Money and Budgets: Do I have too?

Article Written By Ellen Rich, Holistic Life Coach and Founder

www.act2.expert

“The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.”

~Jacob Lew Read

 

People have different approaches to money.  Rich or poor, perception of money changes with context.  Each financial group from billionaires to the homeless evaluate groups they are not a part.

Family and culture play a huge role in how you approach money and budget.  A large family that lives together may need less money and can stretch a budget. A single person living on their own, however, may not be able to do this as well.  Money and budgets are not good or bad.  The key is determining what you have now, what resources will come into your possession, and lifestyle.

 

What’s mine?

Whomever you are living with, someone or living on your own, you need to decide how money is consolidated or kept separate from others.  Expenses are split and money allocated depending on each person’s contribution and perspective.  Bills need to be paid and a monthly budget plan put into place.

 

Debt: most of us use it.

Many people stretch their lifestyle by borrowing money (banks, friends, family, investment accounts and credit cards). * closed parentheses  added. There is always a price to pay for borrowing money.  The budget may be met, but the emotional price and financial impact depends on your particular situation.  Emotions can (fly) RUN HIGH when discussions about income, spending and debt arise.

 

Danger, danger and more danger!

If you borrow or lend money, beware that the long -term outcome may not work out as agreed.  I know of someone who lent a “friend” $1,000 and never saw it again.  Even landlords or the tax collectors may impose rules on you that you didn’t anticipate.  Think about what could happen and plan accordingly.

 

What is your money make-up?

How you view money can impact budget decisions.  Even if your current situation looks strong, spenders and savers often clash.  Situations can change (layoffs, death, illness, children, etc.).

 

Money usually creates financial “power” issues

This issue can be traced back to how much money you have and can impact issues that you never experienced.  A loss of a salary can change the entire household.  Additionally, your salary negotiations fall into this category. Applying for a loan or government financial aid also can impact you due to the loss of your power. Whoever has the money has the financial power.

Children

Children are expensive.  It is estimated by CNN.com that it costs $233,610 to raise a child to until they reach the age of 18.  And colleges are very expensive?  There are student loans, community colleges, trade schools and government subsidies.  Your choice is based on your financial commitment to your child.

Sometimes children over 18 want to continue to live with you to reduce their expenses.  You need to consider how much money you will use to support adult children.  It can help if your adult children decide to support you or can contribute financially to the household. I became a caretaker to my mother for 8 years when she was in her 80’s.  This impacted my job, working part time, salary, siblings and inheritance.

Extended Family

As your parents or elders age, their ability or desire to earn income falls.  Most seniors may want to live alone, but can’t afford it.  They may also be sickly and need help with healthcare and day-to-day activities.  Outside, home health care is very expensive.

Where will your money going to go?  Is it going to you, your household, relatives or parents?  These decisions may impact your savings and lifestyle.  The good news here is that your extended family may help you out in ways you never considered.

Solutions

Communication is the key to financial challenges. Dealing with debt is essential in understanding your ongoing plans.  Bankruptcy or wage garnishment may be just around the corner.  If married you are responsible for your partner’s debt.  Don’t shy away from pre-nuptial discussions or a contract when setting up a household with others.

Divorce is quiet common and over 50% of marriages are impacted.  Without understanding the laws in your state, province or country, this can be devastating from a financial standpoint. Go online or visit a divorce attorney to find out what you may be responsible for.  Good advice to keep you on top of your money is, “Never a borrower or a lender be.”

Why do I need a budget?

A budget is a plan that allows you to compare the amount of money you have with your expenses.  Budgets can be developed for any time period, but a monthly review is a good idea to see if you are on track.  Budgets are flexible and can be changed based on circumstances.  Budgets are critical in making big purchases.  They can help you decide whether to make a purchase or not.  With budgets you remain “in the know” of your resources so there are no surprises.

Thank you so much for reading, much love

Ellen xx


After working in the corporate world for 30+ years, Ellen started a Holistic Life Coaching program.  Called act2.expert (www.act2.expert), it is a Holistic Life Coaching Program that allows the client drive the process in a safe and comfortable environment.  Ellen has a BA, MBA, many certificates and has attended Wisdom of the Whole Coaching Academy.

3 Elements to Boost Positive Self-Esteem

by Trilby Johnson – Author and Body Energy Alchemist.

Writer for The Missing Piece Magazine

Self-Esteem is very much a question of connection. In my experience, it’s first and foremost about the connection you have with yourself. It’s how you think about yourself and feel about yourself! It’s also the manner in which you talk to and about yourself.

For many years I struggled with low self-esteem. In fact, I basically hated myself and my life was miserable because of this. I believed what others had told me about myself and it hurt. What hurt so much, was that I knew deep down inside that all of that simply wasn’t true – and yet I let myself down.

For me to get from that place of not liking or loving myself at all, to a place where I had a higher level of self-esteem, took a while and a lot of honest introspection. So in this issue, I want to share with you, 3 of the elements that I consciously chose to add to my life and which helped me to boost a higher and healthier sense of self-esteem.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

  1. Element of Self-Love

Having been someone who didn’t love myself very much, I can guarantee you that Loving Yourself is the most important thing you will even do. Not only for yourself – also for the other people in your life.

Then, it’s about how you connect to others in ways that either support or disempower your level of self-esteem. The reason is that, when you truly love yourself and allow yourself to be who you truly are – the good, the bad, the ugly and all the other bits – you are a Gift – to everybody you know and meet!  You can be confident. You can let go of the doubt, guilt and shame – all of which were probably not yours to begin with.

It took me a long time – through depression, abusive relationships and situations, suicidal tendencies and many low and dark moments – until I realized that all I really wanted, was to love myself.

So please give your permission today, if you are not yet there, to LOVE YOURSELF. It is soooo important!

Self-esteem is a by-product of loving yourself and not vice-verse. So make sure your are not missing out on this crucial boosting element.

  1. Element of Worth

I have worked with so many people, who believe that they are not enough. I know how that feels – I used to be like that. They believe that if they try harder or hard enough, if they give more, if they behave in a certain way, that finally they would be enough … and be worthy of other people’s praise, love, approval, or something else.

I have witnessed it and felt it myself – the huge sense of relief that comes with finally accepting and knowing that I am enough already. That I am worthy. And with this, the knowing that we are all worthy!!!

There is nothing to prove, despite that so many of us have been duped into believe it is something to be achieved or earned. The problems arise when we start to doubt or are led astray by other’s opinions and when we think that we have to DO something to Be Enough. We are enough . . . evident in the fact that Life itself has given us Life. We are enough!

So please, choose to know that you are worthy. This choice will add and boost your self-esteem.

  1. Element of Safety

This may surprise many people – I know it did me, when I realized that not feeling safe had a huge impact on my sense of self-esteem. Many of us are so afraid of the judgement of others. Perhaps even more so and subconsciously, we are afraid of our own judgement. I don’t know about you, but I have often been my harshest and most unforgiving critic!

I can remember the acute sense of relief I experience when I finally let go of judging myself and wanting to control everything … aahhhhh … it was amazing! I began to feel safe.

When you feel safe, you feel okay when you make mistakes. It feels safe even when you don’t always know exactly what to do, all of the time. It feels safe for you to be You – with or without other people’s approval.

When you don’t feel safe, worthy nor love yourself, these mindsets create a gravitational pull to everything ‘out there’ that matches these lower states of self-esteem. Life will serve you up the very things you fear. Life will show you perhaps adversely where you need to boost your levels of love, worthiness and feeling safe.

Safety is an inner state of being. Yes, you can live in a dangerous places – I’ve done that – and even in these situations, you can still feel safe. You can begin by claiming I love myself, I am enough and I am worthy, I am always safe! Even if at first you don’t quite believe or feel it completely. Claiming and declaring these will boost your self-esteem no end.

This does not mean there will not be days that are difficult nor that you will not have dips in your self-esteem. Simple no longer feed them and soon you will find yourself bouncing back. You will begin to enjoy the benefits of high self-esteem like feeling more confident, happier, healthier and more successful in your daily endeavours.

YOU are your most priceless and valuable commodity! Believe in yourself and your self-esteem will follow. Boost it daily with thoughts, words and feelings of  love, worth and safety that will provide you with a healthy and loving connection and web of self-esteem.

Thank you so much for reading, much love

Trilby xx


Trilby Johnson
Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist
Connect The Essence of Who You Truly Are!
Blog – https://trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com/blogconnectiveharmony

Money, Money, Money, A Currency or a Global Language?

Guest Blog Written By Emma Coker

 

It makes the world go around and it is the root of all evil!

Wow, now that’s a powerful currency and 2 powerful statements. It doesn’t grow on trees but some people do have a tree at the bottom of their garden that they go and shake!

Money does not make you happy but it does give you choices.

You can always make more money but not more time.

I could go on with all these wonderful statements I listened to growing up and I am sure you have your own set of one liners and beliefs too, thankfully, I have now come to a place where I have created my own belief statements and money, that is.

My belief is: I could travel to any country in the world, open my hand with a coin in my palm and the person standing in front of me would instantly connect with that object. The interesting thing here is, that I don’t know this person from Adam, I probably don’t speak their language, I don’t know their culture, I am unlikely to have the same skin tone or religion, I haven’t even had the chance to shake hands. Yet our unspoken communication is the coin that is in my hand. We connect via that little piece of precious metal and now we speak a common language and one that is global. Now that is powerful.

 

So where did we get our relationship with money from? I’m talking circa “My Generation” of being a 70s baby?

Our family, parents, cousins, friends?

The television, radio, newspapers, church?

School, after school clubs, teachers?

Our first bank/building society account started by friends and family for a birthday or christening? Or if you were a lucky enough as a child you may have even holidayed abroad?

So how do we educate ourselves now? I could write a list of wonderful websites but we would be here all day? Let’s just say there is a generation that has greater access than you and I born in the 1960-80S… but is that a good thing? Or am I opening another can of worms?

Luckily, I can only speak from personal experience in this area……

My first recollection of the power of money whilst growing up was around the age of 3. I was allowed once a week to dip my hands into a jar with my Auntie Eve so we could count the coins to pay the milk man. I remember thinking how big the coins were and how she was delighted to see there were always some coins left. I remember the odd smell it left on my hands and her insisting that I wash them afterwards or I would get spots on my face. I didn’t connect with the coins at all, to me they were just little pieces of metal that Auntie Eve used to buy milk. I did, however, love the counting part and the excitement of hoping we had more to count this week than last.

My next recollection of the power of money was not as positive, my parents never really spoke about money, I never had pocket money and I never seemed to need it. Everything was in perfect order in my tender years. Who needs money when you have a river at the end of the garden, a couple of dogs, lots of books, a weeble wobble plane and a fold up garage? However, suddenly money was spoken about every day. Or should I say the lack of it.

THE BALIFF -He wanted money

THE BANK – She wanted money

THE SOLICITOR – He wanted money

THE PRIVATE SCHOOL – They wanted money

The list seemed endless…well it did for Mum and Dad, alas we didn’t have any, any more.

In 24hrs the whole world changed for me and not something at aged 6 I was really prepared for.

This subject of money or the lack of it made adults grumpy, shout, cry and generally look very sad. Worse of all my fold up garage and weeble wobble plane had also gone in the boxes taken by those people who needed money. I don’t remember reading anything about money in Winnie the Pooh, “Now We Are Six” maybe he mentions it in The House at Pooh Corner?

My memories of those years are so vivid and over time I have had to correct my views on money, create a new relationship with money and learn to adapt to the feast or famine lifestyle I grew up around.

I believed for many years that I needed to spend it as quick as it came in, give it freely to others even though I needed it myself and that it would eventually bring chaos and sadness in my love life or marriage. Ta dah, it did, however secretly it was always my friend. I knew deep down I could always make more, could always find some currency to trade in and that money isn’t made of just metal or paper.

Money has its upsides, is a joy, an endless journey of pleasure but it can also teach you valuable lessons in life:

In 2013 my life decided less was more, I had pretty much given up and lost all my worldly goods, packed a suitcase and made my way back home to my Mum and now Stepfather.

Rich Dad Poor Dad is exactly what I experienced right there and then. My stepfather and Mother have an exceptional relationship with money, they value it, know it doesn’t make them happy on its own. They save, they enjoy it and they also share the gift of giving wisely.

My own Father loved money more than life, it bought him joy, friends, alcohol and kept him from being lonely. It ruled his existence and luckily for him he could also earn it and lots of it when he wanted to. I was privy to many exciting dinners, days out, shopping trips and memory bank full of watching him spend it. I don’t however recall him ever having a savings plan, we never discussed pensions, stocks, shares or saving for retirement. Maybe that’s why he didn’t live to retirement? It does cross my mind.

I now travel extensively for work, I carry at least 3 currencies at any one time in my purse and I have a draw full of money that my Father collected for me when he travelled the globe for work. Some of them are no longer valid but I love touching them all the same. When I hold the notes and coins in my hand they speak to me, they create pictures and images. I imagine what my Dad might have been doing when he had the currency in his back pocket or wallet. I have treasured currencies from Nigeria, Saudi, Peru, the Philippines and Egypt to name a few.  I can look at Canadian dollar aged 48 and I am immediately transported back 37 years to my first trip to see my grandparents in Windsor, Ontario, Canada and all the amazing sights I saw, including the boat trip under Niagara Falls. I keep a note or coin from every trip I take and I always have, I think they are equal to postcards which I also collect.

I am blessed to have seen 2 sides of the same coin but from a different geography. I am blessed to have always known money was indeed my friend. Thankfully money has been patient with me and has appreciated we haven’t always had mutual respect and love for each other.

Money is now my partner along with time, I value them both hugely and to date I am mastering them both.

Money doesn’t make the world go around but it is the unspoken language among many cultures, religions, beliefs and ages. The unspoken word that we all recognise.

So, the next time you travel try my tip, see if speaking with money does work for you, see if it communicates in a foreign language that you don’t speak, and if you can’t travel then just hold a note in your hand as you stand at the bar waiting to be served your next drink. See how quickly your unspoken communication speaks for you.

I also urge you to find your unspent notes and coins and see what memories they conjure up as you touch them or place them in your hand.

I urge you to try my Mantra: From Today I Make Mr Money My Best Friend alongside Mrs Time

Thank you for reading,

Emma xx

My name is Emma Joel Coker. Even saying that out loud, or starting this site, demonstrates where I am on my journey. Like many of us, life threw me lemons, and therefore I made lemonade, however my upbringing was somewhat extraordinary.

I’ve spent 20 years working with individuals across the globe to attract and coach talented well beings. My holistic approach enables individuals and companies to work from a mind body and spirited way in their everyday working lives.

I have a first class degree in life and a passion for excellence when it comes to seeing my clients find their wings and soar to the heights they set themselves.

However I dreamed, as a child, of becoming an author. That dream has now taken flight.

It’s a pleasure to meet you! You can find out more about me at: http://www.emmajoelcoker.com/

Shifting Your Future Relationship with Money by Mining Your Past

Guest Blog Written by Wendy L. Yost

“Come here…go away”, “don’t ever leave me”, “there’s only one way for this to work, and it’s my way”.  While it may seem that I am quoting people, I’m actually quoting aspects of a different kind of relationship, my relationship with money. If those statements had been in reference to a person, I wouldn’t have allowed that person to stay in my life for very long. And yet, I think for many of us, our relationship with money is reflected in often contradictory statements. And these statements create an undercurrent for when we make choices when it comes to how we relate to, use and appreciate money.

Rather that tell you to do this, not that — or, change how you do things entirely, I’d instead like to approach our time together the way I would one of the university classes I teach and design a curriculum on money intended to heal something, reveal something, and hopefully, with your participation, do both.

In building this curriculum, I started by thinking of assignments that have been particularly potent. And immediately thought about an assignment I’ve used in multiple classes where I have students map a facet of their life. And then thought about how I might creatively adapt the assignment to the subject of money. I found that mapping my relationship to money from birth until now brought new insights that assisted me in befriending money in new ways. What that involved was taking a sheet of paper, starting with the year I was born and then tracking how I have interacted with money through the years, as a child, a teenager, a young adult and now as grown woman, nearly five decades later.

My MONEY MAP illuminated key life events that impacted my relationship to money, such as: Receiving an allowance; comparing my sister’s proclivity for saving money, against mine for spending it; being hired for my first minimum wage job; embarking on my first entrepreneurial pursuit (becoming an Avon Lady!); saying yes to jobs I took to gain experience, even when the pay was awful; buying my first car and taking on my first mortgage; navigating job searches that took much longer than expected; asking my former husband for a necessary divorce; and more recent experiences like using social media to measure myself against the perceived success of others; and celebrating my first six figure year (and wondering how I’ll be able to do it again).

It also surfaced key shifts in my beliefs about money through the years — like when I released the need to earn all the money that I receive; when I got honest about my desire to serve fewer individual clients at greater depth; when I decided to start blessing abundance in all its forms (be it in nature, with my finances or with something like a huge bin of beach balls) or, making the conscious choice to bless forms of abundance I see other than what I would choose for myself (like deciding to imagine each time I see a Ferrari, how I would use the $188,425 to $400,000+ it takes to buy a car like that, instead of judging the driver’s choice).

Completing my MONEY MAP was definitely an eye opening experience. And also one that brought on an array of emotions: Fear, discouragement, worry, disappointment, overwhelm, frustration and impatience — as well as hopefulness, optimism, positive expectancy, triumph, freedom and even, joy. Our relationship with money is many things, and most of all, it is uniquely our own.

Creating your MONEY MAP can bring you new insights as well. As a way to get started, let’s begin with a mini version by calling to mind Ten Money Memories and writing them down. You don’t need to list a bunch of details, just a short phrase or sentence will do, like “the first time I negotiated a great salary” or “that time I found myself calculating Miles Per Gallon to assess how far I could travel by car on $2.50 of gas before my next paycheck arrived” or “when it took six months for a client to pay their invoice on income I was counting on, for work I already delivered on”. Don’t edit, just write what comes.

Once you have your Ten Money Memories, review the list and ask yourself the following questions:

 $          Which memories are mostly positive and which are mostly negative?

$          What patterns occurred across multiple Money Memories — were there any repeated             people, places or experiences mentioned that are worth noting?

Next, pick one Money Memory that you consider positive and another you consider negative and ask yourself:

$          Who was I at the time?

$          What did I most need during at that point in my life?

Finally, for the two Money Memories that you selected to take a closer look at:

$          What happened before, during and as a result of those Money Memories?

One of the things I noticed in reflecting on these questions is that my best Money Memories tended to involve creative collaborations — and most of my worst were times when I thought I had to handle a challenge or circumstance alone. That’s a powerful insight!

For a worksheet that includes all of the above prompts, bonus content and a list of Related Resources, visit www.moreisavailable.com/themissingpiece-money.

So once we start to see some of the undercurrents present in our relationship with money, what can we do about them? The first thing is give yourself credit, as in “good job, well done” for what you have accomplished. This is important. If you’re about to consider making a change for the better, giving yourself credit, by celebrating how what you’ve done with money in the past worked in some way, rewards the part of your brain that might otherwise resist the change you are wanting to make. To be clear, the credit you are giving yourself has more to do with how you are capable of making something happen, than what actually happened. And, how you can mine your experiences, even the tough ones,  to see what treasures they contain.

Ask any awarenesses of your own that surface, “what blessing is available to me now, based on how I handled that then?” And be still. Take a breath. See what comes. If you’re a writer, have a pen or keyboard handy. If you’re an artist, a canvas. A dancer, room to move. Use your natural forms of expression as a way to help you see what is wanting to be healed and/or revealed.

And, if the answer doesn’t come immediately, ask again before bed and ask that the answers come to you in the form of memorable dreams. Through my work with thousands of clients and college students, I’ve come to see that some insights, especially those with the power to transmute outdated beliefs and transform us, are often time release — parceled out as we become ready to receive them, and in ways that allow for easier integration.

Something remarkable is made possible when we are willing to take a look and see things in new ways. My hope is that the territory we covered with your Top Ten List of Money Memories is just the beginning of your forging a new relationship with money. You have something unique to offer the planet. By taking the time to explore your relationships to things like money, and release hidden beliefs or old ways of being that surface, new opportunities have space to grow and find their way to you. And you are also positioned to live in more empowered ways and be of greater service. You have the clarity needed so that as new money flows to you, you have a clearer sense of how to have it work for you, however you choose to relate to, use and appreciate it!

Much Love & Appreciation

Wendy xx

Wendy L. Yost, Owner of More is Available Coaching & Consulting
 Message Service (818) 660-MORE. PST | www.moreisavailable.com| wendy@moreisavailable.com
Bridging the spiritual and practical to help people reconfigure their lives so more of their time, energy and attention is available for what matters most.