Beliefs & Affirmations – Written By Hayley Young

Written By Hayley Young

 

When you truly believe in yourself, anything is possible! Affirmations is one of my favorite topics, and I can speak from personal experience when I say they work, they actually work!

Beliefs are what we think of ourselves. They create our lives and our futures, they are the cause of everything we think, say and do. Many of our beliefs are formed unconsciously as children and through personal experiences, but at any time our mind can be reprogrammed by our thoughts and affirmations.

To change our core beliefs about ourselves we need to be ready to start our journey of self-improvement and becoming the best version of ourselves. My journey first started several years ago when my friend shared a documentary with me, you may of her of it, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I was immediately hooked, and instantly life felt different, more positive and happier. By the time I went to bed, my affirmations were written, and I have stuck by them since that night. They have changed over time as I have had my achievements, but I truly believe in them.

Daily affirmations reprogram your brain with your new beliefs and views of yourself. You see yourself differently; think more positively, and confidence and self-esteem develop. You might not realize it at the time, but when you look back, you will see the personal journey you have taken. In the future, you won’t recognize the person you used to be, in the best possible way.

Decide who and where you want to be in life in the future. You need to be clear about what you want and set goals around what you’d like to achieve. Then you can write your affirmations. You can also make a note of any negative thoughts you have about yourself and write the counterpart down in an affirmation. Put them in places you will see every day (fridge, mirror, phone screensaver, laptop background, etc) and say them in from of the mirror every morning and every evening.

Affirmation Tips:

Write your affirmation in the present tense.

Start with ‘I’ or ‘My’.

Make sure they are positive.

Add an emotion such as ‘I feel so excited that…’.

Feel like it has already happened.

I hope this helps you on your own journey, thank you for reading.

Much Love,

Hayley xx


I am 5ft 5/6ish, dark blonde hair (often dye it red), blue eyes, happy-go-lucky, easy going, always happy and up for a laugh. Love travelling. Life is to short to be miserable!! you can connect with me right here: https://www.facebook.com/hayley.young.9237

7 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship Part 6

Q6, Are you allowed to be you?

 

You know you have a fantastic relationship when your partner supports 1000% in everything you do. They never hold you back from anything you want to do and nor do they judge you for it…..They simply let YOU be YOU !.

Every person on the planet has the God- given right to do exactly what they want to do and when they want to do it. If your partner complains about the way you dress or tells you not to wear makeup, then this is completely wrong. If they hold you back from doing what you love (be it career wise or stopping you from following your dreams)… then this is wrong also.

A relationship should be one long, happy, successful journey through time, where each partner loves, honours and respects each other’s wishes. You should be able to have your own individual life as well as having your life together. Respect is a two way street in a relationship and you have to give just as much as you take from that person.

Stay tuned for 1 more questions and 1 more exercise,

Much Love,

Kate x

7 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship Part 2

Here is question 2 to highlight the #Metoo campaign

Q2, Do you receive good compliments from your partner?

 

We all need to be complimented on making us feel good in a relationship. Compliments boost our self-esteem. Hearing the nice compliments gives us the self-confidence we need that enables us to conquer whatever it is we desire.

If we receive bad compliments from our partner, then it can be very shattering to our self-confidence, leaving us with very low self-esteem. It can also put us at an all-time low where we don’t feel worthy of anything. It makes us feel that we could never accomplish anything we want to do.

In many relationships where one partner has insecurities of their own, they tend to drag the other partner down to make themselves feel just that little bit better. Certain comments made to us like “isn’t it about time you lose weight” or “You can’t go out dressed like that!” leave us feeling down about ourselves. The impact of these certain comments can be shattering to our feelings.

Usually, the reason why these comments are made by your partner is due to them having maybe put on a few extra pounds in the “comfy stage” of your relationship and he’s now scared that your wearing of that tight fitted dress will bring attention from other men. So his insecurities are on show by projecting them on to you….( To hell with what he thinks!, wear that tight fitted dress. In 30 years you will be wishing back the figure you have now!.)

If you are in a relationship where your partner does tend to make bad comments to you then the exercise below will prove how many times they make them.

Exercise two:

Take a little money box or piggy bank, or even a jar, (as long as it is not a see- through one). Each time your partner makes a bad comment about you, put a penny in the money box, continue to do this each time a bad comment is made and carry it on for at least 21 days.

After the 21 days open the jar and take out the pennies you have put and count them. This will now show you how many times your partner made you feel bad about yourself in the past three weeks.

(I asked a friend of mine to conduct this exercise herself,  and after 21 days she had $1.75 in her jar,  which concludes that her partner had put her down 175 times in three weeks !.)

As hard as these things are, bringing awareness to a problem means we can make change.

Stay tuned for 5 more questions and 5 more exercises,

Much Love,

Kate xx


 

7 Questions to Ask About Your Relationship

#Metoo

I am sure by now you have had many hashtags fill your news feed for the #Metoo campaign to highlight how many people have actually experienced sexual assault and rape.

The numbers are shocking! Every other post on my Facebook highlights the #Metoo hashtag and it’s seriously disturbing to think that men and women all over the world have experienced this and that so many offenders thought it was “ok” to treat a person like that.

Abuse of authority or downright abuse, whichever the influence it comes from, is completely WRONG! We need to be educating children, teenagers, adults and old people that these things are not right and that every individual should be respected.

Over the next 7 days, I am going to focus on relationships and ask you one question every day to help you come to a conclusion of your own and to help highlight what really SHOULD be experienced in a relationship and what shouldn’t. i will also be leaving a little exercise for you to do to help become more aware of how relationships should be respected, and how you as a human being should receive the respect you deserve.

Q1, Is your boy/girlfriend making you feel good about yourself?

Everybody in every relationship should be made to feel good about themselves. If this is not the case within your own relationship, then you need to tell your partner how you are feeling. It may be that you just lack communication within your relationship and they have no idea where they are going wrong. However if you have told them and you are completely fed up of expressing this, then your partner is not taking your feelings into consideration and it’s likely they never will.
Not every person possesses the same levels of caring, sharing, love and respect as each other. This is not due to something you have done (which I know a lot of you think the blame lies within yourself and you blame yourself… constantly!).

9 times out of 10 the reason for less positive attitudes of partners is other factors. One example is the way they were raised by their parents or the influences and habits from friends and others around them. Different people have certain levels of love inside of them, and over time, we realise they are not capable of loving at the deeper level that we are. So this is where the relationship tends to break down.

Talk to your partner, and if your partner is willing to take your feedback on board and is willing to work at putting your relationship back online then at least you know your partner genuinely cares about how you feel.

Try this little exercise below which will give each of you the chance to see what the other truly thinks of each other’s good and bad points.

Exercise one;
Take a piece of A4 paper each. Draw a line down the centre of the page to make two parts to the page. Give one side of the page the title negatives and the other side of the page the title positives. Making sure you both have separate sheets of paper. Now write down on the positive side what it is you think is positive about your partner and the same with the negative side.

When each of you has finished, swap over the sheets of paper with your partner. This may be hard to swallow at first due to some negative things we never really knew about our self and have never had these things brought to our attention till now. Taking feedback on board from others and listening to what they have to say will strengthen our character and let us know where we can improve.

Stay tuned for 6 more questions and 6 more exercises,

Much Love,

Kate xx


For more information on Kate Batten click here

REAL LIFE STORY – Blindsided by Donna Davis

REAL LIFE STORY – Written by Donna Davis

He seemed so very charming. Or was it easy for me to be so distracted because my heart was recently broken in a recent break-up. Misery makes it easy for predators to ease right in. I never saw it coming.

He always had time for me. He smiled a lot and was adventurous. He seemed to know exactly what to say and when. We had fun together and things seemed great. I didn’t know he had a temper and a short fuse.

It started the night that he was teaching me how to drive. I hadn’t had the opportunity before so it seemed wonderful to have the chance to learn.  I started out doing well and then at one point drove off the curb, by accident of course, and watched him turn into a monster. He started yelling and cursing and then hit me. What?!  What’s happening?  I’m sorry it was a mistake! The car is fine. We’re fine. What’s the big deal? He later apologized and I thought it wouldn’t happen again. Unfortunately it did. Over and over again for a ten years. No rhyme or reason. Half the time I couldn’t even figure out what the trigger was. It seemed that I was living in hell.

Prior to being with him I never really knew how painful and destructive anger was. I had never experienced it. If he was angry I would get hit. If he was angry I would get punched. If he was angry I would get raped. If he was angry I would have to listen to hours of yelling and threats while I was cornered in the bathroom.  I didn’t dare question him or answer back and had no idea of how to stand up to him. Year after year it went on and on.  I would subconsciously walk on eggshells afraid of relaxing because he could “blow” at any time. We would have patches of okay existence and even some seemingly happy times and then out of nowhere I would get backhanded in the chest or punched in the head. My belief about anger became:  if someone was angry-especially a man- I was going to get hurt!  It would take me years to have this conscious awareness and several more years before I confronted the fact that this was a lie.

That experience taught me many lessons. It allowed me to see how strong I had become, even after years of feeling so weak and helpless.  I found out what forgiveness was. The surprise-and gift-of that was learning and understanding that forgiveness sets me free. It doesn’t justify what happened or excuse his role in the abuse. It allows me to move on and find peace and live life fully.

The dark memories do come to visit from time to time. I’ve learned how to deal with them.  I acknowledge that they happened and I rejoice that I’ve found a way out. It seems like so long ago now since I was able to put it all behind me.  Each day is a victory, another chance to make better choices for myself and make sure NOONE ever does those things to me again.

I sit here today listening to the Kesha song; “Praying” and smile at the thought that somewhere, somehow, perhaps he has found forgiveness for himself, and maybe has a more peaceful life. That is a wish I can send his way.

I get silent and say a prayer of thanks and ask God what to do next: I hear “Your celebration of life IS your release, IS your reward and IS your freedom.”  I dance in those thoughts with a happy heart, a smile, and a sincere hope that many who find themselves in a similar situation can one day be free as well.  There is a way out.  NEVER give up!

Thank you for reading!

Much Love

Donna xx


About Donna Davis:

As The Menopause Fairy I now help other women fine tune their lives as they discover their “A-HA MOMENTS” and discover happiness and pursue their true purpose. Over the years I have had the honor and privilege of helping women all over the world get clear on their dreams and goals while helping and supporting them as they found their balanced hormonal health and peace. Find out more at: http://themenopausefairy.com/

I Have a Plan For You!

Real Life Story Written By Jaime Evors

 

In 2008, God spoke, “You keep trying to end your life. But I am going to keep intervening because I have a plan for you” as I laid that day in a white hospital bed. Everything in my life that took place up until that point, the sorrows and the victories, swam around in my mind as I tried to make sense of the fact that God himself, had a plan for me.

Soon after that hospitalization, I knew I was to go to Oklahoma for Bible College. Without hesitation, I went. I was newer to faith, and still learning the basics of the Bible. I was excited, vulnerable and naive. I grew by great measure in my faith and in all that God did and does. While attending that college, I met a guy. After being pursued and wooed, we began to date. His family and I would talk on the phone for hours. I dreamed of this family I could have and it was enticing. I was warned by my friends and mentors of these red flags, but my own eyes could not see it. Or simply did not want to. I was slowly drawn away from God. A few months later, I was living across country in the south with his family. When we left the cold winter of Oklahoma and landed in the warmth of the south, I felt sick to my stomach. A part of me knew that I had just gotten myself in to something I wasn’t expecting. But, I wasn’t sure and waited it out. After a few weeks, Christmas came and went, and I knew that I did not want to stay. Something was off. But, I couldn’t quite figure out what exactly. As days turned in to weeks, I began to feel like a puppet. I don’t conform well to other people, so when this began, I had some resistance. They would tell me that what goes on within the family couldn’t go outside their four walls. They controlled who I talked to, what I said, and how acted. I desperately wanted to leave, but was coerced to stay several times by means of being slapped, strangled, thrown onto the ground, and even being put in a shower of cold water during a panic attack. One time in particular, the mother held a butcher knife to her wrists to show what I would cause her to do if I left. I dreaded waking up the next day, every day. I went through psychological, physical, verbal, and sexual abuse during those 8 months. I became so wounded and confused. My past wasn’t one that nurtured what is right and what is wrong, so I naturally thought that it was just me, invaluable me.

But God. I could not deny what He has so kindly spoken to me on that day in 2008. I knew this wasn’t the plan He was referring to. I knew that I needed to flee. With one final attempt, I escaped. I left on a lunch break to never return. I grabbed the few items I could hold and left to head north. As I drove with adrenaline surging, tears streaming, and thoughts racing, I had to keep convincing myself that I was doing the right thing. Everything within me shook and by the next day, I wanted to go back. I panicked. What had I just done? Everything I could have gained, was lost. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was? Maybe it’s all my fault? Maybe it can change? But I knew with my failed attempts to leave before, with my many attempts to keep peace, that things weren’t going to change. I needed to accept that fact to keep myself from returning to the abuse. I kept my shaking hands on the steering wheel and didn’t turn back. So, now what?

Life got harder. Leaving something horrific, doesn’t always mean that it’ll be easier on the other side. I had burned bridges, lost my identity, my faith was shaken, I had flashbacks, nightmares, and continually wanted to go back to them. I no longer knew who I was without them, as horrible as it was. That’s what abuse does. That’s what manipulation and coercion does. It strips us of our identity to the point where we can barely, if at all, think for ourselves. We think that it would be easier to go back, than to work through the pain.

But, I just couldn’t go back. I couldn’t.  However, with the flashbacks, nightmares, and fear that followed me daily, I stopped eating. I tried to starve the feelings and fell silent. I was crippled in fear from threats to not speak of what took place. Even though I had fled, I was still held hostage in my mind. I took sleeping pills, worked full time, and threw up what I did eat. I punished myself. I took the pain out on myself. I would go for morning runs on the country roads of Ohio, and with each sound of my feet hitting the pavement, I told myself how horrible I was, what mistakes I made, how I deserved this pain, and that I was weak. I would tear myself down so no one else could. I told myself whatever it took to in order to push through the pain of malnourishment. I was tormented, yet somehow, I tried again. I made some calls and sent some emails and found a way to get back out to Oklahoma where I had friends and medical facilities that I knew could help restore me. About six months from when I fled from the south, I made the move back out west. Within 2 days, I saw a doctor. I was told that in 2 weeks I would be dead if I didn’t have an intervention, due to Anorexia Nervosa. Part of me thought, “good.” But God’s spirit in me rose up and I knew I needed to do what it takes.

I received the feeding tube, and picked up my shield and fought harder. I felt as though I was in a desert all of this time. I had secrets know one knew of and at the same time needed to rebuild myself, my identity. It took 2 years of choosing every day to keep moving forward. To keep speaking the truth of God’s Word, to keep spending time with Him by being still or praying, and by spending time with good company. I knew He was faithful. From stories in the Bible, from other peoples lives, and even from experiences in my life. There was no question to that. I guess what I didn’t know, was how. How could I get out of this? I didn’t have a vision, I just had to blindly trust Him every day with every thing and keep doing the next right thing. During that 8 months of time down south, I had met someone and we became friends. Over a year later, after talking every day, encouraging one another, he came to live by me to help take care of me while my strength returned as I was to the point of where I was not able to work. We were best friends. Two years later, we decided to court one another and got engaged. Two months later, we were married. Being that he is the only child, after much time and prayer, we decided to move back south. To that same city, the same area where I was maltreated.

As God heals us, He gives us new perspectives. I took it as an opportunity to face the nightmare that I had been running from and trying to suppress and began to finally heal. The very time frame where satan tried to destroy me, a new life was being born out of it.

Doing that next right thing, led me to today. I am happily married to that best friend, who I think is a saint. I have 3 beautiful little children, a quaint home, and even a cat. I am a certified Life Coach and consider it an honor to work with others to take the next step. He’s not finished. God is never finished. He is all of our good qualities and more. He never left me. He helped me through one step at a time. There’s character traits and dreams that I would not have, had it not been for that healing process. I’ve learned not to discount the hard work of healing. It isn’t about getting from point A to point B. If we let that season mold us, we will come out of the fire stronger than before we went in. Our thoughts are fleeting, but His are eternal. He has a plan for you.

Only He could know the depths that phrase would follow me to and bring me out of again. Only He could know what lied ahead. At my deepest sorrow, He spoke life. Thats who He is and that’s what He does. He’s a redeemer.

God bless you,

Jaime xx


Jaime Evors. I am a wife, a mother of 3 and counting. I am certified as a Life Coach through THE AMERICAN SCHOOL OF PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING, an ICF accredited program and as well have an associates in Ministry. You can find out more about me at http://www.wavesafterwaves.org/

Self-Esteem – Written By Hayley Young

Written by Hayley Young

 

I’m not sure about you, but I used to think self-esteem and self-confidence was the same thing. Well, quite simply, they are both very different. Self-confidence is a positive feeling that you can accomplish what you wish to, the assurance that you trust your judgment, ability, and power. Self-esteem is your emotional perception of yourself and your worth.

Self-esteem often feels like an inner voice, telling you what you are… or are not worth it. Think of it like the parrot on your shoulder or the chimp in your mind, judging us and tell us we are useless, pathetic or worthless. No matter what your skills, talent or ability anyone can have poor self-esteem, and it often goes unnoticed. It can be caused by a multitude of events from failure or criticism, to a bad decision we made, our upbringing and bullying, to name a few. These life experiences stay with us, affecting our future and how we see ourselves (even years down the line). We are more vulnerable as children, and this is when a lot of our perceptions of ourselves and who we will become develop. Self-esteem varies from person to person, day to day and hour to hour. Some people may appear positive on the outside, but battle with self-doubt on the inside.

Believe that you are worth it. You deserve everything you desire.

From now on stop procrastinating, accept compliments, stand tall, and walk confidently. Cage your parrot/chimp. Remember, I said everyone is different, so stop comparing yourself to others. You are worth it, and you have a meaning.

Exercise is not only good for our physical health but mental health too! It increases energy levels and improves brain function, keeping your mind healthy. Exercise releases endorphins, which makes you feel relaxed, lowers stress levels and improves your sense of well-being.

Nutrition and diet play a huge part in well-being by having the right vitamins and nutrients for our bodies to work properly. Also, maintaining a good diet encourages positive self-worth and esteem because you are thinking of yourself and taking care of you.

Getting plenty of sleep promotes positive feelings of self-worth as well as helping to reduce depression. Creativity and innovation are increased when you get enough sleep, and your brain function improves too!

I believe that meditation can help with self-esteem. Having that ‘you’ time promotes positive feelings of self-worth and increases your belief in yourself. You will also experience relaxation, clarity, peace, love, and joy.

Thank you so much for reading,

Much Love

Hayley xx


I am 5ft 5/6ish, dark blonde hair (often dye it red), blue eyes, happy-go-lucky, easy going, always happy and up for a laugh. Love travelling. Life is to short to be miserable!! you can connect with me right here: https://www.facebook.com/hayley.young.9237