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Stop Saying YES! – Written By Kate Batten

overwhelm, usually a posh word which roughly translated means “I do not know how to say no” syndrome. It is a common thing so don’t worry, we have all gone through life feeling guilty if we say no to somebody. You don’t want to let people down or feel like you are letting them down, so instead, you say yes, yes, yes, all the time!

Only the issue is you keep on saying yes, and before you know it your plate is so stacked high with so much shit to do that you are so stressed out you have zero time for anything else. You then turn into a complete stranger to your close ones because you are never around, and your husband and kids don’t have one clean pair of pants between them!

I have had many many clients over the years who have become so overwhelmed with saying yes far too many times.

Photo by Ivan Obolensky from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/

Then, before they know it they are stressed out, burnt out and don’t even want to carry on building their dream because they feel they don’t have what it takes in the first place.

Trust me, you have every ounce of what it takes to be a success in your life, The key to that success is only focusing on a few things and becoming great at them few things. Only because your friend is doing a webinar, download program and writing a book all at the same time does not mean you have to do the same.

Dividing your focus between 20 different things weakens your results compared to focusing on one or 2 things and mastering them.

Yes, I have been there, experienced that and have the wrinkles to prove it.

The question you need to ask yourself is:

Do you want to be great and successful at a few things that completely sell out all the time and have a thriving business?

Or…

Do you want to be sat there stressed out to high heaven with no time, energy and be broke because your products/services are not selling?

It’s not exactly rocket science now is it?

There is a lot to learn on your road to success. There is a right way to do things and a completely wrong way to do things. I have experienced both ways and trust me I prefer the way things are today in my life and business, then they were 2 years ago!

I stopped saying yes to people and realised that my self-respect to myself was more important and so was my health.

I started to focus on a few things rather then trying to be Jack of all trades and master of none. I started saying the word NO more and meaning it.

I started working less and earning more money, and I started to have more time for myself and my family which resulted in me becoming a better coach and a better business owner.

You are in complete control of your life, and overwhelm is only a reality of you saying yes far too much. It’s time to start saying NO!

Thank you for reading,

Kate x


Kate is an 18 x International Best-Selling Author, International Coach and Creator of The Missing Piece Magazine. As a coach Kate helps authors and professionals grow their platforms by teaching them how to publish, market and sell their books to international best-seller status. Kate has the honour and pleasure of consulting TV personalities and award-winning Hollywood film directors, she has a real passion to teach established business owners how to earn up to $180,000 with one book BEFORE it even goes to print. Kate currently holds the position of Publishing Specialist with the GWEN Network. Find out more at www.katebatten.com

The List – Written By Donna Davis

We say thank you all the time. There are so many people in our lives that help us in one way or another that we have sincere gratitude for. If we took the time to write all those names down we’d be amazed at just how long our list is.

The list is quite colorful and interesting: There are people young and old, perhaps different ethnicities and backgrounds – maybe even a stranger or two who have held a door or shared a smile just when you were having a challenging day and needed one. Others have helped with directions or recipes or projects or finances or even lending an ear or a hug when times were tough. They have wiped away tears, encouraged you, supported you, taught you, forgave you, trusted you – the list goes on and on.

The list is a beautiful tapestry of love and life. It is so special and meaningful that some would even say its sacred.  The list spans months, years and decades and can easily warm your heart and put a smile on your face.

So my question to you is: “Are YOU on your list?”  Have you added your own name somewhere on that list? Are you at the top? The Bottom? Somewhere in the middle? Or have you forgotten to even acknowledge your own self and add your name?    It’s not too late, you know. Even if you HAVE made the list you can ALWAYS add more things that you are thankful for that YOU were directly involved with.

First and foremost, make sure you acknowledge the fact that you are allowed to be on your own list. You have been there every second of every experience. Why not be grateful for all of THAT?!

This list may be somewhere in your head or in your heart. My challenge for you today is to make it a reality. You can start small.  Find a piece of paper that you can dedicate to this exercise or print the one that goes along with this post.  On that list write 10 names, and YES one of the names HAS to be YOURS!

For yourself- write down 5 things that you are grateful for that happened in your life that you had a direct role in accomplishing.  Next list 1 extra special person and list 3 things about them.  Lastly pick 8 more people and next to their name write 1 thing that you are grateful for.

Example:

Me:      1.                              2.                            3.                             4.                              5.

A Special Person:               1.                             2.                             3.

Person 3:                                                              Person 4:                                                 Person 5:

Person 6:                                                              Person 7:                                                 Person 8:

This will fill up the page and allow you to see how many beautiful things are in your life.  It can help you to shift your focus on positive things and even prime your psyche to expand on things or start new adventures.  If you like to doodle or are into mind mapping you can draw (or cut and paste) pictures next to each person representing how you feel about them and what you are thankful for. Decorate this sheet of paper however you’d like.  Keep it in a place that you can look at often.  Perhaps you’d like to make a small copy of it to keep in your purse or wallet or on your bathroom mirror.

From time to time or when you get a chance you can always make another list or 2 and before long you will have a collection of dozens of people and things that you are grateful for!

I am grateful that you stopped by to read this today, thank you.  I wish you a magnificent day full of gratitude!

Do download the worksheet I have for you right HERE!

Much Love

Donna Davis


Donna Davis holds a Master Degree in Educational Leadership, Management and Policy from Seton Hall University and cherishes the journey of life, learning and the pursuit of dark chocolate all over the world.

As an educator, author, speaker, columnist and coach, Donna Davis is a perpetual optimist dedicated to helping women thrive and enjoy all that life has to offer. Donna is a modern day Change Agent disguised as The Menopause Fairy who celebrates the Magic, Mystery and Mayhem of Midlife.

Donna writes a column in The Missing Piece Magazine http://themissingpiecemagazine.com/ every month in which she coaches readers through various topics, activities and exercises related to the chosen theme for the month.  As co-founder of WOmentum BuildHers https://www.facebook.com/WOmentumBuildhers/, Donna helps women to honor and celebrate themselves, find and use their voice and be able to survive all that life brings their way, allowing them to thrive and come alive in a way like never before through community, encouragement and Sisterhood.

This WOmentum BuildHER is taking bold action to educate, celebrate, and collaborate with women in all phases of life around the globe to heal, grow and come alive to “Be the best version of yourself possible!”

 

 

 

Radical Recovery of Rob Decker


Fitness, faith and friends delivered Rob Decker from the depths of despair to the heights of a clean lifestyle. Written by Suzanna Cullen Hamilton Photographed by Shane O’Donnell.

Originally published in Southbay HEALTH Magazine Spring 2017, a publication of Moon Tide Media  http://www.oursouthbay.com/

 


Written by Suzanna Cullen Hamilton | Photographed by Shane O’Donnell

 

Opioid addiction claims more lives each year than firearms or automobiles. Growing up with parents who were alcoholics with opioid and drug addictions presented Rob with an almost insurmountable hurdle. Although Rob now has a thriving career as a fitness instructor—particularly to youth and people recovering from back surgery, his path was riddled with the landmines of addiction and negative messaging.

“It’s impossible to not be affected when you grow up with meth-addicted parents who abuse drugs and alcohol,” says Rob. He started using marijuana at age 16, and by his early 20s he was taking Ecstasy and cocaine. “I was on a fast path, and my father told me that I’d never make it,” he continues.

A life of constant addiction culminated one dark night that could have ended Rob’s life. After a drunken argument with his then-girlfriend that included a call to the police, Rob decided to take his own life by jumping from a building.

“In that moment, I was ready to end the nightmare,” says Rob. Although friends had recently taken him to a prayer service at a nearby church where Rob says he “felt chills on my spine and knew the Lord’s presence,” he wanted to go.

Fortunately, Rob hit part of the building, and it broke his fall. Although he shattered his back, arm and wrist and collapsed a lung, he was alive.

It took five years and $2 million in multiple surgeries to heal Rob’s fractured back and arm, and he had to learn to walk again. “During that time, I learned to understand deep physical pain; the fundamentals and patience required for recovery; and I learned that my faith would deliver me through it,” says Rob.

 

Titanium rods, screws and cages now hold Rob’s body together, while his faith holds his soul together. He’s also eliminated all drug and alcohol use.

Today Rob has a thriving business as a personal trainer at Equinox. “I want to give people hope,” says Rob. He and his wife, Alyssa, live in Torrance, and they welcomed a son, Caleb, in 2016.

When asked what he’d say to his teenaged self, Rob replies, “You can be whatever you want to be, and be the best you can be.” Caleb is going to have a great pillar in his father, and back surgery patients have an advocate in Rob.

Written by Suzanna Cullen Hamilton Photographed by Shane O’Donnell

For more articles written by Southbay, visit http://www.oursouthbay.com/


 

 

 

Belief/Affirmations: Do you believe in the power of prayer?

Article Written By Dr. Jane Cox

You might have noticed that I rather enjoy taking a bit of a controversial view on all sorts of subjects. I remember being taught from quite young that there are certain subjects that you just don’t talk about, and those generally include subjects around things like religion, or politics. Well, that was like a red rag to a bull for me. Tell me I shouldn’t do something, and immediately it engages me as something worth taking notice of. I am also often the “devil’s advocate” – I’ll keep the open mind, and always allow for the possibility that what I “believe” at any stage may change, because my current decision or belief may be based on a lack of knowledge, rather than an abundance of knowledge. And for me, ignorance is no reason to structure my life in a certain way. After all, life is about growing and learning, and I think we all have a huge amount of potential for that learning and that growth.

So one of the controversial subjects that has always interested me is the power of prayer. Some people swear by it, some people dismiss it completely. I went and became a metaphysican in my desire to understand it, amongst trying to get a handle on all other things spiritual and philosophical. I found out a lot of things about prayer, but I hope to share just a small finding in this couple of pages that we have together. And maybe it’ll encourage you to test this concept for yourself.

If you believed the nuns that taught me during my high school years, prayers are answered. To be honest, I had a big red flashing doubt sign in my brain when they came up with this concept. I tested it. I would pray for something, put my heart and soul into that prayer, and nothing seemed to happen. I would do the other thing they suggest – always start your prayer with thanks of what you have in your life, and then expand on this concept and pray for what you want as though the prayer had already been granted. Well, I liked the idea of that, but I wasn’t feeling overwhelmed with the success of the strategy.

One of my best friends at school was always worrying about her weight. She tried this prayer thing as well. She prayed to lose weight. She gave thanks for her thinness as though it had already become a reality. But nope. She kept looking much the same and, dare I say it, if there was weight doing anything it was appearing, not disappearing. So for a while I liked the concept of praying but the proof was still lacking.

Then I sat back and looked at what prayer actually was. It was effectively the sending up of energy into the Universe. And of course if there is real emotion involved in anything, it increased the amount of energy attached to that thought or desire. If we think of ourselves as electrical circuits, it makes sense that we exchange energy with the Universe. And if we guide that energy, and set our intentions, and include our emotions, it is like sending a guided missile up into the energy system of the Universe, and it certainly should be weighted in the favour of working, so why did it seem to have so little working proof?

Then I took a broader look at what was going on, and I experimented further, and I can honestly say that it is true what they say: Every prayer is answered. The trouble is that we tend to forget the first half of the statement. The fact is that EVERY THOUGHT is a prayer, and every prayer is answered. Think about it. Over seven billion souls, all sending up the energy of their thoughts. That’s a helluva lot of energy being sent out into the Universe!

So somehow we expect the Universe, that God power, to listen really carefully to all of that energy coming from each one of us. We expect that if that thought is preceded by a “Dear God”, and ends off with an “Amen”, that somehow the Universe will ignore the clutter of all those other energetic signals we send off, and just grant the request or intention sandwiched between those magic words. The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed.

I listened carefully to my friend. While for a few minutes each day she prayed for weight loss, she spent most of the other 23 hours and 55 minutes talking about how fat she felt she was. How she “only needed to think about a slice of cake and she would put on weight”. And I looked at where her thoughts centred, I listened to her self talk, and I saw where her emotions lay, and I saw how where she placed her attention was what manifested.

I saw myself do the same. I would “pray” for one thing, but believe another. I would ask for one result, and take actions and expend energy into creating the opposite result. Not intentionally, but when I was honest with myself, the pattern was clear. The negative self talk that we indulge in. The times that we diminish ourselves and run ourselves down. All of that energy, all of those thoughts, all sending out their energy into a very busy Universe, and the answering energy comes back. What we believe, we achieve. If what we internally believe is that we are failures, we create failure. If we believe we are incapable, we are. Or in my friend’s case, if we think we are overweight, we become the outward manifestation of those thoughts.

But on the flip side, when we catch our negative thoughts and beliefs, and we replace them with positive ones, we start to manifest that too. When we start to genuinely tell ourselves that we can do something, we manage it with relative ease. When we expect a positive outcome, we create a much larger possibility for that positive outcome. When our mind sends out clean and consistent energy, and we take ownership of our thoughts, we take back control over the outcome of those thoughts.

At first it may seem clunky. And quite an eye opener as to how many times we “think ourselves down”. But if every time you catch yourself thinking negatively, you intentionally replace those thoughts with positive ones, you start retraining your brain for positive results rather than negative ones. Every thought is a prayer, and every prayer is answered.

What are your thoughts? Because those thoughts are the thoughts that will become your reality.

Thank you so much for reading,

Jane xx


Dr. Jane Cox is a Human behavioural specialist, success psychology expert and ethno-psychologist. Internationally renowed motivational speaker & trainer. find out more at: https://www.drjanecox.co.uk/

27 Affirmations That Will Change Your Life

Affirmations??

Affirmations are a very powerful tool that can be used daily and they can plant a seed within your mind which develop into a whole new way of thinking for you.

Affirmations can be used to inline you’re thinking about the results you desire in life and they can turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Which will then work in harmony with the natural spiritual laws of the universe, to attract what it is you want to you.

What are Affirmations?

An affirmation is spoken or written statements that are read daily which can completely transform your thoughts and make your belief systems shift to a whole new level. When using affirmations you speak of already achieving the goals you desire. Which then shifts the mind to that level of achievement and so you start to believe you are what you want to be. When your mind shifts to this level the laws of the universe work in harmony with these new thoughts and draws everything to you that you need to become what it is you desire.

So basically if you read a simple paragraph of say 3 to 4 lines twice a day. You start to become what it is you truly want to be and believing you can be it. Before your very eyes, you will start attracting the things and people to yourself in order to make your goal possible.

If you use the same affirmation for 90 days and ready it twice daily you will start to really see a drastic change in your thoughts. I myself have an amazing story about how affirmations transformed my life and I will share this with you on the audio when I talk about your next exercise. Now to begin with you may think how the hell are a few lines going to change my life?

Just please trust me when I tell you that they do. In order for affirmations to work you need to place them somewhere that you will read them at least twice a day. I place my affirmations on my bathroom wall right next to the sink. This way I read them twice daily when I brush my teeth. In the whole time it takes me to brush my teeth I am repeating this paragraph over and over again. You need to have fun with it and turn it into a little game for yourself and see how many times you can read the paragraph in the time it takes you to brush your teeth.
In the next exercise, you are going to write an affirmation of your very own. You are going to write what you are going to read either out loud or to yourself twice daily. I want you to set a goal so high that it makes your knees tremble thinking about it and then I want you to write your affirmation in the present tense. I want it to read like you are already what it is you desire to be.

To begin with, it’s hard to decide what to write in an affirmation. So here are a few examples to help you get started:

• I am the master of my own destiny.
• I am happy and love myself from the inside out.
• Miracles happen in my life daily.
• I am a truly amazing person who lives life to the full.
• I attract health, wealth and happiness where ever I go.
• All my desires have come true daily.
• Everything I need to succeed lays within me
• I have love, success and happiness
• I have the perfect weight I desire
• My finical situation becomes more wealthy each day
• I am a money magnet
• I attract opportunities to make money every single day
• My body is giving me the gift of great health
• I love myself and everyone around me
• I am surrounded by love

There are different ways that you can use affirmations. You could just write one sentence on several posts it notes. Like the example sentences above or you could write a paragraph which states your entire goal in one. You can then place this in one area of your house that you know you will go to at least twice a day. You have to decide how this will fit into your life the best and place it somewhere that you won’t forget to read it each day.

I asked The Missing Piece Magazine followers to share some of the affirmations that have changed their own lives, here is what they shared:

I am lovable, loving, and loved. Lynette Davis loveselflovebiz.com

My children inspire me to be the person I strive to be. Donna Anne Pace

Be the person others aspire to be….. be kind always, be passionate about what your mission is…. inspire and others to follow their dreams. Support, encourage and uplift one another. Dr Michele Langbein www.leadersempowerlives.com

I am my Master teacher who can find all guidance within my heart. Ellen Rich www.act2.expert

Wendy Hutchinson: There is no room for negativity in my life. Put that bitch in a box and stand in your power. www.alinealifecoaching.com

Mary Jean Marquez “It is possible to be a blessing to others while in the midst of your own difficulties!” -Mary Jean Marquez Women Uplifting Women / Women Uplifting Women / Inspiring Healthy Living – Whole Clean Plant-Based Food – Exercise

Vanessa Carter, I am filled with divine wisdom, divine intelligence, divine love and divine abundance and so it is.

I am on fire with LOVE for All That Is! – Trilby Johnson www.trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com

Aime Hutton “Inch by inch dreams and goals come true!” – Aime Hutton www.inchbyinchempowerment.com

Suzanne Gabli I am Aurora Borealis. The divine is leading me. All is well.

Sylvia Friedman Self-love is the only wealth we need.

Now it’s time to write yours!
Here’s to writing your own life and future reality!

Much Love

Kate xx


 

7 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship Part 6

Q6, Are you allowed to be you?

 

You know you have a fantastic relationship when your partner supports 1000% in everything you do. They never hold you back from anything you want to do and nor do they judge you for it…..They simply let YOU be YOU !.

Every person on the planet has the God- given right to do exactly what they want to do and when they want to do it. If your partner complains about the way you dress or tells you not to wear makeup, then this is completely wrong. If they hold you back from doing what you love (be it career wise or stopping you from following your dreams)… then this is wrong also.

A relationship should be one long, happy, successful journey through time, where each partner loves, honours and respects each other’s wishes. You should be able to have your own individual life as well as having your life together. Respect is a two way street in a relationship and you have to give just as much as you take from that person.

Stay tuned for 1 more questions and 1 more exercise,

Much Love,

Kate x

7 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship Part 5

Q5. Does your partner put you down in front of others?

Many partners feel very empowered when they put you down in front of other people. This is again a sign of their own insecurities shining through and projecting on to you. It mostly happens in relationships where the woman is a strong minded independent person who radiates confidence. Your partner then becomes jealous of the confidence that you have and their instant reaction is to pull you down to make them feel better. Even if your a woman who is strong minded and independent you are still a human being, and it still hurts your feelings to be treated like this by a partner.

If you did let this continue over time, then the self-confidence you took so long to build up for yourself will slowly be chipped away, then he will have gained control over you. A supportive and loving partner would not destroy what has taken you years to build within yourself. If anything they would make you feel a thousand times more confident than you were before.

Exercise Four:

Write a letter to your partner and explain how your partner is making you feel. Then leave it in a place for your partner to find so that they can read it. Often, people don’t listen to what you have to say, but reading it in words triggers the realisation of what they are actually doing.

Don’t hold back on how you’re feeling either. Put everything down in words. If you do become emotional while writing, then this is good. This is your true emotion talking and your true feelings coming from deep within your heart.

Stay tuned for 2 more questions and 2 more exercises,

 

Much Love,

Kate x

7 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship Part 4

Here is question 4 in highlight the #Metoo campaign

 

Q4. Are you having a relationship with an adult or a child?

 

To explain what I mean by this, I will describe my previous relationship and then you can get an idea of what I am talking about.

My previous partner lacked independence completely; he couldn’t do anything that an ordinary person like you or me could do. Not only did I have to cook, clean the house, take care of the finances, but I would even have to bring in work for him when he was sick. When it came to doing the weekly shop at the supermarket he would walk out after two minutes and go sit in the car and sulk. His excuse would be that he couldn’t deal with the stress of it. (Yes I know you are shaking your head already, it gets better to trust me!).

When it came to decorating our new home, I had to do it all myself. When it came to planning our wedding day, I had to do it all myself. When it came to him looking for a job, I had to look for him. When it came to insuring his car, I had to do it for him.

Even when it came running his bath, yes you got it…..I did it for him!

I am afraid there is nothing that can be changed with people like this; they have spent most of their lives latching on to people who will do everything for them, and they will continue to do so. When you do finally have enough and call it quits on your relationship they are not the slightest bit grateful for anything you did for them. They actually hate you for leaving them ! … Now it’s your fault that they have to now do things for themselves.

When I split with my partner, he sold his car. This was not because he needed the money or anything. It was because I cancelled his standing order from my bank account to his insurance company. So due to his lack of capability to ring the insurance company to set up a standing order he now no longer has a car……Really ??

(There is NO exercise on the planet that could work on this kind of personality, my advice is to leave them and save yourself from an eternity of butt wiping)..

Stay tuned for 3 more questions and 3 more exercises,

Much Love,

Kate x