An article for the Missing Piece by
Trilby Johnson, Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist.
There is so much written on and about love – in books, songs, films, poetry. We humans seem fascinated and captivated by it, with many of us striving to have more of it in our lives. I know for a long-time I felt it was something ‘out there’ that I needed to acquire, earn and deserve as a kind of measure of my own self-worth and purpose. Yet, for a long time it seemed to elude me – in my own sense of self-love and my external relationships. Although there was always a tiny ember of it burning somewhere deep within me.
I experienced and observed how deprivation of this emotion formed behaviour patterns of frustration and pain and feelings of worthlessness. I was left perplexed. If love is really all we need, then surely more people would want this in their lives and there would be more of it visible in our lives, right? Yet, even from a young age, when I looked around me, I saw more struggle and suffering than I did Love or loving behaviour. I was confused because I knew that this simply wasn’t the whole truth of things and definitely not love. Consequently, I set out to discover and explore the mystery of love for myself, so that it was no longer merely an emotive experience and more of a state of unconditional being. Here is what I discovered…
♥ ‘L’ is for Letting Go
To uncover the true essence and experience of what love could be, requires looking beyond the current definition of love. In my opinion, love with a capital L is something much larger and more subtle than the socialized version presented as the ‘norm’ today – or the highly dramatized notions of romance put forward today and it goes much deeper than solely finding one’s soul mate in order to feel complete.
The emotion of love goes way beyond mere words in its intensity.
Is this not an invitation in itself to go beyond the common definition of what it is or isn’t?
Is this not the invitation of the unconditional, that the essence of this LOVE emotion is calling us to and through?
Have you heard the saying, “If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours.”? What if this was an invitation to let go of everything you think love is or has been or want it to be and be open to the experience of life itself, rather than the limiting definition of the search for a mate, partner or marriage? Free your mind and the love will follow.
Letting go of what love should be and look like, enables and allows you to experience something organically life-changing.
♥ ‘O’ is for Options
Whose definition of love are you adhering and conforming to? How unconditional in this love ‘option’ and how is it working for you?
I don’t know about you, but for many years of my life I tried to condition my life to fit into others’ version of what love was. A few experiences were uplifting and expansive, whilst many left me feeling unhappy, unloved and unlovable for much of the time. I found more freedom in the unconditional nature of which much had been written and I chose to break the mould and ‘be in love’ on my own terms. I began to look for different options of what and how love could be.
The biggest and most impactful option I chose, was first to love myself unconditionally. It’s my purpose and an ongoing labour of love.
♥ ‘V’ is for Vulnerability
Today, in the mindset and personal growth arena, there is the belief that when it comes to how we live our lives, here are only two options – love or fear. Is this true? And no there is no right or wrong answer. Only what each of us chooses to believe and experience so that we continue to grow. This requires vulnerability and being open to infinite options.
To be confident and comfortably uncomfortable about being vulnerable, takes acknowledging your ability to respond (respons-ability) in earnest and to be frankly honest with yourself. If not, you will hurt! While it is certainly a delicious blessing to feel loved by another, the true foundation of unconditional love lies primarily within you.
Vulnerability, means having the courage to experience fear, hurt, loss, sadness – the whole raw deal, as well as the joy, love and companionship of all our relationships. However, for us to reach our full potential unconditionally, there can be no judgement. Judgement is not unconditional and creates duality. This makes being vulnerable challenging as it seems there are always only two choices from which to choose – Love or fear. Right or Wrong. Good or Bad. Vulnerable or Closed.
Vulnerability, is about cultivating an openness of body, mind and spirit that will allow the unconditional – the unlimited – to be experienced in all its infinite options and beyond words. It’s the invitation to be open and to let love in and through. When we restrict ourselves, that is when we experience hurt and pain, because we cut ourselves off from the flow of love that is Life!
♥ ‘E’ is for Expansion
Currently, the common consensus of love, feels way too restrictive in my option and could be the reason relationships are undergoing such huge transformation. Individuals no longer believe this version of events and feel that so much more is possible. Love is expanding and inviting us all to be and explore so much more – an experience of growth and joy and peace.
The universe is shown to be made up of energy – vibrations of atoms – that come together to create and give form. It is continually expanding into moreness! Could this be a more accurate essence of Love? You get to choose and allow THAT to expand.
As someone who had felt the lack of love for many years of my life, I see LOVE as an expansive force that is inevitably calling us all onward. The type of experience we have, is up to us. I have come to observe LOVE as one of humanity’s beautiful creations and one that will lead us expansively into the depths and heights and harmony of who we really are and can be. There is no need to find Love because we are already in it. Love is at our core and what birthed us. Life and outer circumstances are simply reflecting the depths and nuances back to us on the way.
Through letting go, looking for options, being vulnerable and allowing yourself to expand it is possible to be on fire with LOVE for all that is.
I am on fire with LOVE for all that is.
Here’s love to you too,
p.s. My book ‘FEARLESSLY ALONE – Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy’ is partly my story of how I found Love with a capital L and how emotions are having an impact on our physical health and why. To have a greater sense of love, self and peace in your life, order your copy online or via your local bookshop now -> http://www.trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com/books
Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She specializes in supporting individuals to resolve their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual trauma and pain and create a new genuine sense of self, health, peace and joy.
She is the founder of her own successful business Trilby Johnson – The Connective and through her work and writing supports her clients in attaining their next level of expertise, with her gentle yet effective methods that she has gained from over 25 years of experience in Behavioural Psychology and the healing arts.
Trilby is a successful Author of two books: ‘Fearlessly Alone: Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy’ and her collection of original quotes ‘A-Ha Moments: Inspirational Quotes To Shift Your Thinking’
She has a degree in Psychology and is certified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Reiki, DNA Activation, Meta-Coaching, Holistic Massage and Advanced Healing Processes. Trilby seeks to continually transform her own life and uses all her tools personally.
Her days are spent following her joys: writing, travelling, guest speaking, reading, star gazing, enjoying her organic garden and country lifestyle.
To get in touch with Trilby go to:
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