LAUNDRY DAY – REAL LIFE MOM EXPERIENCE!

Article Written By Donna Anna Pace

My alarm goes off at 9am, it’s Sunday, so I don’t bother getting up.  I decide to stay in bed, it’s my weekend off without my kids, it’s raining outside and my joints are stiff….so I’m going nowhere fast!  I always like to phone my kids when they’re not with me, so I lean over my bed, with much discomfort and ooohhhing and aaarrrggging, and pick up my mobile off my bedroom floor, with a newly acquired crack on the screen!!  My fingers are like sausages from water retention…..it’s not pretty being in your 40’s!  I click Contacts on my mobile and phone my dentist instead of my son!  With another click on my phone, I get it right, and I’m welcomed with a “hello Mum, how are you”?  This makes my day, and I continue to chat to my son Tommy before I realise he is more hungover than Martin Sheen!!  Tommy’s words are slurred, he’s giggling more than a 2 month old baby who’s parents are playing ‘peekaboo’, yet there is a sense of embarrassment in his voice.  ‘Why the embarrassment I thought’?  ‘What’s wrong with Tommy….what happened to him last night whilst he was ‘out on the lash’?

Whilst I am thinking and dwelling on Tommy’s demeanour, I can hear Tommy on the other end of the phone rambling away about something, but I couldn’t make out what?  ‘What was this news or gossip that my son wanted to share with me’?  “Hey Tommy”, I said, “you still sound hungover son, and I’ve never heard you laugh so much”!  “Share the gossip with me son, I could do with a laugh”!

“Ok mum, heehee, sorry, I can’t contain myself”!  “This will make you laugh, but maybe also hate me…..I got absolutely battered last night…”!

“Yeah I can hear it in your voice son, you sound very relaxed, you sound like you’re struggling to put two words together “!  “Why would I hate you son”?  “What an earth did you do last night”?  “Oh god, don’t tell me you got into a fight”?  “You didn’t get into a fight last night did you son”?!

Tommy laughs at the end of the phone and tries to compose himself before he answers my questions.  “Oh no mum, definitely not, I’m a lover not a fighter heehee”!  “What I’ve done is far worse than that!”

I shriek in despair….”WHAT”?!!  “Oh no son, what have you done”?!   My heart started racing, my mind became a minefield of emotions….so I walked over to my sofa, sitting gently in anticipation of what I was about to hear.  I can remember the last time I felt like this….it was 20th January…..the day Trump was elected !!!

“OK Tommy, you know I love you no matter what…I’m your Mum, here to protect and serve!”

Tommy’s voice becomes a bit subdued and the giggling seems to be easing off….Tommy hesitates before he discloses the much awaited gossip that I am desperate to hear!!

“Please don’t judge me Mum, like I said, I got absolutely battered last night, and don’t remember a thing!  “Erm…..when I got home last night, I obviously panicked….have no idea why….and I ermm ..took a crap in the bloody washing machine”!.  “I am so disappointed with myself, I am such a twat”!!  “I feel horrible… how do I even apologise for that”?!

“Are you kidding son?? You took a crap in the machine?!”…..

Tommy replied with a combination of laughter and humiliation in his voice.  “I don’t remember doing so, but it would appear so!!  I know, I’m an idiot”!!

“You’re not an idiot son…far from it”!  “You’re a beautiful human being and I’m proud to say that you’re my son”!  “Washing machines live longer with crap-on!” – I sung this to Tommy in the style of the TV advert for Calgon!

“You know what makes it worse”, Tommy said.  “I didn’t do it for the banter, at least then it would’ve been a practical joke”!  “I literally was just in the mindset that I am in the bathroom!”

“Yeah right son”, I said,  “that old chestnut”!   “Hey Tommy, you fancy coming round for dinner this week”?  “I’d love to see how you managed to squat down and contort your body to fit your bottom in the machine”?!  I couldn’t get my breath for laughing too much in disbelief at what Tommy had told me!

“Yeah sure mum, I’d love to pop round for dinner…what day”?  “By the way…what are the dimensions of your washing machine”!?

“Erm….what son?!!  What are the dimensions”??  “Why?…you’re not thinking of taking a crap in my machine are you!  Most people generally do that on my doorstep”!!

“Aaahh no mum,  I won’t be defecating in your machine, that’s quite a unique art form…more of a spur of the moment thing”!!

I didn’t realise Tommy had such a great sense of humour and sense of fun!  Not in the 20 years since giving birth to Tommy had I ever realised what an honest, funny, down-to-earth young man he has evolved into.  Forgetting the fact that he took a dump in his dad’s washing machine, and not even had the decency to fill the machine draw with a dash of bleach and put it on a 90 degree quick wash ……perhaps Tommy will never become a Washing Machine Engineer, but one thing is for sure….being a qualified Gym Instructor/Swimming Teacher has definitely paid dividends when it came to improvisation!!

Thank you for reading,

Donna Anna Pace xx


Online Life Coach, Supporting Artist, Writer, Volunteer, Human.

Coonect with me at: https://www.facebook.com/donnapace72

Belief/Affirmations: Do you believe in the power of prayer?

Article Written By Dr. Jane Cox

You might have noticed that I rather enjoy taking a bit of a controversial view on all sorts of subjects. I remember being taught from quite young that there are certain subjects that you just don’t talk about, and those generally include subjects around things like religion, or politics. Well, that was like a red rag to a bull for me. Tell me I shouldn’t do something, and immediately it engages me as something worth taking notice of. I am also often the “devil’s advocate” – I’ll keep the open mind, and always allow for the possibility that what I “believe” at any stage may change, because my current decision or belief may be based on a lack of knowledge, rather than an abundance of knowledge. And for me, ignorance is no reason to structure my life in a certain way. After all, life is about growing and learning, and I think we all have a huge amount of potential for that learning and that growth.

So one of the controversial subjects that has always interested me is the power of prayer. Some people swear by it, some people dismiss it completely. I went and became a metaphysican in my desire to understand it, amongst trying to get a handle on all other things spiritual and philosophical. I found out a lot of things about prayer, but I hope to share just a small finding in this couple of pages that we have together. And maybe it’ll encourage you to test this concept for yourself.

If you believed the nuns that taught me during my high school years, prayers are answered. To be honest, I had a big red flashing doubt sign in my brain when they came up with this concept. I tested it. I would pray for something, put my heart and soul into that prayer, and nothing seemed to happen. I would do the other thing they suggest – always start your prayer with thanks of what you have in your life, and then expand on this concept and pray for what you want as though the prayer had already been granted. Well, I liked the idea of that, but I wasn’t feeling overwhelmed with the success of the strategy.

One of my best friends at school was always worrying about her weight. She tried this prayer thing as well. She prayed to lose weight. She gave thanks for her thinness as though it had already become a reality. But nope. She kept looking much the same and, dare I say it, if there was weight doing anything it was appearing, not disappearing. So for a while I liked the concept of praying but the proof was still lacking.

Then I sat back and looked at what prayer actually was. It was effectively the sending up of energy into the Universe. And of course if there is real emotion involved in anything, it increased the amount of energy attached to that thought or desire. If we think of ourselves as electrical circuits, it makes sense that we exchange energy with the Universe. And if we guide that energy, and set our intentions, and include our emotions, it is like sending a guided missile up into the energy system of the Universe, and it certainly should be weighted in the favour of working, so why did it seem to have so little working proof?

Then I took a broader look at what was going on, and I experimented further, and I can honestly say that it is true what they say: Every prayer is answered. The trouble is that we tend to forget the first half of the statement. The fact is that EVERY THOUGHT is a prayer, and every prayer is answered. Think about it. Over seven billion souls, all sending up the energy of their thoughts. That’s a helluva lot of energy being sent out into the Universe!

So somehow we expect the Universe, that God power, to listen really carefully to all of that energy coming from each one of us. We expect that if that thought is preceded by a “Dear God”, and ends off with an “Amen”, that somehow the Universe will ignore the clutter of all those other energetic signals we send off, and just grant the request or intention sandwiched between those magic words. The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed.

I listened carefully to my friend. While for a few minutes each day she prayed for weight loss, she spent most of the other 23 hours and 55 minutes talking about how fat she felt she was. How she “only needed to think about a slice of cake and she would put on weight”. And I looked at where her thoughts centred, I listened to her self talk, and I saw where her emotions lay, and I saw how where she placed her attention was what manifested.

I saw myself do the same. I would “pray” for one thing, but believe another. I would ask for one result, and take actions and expend energy into creating the opposite result. Not intentionally, but when I was honest with myself, the pattern was clear. The negative self talk that we indulge in. The times that we diminish ourselves and run ourselves down. All of that energy, all of those thoughts, all sending out their energy into a very busy Universe, and the answering energy comes back. What we believe, we achieve. If what we internally believe is that we are failures, we create failure. If we believe we are incapable, we are. Or in my friend’s case, if we think we are overweight, we become the outward manifestation of those thoughts.

But on the flip side, when we catch our negative thoughts and beliefs, and we replace them with positive ones, we start to manifest that too. When we start to genuinely tell ourselves that we can do something, we manage it with relative ease. When we expect a positive outcome, we create a much larger possibility for that positive outcome. When our mind sends out clean and consistent energy, and we take ownership of our thoughts, we take back control over the outcome of those thoughts.

At first it may seem clunky. And quite an eye opener as to how many times we “think ourselves down”. But if every time you catch yourself thinking negatively, you intentionally replace those thoughts with positive ones, you start retraining your brain for positive results rather than negative ones. Every thought is a prayer, and every prayer is answered.

What are your thoughts? Because those thoughts are the thoughts that will become your reality.

Thank you so much for reading,

Jane xx


Dr. Jane Cox is a Human behavioural specialist, success psychology expert and ethno-psychologist. Internationally renowed motivational speaker & trainer. find out more at: https://www.drjanecox.co.uk/

Believe It – Or Not! By Donna Davis

Article Written By Donna Davis

 

There are 84,600 seconds in a day. That’s a lot of time to plan for failure – or success. Every waking moment is a chance for greatness, purpose and accomplishment…if we so choose. We have and make choices thousands of times a day both consciously and unconsciously.

Our minds are cluttered with old baggage that no longer serves us, and perhaps never did.  All the thoughts of minding someone else’s business, rehearsing conversations, if-onlys and wishful thinking are a big jumbled mess up in that beautiful mind of yours.  Maybe it’s time to tune in to our thoughts and thinking and sort things out a bit.

In order to do that you need to “find” yourself- the self that does all the thinking. Do you have a certain pattern of thoughts?  Do you have a preferred style of thinking? Are you on autopilot and let thinks run amuck-hoping that they will sort themselves out on their own?

Take a look at some choices below and see if any of these categories of thought seem familiar:

Spin Cycle:  The same thoughts, or series of thoughts are stuck on “repeat.”  For some reason your perception is that if you replay the same thoughts over and over again somehow things from the past will change. You think the same thoughts and place them in the “theatre” in your mind. You then take turns trying a new intro, a new outro, going through several wardrobe changes hoping that the outcome will be different. It’s time to shut the machine off, realize that the past cannot be changed or altered in any way, its already done. How do you want to move forward?

Roller Coaster: Woo-whooo what a ride we are on! We often get on this ride-with no seatbelt-and think that when we reach the end of the ride everything will turn out ‘just fine’ because we braved all of the emotions and twists and turns that the ride provides and somehow it will all will be worth it. We find ourselves bruised, battered, bewildered and disappointed. This ‘emotional’ ride has taken its toll on us and we have paid a very high price and often don’t get the outcome that we so desperately needed and believed that this ride would give us. Sometimes we get on the ride willingly, sometimes not. Often times we don’t realize that we have the option to get off. Don’t let this turn into a runaway train! Find the emergency brake! Find some steady ground and choose some better options, step by step.

In The Valley: It is VERY easy to take inventory of your sadness, pain and failures. They seem so BIG!  They are also very heavy and we have allowed them to wear away at our self-esteem, worth and purpose and it has created a large, deep pit where we can go to feel sorry for ourselves any time of day or night. It is a welcoming place and always reminds us of how many mistakes we have made, all the things that went wrong and just how bad everything is.  There is a special place within this canyon called “The Pity Pot” and you are welcome to sit on it 24 hours a day and think about how everything has turned to shit. Your perception of yourself and the world has hit a record low and it is very difficult to get out of this rut!  This place would like you to think that it is impossible to leave and that climbing out of this hole will kill you.  Truth is- you can leave any time you want. You may need some guidance and a helping hand – or two, but it IS absolutely possible to get yourself out of there. It’s time to trade in your real estate for a better future, starting NOW!

Lost In Space    There will always be plenty of information and opinions to suggest perfect outcomes and ideal situations. There are 101 ways to do ‘this,’ and 57 ways to do ‘that!” You want to try all of them, just knowing that you will find 1 that will be extraordinary! But first you have to assimilate ALL the information, with its endless possible scenarios to figure out what that perfect outcome will be before you try and implement anything! There are unlimited ifs, ands & buts. You want to KNOW before you DO anything so it will all be flawless!  It’s time to land. Pick one thing, something and test it out. Through trial, error, and experience, not thinking, you will find what you’ve been searching for.

It’s time to come back to reality. Like it or not, believe it or not, agree with it or not, that is what you need to accept and deal with. Plant your feet firmly on the ground, take a few deep breaths, find your awareness in THIS moment and steer your mind in a forward, positive direction. Create the best YOU and the NOW that could ever possibly BE.

The choice is and always was ours. We may not have realized it, someone could have taken our power away from us or we could have willingly handed it over thinking and hoping that someone else could do better for us than we could do for ourselves. It’s time to wake up, be aware and consciously make better choices.

Much Love,

Donna xx


 

Find a Penny, Pick it Up- Written By Desirée Toldo

Written By Desirée Toldo

 

I believe in a lot of things. I believe that Disney Princess Band-Aids work better than regular Band-Aids; I believe that people are inherently kind, even if at times they forget it; I believe that most things taste better with ketchup; I believe that everything that is lost has a way of finding its way back. This is the story of the moment I found what I had lost 12 years ago.

In 2015, I was a senior in college living with my cousin and our best friend in our small dorm. It was rare to have the room to myself for a night, but when I did I would sometimes wake up from dreams of my grandfather who we had lost ten years earlier. I would wake up and be so sure I could smell his familiar scent, as though the door had just closed behind him—they were the most vivid dreams I had ever had. I struggled to put a meaning to these dreams. My grandmother and mother had told me of spiritual encounters that they had had in their lives, but I never believed that was the kind of thing I could experience. I wasn’t sure if I even believed it was possible. Yet I wanted so badly to believe that there was meaning in the dreams that I was having, that I was being visited by the person I missed more than I could understand.

One Sunday in March I found myself alone for the night once again, and I suppose my grandfather, who we called Papi, decided it was time to make a believer out of me. I fell asleep with a tingle of disappointment that always came with the end of the weekend. Before I knew it, I was walking up the street toward my parents’ house when I heard the engine of my brother’s truck start. I looked up to see Papi smiling at me from the driver’s seat. He didn’t say a word but I got in the truck and we drove away and went to a movie theater. I don’t remember the drive. I don’t remember any conversation. I don’t even remember what movie we went to see. But I remembering walking up to the concession stand and ordering my favorite movie theater snacks (pretzel nuggets, nacho cheese, and a small popcorn). I remember Papi paying. I remember the cashier placing loose change on the counter. And I remember one bright, shiny penny.

Even through a dream, where there are no limits to what you can imagine and what can be done, I knew Papi would not be staying with me in the world, but that he had come back for a day to take me to the movies, perhaps to reassure me that though he had left the world, he was not gone. He did not say a single word but when I asked him if I could keep that one perfect penny to remember the day he smiled. After that it all dissolved. Maybe new dreams came into focus or maybe it was all just black. I woke up alone in my room with a breath that felt like I had just been resuscitated. The weight of what I had dreamt and the emptiness I felt crashed over me. He was gone. I rolled over and made my body as small as I could in my tiny twin bed.

Against my crisp, black bed sheet I saw the perfectly polished profile of Abe Lincoln, shining up at me. A penny lay next to my pillow, as though it had been placed so purposely near me.

In life, Papi had never denied me anything—ice cream before bed (make no mistake, this was just as much a treat for him as it was for me—chocolate ice cream for him, vanilla for me), the little plastic table from the center of a pizza pie to use as a dining table for my Barbies, nothing. 12 years had passed since he died and yet he still didn’t deny me. This time he gave me something to believe in—his proximity, his presence, his attunement to me even after so many years. I had never felt so connected to someone in my life—he had chosen to give me this gift and in doing so he solidified everything I wanted to believe in but didn’t have enough proof of. I wear the proof around my neck at all times. The penny hangs close to my heart always—a reminder of what that dream meant and everything that changed as a result of it.

In the two years since Papi came to visit me in my dorm, I have had other similar encounters—dreams that seemed just slightly more than dreams. I sometimes wish I could summon both of my grandparents like characters in a science fiction movie, just to get their reassurance that they’re watching everything. But it doesn’t work like that. I don’t know how it works, but I believe in it. I believe that when I need them most, they appear. I believe that the cardinal that sits on my windowsill despite my cat’s numerous attempts to pounce on him through the closed window is Papi saying, “hello, I’m with you.” I believe that the dragonfly fluttering around my car as I eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich on my lunch break is Gram telling me that peanut butter and jelly is not a filling lunch and I should eat more. I believe that though they were lost, they are always hiding somewhere waiting to be found. It doesn’t make me miss them any less, but it makes the spaces between visits less difficult. Most of all, it gives me hope that there will always be another sign, another visit, another reminder of just how strongly they are imprinted in my soul.

Thank you for reading, with love

Desirée Toldo xx

 

Affirmations, do they really work? – By Kim B. Smith

Article Written By Kim B. Smith

 

I am a healthy person; I am strong and focused; I am loved; I am a shining ray of beauty…

I am energetic and productive to arrive through my day!

These are just a few samples of positive affirmations, something a lot of people do not believe in. Our belief system here is what we “buy” into, what we are told to by others.

First, I would like to talk more about affirmations. To be affirmed, affirming and more.

Here is the definition:

1, The action or process of affirming something or being affirme

“He nodded in affirmation.

2,  Emotional support and encouragement.

These affirmations are powerful – they work. For me personally, they help me calm my nerves and anxiety. I take three deep breaths before stating my affirmations. However, I have clients that insist that they don’t work or that it is just too simple! Really? Why does everything have to be so neck breaking hard for us to receive love and desired results? Crazy, huh?

Affirmations need to be visible. I find placing mine in my journal helps. I write them on Post-its, and I keep them in my car, on my mirror and around my monitor of my computer. Places where I can see them and be reminded.

I let myself get creative and use sharpies and different color Post-its. At one point I used to teach a leadership class to high schoolers, we did the eliminating of negative beliefs, we taught them how to take their negative beliefs and turn them into positive, supportive ones by using the Post-it method. One of the students shared with the class that she decided to place her Post-its on her bedroom ceiling so she could see them first thing in the morning and last at night! Brilliant! We saw a shift in this young lady’s personality.

These affirmations change our beliefs about ourselves, AND THEY WORK.

Yes, affirmations work, I know this because we live in a total affirmed world. A very negative world that affirms with fear and negativity.

How many times have you been given a compliment and affirm with a negative comment? How many times do you negatively put yourself down? “I am fat, I am a loser, I am a failure.” We have all done this at one point in our lives. And we buy into this, don’t we? Aren’t these affirmations changing our beliefs?

Affirmations work, positive or negative. Humans have been walking around for years affirming things.

“I am ____________.” You chose, power-filled and positive or knock-down, fear-based, and negative. But I will tell you, they work. Affirmations have worked since the beginning of time, it’s just that we as a race have been trained to use them negatively. So changing all of this up, feels strange, abnormal, and very different. Indeed, and it will until a new routine is started for yourself.

Practice is the way to change, and practice doesn’t get you to perfection. Practice supports us and allows us to be Human.

Begin today with three positive affirmations, place them around you on your mirror, monitor and such. You got this!

Peace, Kim xx


Kim Boudreau Smith is a multi-talented CEO and business leader with a legacy of empowering thousands of women. From a corporate background in sales and marketing and over 20 years of experience in the fitness industry, Kim has gone on to become an #1 International Best-Selling Author with the book being one of the best-selling on Amazon for 2015! Kim also has become a multiple International Best-Selling Author Business Consultant and Speaker. Kim combines her expertise with a passion to motivate and inspire other women to become “top producers in their lives”. As CEO of Kim Boudreau Smith Inc.& Founder of Bold Radio Station her international speaking and consulting work has enabled thousands of women to benefit from her inspirational and empowering work. Find out more at www.kimbsmith.com

 

Beliefs & Affirmations – Written By Hayley Young

Written By Hayley Young

 

When you truly believe in yourself, anything is possible! Affirmations is one of my favorite topics, and I can speak from personal experience when I say they work, they actually work!

Beliefs are what we think of ourselves. They create our lives and our futures, they are the cause of everything we think, say and do. Many of our beliefs are formed unconsciously as children and through personal experiences, but at any time our mind can be reprogrammed by our thoughts and affirmations.

To change our core beliefs about ourselves we need to be ready to start our journey of self-improvement and becoming the best version of ourselves. My journey first started several years ago when my friend shared a documentary with me, you may of her of it, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I was immediately hooked, and instantly life felt different, more positive and happier. By the time I went to bed, my affirmations were written, and I have stuck by them since that night. They have changed over time as I have had my achievements, but I truly believe in them.

Daily affirmations reprogram your brain with your new beliefs and views of yourself. You see yourself differently; think more positively, and confidence and self-esteem develop. You might not realize it at the time, but when you look back, you will see the personal journey you have taken. In the future, you won’t recognize the person you used to be, in the best possible way.

Decide who and where you want to be in life in the future. You need to be clear about what you want and set goals around what you’d like to achieve. Then you can write your affirmations. You can also make a note of any negative thoughts you have about yourself and write the counterpart down in an affirmation. Put them in places you will see every day (fridge, mirror, phone screensaver, laptop background, etc) and say them in from of the mirror every morning and every evening.

Affirmation Tips:

Write your affirmation in the present tense.

Start with ‘I’ or ‘My’.

Make sure they are positive.

Add an emotion such as ‘I feel so excited that…’.

Feel like it has already happened.

I hope this helps you on your own journey, thank you for reading.

Much Love,

Hayley xx


I am 5ft 5/6ish, dark blonde hair (often dye it red), blue eyes, happy-go-lucky, easy going, always happy and up for a laugh. Love travelling. Life is to short to be miserable!! you can connect with me right here: https://www.facebook.com/hayley.young.9237

7 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship Part 4

Here is question 4 in highlight the #Metoo campaign

 

Q4. Are you having a relationship with an adult or a child?

 

To explain what I mean by this, I will describe my previous relationship and then you can get an idea of what I am talking about.

My previous partner lacked independence completely; he couldn’t do anything that an ordinary person like you or me could do. Not only did I have to cook, clean the house, take care of the finances, but I would even have to bring in work for him when he was sick. When it came to doing the weekly shop at the supermarket he would walk out after two minutes and go sit in the car and sulk. His excuse would be that he couldn’t deal with the stress of it. (Yes I know you are shaking your head already, it gets better to trust me!).

When it came to decorating our new home, I had to do it all myself. When it came to planning our wedding day, I had to do it all myself. When it came to him looking for a job, I had to look for him. When it came to insuring his car, I had to do it for him.

Even when it came running his bath, yes you got it…..I did it for him!

I am afraid there is nothing that can be changed with people like this; they have spent most of their lives latching on to people who will do everything for them, and they will continue to do so. When you do finally have enough and call it quits on your relationship they are not the slightest bit grateful for anything you did for them. They actually hate you for leaving them ! … Now it’s your fault that they have to now do things for themselves.

When I split with my partner, he sold his car. This was not because he needed the money or anything. It was because I cancelled his standing order from my bank account to his insurance company. So due to his lack of capability to ring the insurance company to set up a standing order he now no longer has a car……Really ??

(There is NO exercise on the planet that could work on this kind of personality, my advice is to leave them and save yourself from an eternity of butt wiping)..

Stay tuned for 3 more questions and 3 more exercises,

Much Love,

Kate x

7 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship Part 3

 

Here is question 3 in the highlight of the #Metoo campaign

Q3. Do you have to nag your partner to get even the simplest jobs done?

 

We all know that feeling of frustration when we ask somebody to do something for us and then we end up doing it anyway.

If in your relationship it is rare this happens then you know your partner has genuinely forgotten whatever it is you asked them to do. However, if you find this to be a recurring thing and you find yourself getting irritated by it daily, then you know that really your partner can’t be bothered to take even 5 minutes out of his 24 hours to complete a simple task for you. This would then result in you nagging at them and it usually causes arguments or you adopting the “I will do everything” attitude which could end in you wearing yourself out mentally, emotionally and physically.

Relationships are supposed to be 100/100 and if yours is 90/10 then you know something has to be done to rectify it quickly before you become either a doormat to your partner or so frustrated that you end up leaving the relationship completely. (That’s if you don’t strangle him first.)

Exercise Three:

Discuss with your partner the idea about setting up a routine for all the jobs that need to be completed, like the housework, bill paying, the gardening etc..

After a while of sticking to this routine,  you and your partner will form a new routine that in time will become like second nature to you both.

Don’t let frustration come from your fear of asking to put systems in place. Sometimes our own expectances can be much higher than what the other partner can deliver. Work together to make it happen.

Stay tuned for 4 more questions and 4 more exercises,

Much Love,

Kate xx

7 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship Part 2

Here is question 2 to highlight the #Metoo campaign

Q2, Do you receive good compliments from your partner?

 

We all need to be complimented on making us feel good in a relationship. Compliments boost our self-esteem. Hearing the nice compliments gives us the self-confidence we need that enables us to conquer whatever it is we desire.

If we receive bad compliments from our partner, then it can be very shattering to our self-confidence, leaving us with very low self-esteem. It can also put us at an all-time low where we don’t feel worthy of anything. It makes us feel that we could never accomplish anything we want to do.

In many relationships where one partner has insecurities of their own, they tend to drag the other partner down to make themselves feel just that little bit better. Certain comments made to us like “isn’t it about time you lose weight” or “You can’t go out dressed like that!” leave us feeling down about ourselves. The impact of these certain comments can be shattering to our feelings.

Usually, the reason why these comments are made by your partner is due to them having maybe put on a few extra pounds in the “comfy stage” of your relationship and he’s now scared that your wearing of that tight fitted dress will bring attention from other men. So his insecurities are on show by projecting them on to you….( To hell with what he thinks!, wear that tight fitted dress. In 30 years you will be wishing back the figure you have now!.)

If you are in a relationship where your partner does tend to make bad comments to you then the exercise below will prove how many times they make them.

Exercise two:

Take a little money box or piggy bank, or even a jar, (as long as it is not a see- through one). Each time your partner makes a bad comment about you, put a penny in the money box, continue to do this each time a bad comment is made and carry it on for at least 21 days.

After the 21 days open the jar and take out the pennies you have put and count them. This will now show you how many times your partner made you feel bad about yourself in the past three weeks.

(I asked a friend of mine to conduct this exercise herself,  and after 21 days she had $1.75 in her jar,  which concludes that her partner had put her down 175 times in three weeks !.)

As hard as these things are, bringing awareness to a problem means we can make change.

Stay tuned for 5 more questions and 5 more exercises,

Much Love,

Kate xx