Article Written By Trilby Johnson
“Mind what you are saying, especially about and to yourself.
Because you always tend to believe it.”
– Trilby Johnson
Mindset, is all about the stories we tell ourselves as well as what motives us when making the decisions and taking the actions we do. Our mindset consists of belief systems that we learn as children and that will inform much of our lives as adults. Beliefs are the mental building blocks we have that help us to make sense of the world around us and which many use to draw meaning about their lives from. Mindset is important because it fuels our attitudes and the way it which we respond to situations and other people and it helps us to form habits.
For much of our lives, we operate from these conscious and subconscious mindsets. Depending on the quality of the predominant mindset however, as we go through different life stages, situations and experiences, a specific mindset which may have been suitable and effective beforehand, no longer offers the most appropriate results and outcomes and may require reassessment and updating to something new.
Sounds straightforward for sure. Yet many people struggle with this. Firstly, because these mindsets are often operating on a subconscious level as well as being habitual and automatic behaviours and responses. And so whilst a person may really desire to change a specific belief and attitude, they may experience resistance. For instance, a person who lacks self-confidence may desire to feel more confident. And so they may choose to believe they are more confident and there may even be an improvement in their confidence levels – like the ‘fake it till you make it’ slogan. This may work for a while. However, faking it will not be sustainable for very long and often the older more habitual mindset can pull them down. This is the reason that in my opinion and experience, positive affirmations can only take someone so far, before there needs to be another shift to the next level.
Image courtesy of pixabay.com
To experience mindset in an evergreen way, there is more to mindset than mere beliefs. They are indeed the building blocks to how we choose to function in the world. Yet humans are also sentient beings and so much of our prioritizing is based on our value system, which is the foundation of our building blocks. This aspect is often overlooked when it comes to wanting to install new belief patterns. The reason, in my experience, that there can be so much resistance is because when our values and our beliefs are not in alignment, we experience resistance and feel that we have to force or struggle in life.
Our values are a set of core principles that we use in making decision across our lives and are based on importance and need. Not to be confused with your beliefs, which are basically assumptions that we take to be true. Tension can arise when two important values come into play and create a feeling of conflict, when it comes to making important decisions. For instance, whether to stay in a job that is no longer satisfying and boring for security reasons and because that’s how it’s been there for years. Or go for a new job or lifestyle where it would be possible to express more creativity and independence, although it’s risking financial security.
In a case like this, there may be several conflicting beliefs, feelings and circumstances that need to be managed. More often than not, a person can feel pulled in different directions and this makes choosing the correct mindset and attitude challenging. Values come from the heart and beliefs come from the head. So the challenge is finding a happy medium that makes resetting our minds easier.
To do this, prioritizing and updating your values is very important because situations and options are changing all the time, as we grow and expand. Here’s an example! A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be happier and healthier and release the struggle that seem to always appear. So I sat down and did an evaluation and prioritization of my values. One of my top three priorities was ‘security’. Imagine my astonishment when I realized that happiness and health were not even in my top 10! So I had to shift my beliefs around ‘being safe’ and looking at ‘happiness and health’ in a new way. This change in priorities and values, helped me shift my thinking and establish a new mindset, that incorporated all of these values.
Here is a short exercise to help you identify your top 10 core values are:
Sit down and write down the first things that come to mind that are important to you in your life. (If you need examples of values, just google values and you can find lists to draw from.)
- Rank them from 1 to 10 with 1 being the most important and 10 the least.
- Then ask yourself if these are still valid for you?
- Are these values truly your own?
- When sorted, ask if there are any ‘new’ values that you wish to add? Add and rank them.
- Reflect on what has come up and also write down any of the beliefs that may have popped up. For example, health depends on genetic make-up; or if I am happy people will think I am selfish etc.
- If the values identified are not in your top 10, I invite you to add them in. Then sit back and watch what shows up.
- Repeat often.
Actively participating in setting our values, helps to prioritize and activate them in both the conscious and subconscious mind. This dynamic is what fuels a powerful and positive intention, attitude and mindset. Having a valuable mindset, requires adding value to our lives and ensuring when and how our mindset serves us best as we grow and expand.
Much Love, Trilby
p.s. Would you like a great resource of original inspiration to support shifting your thinking? My book ‘A-Ha Moments’ is available online and will support you in having your own a-ha moments.
Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She supports conscious and forward-thinking individuals to move from pain to resolution by resolving the core imbalances that destabilize and limit them, leaving them stuck in the muck of trauma and pain. When they connect the essence of who they truly are, they realize and align with their full potential and live happy, healthy and successful lives, on their own terms.
Article Written By Donna Davis
Can you do it? Can you really look at yourself in the mirror? Not a passing glance to check your teeth, your hair or your outfit. I’m talking about looking directly into your eyes.
This may not be an easy feat. Some might say it’s actually ridiculous. My question is Why? Why is so odd to take a few minutes, look directly into your own eyes and send yourself some loving, happy thoughts? Maybe even some gratitude?
With all you do, manage and juggle, why is it that you seem to be last on your list for a good word or a smile – just for YOU?
Why have we become so complacent with the fact that so many others have opinions about and expectations of us that we have very little to no time to show our own selves some kindness?
Is it really so hard to find one good thing to say about yourself-to yourself?
When was the last time that you checked in with how you were feeling? REALLY feeling. Not the superficial day-to-day, mundane, autopilot response or routine?
Do you have a minute or two just for you? Is it really all that difficult? Seriously. 60 seconds. You can try almost anything for 60 seconds.
I dare you! I dare you to set a timer, look into your own eyes and say –in an honest, meaningful way, one kind truth about yourself and share a smile with the most important person in your life-YOU!
This may seem strange at first or even uncomfortable. Instead of questioning why you should be kind to yourself, why not question why you haven’t been. What has gotten in the way? What has beaten you down? When did time become such a limited resource and how did YOU get taken out of the equation? What has you so distracted that is seemingly more important than you?
Have we allowed ourselves to get so caught up in pleasing others or wanting their approval that we have starved ourselves from our own attention and priority? It has been so easy for dream stealers and bullies to wear us down to the point of our very self-esteem being on the endangered list. Most of the time its subliminal, cultural and very social. Its all over the internet. Do you measure up? Are you good enough? How much multitasking can you do? How many hours can you put in? Can you dress like them or act like her or fit in with all the Jones’ that are left, right and center? After a while, this can have you wondering “Which way is up!?”
This doesn’t have to be the case. It’s time to reconnect. Find the you that has always been there. The you that needs time and attention and love. Learn to be there for you. Even when not many others are or can be. We are all trying to fit in, get ahead, do the best we can. Most times it’s a struggle and takes a lot out of us. What is left inside?
Take a look. Look into those tired, weary eyes and somewhere behind all that doubt and fear and pain – is the vulnerable, beautiful you that has been waiting –waiting for you to take notice- to spare a moment or two and a kind word- and a smile. Nothing extravagant. Something so simple and meaningful. Something so special and necessary that it can actually be magical! It can work wonders to build your self-esteem back up to somewhere higher than it has ever been, higher than you thought possible. It’s time to love yourself again – or even for the first time. You matter. You are worth it. You have been waiting. Waiting for permission, for approval for the very love than you need and have been seeking elsewhere. Very rarely do we find it so completely and easily from outside of ourselves. We try over and over again in vain until we finally realize it has been inside us all along. It’s time to connect with that, to pay attention to that, to smile at that.
It’s not too late. You can be your own best friend, your own best cheerleader, your own best ally. It’s what the very essence of you needs. Can you be the one to provide it for yourself?
So, can you do it? Can you really look at yourself in the mirror? I think you can. If it’s hard for you to do at first you can use the virtual smile that I’m sending to you right now. Keep it somewhere safe, perhaps in your heart. And whenever you can’t seem to find one of your own, remember that you have a spare one that I sent over to you. Take good care of it, match it with your own and then you will have two, just in case you have a rough day. And while I’m thinking about it…here…have a hug. The next time that you look in the mirror- bring out the smile and the hug and you’ll be sure to have a better day! 🙂
Much Love, Donna xx
About Donna Davis:
As The Menopause Fairy I now help other women fine tune their lives as they discover their “A-HA MOMENTS” and discover happiness and pursue their true purpose. Over the years I have had the honor and privilege of helping women all over the world get clear on their dreams and goals while helping and supporting them as they found their balanced hormonal health and peace. Find out more at: http://themenopausefairy.com/
Written By Desirėe Toldo
Stubborn. Loud. Introverted. Passionate. Inquisitive. Precise. Frank. Seven words that capture the essence of who I am.
Seven words are what you need to learn what you believe about who you are. I often find that the words we use to describe ourselves find their origins in labels assigned to us so early on that they seem branded into our souls.
Our self esteems are so rooted in the opinions and words of others from such an early age, that by the time we are able to conceptualize our own self-image we are already so inundated with ideas about who we are that its difficult to separate who we are from who people think we are. We are a compilation of layers and layers of labels that ultimately create our self-concept; good, bad, or fierce.
So, who am I?
I am stubborn. The word comes to mind first because next to “Desirée”, its what I’m called most often. Being stubborn means you don’t accept an answer just because it’s an answer. It means you push beyond the point when most people stopped pushing. It means sometimes (lots of times?) you get yourself in trouble. But ultimately it means that you believe in something so strongly you’d stake a trip to Disney on it—belief like that is invaluable.
I am loud. I often say that I have no volume control, but being loud is to be expected when you’re a Cuban Italian girl from New York. Loud just comes with the territory. I speak loudly, I laugh loudly, I even sleep loudly. Our voices are the strongest tool we could possibly be armed with. Having a loud voice doesn’t always mean you will be listened to, but make no mistake, you will be heard.
I am introverted. If that’s not juxtaposition, I don’t know what is—loud and introverted. How can that be? I may have a loud voice, but my soul is quiet. I thrive in familiar settings with lots of books and snacks. I would choose a night in over a night out any given night. I’m the oldest 23-year-old I know and I love it. Being introverted forces you to step outside of your comfort zone quite often. You are faced with challenges that an extrovert wouldn’t give a second thought to, which means that you have the opportunity to overcome challenges often—its quite empowering.
I am passionate. I become even louder than normal when I begin talking about something that I’m passionate about (teaching, Disney, the Harry Potter series, food, etc.). My passion has afforded me a career, an opportunity to write my experiences down to be read across the world, a successful relationship, a stocked fridge…the list goes on. Passion is what fuels the soul—it’s the fortitude of your belief in something that drives you to pursue it at all costs. When it comes to your passion, stubborn isn’t a bad thing to be— never accept the answer you don’t want, always pursue your passion, always keep pushing.
I am inquisitive. I always have a follow-up question. Always. If I could swing it, being a student would be my fulltime job. I love to learn and I am always looking for something new to discover. If the family of one of my students speaks a language I am unfamiliar with, I research it—that’s how I discovered that the Igbo language is spoken in parts of Nigeria. If I come across a word I don’t know, I look it up—that’s how I learned what the word “tenable” meant after reading it on the back of a security guard’s shirt. I am always asking questions—of those around me, of my environment, of myself. Being inquisitive means never being satisfied with the amount of knowledge in your brain’s filing cabinets. There is always more to seek—knowledge truly is power and the more you know the stronger you can be.
I am precise. Some would say controlling, I say precise because I am precise. For example, there is an exact science to making a bed the right way—two pillows per side of the bed, the sheet and blankets must be folded four inches down and there must be the exact right amount of pillow showing out from under the comforter on top (or what I like to call pillow cleavage), all to be demolished within seconds of getting into bed. Precise. Maybe also neurotic, but definitely precise. For me, precision is calming—its organized, its dependable, and it creates a standard that can be met and a goal that can be achieved, even on days when making the bed might be the only goal you feel you can meet—and there’s nothing more satisfying than turning down your bed and jumping in after a hard day.
I am frank. I could have said honest, but my dad’s name is Frank, so hi Dad, I’m frank too. Candor is not something I lack—in my mind, its better to say directly what you mean than to have people translate what they think you mean for you. It’s the most dangerous game of telephone you can play. To be frank means knowing where the line lies between the brutality and dignity of honesty and not crossing it. To be able to say what you mean and mean what you say is crucial to your integrity and is a skill that must always be practiced.
When you think about who you are, about your self-image, what are the first seven words that come to mind? Are they positive? Negative? Critical? More than half of my seven words have been used as criticisms towards me—I’m too stubborn or too loud or too introverted or too precise, yet I use those words to build up my self-image rather than tear it down. What others perceive as our greatest character flaws have the potential to become our strengths, our most brilliant qualities. I challenge you to always find the very best in your seven words and beyond. After all, they are yours and nobody else’s.
It’s nice to meet you. Who are you?
Much love Desirėe xx
About Desirėe Toldo:
Article Written By Jo Cruise
Self-esteem is the value that we place upon ourselves. It’s our emotional and mental thought processes that can either cultivate a healthy or damaging sense of self-worth.
Developing sturdy self-esteem is vital for our all-round emotional, psychological and emotional well-being. So, what can jeopardise this and how does this impact our overall perception of self?
Self-esteem is a by-product, a symptom of something much more deeply rooted in our spiritual psyche. When we feel whole and complete all aspects of our emotional, mental and spiritual aspects are functioning in harmony. It’s as though we’re flowing in tune with the Divine ebb and flow of life. We feel a sense of connection, direction and inspiration and everything we do comes from our inner knowing of self and our place in the Universe.
Here, there is only love, and the self as a Divine reflection can only ever feel worthy. So, what can break this connection? How can our spirit become fractured? Over the years I’ve worked in many different settings; community mental health teams, drug and alcohol services, domestic violence outreach programmes and more and I’ve helped many people reacquaint their relationship to self. I believe this journey also encompasses a re-connection to their spiritual aspect and higher self.
But, it’s often a difficult path to navigate. For example, everyone’s heard the saying ‘the dark night of the soul’, this can be the pre-cursor of a re-integration of self through a series of soul shifts. It can also drive a person to the outer most reaches of self, a lonely and desolate place. Anyone who’s ventured to these outlands of the ‘shadow self’ know what this means for the self.
This is a place of dis-empowerment, there exists here a feeling of dis-embodiment from the self, where the spirit has receded and the person feels broken and lost. A growing feeling of disconnection emerges and this adversely affects self-worth. I know, because I’ve journeyed to that place. I’ve stood on the precipice of the gaping black hole and fallen deeply into it.
This resulted in my own reclamation of self and happened because my soul felt abandoned by my mind, body and spirit. Of course, my soul never abandoned me, it waited patiently always with me, bearing witness to the pain and suffering I was enduring. But, from this place, which sounds a stark and cold reality, something was happening. I was undergoing a transformation and the time came when I was ready to swim through the turbulent waters and resurface. Finally, leaving the depths of my shadow outlands behind.
This metamorphosis happened because I underwent a cataclysmic erosion of self and it was only when I pulled myself back up that I realised this is what had happened. Now, many years later my sense of self is very different. I’ve healed and grown through these experiences and have used them to positively impact the lives of others.
As a survivor of life, I understand how I can utilise my personal power and autonomy to help others. I don’t think there’s anything more inhumane than ignoring the plight of those you’re able to empower, enable and encourage. I’m an advocate and inspirer and I believe that’s what we should all be, even more so if we have experienced difficulties in life. Our struggles and survival through them, gives hope to others. Overcoming challenges demonstrates that there is always an opportunity to grow and evolve through our shadow times and that is invaluable.
When we transmute our pain to inspire others and help them to develop a closer, loving relationship with the heart and soul of who they are, we are privileged to be able to do so. The human journey is a life-long lesson in getting to know ourselves. A lot of the time we arrive at that knowledge through the relationships we develop with other people. But, it’s only when we realise our own worth that the value of our life becomes a sacred series of lessons. Each one allowing us to explore our inner world in a little more detail. If we give ourselves permission to feel unconditional love for ourselves, without judgement and without fear we are arriving close to the truth of who we are.
Thank you so much for reading, much love
Jo Cruise Coach and Mentor
For over 20 years Jo has been enabling people to reclaim their authentic self, through integrating the; mind, body, spiritual and emotional dimensions of their lives. She empowers her clients to regain more clarity, confidence and courage to birth their inspired ideas into the world. Helping them achieve the personal success and fulfilment they deserve.
Aahhhh the sweet smell of success! The constant reminders every two minutes in our Facebook feeds with sponsored ads flashing out their promises of teaching you how to make 6 figures in 6 minutes and having a freedom lifestyle.
Selling to your heart desires and triggering your emotions by using clever marketing tactics, these ads forget to mention the ball breaking hard work and daily application of what it really takes to build strong foundations in a business that will stay standing for generations to come.
They forget to mention the MASSIVE risks you have to take, the responsibility you have to shoulder along the way and how you have to completely transform your personality in order to transform your reality…..Yeah! They kinda forget to mention the REAL hard work part.
So, instead, people fall hook line and sinker into the ads and walk blindly into what’s about to come. They start implementing what is taught to them and it starts to succeed and they have a rush of success and money, and SUDDENLY out of nowhere like a thief in the night, WHAMMMMMMMM!!! … You are hit with huge blows!
Suddenly you have a tonne of responsibility, you have a payroll to your staff to pay, you have so many people looking to you to make MASSIVE decisions every day in order to keep things moving. The anxiety burns up in your chest and throat, you feel like you have to work bigger, faster, quicker, stronger, longer each week.
I mean, after all, you have a reputation and staff to keep right?…… But then suddenly! You start to feel like you are stuck on this God forsaken hamster wheel, what have you created? This isn’t living your passion! This is working stupid hours each week with tonnes of responsibility and people to lead and answer to and you are making less an hour then you worked in corporate???
Nobody mentioned this in the course I signed up for??????…. Nobody mentioned in their shiny Facebook advert that I would be freaking and pulling my hair out by the end of the year! How the f**k am I suppose to handle all this? .. (then your immune system takes a beating) and before you know it you are hit with many illnesses, sometimes one after the other or all at once. What the f**k happen on this journey? Why did nobody warn me about this? Why does it same like one thing after another is against me? …. I JUST DONT GET IT! THIS IS NOT LIVING YOUR PASSION, THIS IS SLOW DEATH TORTURE!!!!!!!
Yes, I hear you! I hear every single question you are asking, why? Because I was that person. I totally experienced the above (and a whole load more) on my journey of building my international publishing company. Within 10 months I was riding my way to 7 figures, had a full team and assistants for my every need and was working with TV personalities, award winning film directors and News readers to help publish and market their books to best seller status. I helped over 350 clients hit the best sellers list in under 3 years and had 18 best selling books of my own under my belt, along with bad health, declining passion and a human body that had turned into a robot that was running a hamster wheel and shouldering masses of responsibility that was wearing me down to zero!
Was I really doing this for others? Or was I feeding my big fat ego to feel like a somebody? To feel important and to be idolized? … Was I really seeing that my business foundations were built on chasing success rather than building a legacy?
I was so BLIND! I was chasing success and it was killing me, far from softly! It was killing me harshly every single day! .. I had NOBODY telling me in every training course I did, in every program I signed up for, in every book I would read, and every session with every coach I had, I had NOBODY teaching me the powerful grounded principles that I would need to learn in order to build strong foundations that will build a legacy of a life time. Nobody shared that with me when they were taking money from my credit card…. NONE!
It’s something I had to learn myself and it came to me one day 2 years ago and hit me like a gigantic piece of wood around the head! SLAM! … There I lay in bed with a bad infection in my lungs and unable to climb the stairs without practically coughing up a lung watching a speaker on a Youtube video, I have no idea why I was drawn to her that day, I just decided to watch this particular video and her words hit me. It was in that moment my eyeballs opened wide and I said OH MY GOSH! I had been doing it WRONG for so LONG!
She repeated the same sentence twice, and each time my hair stood up on end and my goosebumps doubled in size on my arms. This was a massive revelation! I could see for the first time in years what I had been doing wrong. Why I was knackered, ill and completely drained! Why all this stuff was happening to me, and what I had to do to put it so right.
Within 24 hours of watching that video, I made the biggest decision in the world, that was to walk away from the publishing company, let my team go and place myself and my health first. I took 5 months away from the online industry and spent that time just being a mum, wife, grandma and spirituality student. I studied daily and continued to look after myself and my health started to improve along with me gaining my strength back daily.
I woke up one morning to the vision of creating an online digital magazine, I had zero clue how to create it or make it happen and no idea how to design a magazine, let alone have a team to hand to do it. I just knew I had to create the vision that God had planted in my mind… So I did.
The Missing Piece Magazine was born on January 17th, 2017, it has saved people’s lives, help people move forward from even the toughest of situations and it has a team of 31 amazing coaches from all across the world who write and create articles on a monthly basis to help others. We have grown from strength to strength and have over 14,000 followers on social media and subscribers who love our content so much! Because it changes lives!
So what really did peel me back up off that floor when I needed it the most? What did that woman say on that YouTube video to enable me to be the tower of strength?? .. What was it?
Her words were “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.”
~ 1 Peter 5:6
BOOM! There it was! … We can chase success as much as we like, but until HE decides you’re worthy, you will be going around in circles for centuries. Until YOU really start to understand strong spiritual principles and live by them, study them and become them every single day, then you will be STILL going around in circles for centuries.
Now, before you start with the “She is a religious nut job” judgement, I spent my childhood growing up in a pagan household, made a tonne of mistakes in my 20’s and was a drug addict and self-harming by the time I was 25. After I stopped taking drugs at 25 I hit the bottle and depended on alcohol for another 10 years, which lead to 1 domestic violence relationship after another. Until I took my journey to self-discovery and faced all my demons of my past abuse in childhood and adulthood. I thought I knew quite a lot considering how far I had come on my journey of self-discovery and my success, but the truth was I knew SHIT, and I had YET MORE to learn.
The past two years have been truly an amazing growth period and I have learned what it REALLY takes to succeed in business to leave a legacy and what it really takes to equip others with the true principles of building a strong foundation in your life and business… I am living proof!
Next year (2018) myself and my business partner Kim B.Smith will start to teach these principles to people in events all across the globe and hosting a powerful retreat once a year!
I am so excited for what is to come and to finally shine a beacon of light upon all the business owners in the world, who like me once upon a time felt like they were drowning and have zero clues why?
It’s time for this to be taught, it’s time for people to build legacies and love every minute of it!
It’s great to be back from vacation after marrying my awesome partner! And thank you so much for taking time to read reading this!
God Bless, your friend for this journey,
Article Written By Wendy Hutchinson
Ever since I can remember I’ve had this voice in my head telling me what I could and couldn’t do. She cast a shadow on my self-esteem feeding me stories about my weight, my looks, my intelligence, my earning potential and so much more. She held me down forever and every time she whispered in my ear I believed her. Play it safe, stay small, no one wants to hear your opinion, and the worst insult of all, you don’t matter. I named her “The Bitch” and what a bitch she was. I listened to all her lies and believed in my limited potential. One day I recognized her for who she was, she was a deceiver and deal breaker and I broke free of her and I said, “that’s enough”! I believed the deceit was truth. The bitch kept me from becoming everything I dared to dream. I could run down a list of ways I fell short in my life faster than ice cream melted on a hot summer day. I had no idea how pervasive that EGO/bitch was until I started to pay attention.
The bitch kept me living small and safe by creating just enough doubt and fear to hold me captive. She was also smothering my spirit and my dreams. And then, something magical happened, I put that bitch in a box and I put a huge black iron padlock on it. That act of defiance was something so powerful, it surprised even me. I began piece by piece finding my way back to my authentic self. I started to feel at a soul level, the truth of who I am. I saw that I could be fearless and strong. I saw that I could take risks because I felt called to help others in my coaching and energy healing. The bitch would try to come out occasionally and rattle the cage, but I was not having it and back in the box she would go. I realized that nothing was going to keep me from taking the next step on my journey. I felt the stirring of something so much bigger than what I had allowed myself to believe possible. There was only one way to step into my power and it required a major shift in the story I was telling myself.
This shift happened gradually. At first, I began noticing how often I was telling myself ways I didn’t measure up. Then, I had a daring and provocative thought, which was, I am not my thoughts! I made a radical decision. I decided it was time that I started honoring and loving myself because if I didn’t, who would? I asked myself who am I really? What do I enjoy? Everyone has one thing that brings them joy, be it cooking, reading, travel, dance, working out, or spending time with friends. It could be something simple like sleeping in or a great latte on a Saturday morning. That is where I began to find my way back to my soul, the soul that was the essence of me. Through this process of rediscovering what lit my soul on fire, I began to blossom and the fabric of my life became this rich tapestry of experiences. I began to explore new places with my husband. I was reading books that inspired me, excited me, and set me on a spiritual path. I discovered a love of yoga and being outdoors on walks with my dog. I became very intentional about the kind of life I wanted to live. I created a perfect balance of work and play. I wanted to connect to people who were interested in changing the world by following their passions and just as I put that energy out there, the Universe began to deliver those people through synchronicity and circumstance. The more I focused on things that brought me joy, the more aligned I felt, attracting experiences, opportunities and people that resonated with me.
As I became more authentic in who I was, I stepped away from the person everyone else wanted me to be. I learned to set boundaries. I learned to put myself first and realized this wasn’t a selfish act as I had been programmed to believe. It was healthy to honor myself. Once I respected myself and my time, people fell away or fell in line. At first, I was sad to see the people I cared so deeply about falling away. As I began to step fully onto my path and into my power, I realized it had to happen to make room for the people who were going to come forward and lift me up and hold my hand as I pursued my dreams. The friends who said I’m here for you, I love you, I think you are doing great work were the ones I needed in my life. There is no room in my life for people jaded by their own cowardice and insecurity creating doubt and fear around what I am doing. I am including family members here. Yes, I have stepped so fully into my power, there is no room in my life for negativity, even if you are a blood relative. The people I want in my life are going to treat me with respect, and love and dignity. It’s people who The bitch kept me living small and safe by creating just enough doubt and fear to hold me captive. She was also smothering my spirit and my dreams. And then, something magical happened, I put that bitch in a box and I put a huge black iron padlock on it. That act of defiance was something so powerful, it surprised even me. I began piece by piece finding my way back to my authentic self. I started to feel at a soul level, the truth of who I am. I saw that I could be fearless and strong. I saw that I could take risks because I felt called to help others in my coaching and energy healing. The bitch would try to come out occasionally and rattle the cage, but I was not having it and back in the box she would go. I realized that nothing was going to keep me from taking the next step on my journey. I felt the stirring of something so much bigger than what I had allowed myself to believe possible. There was only one way to step into my power and it required a major shift in the story I was telling myself.
continue to create drama and try to suck me in, that I respectfully side step and have minimized contact with.
There is no reason to approach life as a victim of circumstance. Being a victim is disempowering. It creates a mentality of helplessness and resignation. You can languish in the mental wasteland of what if scenarios and what will people think bullshit or you can stop wasting time in the space of doubt and fear. Put your bitch in a box and lock her down, now is the time to let your light shine.
Until next time, much love
About Wendy Hutchinson:
Alinea Life Coaching
It is time to part with those words that have disempowered you for your entire life; the words that people conform to themselves on a daily basis which stop them moving forward or ever becoming what they dream and desire to be.
The words I am talking about are:
• I can’t
• I wish
• I hope
• I don’t know how
• It’s not possible
• I could never do that
• If only
• I should really be doing this
• If only I knew how
• I should have
• Yes but
• Maybe one day
• I’m sorry, I can’t
These words will continue to keep you stuck in the position you are in and will never help you move forward with your life. The longer you continue to say these words out loud, you are confirming to yourself that you are choosing not to find a way around whatever obstacle is impeding your path in life.
The language you use can empower you so that you are in control, OR it can have the opposite effect and disempower you, which is then assigning you the role of a victim.
The words that you habitually use affect how you communicate with yourself and how you experience your life. By simply changing the words you use, you can completely change the course of your life and the decisions you make.
The words you use carry energy and have the power to influence what happens in your life and work. Many of these words were programmed into you as a child along with the belief systems they support. Simply being aware of our words and shifting our language can lead to higher energy and success in your life.
Let’s look at the words that will empower you and change the way you do things in the future. The words you can now choose to use are empowering and you are making positive statements with these words every time you speak them out loud.
Your words can now be replaced with:
• I will do this
• I am going to
• I choose not to
• I want to
• I am
• I feel
• I intend to
• My goal is
• I want to know more
• I will make this happen
I am sure you can see the major difference in these words compared to the disempowering words. Look at the power these words hold. Just think of what you can achieve each day by switching your words to empowering ones. All you have to do becomes aware of the disempowering words you are using and switch to using the empowering words listed above. It is that simple.
Now let’s look at changing how you express yourself to others when they ask you how you are. When people say, “how are you today?” we often reply with, “I’m all right, thanks,” or, “I’m okay.” These words are also disempowering you! Let’s change these statements to: “I feel great today, thank you,” and “I’m feeling really empowered today.” Do you see the difference?
Now say these statements right now (yes , now!):
I feel empowered today.
I feel awesome today, thank you.
Didn’t that feel so much better when you said that? Instead of the usual disempowering, “I’m okay.”
Really become aware of how you hold yourself when you speak the disempowering words versus when you say the empowering words. You will notice that when you are speaking of the empowering list your head will be up and your back will be straight and you will be feeling ready to take on the day! But when you read from the disempowering words list… where are you looking? And how is your body reacting to this? Your body is hunched over and your eyes are on the floor. Can you see how much of an energy drain these words are? The best part of this is that you have control over this and you can change the way you hold yourself in a crowd just by changing your vocabulary.
All you are doing is replacing old habits with new ones and reaping the rewards for doing so. Yes, even the words we say and the body language we use with these words are habits, just like the rest of the habits you have been changing in this program. This is no different!
Isn’t it a truly amazing feeling to be aware of the control you can have over YOUR OWN LIFE?
Have a wonderful rest of your week!
Guest Blog: Written By Alyssa Cruise.
Before I share the five keys, I want to clarify the difference between overwhelm and burnout. Overwhelm is often an in-the-moment feeling and can be triggered by stress. It leaves us feeling as though we can’t handle everything going on around us.
However, unlike overwhelm, burn out happens when we haven’t been listening to the signals our body sends, we become exhausted and before long we’ve reached burnout.
This article focuses upon overwhelm, how to avoid it and how you can kiss overwhelm goodbye for good!
- Just Say No!
Are you saying no enough? As someone who is most probably empowered, passionate and creative you have already learnt to say yes to lots of things. In most cases this is a positive practice. Saying yes pushes us out of our comfort zones. It opens amazing new doors of opportunity and growth. However, before you reach burn out check in with yourself and ask yourself; “am I saying yes to too many things?”
You can easily begin to feel overwhelmed when you can’t manage your obligations fully. Or perhaps you’ve taken on too many responsibilities. Now’s the time to take an objective step back and see if there are areas in your life that you could ‘trim back on’ to suit you better. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help, as feeling burdened is one sure way to lead to overwhelm.
2. Start Your Day Right
When we start our day in the right frame of mind we feel more in control of our lives. Have you ever had a day you woke up late for something? Perhaps it left you feeling flustered and agitated and then you noticed how the rest of the day seemed to follow suit. Yes, we are human and those days can happen to us all. But when those days become more than a one off is when overwhelm will become a problem.
Begin your day in the most peaceful and productive way possible. The first thing I do is drink water with fresh lemon and yes, I do this before I check my phone, social media or emails! After waking we need to fuel our bodies. I also read a chapter from a book that inspires and motivates me. This offers me focus and intention for my own purpose that day.
Think about how you can start your day in the most positive and empowered way and come up with morning routines that nourish and nurture you. Maybe stretches, yoga or listening to an uplifting podcast. Having a morning ritual such as these, makes it very hard for overwhelm to find you and try to bring you down.
2. Don’t Hop Around
See if you recognise yourself in any of these statements.
- I structure my workdays
- I move methodically from one project to the next, with space between each
- I finish one task and then move immediately to another
- I have many tasks on the go at any one time
- I’m restless and constantly checking social media, emails etc., while planning my day
When we create a schedule we’re less likely to face overwhelm. If we give ourselves set time between each task to reboot and reset, we’ll feel less stressed and better able to cope with the demands of our job. Unlike ‘hopping’ around with no organised plan, which can easily lead to overwhelm.
3. Tidy Up Time!
I remember as a young child in school we had ‘tidy up time’. This was a set amount of time for the end of the day where we would get our coats, bags, lunchbox and pens packed and ready to be taken home. Now as an adult I still remind myself to participate in this tidy up time, in a new, structured and practical way.
So, how can you implement this same philosophy into your busy day? It’s simple, take time before your day has finished to catch up on any loose ends. After all, when you get home to spend time with those you love, they should have your undivided attention. But, that’s difficult to do if you’re thinking about that last email you should have sent, or the phone call you forgot to make.
By scheduling in 30 minutes before the end of each day, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to review, evaluate and complete those tasks that just can’t wait. You’re taking control of a much better work/life balance and creating harmony between the two.
4. Be the Captain of Your Own Attitude
Are you ready to be the captain of your attitudes and improve the way you approach life?
Overwhelm, simply put, is when we feel we have lost control of the moment that we are in. It can leave us feeling; flustered, confused and stressed. But, what if we approached every moment from a conscious place of confidence, high energy and trust?
When unforeseen circumstances arise are you going to be the person who yells out, ‘I don’t know what to do!’ or are you going to be the person who calmly says to yourself, ‘I don’t have a plan right this second, but I know all things can be figured out and resolved’.
The decision is yours. If you make a conscious choice in every moment to stand in your own personal power, you are the calm within the storm. Decide to be the voice of reason when everyone else is in chaos.
Leave Overwhelm Behind for Good
Implement these strategies and;
- learn what to say no to
- start your day right
- enjoy a better work/life balance
- prioritise tasks
- be in control your own thoughts and
- you will very rarely feel overwhelmed again
We cannot see what the future holds, or what awaits us. But, we can breathe deeply and make a promise to ourselves that we will learn to handle everything we’re faced with. Whatever we have on our plate we can deal with….one step at a time.
Thank you so much for reading! I will see you in the next issue of The Missing Piece Magazine.
Coach, Writer, Spiritual Life Hacks at alyssacruise.com
No matter how much it hurts, no matter how many times I have to pull myself out of the pit and drag myself up by my finger nails. No matter how painful the journey is, I WILL NEVER give in to him.
Him as in the darkness, You will most likely use the name ego, doubt, darkness, sub-conscious mind, hag in the attic. Well, whatever you like to call the voice in the back of your mind it sure is a bloody battle to keep on growing, to keep on going to improve yourself every day.
The battle between good and evil that goes on day in day out on this planet. You, the human, which is one of God’s highest forms of creation is used within this battle. Your darkness tries to control you, squash your dreams and talk you out of ever doing anything amazing because the fear takes over.
Don’t let it! You are far stronger then you can even begin to understand. You have the strength within you to fight the battle and come out stronger than before, however, that is just what it is, it’s a battle. An upward battle to come through each storm of growth because the comfort zone/darkness/ego HATES it when you succeed or create something that changes humanity for the better.
Why? Because it feels threatened that humanity will all stand together and completely destroy negativity. You see humanity is starting to fight back and take its power of freedom back. More and more people all across the world are starting to work on themselves, more and more people have the thirst for personal-growth each and every day. Slowly a blanket of love, respect and gratitude is starting to sweep across the world. Give it 10 years and there will be more people working on themselves every day to fight the ego/darkness than there is right now, and every 10 years after that it will increase.
It will then be passed down from generations to come and legacies will start to sweep over the nation and mindsets will be completely different to what they are now.
Is personal growth a constant battle?
YES! It is, but do you know what is worse? Sitting in your rocking chair at the age of 85 and looking at your grandchildren and telling them all the things you didn’t do with your life. I don’t know about you? But when I get to that age I still want to be travelling and speaking just like Bob Proctor! Still changing lives and have a huge pool of knowledge to share with every generation across the world.
Every time we reach another level of understanding, or we are about to reach another level of success. The ego/darkness HATES IT! So we are tested and the storm comes. That storm could be a battle of doubt, a testing moment, or it could be a way of testing your weaknesses or spiritual principles. So you have to be prepared and you have to be willing to accept that the storm is coming.
If you stay the course of the battle, either with your mind, or experience. Just keep your faith in knowing that on the other side of that battle or storm there is an amazing experience waiting for you.
You just have to ride the storm and win the battle first!
Have a wonderful Thursday,
Much Love & Appreciation