Article Written By Trilby Johnson
“Mind what you are saying, especially about and to yourself.
Because you always tend to believe it.”
– Trilby Johnson
Mindset, is all about the stories we tell ourselves as well as what motives us when making the decisions and taking the actions we do. Our mindset consists of belief systems that we learn as children and that will inform much of our lives as adults. Beliefs are the mental building blocks we have that help us to make sense of the world around us and which many use to draw meaning about their lives from. Mindset is important because it fuels our attitudes and the way it which we respond to situations and other people and it helps us to form habits.
For much of our lives, we operate from these conscious and subconscious mindsets. Depending on the quality of the predominant mindset however, as we go through different life stages, situations and experiences, a specific mindset which may have been suitable and effective beforehand, no longer offers the most appropriate results and outcomes and may require reassessment and updating to something new.
Sounds straightforward for sure. Yet many people struggle with this. Firstly, because these mindsets are often operating on a subconscious level as well as being habitual and automatic behaviours and responses. And so whilst a person may really desire to change a specific belief and attitude, they may experience resistance. For instance, a person who lacks self-confidence may desire to feel more confident. And so they may choose to believe they are more confident and there may even be an improvement in their confidence levels – like the ‘fake it till you make it’ slogan. This may work for a while. However, faking it will not be sustainable for very long and often the older more habitual mindset can pull them down. This is the reason that in my opinion and experience, positive affirmations can only take someone so far, before there needs to be another shift to the next level.
Image courtesy of pixabay.com
To experience mindset in an evergreen way, there is more to mindset than mere beliefs. They are indeed the building blocks to how we choose to function in the world. Yet humans are also sentient beings and so much of our prioritizing is based on our value system, which is the foundation of our building blocks. This aspect is often overlooked when it comes to wanting to install new belief patterns. The reason, in my experience, that there can be so much resistance is because when our values and our beliefs are not in alignment, we experience resistance and feel that we have to force or struggle in life.
Our values are a set of core principles that we use in making decision across our lives and are based on importance and need. Not to be confused with your beliefs, which are basically assumptions that we take to be true. Tension can arise when two important values come into play and create a feeling of conflict, when it comes to making important decisions. For instance, whether to stay in a job that is no longer satisfying and boring for security reasons and because that’s how it’s been there for years. Or go for a new job or lifestyle where it would be possible to express more creativity and independence, although it’s risking financial security.
In a case like this, there may be several conflicting beliefs, feelings and circumstances that need to be managed. More often than not, a person can feel pulled in different directions and this makes choosing the correct mindset and attitude challenging. Values come from the heart and beliefs come from the head. So the challenge is finding a happy medium that makes resetting our minds easier.
To do this, prioritizing and updating your values is very important because situations and options are changing all the time, as we grow and expand. Here’s an example! A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be happier and healthier and release the struggle that seem to always appear. So I sat down and did an evaluation and prioritization of my values. One of my top three priorities was ‘security’. Imagine my astonishment when I realized that happiness and health were not even in my top 10! So I had to shift my beliefs around ‘being safe’ and looking at ‘happiness and health’ in a new way. This change in priorities and values, helped me shift my thinking and establish a new mindset, that incorporated all of these values.
Here is a short exercise to help you identify your top 10 core values are:
Sit down and write down the first things that come to mind that are important to you in your life. (If you need examples of values, just google values and you can find lists to draw from.)
- Rank them from 1 to 10 with 1 being the most important and 10 the least.
- Then ask yourself if these are still valid for you?
- Are these values truly your own?
- When sorted, ask if there are any ‘new’ values that you wish to add? Add and rank them.
- Reflect on what has come up and also write down any of the beliefs that may have popped up. For example, health depends on genetic make-up; or if I am happy people will think I am selfish etc.
- If the values identified are not in your top 10, I invite you to add them in. Then sit back and watch what shows up.
- Repeat often.
Actively participating in setting our values, helps to prioritize and activate them in both the conscious and subconscious mind. This dynamic is what fuels a powerful and positive intention, attitude and mindset. Having a valuable mindset, requires adding value to our lives and ensuring when and how our mindset serves us best as we grow and expand.
Much Love, Trilby
p.s. Would you like a great resource of original inspiration to support shifting your thinking? My book ‘A-Ha Moments’ is available online and will support you in having your own a-ha moments.
Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She supports conscious and forward-thinking individuals to move from pain to resolution by resolving the core imbalances that destabilize and limit them, leaving them stuck in the muck of trauma and pain. When they connect the essence of who they truly are, they realize and align with their full potential and live happy, healthy and successful lives, on their own terms.
Written By Desirėe Toldo
Stubborn. Loud. Introverted. Passionate. Inquisitive. Precise. Frank. Seven words that capture the essence of who I am.
Seven words are what you need to learn what you believe about who you are. I often find that the words we use to describe ourselves find their origins in labels assigned to us so early on that they seem branded into our souls.
Our self esteems are so rooted in the opinions and words of others from such an early age, that by the time we are able to conceptualize our own self-image we are already so inundated with ideas about who we are that its difficult to separate who we are from who people think we are. We are a compilation of layers and layers of labels that ultimately create our self-concept; good, bad, or fierce.
So, who am I?
I am stubborn. The word comes to mind first because next to “Desirée”, its what I’m called most often. Being stubborn means you don’t accept an answer just because it’s an answer. It means you push beyond the point when most people stopped pushing. It means sometimes (lots of times?) you get yourself in trouble. But ultimately it means that you believe in something so strongly you’d stake a trip to Disney on it—belief like that is invaluable.
I am loud. I often say that I have no volume control, but being loud is to be expected when you’re a Cuban Italian girl from New York. Loud just comes with the territory. I speak loudly, I laugh loudly, I even sleep loudly. Our voices are the strongest tool we could possibly be armed with. Having a loud voice doesn’t always mean you will be listened to, but make no mistake, you will be heard.
I am introverted. If that’s not juxtaposition, I don’t know what is—loud and introverted. How can that be? I may have a loud voice, but my soul is quiet. I thrive in familiar settings with lots of books and snacks. I would choose a night in over a night out any given night. I’m the oldest 23-year-old I know and I love it. Being introverted forces you to step outside of your comfort zone quite often. You are faced with challenges that an extrovert wouldn’t give a second thought to, which means that you have the opportunity to overcome challenges often—its quite empowering.
I am passionate. I become even louder than normal when I begin talking about something that I’m passionate about (teaching, Disney, the Harry Potter series, food, etc.). My passion has afforded me a career, an opportunity to write my experiences down to be read across the world, a successful relationship, a stocked fridge…the list goes on. Passion is what fuels the soul—it’s the fortitude of your belief in something that drives you to pursue it at all costs. When it comes to your passion, stubborn isn’t a bad thing to be— never accept the answer you don’t want, always pursue your passion, always keep pushing.
I am inquisitive. I always have a follow-up question. Always. If I could swing it, being a student would be my fulltime job. I love to learn and I am always looking for something new to discover. If the family of one of my students speaks a language I am unfamiliar with, I research it—that’s how I discovered that the Igbo language is spoken in parts of Nigeria. If I come across a word I don’t know, I look it up—that’s how I learned what the word “tenable” meant after reading it on the back of a security guard’s shirt. I am always asking questions—of those around me, of my environment, of myself. Being inquisitive means never being satisfied with the amount of knowledge in your brain’s filing cabinets. There is always more to seek—knowledge truly is power and the more you know the stronger you can be.
I am precise. Some would say controlling, I say precise because I am precise. For example, there is an exact science to making a bed the right way—two pillows per side of the bed, the sheet and blankets must be folded four inches down and there must be the exact right amount of pillow showing out from under the comforter on top (or what I like to call pillow cleavage), all to be demolished within seconds of getting into bed. Precise. Maybe also neurotic, but definitely precise. For me, precision is calming—its organized, its dependable, and it creates a standard that can be met and a goal that can be achieved, even on days when making the bed might be the only goal you feel you can meet—and there’s nothing more satisfying than turning down your bed and jumping in after a hard day.
I am frank. I could have said honest, but my dad’s name is Frank, so hi Dad, I’m frank too. Candor is not something I lack—in my mind, its better to say directly what you mean than to have people translate what they think you mean for you. It’s the most dangerous game of telephone you can play. To be frank means knowing where the line lies between the brutality and dignity of honesty and not crossing it. To be able to say what you mean and mean what you say is crucial to your integrity and is a skill that must always be practiced.
When you think about who you are, about your self-image, what are the first seven words that come to mind? Are they positive? Negative? Critical? More than half of my seven words have been used as criticisms towards me—I’m too stubborn or too loud or too introverted or too precise, yet I use those words to build up my self-image rather than tear it down. What others perceive as our greatest character flaws have the potential to become our strengths, our most brilliant qualities. I challenge you to always find the very best in your seven words and beyond. After all, they are yours and nobody else’s.
It’s nice to meet you. Who are you?
Much love Desirėe xx
About Desirėe Toldo:
Article Written By Ellen Rich, Holistic Life Coach and Founder
“The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.”
~Jacob Lew Read
People have different approaches to money. Rich or poor, perception of money changes with context. Each financial group from billionaires to the homeless evaluate groups they are not a part.
Family and culture play a huge role in how you approach money and budget. A large family that lives together may need less money and can stretch a budget. A single person living on their own, however, may not be able to do this as well. Money and budgets are not good or bad. The key is determining what you have now, what resources will come into your possession, and lifestyle.
Whomever you are living with, someone or living on your own, you need to decide how money is consolidated or kept separate from others. Expenses are split and money allocated depending on each person’s contribution and perspective. Bills need to be paid and a monthly budget plan put into place.
Debt: most of us use it.
Many people stretch their lifestyle by borrowing money (banks, friends, family, investment accounts and credit cards). * closed parentheses added. There is always a price to pay for borrowing money. The budget may be met, but the emotional price and financial impact depends on your particular situation. Emotions can (fly) RUN HIGH when discussions about income, spending and debt arise.
Danger, danger and more danger!
If you borrow or lend money, beware that the long -term outcome may not work out as agreed. I know of someone who lent a “friend” $1,000 and never saw it again. Even landlords or the tax collectors may impose rules on you that you didn’t anticipate. Think about what could happen and plan accordingly.
What is your money make-up?
How you view money can impact budget decisions. Even if your current situation looks strong, spenders and savers often clash. Situations can change (layoffs, death, illness, children, etc.).
Money usually creates financial “power” issues
This issue can be traced back to how much money you have and can impact issues that you never experienced. A loss of a salary can change the entire household. Additionally, your salary negotiations fall into this category. Applying for a loan or government financial aid also can impact you due to the loss of your power. Whoever has the money has the financial power.
Children are expensive. It is estimated by CNN.com that it costs $233,610 to raise a child to until they reach the age of 18. And colleges are very expensive? There are student loans, community colleges, trade schools and government subsidies. Your choice is based on your financial commitment to your child.
Sometimes children over 18 want to continue to live with you to reduce their expenses. You need to consider how much money you will use to support adult children. It can help if your adult children decide to support you or can contribute financially to the household. I became a caretaker to my mother for 8 years when she was in her 80’s. This impacted my job, working part time, salary, siblings and inheritance.
As your parents or elders age, their ability or desire to earn income falls. Most seniors may want to live alone, but can’t afford it. They may also be sickly and need help with healthcare and day-to-day activities. Outside, home health care is very expensive.
Where will your money going to go? Is it going to you, your household, relatives or parents? These decisions may impact your savings and lifestyle. The good news here is that your extended family may help you out in ways you never considered.
Communication is the key to financial challenges. Dealing with debt is essential in understanding your ongoing plans. Bankruptcy or wage garnishment may be just around the corner. If married you are responsible for your partner’s debt. Don’t shy away from pre-nuptial discussions or a contract when setting up a household with others.
Divorce is quiet common and over 50% of marriages are impacted. Without understanding the laws in your state, province or country, this can be devastating from a financial standpoint. Go online or visit a divorce attorney to find out what you may be responsible for. Good advice to keep you on top of your money is, “Never a borrower or a lender be.”
Why do I need a budget?
A budget is a plan that allows you to compare the amount of money you have with your expenses. Budgets can be developed for any time period, but a monthly review is a good idea to see if you are on track. Budgets are flexible and can be changed based on circumstances. Budgets are critical in making big purchases. They can help you decide whether to make a purchase or not. With budgets you remain “in the know” of your resources so there are no surprises.
Thank you so much for reading, much love
After working in the corporate world for 30+ years, Ellen started a Holistic Life Coaching program. Called act2.expert (www.act2.expert), it is a Holistic Life Coaching Program that allows the client drive the process in a safe and comfortable environment. Ellen has a BA, MBA, many certificates and has attended Wisdom of the Whole Coaching Academy.
by Trilby Johnson – Author and Body Energy Alchemist.
Writer for The Missing Piece Magazine
Self-Esteem is very much a question of connection. In my experience, it’s first and foremost about the connection you have with yourself. It’s how you think about yourself and feel about yourself! It’s also the manner in which you talk to and about yourself.
For many years I struggled with low self-esteem. In fact, I basically hated myself and my life was miserable because of this. I believed what others had told me about myself and it hurt. What hurt so much, was that I knew deep down inside that all of that simply wasn’t true – and yet I let myself down.
For me to get from that place of not liking or loving myself at all, to a place where I had a higher level of self-esteem, took a while and a lot of honest introspection. So in this issue, I want to share with you, 3 of the elements that I consciously chose to add to my life and which helped me to boost a higher and healthier sense of self-esteem.
Image courtesy of Pixabay
- Element of Self-Love
Having been someone who didn’t love myself very much, I can guarantee you that Loving Yourself is the most important thing you will even do. Not only for yourself – also for the other people in your life.
Then, it’s about how you connect to others in ways that either support or disempower your level of self-esteem. The reason is that, when you truly love yourself and allow yourself to be who you truly are – the good, the bad, the ugly and all the other bits – you are a Gift – to everybody you know and meet! You can be confident. You can let go of the doubt, guilt and shame – all of which were probably not yours to begin with.
It took me a long time – through depression, abusive relationships and situations, suicidal tendencies and many low and dark moments – until I realized that all I really wanted, was to love myself.
So please give your permission today, if you are not yet there, to LOVE YOURSELF. It is soooo important!
Self-esteem is a by-product of loving yourself and not vice-verse. So make sure your are not missing out on this crucial boosting element.
- Element of Worth
I have worked with so many people, who believe that they are not enough. I know how that feels – I used to be like that. They believe that if they try harder or hard enough, if they give more, if they behave in a certain way, that finally they would be enough … and be worthy of other people’s praise, love, approval, or something else.
I have witnessed it and felt it myself – the huge sense of relief that comes with finally accepting and knowing that I am enough already. That I am worthy. And with this, the knowing that we are all worthy!!!
There is nothing to prove, despite that so many of us have been duped into believe it is something to be achieved or earned. The problems arise when we start to doubt or are led astray by other’s opinions and when we think that we have to DO something to Be Enough. We are enough . . . evident in the fact that Life itself has given us Life. We are enough!
So please, choose to know that you are worthy. This choice will add and boost your self-esteem.
- Element of Safety
This may surprise many people – I know it did me, when I realized that not feeling safe had a huge impact on my sense of self-esteem. Many of us are so afraid of the judgement of others. Perhaps even more so and subconsciously, we are afraid of our own judgement. I don’t know about you, but I have often been my harshest and most unforgiving critic!
I can remember the acute sense of relief I experience when I finally let go of judging myself and wanting to control everything … aahhhhh … it was amazing! I began to feel safe.
When you feel safe, you feel okay when you make mistakes. It feels safe even when you don’t always know exactly what to do, all of the time. It feels safe for you to be You – with or without other people’s approval.
When you don’t feel safe, worthy nor love yourself, these mindsets create a gravitational pull to everything ‘out there’ that matches these lower states of self-esteem. Life will serve you up the very things you fear. Life will show you perhaps adversely where you need to boost your levels of love, worthiness and feeling safe.
Safety is an inner state of being. Yes, you can live in a dangerous places – I’ve done that – and even in these situations, you can still feel safe. You can begin by claiming I love myself, I am enough and I am worthy, I am always safe! Even if at first you don’t quite believe or feel it completely. Claiming and declaring these will boost your self-esteem no end.
This does not mean there will not be days that are difficult nor that you will not have dips in your self-esteem. Simple no longer feed them and soon you will find yourself bouncing back. You will begin to enjoy the benefits of high self-esteem like feeling more confident, happier, healthier and more successful in your daily endeavours.
YOU are your most priceless and valuable commodity! Believe in yourself and your self-esteem will follow. Boost it daily with thoughts, words and feelings of love, worth and safety that will provide you with a healthy and loving connection and web of self-esteem.
Thank you so much for reading, much love
Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist
Connect The Essence of Who You Truly Are!
Blog – https://
Article Written By Wendy Hutchinson
Ever since I can remember I’ve had this voice in my head telling me what I could and couldn’t do. She cast a shadow on my self-esteem feeding me stories about my weight, my looks, my intelligence, my earning potential and so much more. She held me down forever and every time she whispered in my ear I believed her. Play it safe, stay small, no one wants to hear your opinion, and the worst insult of all, you don’t matter. I named her “The Bitch” and what a bitch she was. I listened to all her lies and believed in my limited potential. One day I recognized her for who she was, she was a deceiver and deal breaker and I broke free of her and I said, “that’s enough”! I believed the deceit was truth. The bitch kept me from becoming everything I dared to dream. I could run down a list of ways I fell short in my life faster than ice cream melted on a hot summer day. I had no idea how pervasive that EGO/bitch was until I started to pay attention.
The bitch kept me living small and safe by creating just enough doubt and fear to hold me captive. She was also smothering my spirit and my dreams. And then, something magical happened, I put that bitch in a box and I put a huge black iron padlock on it. That act of defiance was something so powerful, it surprised even me. I began piece by piece finding my way back to my authentic self. I started to feel at a soul level, the truth of who I am. I saw that I could be fearless and strong. I saw that I could take risks because I felt called to help others in my coaching and energy healing. The bitch would try to come out occasionally and rattle the cage, but I was not having it and back in the box she would go. I realized that nothing was going to keep me from taking the next step on my journey. I felt the stirring of something so much bigger than what I had allowed myself to believe possible. There was only one way to step into my power and it required a major shift in the story I was telling myself.
This shift happened gradually. At first, I began noticing how often I was telling myself ways I didn’t measure up. Then, I had a daring and provocative thought, which was, I am not my thoughts! I made a radical decision. I decided it was time that I started honoring and loving myself because if I didn’t, who would? I asked myself who am I really? What do I enjoy? Everyone has one thing that brings them joy, be it cooking, reading, travel, dance, working out, or spending time with friends. It could be something simple like sleeping in or a great latte on a Saturday morning. That is where I began to find my way back to my soul, the soul that was the essence of me. Through this process of rediscovering what lit my soul on fire, I began to blossom and the fabric of my life became this rich tapestry of experiences. I began to explore new places with my husband. I was reading books that inspired me, excited me, and set me on a spiritual path. I discovered a love of yoga and being outdoors on walks with my dog. I became very intentional about the kind of life I wanted to live. I created a perfect balance of work and play. I wanted to connect to people who were interested in changing the world by following their passions and just as I put that energy out there, the Universe began to deliver those people through synchronicity and circumstance. The more I focused on things that brought me joy, the more aligned I felt, attracting experiences, opportunities and people that resonated with me.
As I became more authentic in who I was, I stepped away from the person everyone else wanted me to be. I learned to set boundaries. I learned to put myself first and realized this wasn’t a selfish act as I had been programmed to believe. It was healthy to honor myself. Once I respected myself and my time, people fell away or fell in line. At first, I was sad to see the people I cared so deeply about falling away. As I began to step fully onto my path and into my power, I realized it had to happen to make room for the people who were going to come forward and lift me up and hold my hand as I pursued my dreams. The friends who said I’m here for you, I love you, I think you are doing great work were the ones I needed in my life. There is no room in my life for people jaded by their own cowardice and insecurity creating doubt and fear around what I am doing. I am including family members here. Yes, I have stepped so fully into my power, there is no room in my life for negativity, even if you are a blood relative. The people I want in my life are going to treat me with respect, and love and dignity. It’s people who The bitch kept me living small and safe by creating just enough doubt and fear to hold me captive. She was also smothering my spirit and my dreams. And then, something magical happened, I put that bitch in a box and I put a huge black iron padlock on it. That act of defiance was something so powerful, it surprised even me. I began piece by piece finding my way back to my authentic self. I started to feel at a soul level, the truth of who I am. I saw that I could be fearless and strong. I saw that I could take risks because I felt called to help others in my coaching and energy healing. The bitch would try to come out occasionally and rattle the cage, but I was not having it and back in the box she would go. I realized that nothing was going to keep me from taking the next step on my journey. I felt the stirring of something so much bigger than what I had allowed myself to believe possible. There was only one way to step into my power and it required a major shift in the story I was telling myself.
continue to create drama and try to suck me in, that I respectfully side step and have minimized contact with.
There is no reason to approach life as a victim of circumstance. Being a victim is disempowering. It creates a mentality of helplessness and resignation. You can languish in the mental wasteland of what if scenarios and what will people think bullshit or you can stop wasting time in the space of doubt and fear. Put your bitch in a box and lock her down, now is the time to let your light shine.
Until next time, much love
About Wendy Hutchinson:
Alinea Life Coaching
It’s Time to Stop the Gossiping and Criticising:
Everyone gossips and the majority of people criticise others. As much as you would love to hear the newest piece of juiciest gossip about the girl across the road, or the PRIVATE message somebody shared with you, that you then screenshot and posted through social media to share with your followers.… it’s time to give it up!
As a coach, it really boils my blood to see this happen on the Facebook day in day out, the fact that one person came to somebody and opened their selves up wide in a PRIVATE message and the coach takes it upon their selves to then screenshot it and share it with their following to criticise and condemn the person who sent it!
Gossipping and criticising are another projection of someone’s low self-esteem and insecurities. If you’re criticising something about that person then it shows you have something that you’re not comfortable within yourself. It places on a show that you need to gain attention by pulling down somebody else. Which is far from living in integrity and completely shooting yourself in the foot as a coach who is clearly displaying their unfaithfulness with the lives that have been placed in your hands.
Nobody should trust a gossip, and nobody would want to work with a gossip in the success field. If all you can do is bitch and criticise then people will avoid you. People will work with you if you are good, honest, caring and do not judge or share PRIVATE content.
You have a private message box so that people can come to you and feel safe in a safe place and trusting you with their words of communication. For you to take that PRIVATE conversation and spread it all across social media is really you planting the seed to your own crappy experience, that will most likely hit you in the face 12 weeks from now. When we condemn somebody, we condemn ourselves 10 x times worse!
Now don’t take this from me! Take this from the natural divine laws that are written and placed into this universe to keep it orderly. I never wrote them, the powers that-be way above my head did. You reap what you sow! In everything you do!
So why do people find the need to gossip? Why do they find the need to plant such rotten seeds for themselves?
The reason why people gossip in groups is because they are petrified that any gossip will be spoken about them. Secretly they cannot help wondering what you are saying about them when they aren’t around. So if they make themselves part of the team of gossipers than they know that the gossip attention is on somebody else rather than their own lives. Could you EVEN imagine opening up your social media one morning and the PRIVATE conversation you had with one coach is then screenshot and posted on their public feed? ESPECIALLY if you are a person who has only JUST started your journey of self-discovery and you have such a MASSIVE journey to start yet?
How would you feel? How would you feel seeing your message, your beliefs and your PRIVATE words being pulled down? Pretty shit right? You would feel like that coach just crapped all over you and your trust would be gone in one second flat. You would left to feel violated and like you could never trust a coach in that niche again. It would leave a very painful mark on anybody’s trust and hurt somebodies feelings.
If you are a coach/mentor/teacher and you have been chosen to be faithful with the lives that are presented before you. If you cannot be faithful with them lives and feed your ego with attention grabbing ways that pull somebody down instead, then you deserve the kick in the ass that’s coming your way! Like I said previously, when we condemn somebody, we condemn ourselves 10 x times worse!
Recently I started a top 100 coaches list and will be publishing this in The Missing Piece Magazine as from August 17th, 2017.
On this list is the coaches that I have hand picked myself and have checked out and deserve to be on that list, these coaches will go through many in depth checks per year to see if they truly are living from integrity and how they interact with their followers to enable them to stay on that list.
When you start your self-discovery journey you deserve to be presented with people who CAN be faithful with your PRIVATE words and who don’t display them for their own attention. I know myself I have started clearing up my friend’s list on Facebook because I really don’t want to be associated with those who feel the need to pull others down. It’s down right crap, unfaithful and so far from integrity, it’s unreal.
You deserve the best in life, so keep your standards high!
Check out the 100 coaches list as from August in The Missing Piece Magazine! You deserve the best!
Have a wonderful Tuesday!
Guest Blog written by: by Martin Warrillow
The human brain can only be worked so hard. When it’s had enough, it goes haywire. The only job I ever wanted when I was growing up was to be a journalist and despite being born with spina bifida and hydrocephalus (Google it, lol…) I fulfilled that childhood wish to work in journalism.
I had 24 years on various local daily and weekly newspapers in the West Midlands, with most of them spent on the sports desk of a major regional morning newspaper.
We worked ridiculous evening shifts, starting at 3pm and finishing whenever we finished, which was usually between midnight and 1am.
We worked almost every Sunday (we did get Saturdays off, although some of us worked a Saturday to earn extra money) and we worked every Bank Holiday . Of course, this meant I didn’t get home until 1.30am or so and rarely went to bed before 2am.
With my wife waking at 6am to go to work, it meant I wasn’t getting a lot of ‘proper’ sleep. I was also eating ‘on the run’ and eating a bad diet. In hindsight, it was a recipe for disaster and in 2006-7, I started to suffer epilepsy. Gigantic ‘Fall out of bed, lose control of your bodily functions’ seizures.
I had at least ten of them and it took the doctors 18 months to work out what was happening. Finally, my employer paid for a private consultation with a professsor of neurology; to be honest, I think they were frightened about what would happen if something really dramatic went wrong and they were shown not to have fulfilled their duty of care to an employee.
I will never forget the day I sat in that consultant’s office and he said: “You don’t know how close you’ve come to killing yourself. Your eating and sleeping patterns are wrecked; your body clock’s shot to bits.”
Sensing disaster ahead, the company quickly took me off those shifts, put me on regular day shifts for a while and things calmed down. They put me on a veritable feast of medication and as I write, I haven’t had a fit since February 2010. But at the end of 2009, my department was the victim of cost-cutting in the newspaper industry as the internet took all their classified advertising and my job was made redundant.
I moved into the world of freelance journalism and got a decent annual contract editing the quarterly magazine of British Naturism. Yes, British Naturism, the organisation which promotes social nudity as a leisure activity. My wife and I had been naturists since stumbling on to a clothes-optional beach in Spain in 1991 so it seemed the perfect job. And indeed, I enjoyed it for the first three-and-a-half years until the 1% of the membership which voted in leadership elections decided to change the chairman.
The new incumbent hated me and office politics came to the fore. In the autumn of 2013, I decided not to apply for another annual contract but before I could leave, the organisation decided not to renew my contract – and told me in a two-minute phone call one Sunday night, a month before Christmas.
That decision took away 90 per cent of my income and over the next two weeks, I panicked about replacing it. I stressed too much, I worked too hard, I networked too much (at least five meetings a week) – in hindsight, I took my brain and body to their limits and beyond. Then, while I was crossing a road near my home on the afternoon of Monday December 16 2013, I collapsed without warning. I lay in the road helpless – paralysed down my left side, carrying a £2,000 computer in my right hand and with a 47-seater bus coming towards me. I’d had a stroke. At the age of 49, after two and a half decades in the high-pressure world of journalism, my body and brain had cried ‘Enough!’
It should have killed me but somehow the bus miraculously missed me (I am still convinced to this day that the driver doesn’t know I was there, because I was in his blind spot) – and I survived the stroke. I spent a month over Christmas and New Year in hospital (the first two weeks of it wholly paralysed down my left side), I was in a wheelchair for four months, on sticks for 18 months.
It took two years for me to re-learn how to walk (which I still do with a limp) and I have been left with long-term memory loss and balance issues. But at least I’m alive. I’ve been retired from full-time work since December 2015 but I blog about stroke education at www.askthewarrior.com
and I do talks about stroke education as ‘The Warrior’ – specifically emphasising the need for self-employed people to take care of their brains and bodies – no 20-hour days or 100-hour weeks! – and also to prepare financially for the life-changing event “which will never happen to me.”
I’m living, breathing proof that it can happen to you if you work your brain and body too hard. If I can help one person to avoid going through what I’ve been through, I see that as creating a massive positive out of a massive negative.
Thank you for reading,
This week on The Missing Piece Magazine Facebook page I asked the question:
What one thing would you love to have more of in your life right now?
An answer that seemed to be repeated a few times from biz owners was: Clients
So in this blog post and in a Facebook live video that I will host on Monday 12th June, I thought this would be a great topic to share and really help you on your way to building your business online and gaining them clients you deserve. Let’s start with 5 great pointers of how you can gain more clients in your own business.
1.Creating great content: This my friend is a MUST to enable your followers to build a relationship with you. People buy from you when they have got to know you. They won’t just give their hard earned cash within 2 minutes of knowing you. You have to build a client base through respect and relationship building and the only way to build them relationships is to create content that motivates, inspires and triggers people to engage. From there you can chat, find out more about each other and build an element of trust between you and potential clients. If you are just hoping clients will knock on your door, then your in for a longgggg wait!
2.Create a platform: This could be through podcasting, blogging, radio show, Ebooks, published print books. I teach people how to go from zero investment to have a best-selling book on Amazon in 90 days!) So with the printed books, there is no excuse! However, you choose to build that platform always stick to rule #1 and that includes GREAT content that actually HELPS people.
3. Learn social media marketing and sales: It’s time to step forward in 2017 and understand that we live in a social media/technology world and the way people communicate, market and sell is completely different to like it was in 1983. So learning the skills you need to enable you to sell digitally to gain them clients is a must! Start learning Facebook marketing, Facebook ad training, selling online and technical skills that will enable you to run a business better online and close sales to build your client base.
4. Shift your focus: Rather than focusing on the lack of clients you don’t have, focus on the clients you do have. By giving so much love and attention to what you have already will expand right in front of your eyes befoe you know it. When you focus on “the lack” of something it’s really saying you don’t appreciate what you already have, and if you don’t appreciate what you already have it will be taken from you. Be a faithful servant and place all your love, guidance and attention into your clients now and what you are faithful with multiples!
5. Referrals: Look at where you can create a referral program for the clients you have now. There is no better way to gain more clients than to send your already die hard fans out into the world armed with a referral link/program and them telling all their friends on social media about their real life experience with you and how you changed their life. Real life testimonies sell products/services a whole lot better than any marketing on the planet! When it comes from the person who’s life it has changed, this stamps a whole new meaning for you as a business owner/coach.
I hope the 5 points above really start to shift your focus or plant some seeds into your mind this weekend on how you can really bring more clients to your business. I will see you on Monday on The Missing Piece Magazine Facebook page with a live Facebook video at 11:30 am EST time to go a bit further into detail about these 5 points.
Until then have a wonderful weekend and I will see you Monday!
Whenever I mention the word selling to a new or small online business owner they usually cringe. This is because many new online business owners self-sabotage themselves in many different ways when it comes to selling their products or services.
Every person is in sales, whether we are business owners, employees, parents or even in your own personal relationships, you are in sales!
How can everyone be in sales you are thinking?
Because everyone sells themselves somehow. This could be a mother who is selling to her son that if he loads the dishwasher so he can then have treats, Or when you are married, you definitely sold yourself to the person you married, so much so, they made a life-long commitment to you!
So you have been pretty much selling yourself your whole life, but you just didn’t know you were.
When it comes to selling in your business it really is 80% psychology and 20% mechanic’s that lead to a building a foundation of raving followers that turn into paying clients. Your mindset plays a massive part in how you run your business and how you sell to people.
I have spent over 11 years studying behaviour science, and I became a qualified psychologist in May 2007, and I am also a certified Life Coach and Certified saleswomen who has been in business for 13 years. So when you place the knowledge you have of human emotion with selling, it opens up a completely new door of selling.
Gone are the days of cold calling and knocking on doors and making random calls to people’s homes or talk them to death for 3 hours online in hope to buy your product and services. Human beings work through emotion, and everything we do or buy is through how it makes us feel.
We buy from who we trust and know. We place this trust in that person, and then when the service does not live up to the standards it was marketed we then feel disappointed and upset. We feel cheated after parting with our hard earned cash to pay for them goods or services.
To sell successfully from your online business through social media is a skill which takes practice, but once you have mastered the skills and incorporate it into your life on a daily basis, it becomes effortless. You then begin to build a strong foundation of raving fans and you create a leadership influence within your following. This leadership influence leads you to attract people and opportunities that you would never have before experienced.
However, back up a moment, before we can get you to the success you want to be in sales we first have to get passed the self-sabotage that we always do when we are on our road to selling in the online world.
So why you are self-sabotaging yourself over selling?
You are self-sabotaging yourself over selling because you don’t have the belief inside of you that you can sell well, and this is then making you nervous in front of your potential clients. This is projecting out of you onto your prospective client and they sense your uncomfortable energy.
So the first thing we really need to take a look at is raising your confidence in sales and there is an easy way to do this. We just have to convince your subconscious mind that you are indeed worthy of the sales you make.
So how do we convince you that you are worthy? Well, this can be easily achieved by daily affirmations which can change the belief systems that we operate from.
What are Affirmations?
An affirmation is spoken or written statement that is read daily which can complete transform your thoughts and make your belief systems shift to a whole new level. When using affirmations you speak of already achieving the goals you desire. Which then shifts the mind to that level of achievement and so you start to believe you are what you want to be.
When your mind shifts to this level the laws of the universe work in harmony with these new thoughts and draws everything to you that you need to become what it is you desire.
So basically if you read a simple paragraph of say 3 to 4 lines twice a day. You start to become what it is you truly want to be and believing you can be it. Before your very eyes, you will start attracting the things and people to yourself in order to make your goal possible.
If you use the same affirmation for 90 days and ready it constantly throughout your day, you will start to really see a drastic change in your thoughts.
Now to begin with you may think how can reading a sentence every day make me sell better?
Well In order for affirmations to work you need to place them somewhere that you will read them at least twice a day. I place my affirmations right in front of my desk in my office and I have one placed in my bathroom near my sink. This way I read them twice daily when I brush my teeth. In the whole time it takes me to brush my teeth I am repeating this paragraph over and over again. You need to have fun with it and turn it into a little game for yourself and see how many times you can read the paragraph in the time it takes you to brush your teeth. Then place other affirmations in places where you spend a lot of time, this could be at your desk, or in your car.
You need to place the affirmations in a visible place so that when you look straight at them you can read them and repeat them several times. This then starts to create new belief systems within your sub-conscious mind.
I want to really start making you believe that it is possible for you to become a top salesperson in your industry. Sales people who are in the top 20% and top 10 % of sales are there because they believe they can achieve whatever selling goal is possible. The top 20% of salespeople are very clear on how much they are going to earn that month and how many clients they are going to attract to them because they have already trained their sub-conscious mind to go seek it.
In an exercise I am going to share in this blog with you, we are going to use an affirmation that is used by the top 20% of salespeople in the world that helps them believe they are in fact they are the best sales people in the world and helps raise their confidence by making themselves BELIEVE they are the best sales people so that they become complete crystal clear and start to train their mind to become a better earner.
To strengthen that belief system of yours, we first need to train your subconscious mind so that your beliefs system starts to really become the best at what you do. You can do these easily by using this affirmation on a daily basis and repeating it over and over again out loud to yourself many many times over a day.
I have given you two affirmations below to use daily to raise your self-confidence and belief that you can become fantastic in sales. Repeat these affirmations daily for 90 days and then see the difference within your self-confidence levels.
“I am in the top 20% of the best sales people in the world”
“I am amazing and I am successful at everything I do”
Keep repeating these affirmations to yourself daily, 20-30 times daily to train your mind to become a better salesperson. Take courses in marketing and qualify as a sales person to help you understand how to master selling skills. This, plus, training your mind will have an amazing effect on you sell in your business.
Try it yourself, and leave the fear of selling behind!
Have an awesome Tuesday, and make it your best day yet!