How to Make Relationships WORK!

A healthy loving relationship is a sacred gift from our higher source of power. For those who call your higher power God, just like me. We know that god wants us to love each other and create together. He didn’t want us to be upset in a relationship or be miserable, nor did he want us to merely exist in an unloving duty that we feel the need to be tied to because of money of other issues.

A relationship should be a happy journey for you and your partner. You both should have the room you need for each of you to develop and grow. Not everyone stays the same and over time we evolve. We all have personal growth journeys and none of us will be the same people ten years from now. This means the relationship has to grow and develop with us or it will never work. Too many people stay together just for the sake of “making things easier.”

We tell lies to ourselves by doing this. Nothing is going to be easier; in fact you are making life ten times harder for yourself for not being you. If you are not being complete free who you want to be then it’s time to stretch your wings and be the person that you have always wanted to be. It’s time to seriously look at what we should be doing in this relationship and what we shouldn’t. I can’t promise that at the end of this blog that your relationship will be all rosy and everything will be fantastic. But I can promise that I will give you a better understanding and make you aware of the things that should be happening, in order to improve your everyday lives, and also not to live frustrated and misunderstood each day.

We all yearn for emotional and spiritual connection. We want to be accepted for who we are. We want to be forgiven for our past mistakes and not be judged by the one person we share our lives with. We want understanding, affection, tenderness and we want our partner to know when exactly we need these things, so that we can receive them.

When we first enter a relationship we tend to put on our happy face and also wear the rose tinted specs. For the first 3 months our heads in the clouds and we are in honeymoon period. We are so overjoyed and infatuated with each other that we cancel out the real world. We only think of the “now moment” rather than 6, 12 months from now. After the infatuation dies down, reality sinks in. We really start to learn the person behind the happy face and we start to notice their true habits and true personality.

A long-term relationship and a marriage require a lot of work from both parties. It requires sensitivity, communication, respect, empathy and listening to one another. It requires a lot of your attention and time to make sure it keeps developing while you’re together.

One of the strongest tools in a relationship is communication and it’s something a lot of couples don’t do. We somehow expect our partners to automatically know how we are feeling. We have all expected this, at same stage in a relationship within our lives and those who say they haven’t really are not being completely honest to them self. Think about it for one moment. If we didn’t have to communicate to have the perfect relationship and our partners could read our minds then would frustration really exist?…Course it wouldn’t. In fact everyone would have perfect relationships, awesome sex lives and the divorce lawyers would be out of business!

My friends the only way you are going to have the most amazing relationship and sex life is through communicating with each other and telling each other how you feel and also taking each other’s feelings into consideration. HOWEVER. You do both have to commit to doing the work and carrying out the communication in the first place. If only one of you decides to complete the work and the other chooses not to then you’re both going to end up on completely different pages? Which will result in you totally not understand where the other person is coming from? So take your time to work through each issue in your relationship together, and support each other while you are taking this new journey.

Facing the Music

For any relationship to move forward we first have to deal with the issues that are frustrating you right now. Not every person possesses the same levels of caring, respect and love as each other.

You may love at a deeper level then your partner. Remember that you are not the same people and you have come from entirely different backgrounds. So you have learnt different ways of how to treat others. What might seem unacceptable treatment to one could feel completely normal to the other.

This is where frustration comes in.  So rather than communicating with each other we will instead bottle these emotions up which then build up and can result in an explosion of emotions which result in a huge argument. This is why in order to move forward we have to face the music and we have to put all our cards on the table and be forced to look at our bad points…….and accept them!

Don’t expect them to read your mind or live up to expactations that they could never reach! That’s completely unacceptable to expect somebody to deliver a high expectency and then later pull them down for not reaching what is expected from them. Nobody is perfect, so if you learn to support each other and work on the weak points (weak points NOT bad) you will go on to grow together and have a wonderful relationship.

Now I am not saying that won’t ever be storms to ride, stressful times ahead or unexpected hurdels ahead, because I would be completely B.S-ing you! Of course they will! But at least if you work together stronger as a unit, rather then divided you will come through the worse storms and out the otherside stronger then ever!

I pray a massive  blessing over you today and your relationships, and may your realtionship be as strong and happy as mine.

Have a wonderful rest of your week,

Much Love

Kate xx

 

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