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Five Steps To Increase Self-Esteem – By Alyssa Cruise

Article Written By Alyssa Cruise

 

When we think of self-esteem, we often see it as something that we have or do not have, rather than a way of being. We hear about having high self-esteem or low self-esteem as if there is a sliding scale of esteem that we must compare ourselves too.

In truth, self-esteem is a verb which means; the process of esteeming one’s self.

In other words, the process of boosting our self –esteem begins with us seeing the value within ourselves.

With this in mind, below are five tips to boost our self-esteem to promote a happier and healthier view of ourselves.

 

  1. Believe In Yourself

One of the first steps we must take to boost our own self-esteem is to change the way we think and feel about ourselves. This is a process that does not always happen overnight, and for the majority of the population is an ongoing journey throughout most of our lives.

When we begin to take responsibility for the way we feel, we empower ourselves. We take charge of our own self-concept which includes; our self worth, beliefs about ourselves, our talents, abilities, potential and value.

  1. Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes

The more we celebrate our past wins in life, the more belief and confidence we build within our abilities.  Sometimes people struggle to think of their successes, and therefore give up on this exercise. However, there is a way for us to contemplate our wins in a very logical and objective structure, which can help us to see how much we have all grown on our life’s journey.

How To Identify Our Successes.

Step one is to split your life into sections. This will vary depending on each of our ages, but for example, 0-15, 16-30, 30-45.

Step two, you will now choose two successes you experienced within each of these time frames.

Step three, once you have discovered six life successes go back, and continue this same pattern. You may find that before too long you have identified very long list of successes, which you can then celebrate, with great belief in yourself.

After this exercise is complete, moving forwards, we can make a weekly or even daily list of our achievements. This will allow us to see our own progression from week to week, and will ultimately increase of self-belief and self-esteem.

  1. Make Integrity a Priority

One of the best ways we can boost our own self-esteem, is to make integrity a priority. Every agreement we make with others’, we also make with ourselves. When we stick to our word, we honour our integrity. If we don’t follow through on our word, we can ultimately lose faith and even trust within ourselves. This lack of trust within causes our self-esteem to plummet. By keeping our commitments and honouring our integrity we increase our self-esteem and sense of personal power.

  1. Take Some Risks

The higher our self-esteem is, the more likely we are to take successful risks. This is not about risk taking in a ‘negative’ sense, but rather risks that lead us greater success and even happiness. When we lack belief in ourselves, we can also lack gumption and drive. This can lead us to feeling deflated and unsure of ourselves. Taking risks, however small they may seem to begin with, can really help us to develop a deep sense of self-esteem.

  1. Demonstrate Your Talents

When our self-esteem is low, we often turn to thinking negatively about ourselves and our abilities. It is important within these times that we go within and remind ourselves of the things we are truly good at, and the things we do enjoy.

For example, if you are good at sport join a local team. If you are good at painting, showcase your work. If you are good at singing, post a video online or make a professional recording for yourself, friends or family.

When we engage in the things that we do well at, we are able to grow and flourish our self-esteem in tremendous ways.

Tips breakdown;

  • Believe In Yourself
  • Celebrate Your Six Biggest Successes
  • Make Integrity A Priority
  • Take Some Risks
  • Demonstrate Your Talents

Much Love,

Alyssa x


 

Self-Esteem:- By Kim B. Smith

Self-Esteem:

A confidence and satisfaction in oneself

Self-Respect

1:  A proper respect for oneself as a human being

2:  Regard for one’s own standing or position

 

Webster’s Dictionary definition of self-esteem and self-respect.

Why do we have such a struggle with all of this?

Self-esteem and self-respect are a group of muscles; they must be worked and strengthened every day. In this article, I want to talk about how to do just that, not the reasons why we lack the confidence and satisfaction in ourselves. I will say one more thing, we all experience this and we even have insecurities as well.

The key questions here are:

How long do you stay in this environment of yourself and who do you turn too?

I talk a lot about the ‘Hag in the attic,’ that nagging voice in our heads. You know who she is! The one that keeps you small, comfortable, questioning yourself so your confidence is compromised and satisfaction is never reached. Sound familiar? Believe me, you need support and tools to keep strengthening your self-esteem.

Think about your muscles and you want to become stronger. You need to do a strength-training regime, right? The same goes for your esteem. Esteem needs spiritual training. Yes, spiritual training.

A higher belief of one’s self, call it what you want, The Universe, or God. I believe God created everything, so I speak God. We need this to release all of our lamenting to grow stronger, through chaos, joy, ups, and downs! Think bicep curls, planks, squats and lunges, crunches (all Pilates based of course). Training! Hard core training. Period.

We have twelve laws of the Universe, begin there for your routine. Read them, understand them. You also need water, a dehydrated body leads to misery and that is not the way to strengthen your muscles. Hydration is so key in so many ways.

The bottom line here is when self-doubt creeps in it is a recipe for misery, and you need someone to hand this all over to: God! We think we need other people in our lives to help us through all of this ‘stuff’ we have going on, and we do, however, they have stuff going on as well. There is only one person that can help us grieve, forgive, lament, and give it all too; and that is a higher power is God!

There was a time when I didn’t turn to God, and I felt He was too far away to even help, let alone trust. So here is how I lived:

I chased money, titles and I placed people on pedestals. That left me disappointed, empty, feeling like I was in a deep dark hole, chasing people for love, drugs, and sex. I lied to climb corporate ladders for money and titles. All because I thought this is what society expected of me, and because I didn’t have satisfaction in myself. I didn’t have a family lifting me up, they beat me down. I was on my own since high school navigating my way with little to no tools.

I quit school because it was more fun to go to Florida at spring break and party. I built a career on lies, I cheated people for money, and I did drugs because it was a powerful place to be, or so I thought. I rebelled, believing in my own false confidence. I was wrapped up in my appearance of my body image, so I took on an exercise disorder. I lived a low life because I thought this is what society, and more importantly, my parents thought I should be doing. And yes, these were my judgments, all of this was in my mind.

Anxiety crept in, and it became worse. Physically, I was getting sick. On the outside, it looked like I had it all going on, but the price to pay was my lack of spirituality, faith, self-esteem, and self-respect! I compared myself to others, and I always felt like I had work hard to chase everything down! I would say things like: “I don’t have luck, I don’t come from money, only other people know how to achieve success.” This my friends is the Hag attacking and controlling when you are low.

A few easy suggestions to break this down into simple steps:

 

R.E.A.D.! (I heard this in church.)

 

R: ready in your heart

E: engage the text

A: ask questions

D: decide to act

Read and get to know God’s words, fall in love with Him, then you will be in love with yourself. Take His words and bury them deep into your heart. Slow down to have a conversation with Him. We live in such a fast-paced, surfaced, quick-fix environment. We need to go deeper in our hearts, bury his words so deep nothing can dig them up. Ask the questions of who, what, where, why, and when? Do this daily!

This is the muscle-building regime for developing confidence and satisfaction in oneself, a proper respect for oneself as a human being, and regard for one’s own standing or position!

You now have your foundation of strengthening your self-esteem.

Peace,

Kim xx


Kim Boudreau Smith is a multi-talented CEO and business leader with a legacy of empowering thousands of women. From a corporate background in sales and marketing and over 20 years of experience in the fitness industry, Kim has gone on to become an #1 International Best-Selling Author with the book being one of the best-selling on Amazon for 2015! Kim also has become a multiple International Best-Selling Author Business Consultant and Speaker. Kim combines her expertise with a passion to motivate and inspire other women to become “top producers in their lives”. As CEO of Kim Boudreau Smith Inc. & Founder of Bold Radio Station her international speaking and consulting work has enabled thousands of women to benefit from her inspirational and empowering work. Find out more at www.kimbsmith.com

A Valuable Mindset by Trilby Johnson

Article Written By Trilby Johnson

“Mind what you are saying, especially about and to yourself.
Because you always tend to believe it.”
– Trilby Johnson

Mindset, is all about the stories we tell ourselves as well as what motives us when making the decisions and taking the actions we do. Our mindset consists of belief systems that we learn as children and that will inform much of our lives as adults. Beliefs are the mental building blocks we have that help us to make sense of the world around us and which many use to draw meaning about their lives from. Mindset is important because it fuels our attitudes and the way it which we respond to situations and other people and it helps us to form habits.

For much of our lives, we operate from these conscious and subconscious mindsets. Depending on the quality of the predominant mindset however, as we go through different life stages, situations and experiences, a specific mindset which may have been suitable and effective beforehand, no longer offers the most appropriate results and outcomes and may require reassessment and updating to something new.

Sounds straightforward for sure. Yet many people struggle with this. Firstly, because these mindsets are often operating on a subconscious level as well as being habitual and automatic behaviours and responses. And so whilst a person may really desire to change a specific belief and attitude, they may experience resistance. For instance, a person who lacks self-confidence may desire to feel more confident. And so they may choose to believe they are more confident and there may even be an improvement in their confidence levels  – like the ‘fake it till you make it’ slogan. This may work for a while. However, faking it will not be sustainable for very long and often the older more habitual mindset can pull them down. This is the reason that in my opinion and experience, positive affirmations can only take someone so far, before there needs to be another shift to the next level.

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

To experience mindset in an evergreen way, there is more to mindset than mere beliefs. They are indeed the building blocks to how we choose to function in the world. Yet humans are also sentient beings and so much of our prioritizing is based on our value system, which is the foundation of our building blocks. This aspect is often overlooked when it comes to wanting to install new belief patterns. The reason, in my experience, that there can be so much resistance is because when our values and our beliefs are not in alignment, we experience resistance and feel that we have to force or struggle in life.

Our values are a set of core principles that we use in making decision across our lives and are based on importance and need. Not to be confused with your beliefs, which are basically assumptions that we take to be true. Tension can arise when two important values come into play and create a feeling of conflict, when it comes to making important decisions. For instance, whether to stay in a job that is no longer satisfying and boring for security reasons and because that’s how it’s been there for years. Or go for a new job or lifestyle where it would be possible to express more creativity and independence, although it’s risking financial security.

In a case like this, there may be several conflicting beliefs, feelings and circumstances that need to be managed. More often than not, a person can feel pulled in different directions and this makes choosing the correct mindset and attitude challenging. Values come from the heart and beliefs come from the head. So the challenge is finding a happy medium that makes resetting our minds easier.

To do this, prioritizing and updating your values is very important because situations and options are changing all the time, as we grow and expand. Here’s an example! A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be happier and healthier and release the struggle that seem to always appear. So I sat down and did an evaluation and prioritization of my values. One of my top three priorities was ‘security’. Imagine my astonishment when I realized that happiness and health were not even in my top 10! So I had to shift my beliefs around ‘being safe’ and looking at ‘happiness and health’ in a new way. This change in priorities and values, helped me shift my thinking and establish a new mindset, that incorporated all of these values.

Here is a short exercise to help you identify your top 10 core values are:
Sit down and write down the first things that come to mind that are important to you in your life. (If you need examples of values, just google values and you can find lists to draw from.)

  1. Rank them from 1 to 10 with 1 being the most important and 10 the least.
  2. Then ask yourself if these are still valid for you?
  3. Are these values truly your own?
  4. When sorted, ask if there are any ‘new’ values that you wish to add? Add and rank them.
  5. Reflect on what has come up and also write down any of the beliefs that may have popped up. For example, health depends on genetic make-up; or if I am happy people will think I am selfish etc.
  6. If the values identified are not in your top 10, I invite you to add them in. Then sit back and watch what shows up.
  7. Repeat often.

Actively participating in setting our values, helps to prioritize and activate them in both the conscious and subconscious mind. This dynamic is what fuels a powerful and positive intention, attitude and mindset. Having a valuable mindset, requires adding value to our lives and ensuring when and how our mindset serves us best as we grow and expand.

Much Love, Trilby

p.s. Would you like a great resource of original inspiration to support shifting your thinking? My book ‘A-Ha Moments’ is available online and will support you in having your own a-ha moments.


Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She supports conscious and forward-thinking individuals to move from pain to resolution by resolving the core imbalances that destabilize and limit them, leaving them stuck in the muck of trauma and pain. When they connect the essence of who they truly are, they realize and align with their full potential and live happy, healthy and successful lives, on their own terms.

 

Website : http://www.trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com
Email: info@trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com

 

Mirror, Mirror – By Donna Davis

Article Written By Donna Davis

 

Can you do it? Can you really look at yourself in the mirror?  Not a passing glance to check your teeth, your hair or your outfit.  I’m talking about looking directly into your eyes.

This may not be an easy feat.  Some might say it’s actually ridiculous. My question is Why? Why is so odd to take a few minutes, look directly into your own eyes and send yourself some loving, happy thoughts?  Maybe even some gratitude?

With all you do, manage and juggle, why is it that you seem to be last on your list for a good word or a smile – just for YOU?

Why have we become so complacent with the fact that so many others have opinions about and expectations of us that we have very little to no time to show our own selves some kindness?

Is it really so hard to find one good thing to say about yourself-to yourself?

When was the last time that you checked in with how you were feeling? REALLY feeling. Not the superficial day-to-day, mundane, autopilot response or routine?

Do you have a minute or two just for you? Is it really all that difficult? Seriously. 60 seconds. You can try almost anything for 60 seconds.

I dare you! I dare you to set a timer, look into your own eyes and say –in an honest, meaningful way, one kind truth about yourself and share a smile with the most important person in your life-YOU!

This may seem strange at first or even uncomfortable. Instead of questioning why you should be kind to yourself, why not question why you haven’t been. What has gotten in the way?  What has beaten you down? When did time become such a limited resource and how did YOU get taken out of the equation? What has you so distracted that is seemingly more important than you?

Have we allowed ourselves to get so caught up in pleasing others or wanting their approval that we have starved ourselves from our own attention and priority? It has been so easy for dream stealers and bullies to wear us down to the point of our very self-esteem being on the endangered list. Most of the time its subliminal, cultural and very social.  Its all over the internet. Do you measure up? Are you good enough? How much multitasking can you do? How many hours can you put in? Can you dress like them or act like her or fit in with all the Jones’ that are left, right and center? After a while, this can have you wondering “Which way is up!?”

This doesn’t have to be the case.  It’s time to reconnect. Find the you that has always been there. The you that needs time and attention and love.  Learn to be there for you. Even when not many others are or can be. We are all trying to fit in, get ahead, do the best we can. Most times it’s a struggle and takes a lot out of us. What is left inside?

Take a look.  Look into those tired, weary eyes and somewhere behind all that doubt and fear and pain – is the vulnerable, beautiful you that has been waiting –waiting for you to take notice- to spare a moment or two and a kind word- and a smile.  Nothing extravagant. Something so simple and meaningful. Something so special and necessary that it can actually be magical! It can work wonders to build your self-esteem back up to somewhere higher than it has ever been, higher than you thought possible.  It’s time to love yourself again – or even for the first time. You matter. You are worth it. You have been waiting.  Waiting for permission, for approval for the very love than you need and have been seeking elsewhere.  Very rarely do we find it so completely and easily from outside of ourselves. We try over and over again in vain until we finally realize it has been inside us all along.  It’s time to connect with that, to pay attention to that, to smile at that.

It’s not too late. You can be your own best friend, your own best cheerleader, your own best ally. It’s what the very essence of you needs. Can you be the one to provide it for yourself?

So, can you do it? Can you really look at yourself in the mirror?  I think you can.  If it’s hard for you to do at first you can use the virtual smile that I’m sending to you right now. Keep it somewhere safe, perhaps in your heart. And whenever you can’t seem to find one of your own, remember that you have a spare one that I sent over to you.  Take good care of it, match it with your own and then you will have two, just in case you have a rough day. And while I’m thinking about it…here…have a hug. The next time that you look in the mirror- bring out the smile and the hug and you’ll be sure to have a better day!  🙂

Much Love, Donna xx


About Donna Davis:

As The Menopause Fairy I now help other women fine tune their lives as they discover their “A-HA MOMENTS” and discover happiness and pursue their true purpose. Over the years I have had the honor and privilege of helping women all over the world get clear on their dreams and goals while helping and supporting them as they found their balanced hormonal health and peace. Find out more at: http://themenopausefairy.com/

Empowering & Reclaiming Self – Written By Jo Cruise

Article Written By Jo Cruise

Self-esteem is the value that we place upon ourselves. It’s our emotional and mental thought processes that can either cultivate a healthy or damaging sense of self-worth.

Developing sturdy self-esteem is vital for our all-round emotional, psychological and emotional well-being. So, what can jeopardise this and how does this impact our overall perception of self?

Self-esteem is a by-product, a symptom of something much more deeply rooted in our spiritual psyche. When we feel whole and complete all aspects of our emotional, mental and spiritual aspects are functioning in harmony. It’s as though we’re flowing in tune with the Divine ebb and flow of life. We feel a sense of connection, direction and inspiration and everything we do comes from our inner knowing of self and our place in the Universe.

Here, there is only love, and the self as a Divine reflection can only ever feel worthy. So, what can break this connection? How can our spirit become fractured? Over the years I’ve worked in many different settings; community mental health teams, drug and alcohol services, domestic violence outreach programmes and more and I’ve helped many people reacquaint their relationship to self. I believe this journey also encompasses a re-connection to their spiritual aspect and higher self.

But, it’s often a difficult path to navigate. For example, everyone’s heard the saying ‘the dark night of the soul’, this can be the pre-cursor of a re-integration of self through a series of soul shifts. It can also drive a person to the outer most reaches of self, a lonely and desolate place. Anyone who’s ventured to these outlands of the ‘shadow self’ know what this means for the self.

This is a place of dis-empowerment, there exists here a feeling of dis-embodiment from the self, where the spirit has receded and the person feels broken and lost. A growing feeling of disconnection emerges and this adversely affects self-worth. I know, because I’ve journeyed to that place. I’ve stood on the precipice of the gaping black hole and fallen deeply into it.

This resulted in my own reclamation of self and happened because my soul felt abandoned by my mind, body and spirit. Of course, my soul never abandoned me, it waited patiently always with me, bearing witness to the pain and suffering I was enduring. But, from this place, which sounds a stark and cold reality, something was happening. I was undergoing a transformation and the time came when I was ready to swim through the turbulent waters and resurface. Finally, leaving the depths of my shadow outlands behind.

This metamorphosis happened because I underwent a cataclysmic erosion of self and it was only when I pulled myself back up that I realised this is what had happened. Now, many years later my sense of self is very different. I’ve healed and grown through these experiences and have used them to positively impact the lives of others.

As a survivor of life, I understand how I can utilise my personal power and autonomy to help others. I don’t think there’s anything more inhumane than ignoring the plight of those you’re able to empower, enable and encourage. I’m an advocate and inspirer and I believe that’s what we should all be, even more so if we have experienced difficulties in life. Our struggles and survival through them, gives hope to others. Overcoming challenges demonstrates that there is always an opportunity to grow and evolve through our shadow times and that is invaluable.

When we transmute our pain to inspire others and help them to develop a closer, loving relationship with the heart and soul of who they are, we are privileged to be able to do so. The human journey is a life-long lesson in getting to know ourselves. A lot of the time we arrive at that knowledge through the relationships we develop with other people. But, it’s only when we realise our own worth that the value of our life becomes a sacred series of lessons. Each one allowing us to explore our inner world in a little more detail. If we give ourselves permission to feel unconditional love for ourselves, without judgement and without fear we are arriving close to the truth of who we are.

Thank you so much for reading, much love

Jo xx


About Jo:

Jo Cruise Coach and Mentor

For over 20 years Jo has been enabling people to reclaim their authentic self, through integrating the; mind, body, spiritual and emotional dimensions of their lives. She empowers her clients to regain more clarity, confidence and courage to birth their inspired ideas into the world. Helping them achieve the personal success and fulfilment they deserve.

www.joannecruise.co.uk

www.Instagram.com/joanne_cruise

www.twitter.com/Jo_Crui

 

 

Why Chasing Success Will Kill You!

Aahhhh the sweet smell of success! The constant reminders every two minutes in our Facebook feeds with sponsored ads flashing out their promises of teaching you how to make 6 figures in 6 minutes and having a freedom lifestyle.

Selling to your heart desires and triggering your emotions by using clever marketing tactics, these ads forget to mention the ball breaking hard work and daily application of what it really takes to build strong foundations in a business that will stay standing for generations to come.

They forget to mention the MASSIVE risks you have to take, the responsibility you have to shoulder along the way and how you have to completely transform your personality in order to transform your reality…..Yeah! They kinda forget to mention the REAL hard work part.

So, instead, people fall hook line and sinker into the ads and walk blindly into what’s about to come. They start implementing what is taught to them and it starts to succeed and they have a rush of success and money, and SUDDENLY out of nowhere like a thief in the night, WHAMMMMMMMM!!! … You are hit with huge blows!

Suddenly you have a tonne of responsibility, you have a payroll to your staff to pay, you have so many people looking to you to make MASSIVE decisions every day in order to keep things moving. The anxiety burns up in your chest and throat, you feel like you have to work bigger, faster, quicker, stronger, longer each week.

I mean, after all, you have a reputation and staff to keep right?…… But then suddenly! You start to feel like you are stuck on this God forsaken hamster wheel, what have you created? This isn’t living your passion! This is working stupid hours each week with tonnes of responsibility and people to lead and answer to and you are making less an hour then you worked in corporate???

Nobody mentioned this in the course I signed up for??????…. Nobody mentioned in their shiny Facebook advert that I would be freaking and pulling my hair out by the end of the year! How the f**k am I suppose to handle all this? .. (then your immune system takes a beating) and before you know it you are hit with many illnesses, sometimes one after the other or all at once. What the f**k happen on this journey? Why did nobody warn me about this? Why does it same like one thing after another is against me? …. I JUST DONT GET IT! THIS IS NOT LIVING YOUR PASSION, THIS IS SLOW DEATH TORTURE!!!!!!!

Yes, I hear you! I hear every single question you are asking, why? Because I was that person. I totally experienced the above (and a whole load more) on my journey of building my international publishing company. Within 10 months I was riding my way to 7 figures, had a full team and assistants for my every need and was working with TV personalities, award winning film directors and News readers to help publish and market their books to best seller status. I helped over 350 clients hit the best sellers list in under 3 years and had 18 best selling books of my own under my belt, along with bad health, declining passion and a human body that had turned into a robot that was running a hamster wheel and shouldering masses of responsibility that was wearing me down to zero!

Was I really doing this for others? Or was I feeding my big fat ego to feel like a somebody? To feel important and to be idolized? … Was I really seeing that my business foundations were built on chasing success rather than building a legacy?

I was so BLIND! I was chasing success and it was killing me, far from softly! It was killing me harshly every single day! .. I had NOBODY telling me in every training course I did, in every program I signed up for, in every book I would read, and every session with every coach I had, I had NOBODY teaching me the powerful grounded principles that I would need to learn in order to build strong foundations that will build a legacy of a life time. Nobody shared that with me when they were taking money from my credit card…. NONE!

It’s something I had to learn myself and it came to me one day 2 years ago and hit me like a gigantic piece of wood around the head! SLAM! … There I lay in bed with a bad infection in my lungs and unable to climb the stairs without practically coughing up a lung watching a speaker on a Youtube video, I have no idea why I was drawn to her that day, I just decided to watch this particular video and her words hit me. It was in that moment my eyeballs opened wide and I said OH MY GOSH! I had been doing it WRONG for so LONG!

She repeated the same sentence twice, and each time my hair stood up on end and my goosebumps doubled in size on my arms. This was a massive revelation! I could see for the first time in years what I had been doing wrong. Why I was knackered, ill and completely drained! Why all this stuff was happening to me, and what I had to do to put it so right.

Within 24 hours of watching that video, I made the biggest decision in the world, that was to walk away from the publishing company, let my team go and place myself and my health first. I took 5 months away from the online industry and spent that time just being a mum, wife, grandma and spirituality student. I studied daily and continued to look after myself and my health started to improve along with me gaining my strength back daily.

I woke up one morning to the vision of creating an online digital magazine, I had zero clue how to create it or make it happen and no idea how to design a magazine, let alone have a team to hand to do it. I just knew I had to create the vision that God had planted in my mind… So I did.

The Missing Piece Magazine was born on January 17th, 2017, it has saved people’s lives, help people move forward from even the toughest of situations and it has a team of 31 amazing coaches from all across the world who write and create articles on a monthly basis to help others. We have grown from strength to strength and have over 14,000 followers on social media and subscribers who love our content so much! Because it changes lives!

So what really did peel me back up off that floor when I needed it the most? What did that woman say on that YouTube video to enable me to be the tower of strength?? .. What was it?

Her words were “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.”
~ 1 Peter 5:6

BOOM! There it was! … We can chase success as much as we like, but until HE decides you’re worthy, you will be going around in circles for centuries. Until YOU really start to understand strong spiritual principles and live by them, study them and become them every single day, then you will be STILL going around in circles for centuries.

Now, before you start with the “She is a religious nut job” judgement, I spent my childhood growing up in a pagan household, made a tonne of mistakes in my 20’s and was a drug addict and self-harming by the time I was 25. After I stopped taking drugs at 25 I hit the bottle and depended on alcohol for another 10 years, which lead to 1 domestic violence relationship after another. Until I took my journey to self-discovery and faced all my demons of my past abuse in childhood and adulthood. I thought I knew quite a lot considering how far I had come on my journey of self-discovery and my success, but the truth was I knew SHIT, and I had YET MORE to learn.

The past two years have been truly an amazing growth period and I have learned what it REALLY takes to succeed in business to leave a legacy and what it really takes to equip others with the true principles of building a strong foundation in your life and business… I am living proof!

Next year (2018) myself and my business partner Kim B.Smith will start to teach these principles to people in events all across the globe and hosting a powerful retreat once a year!

I am so excited for what is to come and to finally shine a beacon of light upon all the business owners in the world, who like me once upon a time felt like they were drowning and have zero clues why?

It’s time for this to be taught, it’s time for people to build legacies and love every minute of it!

It’s great to be back from vacation after marrying my awesome partner! And thank you so much for taking time to read reading this!

God Bless, your friend for this journey,

Kate xx

SELF-ESTEEM

Written By Doneane Beckcom

When people meet me for the first time and learn about who I am, what all I do, and my many accomplishments, they have no idea that I ever struggled with self-esteem, stemming from being bullied from middle school all the way through college. My parents were wonderful at instilling in me the drive to succeed and that I could do anything I set my mind to; however, being bullied by people who were supposed to be my friends tore me down and made me feel self-conscious of my physical appearance.

I was one of those girls who was a very late bloomer. I shot up to 5’7” at about age 12, but I only weighed about 80 pounds and had no shape whatsoever. I towered over both the girls and boys from 6th grade until about 8th grade when they all started to catch up. But, when all of my girlfriends were starting to look more like women, I looked like a tall, skinny little boy. Even into high school, I still was thin and had no womanly curves whatsoever. Even my girlfriends made fun of me (I remember my best friend at the time telling me “something is wrong with you!”), and of course as the boys’ thoughts turned sexual, many of them chimed in also. This followed me all the way through my senior year in college, when it was mostly the young men who continued to taunt me. The last football season of my college years, when I was proud and honored to be the very first female Drum Major of our famed marching band, the band fraternity got together and bought me a big pair of fake plastic boobs and unveiled them after half time at the last game. I was mortified. I was a good sport though, and donned them as I conducted the fight song one last time. Whomever has pictures of this debacle I sure hope they have burned them by now!

When I left college and moved away, the feeling of looking inadequate as a young woman still haunted me, even though I was no longer being teased and bullied by anyone. I found out that I had some hormonal issues and suffered from fibrocystic breast disease, which had affected the growth of breast tissue and caused reproductive issues for me. After some treatment with medications, I opted to have a surgical procedure which removed about half of the breast tissue I had at the time (which was not much, I was not even an A cup at the time) and replaced it with implants. Of course, because of having been teased for so many years, I opted to have larger implants so that I would look “normal.” It was nothing drastic, I had a wonderful reconstructive surgeon who understood my concerns and made me look proportional and natural (I ended up as a small C cup which was perfect for my frame). I was finally happy with the way I looked and no longer concerned that anyone would tease me about my chest.

That surgery was 30 years ago. But when I think back on the people who taunted me and the things that were said, it is as if it was yesterday. Although it was partially medically necessary, it was also mental and cosmetic for me. And it is a shame that I had to feel that way about my appearance based on what other people said and did. And out of all of the many people who participated in the teasing through the years, only one of them ever apologized. It was a college guy, he was friends with my boyfriend at that time (who did not step up to defend me when his “brothers” taunted me, and yes I kicked him to the curb quickly!) and he tearfully confessed how horrible he felt for the things he had done and said to me and asked for forgiveness. Of course I accepted his apology and forgave him, but what about all those others who said and did awful things? Do they ever think about the 12-year-old girl or young college-aged woman they teased and how it made her feel? Were they bullied also and that is why they lashed out at me? These are things that I still ponder on occasion, especially when I hear about a young woman or man harming themselves because of being bullied. My daughter lost a close friend to suicide when they were only 13 years old, he had been bullied by other boys in the locker room and killed himself when he lost hope that no one would make them stop. He is only one of many that we hear about all over the world who lose hope because of being bullied.

So what is the take away here? First, if you have been bullied and your self esteem has been trampled upon, know that it is not your fault. Seek help from a trusted friend or a counselor if you cannot shake the feelings of inadequacy that bullying can manifest in your thoughts. Next, if you are a parent of a young child, start early in not only uplifting them, but also teaching them not to tease others and to tell an adult if they know someone is being teased or bullied. Innocent teasing can hurt just as bad as intentional bullying. Had my parents not been so supportive and uplifting of me, always assuring me that I was beautiful and smart and could do anything, I cannot imagine how things may have been different. Last and most important, if you suspect or know that your child (or a friend of your child) has been bullied, step in! Get to the bottom of it, request a meeting with teacher, counselor, parent of the bully, anyone and everyone in order to stop and correct the behavior. Some children may not reach out to a parent or other adult, but may reach out to your child, so if your child tells you about another child being bullied, please step in. You may be the only adult who does anything about it and prevents tragedy from happening.

Self esteem can be fragile. Handle with care, always, whether it is yours or that of someone else. Once damaged, it can be very difficult to repair and may take years to overcome the pain. Even those of us who appear strong and like we “have it all together” on the outside can still be the hurt and scared child who was bullied years ago.

Thank you so much for reading, much love

Doneane Beckcom
CEO, Bold Radio Station
Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist
Fitness Nutrition Consulting, LLC

PUT THE BITCH IN THE BOX!

Article Written By Wendy Hutchinson

 

Ever since I can remember I’ve had this voice in my head telling me what I could and couldn’t do. She cast a shadow on my self-esteem feeding me stories about my weight, my looks, my intelligence, my earning potential and so much more. She held me down forever and every time she whispered in my ear I believed her. Play it safe, stay small, no one wants to hear your opinion, and the worst insult of all, you don’t matter. I named her “The Bitch” and what a bitch she was.   I listened to all her lies and believed in my limited potential.  One day I recognized her for who she was, she was a deceiver and deal breaker and I broke free of her and I said, “that’s enough”!    I believed the deceit was truth.  The bitch kept me from becoming everything I dared to dream.  I could run down a list of ways I fell short in my life faster than ice cream melted on a hot summer day.   I had no idea how pervasive that EGO/bitch was until I started to pay attention.

The bitch kept me living small and safe by creating just enough doubt and fear to hold me captive. She was also smothering my spirit and my dreams.  And then, something magical happened, I put that bitch in a box and I put a huge black iron padlock on it.   That act of defiance was something so powerful, it surprised even me.  I began piece by piece finding my way back to my authentic self.  I started to feel at a soul level, the truth of who I am.  I saw that I could be fearless and strong.  I saw that I could take risks because I felt called to help others in my coaching and energy healing.  The bitch would try to come out occasionally and rattle the cage, but I was not having it and back in the box she would go.  I realized that nothing was going to keep me from taking the next step on my journey.  I felt the stirring of something so much bigger than what I had allowed myself to believe possible.  There was only one way to step into my power and it required a major shift in the story I was telling myself.

This shift happened gradually.  At first, I began noticing how often I was telling myself ways I didn’t measure up.  Then, I had a daring and provocative thought, which was, I am not my thoughts!  I made a radical decision.  I decided it was time that I started honoring and loving myself because if I didn’t, who would?  I asked myself who am I really?  What do I enjoy?  Everyone has one thing that brings them joy, be it cooking, reading, travel, dance, working out, or spending time with friends.  It could be something simple like sleeping in or a great latte on a Saturday morning. That is where I began to find my way back to my soul, the soul that was the essence of me.    Through this process of rediscovering what lit my soul on fire, I began to blossom and the fabric of my life became this rich tapestry of experiences.  I began to explore new places with my husband.  I was reading books that inspired me, excited me, and set me on a spiritual path.  I discovered a love of yoga and being outdoors on walks with my dog.  I became very intentional about the kind of life I wanted to live.   I created a perfect balance of work and play. I wanted to connect to people who were interested in changing the world by following their passions and just as I put that energy out there, the Universe began to deliver those people through synchronicity and circumstance.  The more I focused on things that brought me joy, the more aligned I felt, attracting experiences, opportunities and people that resonated with me.

As I became more authentic in who I was, I stepped away from the person everyone else wanted me to be. I learned to set boundaries. I learned to put myself first and realized this wasn’t a selfish act as I had been programmed to believe.  It was healthy to honor myself.  Once I respected myself and my time, people fell away or fell in line. At first, I was sad to see the people I cared so deeply about falling away. As I began to step fully onto my path and into my power, I realized it had to happen to make room for the people who were going to come forward and lift me up and hold my hand as I pursued my dreams. The friends who said I’m here for you, I love you, I think you are doing great work were the ones I needed in my life. There is no room in my life for people jaded by their own cowardice and insecurity creating doubt and fear around what I am doing.  I am including family members here. Yes, I have stepped so fully into my power, there is no room in my life for negativity, even if you are a blood relative. The people I want in my life are going to treat me with respect, and love and dignity. It’s people who The bitch kept me living small and safe by creating just enough doubt and fear to hold me captive. She was also smothering my spirit and my dreams.  And then, something magical happened, I put that bitch in a box and I put a huge black iron padlock on it.   That act of defiance was something so powerful, it surprised even me.  I began piece by piece finding my way back to my authentic self.  I started to feel at a soul level, the truth of who I am.  I saw that I could be fearless and strong.  I saw that I could take risks because I felt called to help others in my coaching and energy healing.  The bitch would try to come out occasionally and rattle the cage, but I was not having it and back in the box she would go. I realized that nothing was going to keep me from taking the next step on my journey. I felt the stirring of something so much bigger than what I had allowed myself to believe possible. There was only one way to step into my power and it required a major shift in the story I was telling myself.

continue to create drama and try to suck me in, that I respectfully side step and have minimized contact with.

There is no reason to approach life as a victim of circumstance. Being a victim is disempowering. It creates a mentality of helplessness and resignation.  You can languish in the mental wasteland of what if scenarios and what will people think bullshit or you can stop wasting time in the space of doubt and fear. Put your bitch in a box and lock her down, now is the time to let your light shine.

Until next time, much love

Wendy xx


About Wendy Hutchinson:

Alinea Life Coaching

www.alinealifecoaching.com

TEL: 619-246-5948