Guest Blog Written By Emma Coker
It makes the world go around and it is the root of all evil!
Wow, now that’s a powerful currency and 2 powerful statements. It doesn’t grow on trees but some people do have a tree at the bottom of their garden that they go and shake!
Money does not make you happy but it does give you choices.
You can always make more money but not more time.
I could go on with all these wonderful statements I listened to growing up and I am sure you have your own set of one liners and beliefs too, thankfully, I have now come to a place where I have created my own belief statements and money, that is.
My belief is: I could travel to any country in the world, open my hand with a coin in my palm and the person standing in front of me would instantly connect with that object. The interesting thing here is, that I don’t know this person from Adam, I probably don’t speak their language, I don’t know their culture, I am unlikely to have the same skin tone or religion, I haven’t even had the chance to shake hands. Yet our unspoken communication is the coin that is in my hand. We connect via that little piece of precious metal and now we speak a common language and one that is global. Now that is powerful.
So where did we get our relationship with money from? I’m talking circa “My Generation” of being a 70s baby?
Our family, parents, cousins, friends?
The television, radio, newspapers, church?
School, after school clubs, teachers?
Our first bank/building society account started by friends and family for a birthday or christening? Or if you were a lucky enough as a child you may have even holidayed abroad?
So how do we educate ourselves now? I could write a list of wonderful websites but we would be here all day? Let’s just say there is a generation that has greater access than you and I born in the 1960-80S… but is that a good thing? Or am I opening another can of worms?
Luckily, I can only speak from personal experience in this area……
My first recollection of the power of money whilst growing up was around the age of 3. I was allowed once a week to dip my hands into a jar with my Auntie Eve so we could count the coins to pay the milk man. I remember thinking how big the coins were and how she was delighted to see there were always some coins left. I remember the odd smell it left on my hands and her insisting that I wash them afterwards or I would get spots on my face. I didn’t connect with the coins at all, to me they were just little pieces of metal that Auntie Eve used to buy milk. I did, however, love the counting part and the excitement of hoping we had more to count this week than last.
My next recollection of the power of money was not as positive, my parents never really spoke about money, I never had pocket money and I never seemed to need it. Everything was in perfect order in my tender years. Who needs money when you have a river at the end of the garden, a couple of dogs, lots of books, a weeble wobble plane and a fold up garage? However, suddenly money was spoken about every day. Or should I say the lack of it.
THE BALIFF -He wanted money
THE BANK – She wanted money
THE SOLICITOR – He wanted money
THE PRIVATE SCHOOL – They wanted money
The list seemed endless…well it did for Mum and Dad, alas we didn’t have any, any more.
In 24hrs the whole world changed for me and not something at aged 6 I was really prepared for.
This subject of money or the lack of it made adults grumpy, shout, cry and generally look very sad. Worse of all my fold up garage and weeble wobble plane had also gone in the boxes taken by those people who needed money. I don’t remember reading anything about money in Winnie the Pooh, “Now We Are Six” maybe he mentions it in The House at Pooh Corner?
My memories of those years are so vivid and over time I have had to correct my views on money, create a new relationship with money and learn to adapt to the feast or famine lifestyle I grew up around.
I believed for many years that I needed to spend it as quick as it came in, give it freely to others even though I needed it myself and that it would eventually bring chaos and sadness in my love life or marriage. Ta dah, it did, however secretly it was always my friend. I knew deep down I could always make more, could always find some currency to trade in and that money isn’t made of just metal or paper.
Money has its upsides, is a joy, an endless journey of pleasure but it can also teach you valuable lessons in life:
In 2013 my life decided less was more, I had pretty much given up and lost all my worldly goods, packed a suitcase and made my way back home to my Mum and now Stepfather.
Rich Dad Poor Dad is exactly what I experienced right there and then. My stepfather and Mother have an exceptional relationship with money, they value it, know it doesn’t make them happy on its own. They save, they enjoy it and they also share the gift of giving wisely.
My own Father loved money more than life, it bought him joy, friends, alcohol and kept him from being lonely. It ruled his existence and luckily for him he could also earn it and lots of it when he wanted to. I was privy to many exciting dinners, days out, shopping trips and memory bank full of watching him spend it. I don’t however recall him ever having a savings plan, we never discussed pensions, stocks, shares or saving for retirement. Maybe that’s why he didn’t live to retirement? It does cross my mind.
I now travel extensively for work, I carry at least 3 currencies at any one time in my purse and I have a draw full of money that my Father collected for me when he travelled the globe for work. Some of them are no longer valid but I love touching them all the same. When I hold the notes and coins in my hand they speak to me, they create pictures and images. I imagine what my Dad might have been doing when he had the currency in his back pocket or wallet. I have treasured currencies from Nigeria, Saudi, Peru, the Philippines and Egypt to name a few. I can look at Canadian dollar aged 48 and I am immediately transported back 37 years to my first trip to see my grandparents in Windsor, Ontario, Canada and all the amazing sights I saw, including the boat trip under Niagara Falls. I keep a note or coin from every trip I take and I always have, I think they are equal to postcards which I also collect.
I am blessed to have seen 2 sides of the same coin but from a different geography. I am blessed to have always known money was indeed my friend. Thankfully money has been patient with me and has appreciated we haven’t always had mutual respect and love for each other.
Money is now my partner along with time, I value them both hugely and to date I am mastering them both.
Money doesn’t make the world go around but it is the unspoken language among many cultures, religions, beliefs and ages. The unspoken word that we all recognise.
So, the next time you travel try my tip, see if speaking with money does work for you, see if it communicates in a foreign language that you don’t speak, and if you can’t travel then just hold a note in your hand as you stand at the bar waiting to be served your next drink. See how quickly your unspoken communication speaks for you.
I also urge you to find your unspent notes and coins and see what memories they conjure up as you touch them or place them in your hand.
I urge you to try my Mantra: From Today I Make Mr Money My Best Friend alongside Mrs Time
Thank you for reading,
My name is Emma Joel Coker. Even saying that out loud, or starting this site, demonstrates where I am on my journey. Like many of us, life threw me lemons, and therefore I made lemonade, however my upbringing was somewhat extraordinary.
I’ve spent 20 years working with individuals across the globe to attract and coach talented well beings. My holistic approach enables individuals and companies to work from a mind body and spirited way in their everyday working lives.
I have a first class degree in life and a passion for excellence when it comes to seeing my clients find their wings and soar to the heights they set themselves.
However I dreamed, as a child, of becoming an author. That dream has now taken flight.
It’s a pleasure to meet you! You can find out more about me at: http://www.emmajoelcoker.com/