Written By Donna Davis
Can you do it? Can you really look at yourself in the mirror? Not a passing glance to check your teeth, your hair or your outfit. I’m talking about looking directly into your eyes.
This may not be an easy feat. Some might say it’s actually ridiculous. My question is why? Why is it so odd to take a few minutes, look directly into your own eyes and send yourself some loving, happy thoughts? Maybe even some gratitude?
With all you do, manage and juggle, why is it that you seem to be last on your list for a good word or a smile – just for YOU?
Why have we become so complacent with the fact that so many others have opinions about and expectations of us that we have very little to no time to show our own selves some kindness?
Is it really so hard to find one good thing to say about yourself to yourself?
When was the last time that you checked in with how you were feeling? REALLY feeling? Not the superficial day-to-day, mundane, autopilot response or routine.
Do you have a minute or two just for you? Is it really all the difficult? Seriously. 60 seconds. You can try almost anything for 60 seconds.
I dare you! I dare you to set a timer, look into your own eyes and say – in an honest, meaningful way, one kind truth about yourself and share a smile with the most important person in your life- YOU!
This may seem strange at first or even uncomfortable. Instead of questioning why you should be kind to yourself, why not question why you haven’t been? What has gotten in the way? What has beaten you down? When did time become such a limited resource and how did YOU get taken out of the equation? What has you so distracted that is seemingly more important than you?
Have we allowed ourselves to get so caught up in pleasing others or wanting their approval that we have starved ourselves from our own attention and priority? It has been so easy for dream stealers and bullies to wear us down to the point of our very own self-esteem being on the endangered list. Most of the time it’s subliminal, cultural and very social. It’s all over the internet. Do you measure up? Are you good enough? How much multi-tasking can you do? How many hours can you put in? Can you dress like them or act like her or fit in with all the Jones’ that are left right and center? After a while, this can have you wondering “Which way is up?”
This doesn’t have to be the case. It’s time to reconnect. Find the you that has always been there. The you that needs time and attention and love. Learn to be there for you. Even when not many others are or can be. We are all trying to fit in, get ahead, do the best we can. Most times it’s a struggle and takes a lot out of us. What is left inside?
Take a look. Look into those tired, weary eyes and somewhere behind all that doubt and fear and pain – is the vulnerable, beautiful you that has been waiting – waiting for you to take notice – to spare a moment or two, a kind word – and a smile. Nothing extravagant. Something so simple and meaningful. Something so special and necessary that it can actually be magical! It can work wonders to build your
self-esteem back up to somewhere higher than it has ever been, higher than you thought possible. It’s time to love yourself again- or even for the first time. You matter. You are worth it. You have been waiting. Waiting for permission, for approval for the very love that you need and have been seeking elsewhere. Very rarely do we find it so completely and easily from outside of ourselves. We try over and over again in vain until we finally realize it has been inside us all along. It’s time to connect with that, to pay attention to that, to smile at that.
It’s not too late. You can be your own best friend, your own best cheerleader, your own best ally. It’s what the very essence of you needs. Can you be the one to provide it for yourself?
So, can you do it? Can you really look at yourself in the mirror? I think you can. If it’s hard for you to do at first you can use the virtual smile that I’m sending to you right now. Keep it somewhere safe, perhaps in your heart, and whenever you can’t seem to find one of your own, remember that you have a spare smile that I sent over to you. Take good care of it, match it with one of your own and then you’ll have two, just in case you have a rough day. And while I’m thinking about it…here…have a hug. The next time that you look in the mirror- bring out the smile and the hug and you’ll be sure to have a better day.
Donna Davis holds a Master Degree in Educational Leadership, Management and Policy from Seton Hall University and cherishes the journey of life, learning and the pursuit of dark chocolate all over the world.
As an educator, author, speaker, columnist and coach, Donna Davis is a perpetual optimist dedicated to helping women thrive and enjoy all that life has to offer. Donna is a modern day Change Agent disguised as The Menopause Fairy who celebrates the Magic, Mystery and Mayhem of Midlife.
Donna writes a column in The Missing Piece Magazine http://themissingpiecemagazine.com/ every month in which she coaches readers through various topics, activities and exercises related to the chosen theme for the month. As co-founder of WOmentum BuildHers https://www.facebook.com/WOmentumBuildhers/, Donna helps women to honor and celebrate themselves, find and use their voice and be able to survive all that life brings their way, allowing them to thrive and come alive in a way like never before through community, encouragement and Sisterhood.
This WOmentum BuildHER is taking bold action to educate, celebrate, and collaborate with women in all phases of life around the globe to heal, grow and come alive to “Be the best version of yourself possible!”