to keep strengthening your self-esteem.

Think about your muscles and you want to become stronger. You need to do a strength-training regime, right? The same goes for your esteem. Esteem needs spiritual training. Yes, spiritual training.

A higher belief of one’s self, call it what you want, The Universe, or God. I believe God created everything, so I speak God. We need this to release all of our lamenting to grow stronger, through chaos, joy, ups, and downs! Think bicep curls, planks, squats and lunges, crunches (all Pilates based of course). Training! Hard core training. Period.

We have twelve laws of the Universe, begin there for your routine. Read them, understand them. You also need water, a dehydrated body leads to misery and that is not the way to strengthen your muscles. Hydration is so key in so many ways.

The bottom line here is when self-doubt creeps in it is a recipe for misery, and you need someone to hand this all over to: God! We think we need other people in our lives to help us through all of this ‘stuff’ we have going on, and we do, however, they have stuff going on as well. There is only one person that can help us grieve, forgive, lament, and give it all too; and that is a higher power is God!

There was a time when I didn’t turn to God, and I felt He was too far away to even help, let alone trust. So here is how I lived:

I chased money, titles and I placed people on pedestals. That left me disappointed, empty, feeling like I was in a deep dark hole, chasing people for love, drugs, and sex. I lied to climb corporate ladders for money and titles. All because I thought this is what society expected of me, and because I didn’t have satisfaction in myself. I didn’t have a family lifting me up, they beat me down. I was on my own since high school navigating my way with little to no tools.

I quit school because it was more fun to go to Florida at spring break and party. I built a career on lies, I cheated people for money, and I did drugs because it was a powerful place to be, or so I thought. I rebelled, believing in my own false confidence. I was wrapped up in my appearance of my body image, so I took on an exercise disorder. I lived a low life because I thought this is what society, and more importantly, my parents thought I should be doing. And yes, these were my judgments, all of this was in my mind.

Anxiety crept in, and it became worse. Physically, I was getting sick. On the outside, it looked like I had it all going on, but the price to pay was my lack of spirituality, faith, self-esteem, and self-respect! I compared myself to others, and I always felt like I had work hard to chase everything down! I would say things like: “I don’t have luck, I don’t come from money, only other people know how to achieve success.” This my friends is the Hag attacking and controlling when you are low.

A few easy suggestions to break this down into simple steps:

 

R.E.A.D.! (I heard this in church.)

 

R: ready in your heart

E: engage the text

A: ask questions

D: decide to act

Read and get to know God’s words, fall in love with Him, then you will be in love with yourself. Take His words and bury them deep into your heart. Slow down to have a conversation with Him. We live in such a fast-paced, surfaced, quick-fix environment. We need to go deeper in our hearts, bury his words so deep nothing can dig them up. Ask the questions of who, what, where, why, and when? Do this daily!

This is the muscle-building regime for developing confidence and satisfaction in oneself, a proper respect for oneself as a human being, and regard for one’s own standing or position!

You now have your foundation of strengthening your self-esteem.

Peace,

Kim xx


Kim Boudreau Smith is a multi-talented CEO and business leader with a legacy of empowering thousands of women. From a corporate background in sales and marketing and over 20 years of experience in the fitness industry, Kim has gone on to become an #1 International Best-Selling Author with the book being one of the best-selling on Amazon for 2015! Kim also has become a multiple International Best-Selling Author Business Consultant and Speaker. Kim combines her expertise with a passion to motivate and inspire other women to become “top producers in their lives”. As CEO of Kim Boudreau Smith Inc. & Founder of Bold Radio Station her international speaking and consulting work has enabled thousands of women to benefit from her inspirational and empowering work. Find out more at www.kimbsmith.com

Shifting Your Future Relationship with Money by Mining Your Past

Guest Blog Written by Wendy L. Yost

“Come here…go away”, “don’t ever leave me”, “there’s only one way for this to work, and it’s my way”.  While it may seem that I am quoting people, I’m actually quoting aspects of a different kind of relationship, my relationship with money. If those statements had been in reference to a person, I wouldn’t have allowed that person to stay in my life for very long. And yet, I think for many of us, our relationship with money is reflected in often contradictory statements. And these statements create an undercurrent for when we make choices when it comes to how we relate to, use and appreciate money.

Rather that tell you to do this, not that — or, change how you do things entirely, I’d instead like to approach our time together the way I would one of the university classes I teach and design a curriculum on money intended to heal something, reveal something, and hopefully, with your participation, do both.

In building this curriculum, I started by thinking of assignments that have been particularly potent. And immediately thought about an assignment I’ve used in multiple classes where I have students map a facet of their life. And then thought about how I might creatively adapt the assignment to the subject of money. I found that mapping my relationship to money from birth until now brought new insights that assisted me in befriending money in new ways. What that involved was taking a sheet of paper, starting with the year I was born and then tracking how I have interacted with money through the years, as a child, a teenager, a young adult and now as grown woman, nearly five decades later.

My MONEY MAP illuminated key life events that impacted my relationship to money, such as: Receiving an allowance; comparing my sister’s proclivity for saving money, against mine for spending it; being hired for my first minimum wage job; embarking on my first entrepreneurial pursuit (becoming an Avon Lady!); saying yes to jobs I took to gain experience, even when the pay was awful; buying my first car and taking on my first mortgage; navigating job searches that took much longer than expected; asking my former husband for a necessary divorce; and more recent experiences like using social media to measure myself against the perceived success of others; and celebrating my first six figure year (and wondering how I’ll be able to do it again).

It also surfaced key shifts in my beliefs about money through the years — like when I released the need to earn all the money that I receive; when I got honest about my desire to serve fewer individual clients at greater depth; when I decided to start blessing abundance in all its forms (be it in nature, with my finances or with something like a huge bin of beach balls) or, making the conscious choice to bless forms of abundance I see other than what I would choose for myself (like deciding to imagine each time I see a Ferrari, how I would use the $188,425 to $400,000+ it takes to buy a car like that, instead of judging the driver’s choice).

Completing my MONEY MAP was definitely an eye opening experience. And also one that brought on an array of emotions: Fear, discouragement, worry, disappointment, overwhelm, frustration and impatience — as well as hopefulness, optimism, positive expectancy, triumph, freedom and even, joy. Our relationship with money is many things, and most of all, it is uniquely our own.

Creating your MONEY MAP can bring you new insights as well. As a way to get started, let’s begin with a mini version by calling to mind Ten Money Memories and writing them down. You don’t need to list a bunch of details, just a short phrase or sentence will do, like “the first time I negotiated a great salary” or “that time I found myself calculating Miles Per Gallon to assess how far I could travel by car on $2.50 of gas before my next paycheck arrived” or “when it took six months for a client to pay their invoice on income I was counting on, for work I already delivered on”. Don’t edit, just write what comes.

Once you have your Ten Money Memories, review the list and ask yourself the following questions:

 $          Which memories are mostly positive and which are mostly negative?

$          What patterns occurred across multiple Money Memories — were there any repeated             people, places or experiences mentioned that are worth noting?

Next, pick one Money Memory that you consider positive and another you consider negative and ask yourself:

$          Who was I at the time?

$          What did I most need during at that point in my life?

Finally, for the two Money Memories that you selected to take a closer look at:

$          What happened before, during and as a result of those Money Memories?

One of the things I noticed in reflecting on these questions is that my best Money Memories tended to involve creative collaborations — and most of my worst were times when I thought I had to handle a challenge or circumstance alone. That’s a powerful insight!

For a worksheet that includes all of the above prompts, bonus content and a list of Related Resources, visit www.moreisavailable.com/themissingpiece-money.

So once we start to see some of the undercurrents present in our relationship with money, what can we do about them? The first thing is give yourself credit, as in “good job, well done” for what you have accomplished. This is important. If you’re about to consider making a change for the better, giving yourself credit, by celebrating how what you’ve done with money in the past worked in some way, rewards the part of your brain that might otherwise resist the change you are wanting to make. To be clear, the credit you are giving yourself has more to do with how you are capable of making something happen, than what actually happened. And, how you can mine your experiences, even the tough ones,  to see what treasures they contain.

Ask any awarenesses of your own that surface, “what blessing is available to me now, based on how I handled that then?” And be still. Take a breath. See what comes. If you’re a writer, have a pen or keyboard handy. If you’re an artist, a canvas. A dancer, room to move. Use your natural forms of expression as a way to help you see what is wanting to be healed and/or revealed.

And, if the answer doesn’t come immediately, ask again before bed and ask that the answers come to you in the form of memorable dreams. Through my work with thousands of clients and college students, I’ve come to see that some insights, especially those with the power to transmute outdated beliefs and transform us, are often time release — parceled out as we become ready to receive them, and in ways that allow for easier integration.

Something remarkable is made possible when we are willing to take a look and see things in new ways. My hope is that the territory we covered with your Top Ten List of Money Memories is just the beginning of your forging a new relationship with money. You have something unique to offer the planet. By taking the time to explore your relationships to things like money, and release hidden beliefs or old ways of being that surface, new opportunities have space to grow and find their way to you. And you are also positioned to live in more empowered ways and be of greater service. You have the clarity needed so that as new money flows to you, you have a clearer sense of how to have it work for you, however you choose to relate to, use and appreciate it!

Much Love & Appreciation

Wendy xx

Wendy L. Yost, Owner of More is Available Coaching & Consulting
 Message Service (818) 660-MORE. PST | www.moreisavailable.com| wendy@moreisavailable.com
Bridging the spiritual and practical to help people reconfigure their lives so more of their time, energy and attention is available for what matters most.

 

How to Say Goodbye to Disempowering Words

It is time to part with those words that have disempowered you for your entire life; the words that people conform to themselves on a daily basis which stop them moving forward or ever becoming what they dream and desire to be.

The words I am talking about are:

• I can’t
• I wish
• I hope
• I don’t know how
• It’s not possible
• I could never do that
• If only
• I should really be doing this
• If only I knew how
• I should have
• Yes but
• Maybe one day
• I’m sorry, I can’t

These words will continue to keep you stuck in the position you are in and will never help you move forward with your life. The longer you continue to say these words out loud, you are confirming to yourself that you are choosing not to find a way around whatever obstacle is impeding your path in life.
The language you use can empower you so that you are in control, OR it can have the opposite effect and disempower you, which is then assigning you the role of a victim.

The words that you habitually use affect how you communicate with yourself and how you experience your life. By simply changing the words you use, you can completely change the course of your life and the decisions you make.
The words you use carry energy and have the power to influence what happens in your life and work. Many of these words were programmed into you as a child along with the belief systems they support. Simply being aware of our words and shifting our language can lead to higher energy and success in your life.

Empowering Words:

Let’s look at the words that will empower you and change the way you do things in the future. The words you can now choose to use are empowering and you are making positive statements with these words every time you speak them out loud.

Your words can now be replaced with:

• I will do this
• I am going to
• I choose not to
• I want to
• I am
• I feel
• I intend to
• My goal is
• Yes
• No
• I want to know more
• I will make this happen

I am sure you can see the major difference in these words compared to the disempowering words. Look at the power these words hold. Just think of what you can achieve each day by switching your words to empowering ones. All you have to do becomes aware of the disempowering words you are using and switch to using the empowering words listed above. It is that simple.

Now let’s look at changing how you express yourself to others when they ask you how you are. When people say, “how are you today?” we often reply with, “I’m all right, thanks,” or, “I’m okay.” These words are also disempowering you! Let’s change these statements to: “I feel great today, thank you,” and “I’m feeling really empowered today.” Do you see the difference?
Now say these statements right now (yes , now!):

I feel empowered today.
I feel awesome today, thank you.
Didn’t that feel so much better when you said that? Instead of the usual disempowering, “I’m okay.”

Really become aware of how you hold yourself when you speak the disempowering words versus when you say the empowering words. You will notice that when you are speaking of the empowering list your head will be up and your back will be straight and you will be feeling ready to take on the day! But when you read from the disempowering words list… where are you looking? And how is your body reacting to this? Your body is hunched over and your eyes are on the floor. Can you see how much of an energy drain these words are? The best part of this is that you have control over this and you can change the way you hold yourself in a crowd just by changing your vocabulary.

All you are doing is replacing old habits with new ones and reaping the rewards for doing so. Yes, even the words we say and the body language we use with these words are habits, just like the rest of the habits you have been changing in this program. This is no different!

Isn’t it a truly amazing feeling to be aware of the control you can have over YOUR OWN LIFE?

Have a wonderful rest of your week!

Much Love

Kate xx

Selling is 80% Psychology!

When it comes to selling in your business, it really is 80% psychology and 20% mechanics that lead to building a foundation of raving followers who turn into paying clients. Gone are the days of cold-calling and knocking on doors. Human beings work through emotion and everything we do—or buy—is based on how it makes us feel.

We buy from those we know and trust. You know yourself when a service does not live up to the standards we were promised, we then feel disappointed and upset. We feel cheated after parting with our hard-earned cash to pay for those goods or services.

To sell successfully through social media takes practice, but once you have mastered the skills and have incorporated them into your life on a daily basis it becomes effortless. You then begin to construct a strong foundation of raving fans and this leads to creating amazing relationships and leadership influence within your following. This leadership influence leads you to attract people and opportunities that you would never have experienced before.

I thought if at least I give you some useful information in one place (in this blog) at hand you could not fail and by using this advice along the way you will adopt this effective communication that will help you boost your engagement and save you wasting hours on stuff that is not working!

Remember you are a business owner and you are here to do business not babysit the excuse makers who cannot see the value in what you are offering. You want to be working with those who are serious about change in their lives and business and growing yours. I am going to give you 3 great pointers in growing your social media presence and engagement:

1, Create content that triggers engagement from people:

Don’t get caught up in posting all about yourself, this journey is about how you can help others. Create content that will spark engagement, conversation and you gaining comments from your following. It’s not about creating content that they will just like or share, this about developing meaningful relationships with them so that you have a solid ground of clients and referrals from others.

2, Really start to understand what is going on in your follower’s mind!

It seems to have become the over powering norm of creating chaos in our Facebook newsfeeds with one sponsored advert after another of “Download my PDF” or “”Sign up for my free 4 part video series where I teach you how to earn 6 figures in 6 weeks” this is completely choking the heck out of a Facebook follower. People do NOT come to Facebook to buy, they come to engage socially, watch videos that interest them and connect with people around the world. Buying is not the main frame of their mind and this is why it irritates the pants off people! How do I know? That is because when I see 20+ ads on Facebook each day and I actually take the time to read the comments left under the advert because this tells you EXACTLY how your follower thinks! This will open your eyes wide to see the overwhelm that can happen in an everyday newsfeed.

3, Focus on building relationship first:

Focusing on building rleationships first will really help you build a deeper and more meaninful relationship with your clients. If you actually work from a place of humanity, love and care about the people you work with then do place relationship first! Get to know the people who follow you, have conversations in your comments thread. Ask them open ended questions in your posts so that you get to know more about them. Don’t talk about you first, ask them about themselves, what they do, if they have children, are they married? So that it starts to fetch this person to life like the human being they really are.

There is more to somebodies life then just Fascebook, and by learning and chatting to your followers more and creating content that strikes engagment first, you will build more powerful and deeper relationships. Plus, further down the road of your relationship if they do choose to purchase a service from you, then at least you can serve them better from the information you too the time to learn in the first place.

It’s time to see selling for what it really is in the online industry! If people preffer to sell to you 80% of the time rather then just ask you how your day is then maybe humanity is missing out of the equation here?

Have an awesome Tuesday and I really hope these points help you on your selling journey!

Much Love & Appreciation

Kate xx

 

Take Advice from the Already Successful

This is the biggest piece of advice I could give anyone who is on their journey towards building their online business. This is something I learnt at the very beginning of my own journey, and I have never looked back.

If you’re looking for information on how to be successful, ask successful people themselves. You will be surprised at how many of them are really helpful and are willing to talk about how they became successful in the first place. Or help you and teach you how they did it.

Social networking sites are very powerful tools and can be used to your advantage to either build what you are creating or receive support from the most amazing people in the world. It’s not just there to communicate with your friends—it’s also there to be used as a tool. So use it to your advantage!

However, I must warn you! It does have its downsides of some service providers/coaches promising you the Earth but never delivering or people calling themselves social media experts, when really they only have 500 followers on their page.

Find a person from your area of interest that is an expert and has become successful at what you wish to achieve! Ask them for some advice, or see how they can train you. This will then give you information on how to become successful in the field yourself. Their advice will point out the areas that you need to work on in order to reach your goals.

At the beginning of this week, I came up with the idea that I was going to start publishing 100 of the best coaches in the back of every issue of The Missing Piece magazine. This way our readers can access a trustworthy list of the best coaches handpicked by myself, in many different niches, so that they can be completely comfortable knowing that the people in that directory have ACTUALLY achieved what you wish to learn and apply to your own life.

Building a business isn’t easy, and with all the distractions around you and promises from people who promise to teach you 6 figures in 6 weeks, it can be stressful, overwhelming and sometimes completely confusing who to trust???? Well, never fear in asking anyone what they have achieved. Never be scared to come right out and ask (before you have paid them) “What have you achieved in your own life/business to this date?”

If they can’t give you the answers that really impress you or make you think “Wow I want to learn how to do that” then obviously it would be a waste of your time, and money to pay them. You would basically come away more frustrated then you went into the mentorship with them.

You worked hard for your cash, so invest it wisely! You deserve to live out your dreams and passions and be taught right by the right people. So never fear to ask before you invest, research the person before you invest, find out more about the person before you invest.

This little piece of research could lead to saving you a broken heart and money that could have been invested elsewhere to somebody who could help you! I look forward to publishing the top 100 coaches in our magazine issues to help you find the right coach for you!

You can expect our 100 coach directory to start appearing in our August 17th, 2017 issue. Over the course of the next 12 months, I will be looking to grow the directory up to 100 coaches in all different niches. These coaches will be TRUSTED and WILL bring change to your life!

I am excited to bring them to you!

Have a wonderful Thursday, and may this day be the best one yet!

Much Love

Kate xx