Self-Esteem:- By Kim B. Smith

Self-Esteem:

A confidence and satisfaction in oneself

Self-Respect

1:  A proper respect for oneself as a human being

2:  Regard for one’s own standing or position

 

Webster’s Dictionary definition of self-esteem and self-respect.

Why do we have such a struggle with all of this?

Self-esteem and self-respect are a group of muscles; they must be worked and strengthened every day. In this article, I want to talk about how to do just that, not the reasons why we lack the confidence and satisfaction in ourselves. I will say one more thing, we all experience this and we even have insecurities as well.

The key questions here are:

How long do you stay in this environment of yourself and who do you turn too?

I talk a lot about the ‘Hag in the attic,’ that nagging voice in our heads. You know who she is! The one that keeps you small, comfortable, questioning yourself so your confidence is compromised and satisfaction is never reached. Sound familiar? Believe me, you need support and tools to keep strengthening your self-esteem.

Think about your muscles and you want to become stronger. You need to do a strength-training regime, right? The same goes for your esteem. Esteem needs spiritual training. Yes, spiritual training.

A higher belief of one’s self, call it what you want, The Universe, or God. I believe God created everything, so I speak God. We need this to release all of our lamenting to grow stronger, through chaos, joy, ups, and downs! Think bicep curls, planks, squats and lunges, crunches (all Pilates based of course). Training! Hard core training. Period.

We have twelve laws of the Universe, begin there for your routine. Read them, understand them. You also need water, a dehydrated body leads to misery and that is not the way to strengthen your muscles. Hydration is so key in so many ways.

The bottom line here is when self-doubt creeps in it is a recipe for misery, and you need someone to hand this all over to: God! We think we need other people in our lives to help us through all of this ‘stuff’ we have going on, and we do, however, they have stuff going on as well. There is only one person that can help us grieve, forgive, lament, and give it all too; and that is a higher power is God!

There was a time when I didn’t turn to God, and I felt He was too far away to even help, let alone trust. So here is how I lived:

I chased money, titles and I placed people on pedestals. That left me disappointed, empty, feeling like I was in a deep dark hole, chasing people for love, drugs, and sex. I lied to climb corporate ladders for money and titles. All because I thought this is what society expected of me, and because I didn’t have satisfaction in myself. I didn’t have a family lifting me up, they beat me down. I was on my own since high school navigating my way with little to no tools.

I quit school because it was more fun to go to Florida at spring break and party. I built a career on lies, I cheated people for money, and I did drugs because it was a powerful place to be, or so I thought. I rebelled, believing in my own false confidence. I was wrapped up in my appearance of my body image, so I took on an exercise disorder. I lived a low life because I thought this is what society, and more importantly, my parents thought I should be doing. And yes, these were my judgments, all of this was in my mind.

Anxiety crept in, and it became worse. Physically, I was getting sick. On the outside, it looked like I had it all going on, but the price to pay was my lack of spirituality, faith, self-esteem, and self-respect! I compared myself to others, and I always felt like I had work hard to chase everything down! I would say things like: “I don’t have luck, I don’t come from money, only other people know how to achieve success.” This my friends is the Hag attacking and controlling when you are low.

A few easy suggestions to break this down into simple steps:

 

R.E.A.D.! (I heard this in church.)

 

R: ready in your heart

E: engage the text

A: ask questions

D: decide to act

Read and get to know God’s words, fall in love with Him, then you will be in love with yourself. Take His words and bury them deep into your heart. Slow down to have a conversation with Him. We live in such a fast-paced, surfaced, quick-fix environment. We need to go deeper in our hearts, bury his words so deep nothing can dig them up. Ask the questions of who, what, where, why, and when? Do this daily!

This is the muscle-building regime for developing confidence and satisfaction in oneself, a proper respect for oneself as a human being, and regard for one’s own standing or position!

You now have your foundation of strengthening your self-esteem.

Peace,

Kim xx


Kim Boudreau Smith is a multi-talented CEO and business leader with a legacy of empowering thousands of women. From a corporate background in sales and marketing and over 20 years of experience in the fitness industry, Kim has gone on to become an #1 International Best-Selling Author with the book being one of the best-selling on Amazon for 2015! Kim also has become a multiple International Best-Selling Author Business Consultant and Speaker. Kim combines her expertise with a passion to motivate and inspire other women to become “top producers in their lives”. As CEO of Kim Boudreau Smith Inc. & Founder of Bold Radio Station her international speaking and consulting work has enabled thousands of women to benefit from her inspirational and empowering work. Find out more at www.kimbsmith.com

A Valuable Mindset by Trilby Johnson

Article Written By Trilby Johnson

“Mind what you are saying, especially about and to yourself.
Because you always tend to believe it.”
– Trilby Johnson

Mindset, is all about the stories we tell ourselves as well as what motives us when making the decisions and taking the actions we do. Our mindset consists of belief systems that we learn as children and that will inform much of our lives as adults. Beliefs are the mental building blocks we have that help us to make sense of the world around us and which many use to draw meaning about their lives from. Mindset is important because it fuels our attitudes and the way it which we respond to situations and other people and it helps us to form habits.

For much of our lives, we operate from these conscious and subconscious mindsets. Depending on the quality of the predominant mindset however, as we go through different life stages, situations and experiences, a specific mindset which may have been suitable and effective beforehand, no longer offers the most appropriate results and outcomes and may require reassessment and updating to something new.

Sounds straightforward for sure. Yet many people struggle with this. Firstly, because these mindsets are often operating on a subconscious level as well as being habitual and automatic behaviours and responses. And so whilst a person may really desire to change a specific belief and attitude, they may experience resistance. For instance, a person who lacks self-confidence may desire to feel more confident. And so they may choose to believe they are more confident and there may even be an improvement in their confidence levels  – like the ‘fake it till you make it’ slogan. This may work for a while. However, faking it will not be sustainable for very long and often the older more habitual mindset can pull them down. This is the reason that in my opinion and experience, positive affirmations can only take someone so far, before there needs to be another shift to the next level.

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

To experience mindset in an evergreen way, there is more to mindset than mere beliefs. They are indeed the building blocks to how we choose to function in the world. Yet humans are also sentient beings and so much of our prioritizing is based on our value system, which is the foundation of our building blocks. This aspect is often overlooked when it comes to wanting to install new belief patterns. The reason, in my experience, that there can be so much resistance is because when our values and our beliefs are not in alignment, we experience resistance and feel that we have to force or struggle in life.

Our values are a set of core principles that we use in making decision across our lives and are based on importance and need. Not to be confused with your beliefs, which are basically assumptions that we take to be true. Tension can arise when two important values come into play and create a feeling of conflict, when it comes to making important decisions. For instance, whether to stay in a job that is no longer satisfying and boring for security reasons and because that’s how it’s been there for years. Or go for a new job or lifestyle where it would be possible to express more creativity and independence, although it’s risking financial security.

In a case like this, there may be several conflicting beliefs, feelings and circumstances that need to be managed. More often than not, a person can feel pulled in different directions and this makes choosing the correct mindset and attitude challenging. Values come from the heart and beliefs come from the head. So the challenge is finding a happy medium that makes resetting our minds easier.

To do this, prioritizing and updating your values is very important because situations and options are changing all the time, as we grow and expand. Here’s an example! A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be happier and healthier and release the struggle that seem to always appear. So I sat down and did an evaluation and prioritization of my values. One of my top three priorities was ‘security’. Imagine my astonishment when I realized that happiness and health were not even in my top 10! So I had to shift my beliefs around ‘being safe’ and looking at ‘happiness and health’ in a new way. This change in priorities and values, helped me shift my thinking and establish a new mindset, that incorporated all of these values.

Here is a short exercise to help you identify your top 10 core values are:
Sit down and write down the first things that come to mind that are important to you in your life. (If you need examples of values, just google values and you can find lists to draw from.)

  1. Rank them from 1 to 10 with 1 being the most important and 10 the least.
  2. Then ask yourself if these are still valid for you?
  3. Are these values truly your own?
  4. When sorted, ask if there are any ‘new’ values that you wish to add? Add and rank them.
  5. Reflect on what has come up and also write down any of the beliefs that may have popped up. For example, health depends on genetic make-up; or if I am happy people will think I am selfish etc.
  6. If the values identified are not in your top 10, I invite you to add them in. Then sit back and watch what shows up.
  7. Repeat often.

Actively participating in setting our values, helps to prioritize and activate them in both the conscious and subconscious mind. This dynamic is what fuels a powerful and positive intention, attitude and mindset. Having a valuable mindset, requires adding value to our lives and ensuring when and how our mindset serves us best as we grow and expand.

Much Love, Trilby

p.s. Would you like a great resource of original inspiration to support shifting your thinking? My book ‘A-Ha Moments’ is available online and will support you in having your own a-ha moments.


Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She supports conscious and forward-thinking individuals to move from pain to resolution by resolving the core imbalances that destabilize and limit them, leaving them stuck in the muck of trauma and pain. When they connect the essence of who they truly are, they realize and align with their full potential and live happy, healthy and successful lives, on their own terms.

 

Website : http://www.trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com
Email: info@trilbyjohnsontheconnective.com

 

Money and Budgets: Do I have too?

Article Written By Ellen Rich, Holistic Life Coach and Founder

www.act2.expert

“The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.”

~Jacob Lew Read

 

People have different approaches to money.  Rich or poor, perception of money changes with context.  Each financial group from billionaires to the homeless evaluate groups they are not a part.

Family and culture play a huge role in how you approach money and budget.  A large family that lives together may need less money and can stretch a budget. A single person living on their own, however, may not be able to do this as well.  Money and budgets are not good or bad.  The key is determining what you have now, what resources will come into your possession, and lifestyle.

 

What’s mine?

Whomever you are living with, someone or living on your own, you need to decide how money is consolidated or kept separate from others.  Expenses are split and money allocated depending on each person’s contribution and perspective.  Bills need to be paid and a monthly budget plan put into place.

 

Debt: most of us use it.

Many people stretch their lifestyle by borrowing money (banks, friends, family, investment accounts and credit cards). * closed parentheses  added. There is always a price to pay for borrowing money.  The budget may be met, but the emotional price and financial impact depends on your particular situation.  Emotions can (fly) RUN HIGH when discussions about income, spending and debt arise.

 

Danger, danger and more danger!

If you borrow or lend money, beware that the long -term outcome may not work out as agreed.  I know of someone who lent a “friend” $1,000 and never saw it again.  Even landlords or the tax collectors may impose rules on you that you didn’t anticipate.  Think about what could happen and plan accordingly.

 

What is your money make-up?

How you view money can impact budget decisions.  Even if your current situation looks strong, spenders and savers often clash.  Situations can change (layoffs, death, illness, children, etc.).

 

Money usually creates financial “power” issues

This issue can be traced back to how much money you have and can impact issues that you never experienced.  A loss of a salary can change the entire household.  Additionally, your salary negotiations fall into this category. Applying for a loan or government financial aid also can impact you due to the loss of your power. Whoever has the money has the financial power.

Children

Children are expensive.  It is estimated by CNN.com that it costs $233,610 to raise a child to until they reach the age of 18.  And colleges are very expensive?  There are student loans, community colleges, trade schools and government subsidies.  Your choice is based on your financial commitment to your child.

Sometimes children over 18 want to continue to live with you to reduce their expenses.  You need to consider how much money you will use to support adult children.  It can help if your adult children decide to support you or can contribute financially to the household. I became a caretaker to my mother for 8 years when she was in her 80’s.  This impacted my job, working part time, salary, siblings and inheritance.

Extended Family

As your parents or elders age, their ability or desire to earn income falls.  Most seniors may want to live alone, but can’t afford it.  They may also be sickly and need help with healthcare and day-to-day activities.  Outside, home health care is very expensive.

Where will your money going to go?  Is it going to you, your household, relatives or parents?  These decisions may impact your savings and lifestyle.  The good news here is that your extended family may help you out in ways you never considered.

Solutions

Communication is the key to financial challenges. Dealing with debt is essential in understanding your ongoing plans.  Bankruptcy or wage garnishment may be just around the corner.  If married you are responsible for your partner’s debt.  Don’t shy away from pre-nuptial discussions or a contract when setting up a household with others.

Divorce is quiet common and over 50% of marriages are impacted.  Without understanding the laws in your state, province or country, this can be devastating from a financial standpoint. Go online or visit a divorce attorney to find out what you may be responsible for.  Good advice to keep you on top of your money is, “Never a borrower or a lender be.”

Why do I need a budget?

A budget is a plan that allows you to compare the amount of money you have with your expenses.  Budgets can be developed for any time period, but a monthly review is a good idea to see if you are on track.  Budgets are flexible and can be changed based on circumstances.  Budgets are critical in making big purchases.  They can help you decide whether to make a purchase or not.  With budgets you remain “in the know” of your resources so there are no surprises.

Thank you so much for reading, much love

Ellen xx


After working in the corporate world for 30+ years, Ellen started a Holistic Life Coaching program.  Called act2.expert (www.act2.expert), it is a Holistic Life Coaching Program that allows the client drive the process in a safe and comfortable environment.  Ellen has a BA, MBA, many certificates and has attended Wisdom of the Whole Coaching Academy.

Why Chasing Success Will Kill You!

Aahhhh the sweet smell of success! The constant reminders every two minutes in our Facebook feeds with sponsored ads flashing out their promises of teaching you how to make 6 figures in 6 minutes and having a freedom lifestyle.

Selling to your heart desires and triggering your emotions by using clever marketing tactics, these ads forget to mention the ball breaking hard work and daily application of what it really takes to build strong foundations in a business that will stay standing for generations to come.

They forget to mention the MASSIVE risks you have to take, the responsibility you have to shoulder along the way and how you have to completely transform your personality in order to transform your reality…..Yeah! They kinda forget to mention the REAL hard work part.

So, instead, people fall hook line and sinker into the ads and walk blindly into what’s about to come. They start implementing what is taught to them and it starts to succeed and they have a rush of success and money, and SUDDENLY out of nowhere like a thief in the night, WHAMMMMMMMM!!! … You are hit with huge blows!

Suddenly you have a tonne of responsibility, you have a payroll to your staff to pay, you have so many people looking to you to make MASSIVE decisions every day in order to keep things moving. The anxiety burns up in your chest and throat, you feel like you have to work bigger, faster, quicker, stronger, longer each week.

I mean, after all, you have a reputation and staff to keep right?…… But then suddenly! You start to feel like you are stuck on this God forsaken hamster wheel, what have you created? This isn’t living your passion! This is working stupid hours each week with tonnes of responsibility and people to lead and answer to and you are making less an hour then you worked in corporate???

Nobody mentioned this in the course I signed up for??????…. Nobody mentioned in their shiny Facebook advert that I would be freaking and pulling my hair out by the end of the year! How the f**k am I suppose to handle all this? .. (then your immune system takes a beating) and before you know it you are hit with many illnesses, sometimes one after the other or all at once. What the f**k happen on this journey? Why did nobody warn me about this? Why does it same like one thing after another is against me? …. I JUST DONT GET IT! THIS IS NOT LIVING YOUR PASSION, THIS IS SLOW DEATH TORTURE!!!!!!!

Yes, I hear you! I hear every single question you are asking, why? Because I was that person. I totally experienced the above (and a whole load more) on my journey of building my international publishing company. Within 10 months I was riding my way to 7 figures, had a full team and assistants for my every need and was working with TV personalities, award winning film directors and News readers to help publish and market their books to best seller status. I helped over 350 clients hit the best sellers list in under 3 years and had 18 best selling books of my own under my belt, along with bad health, declining passion and a human body that had turned into a robot that was running a hamster wheel and shouldering masses of responsibility that was wearing me down to zero!

Was I really doing this for others? Or was I feeding my big fat ego to feel like a somebody? To feel important and to be idolized? … Was I really seeing that my business foundations were built on chasing success rather than building a legacy?

I was so BLIND! I was chasing success and it was killing me, far from softly! It was killing me harshly every single day! .. I had NOBODY telling me in every training course I did, in every program I signed up for, in every book I would read, and every session with every coach I had, I had NOBODY teaching me the powerful grounded principles that I would need to learn in order to build strong foundations that will build a legacy of a life time. Nobody shared that with me when they were taking money from my credit card…. NONE!

It’s something I had to learn myself and it came to me one day 2 years ago and hit me like a gigantic piece of wood around the head! SLAM! … There I lay in bed with a bad infection in my lungs and unable to climb the stairs without practically coughing up a lung watching a speaker on a Youtube video, I have no idea why I was drawn to her that day, I just decided to watch this particular video and her words hit me. It was in that moment my eyeballs opened wide and I said OH MY GOSH! I had been doing it WRONG for so LONG!

She repeated the same sentence twice, and each time my hair stood up on end and my goosebumps doubled in size on my arms. This was a massive revelation! I could see for the first time in years what I had been doing wrong. Why I was knackered, ill and completely drained! Why all this stuff was happening to me, and what I had to do to put it so right.

Within 24 hours of watching that video, I made the biggest decision in the world, that was to walk away from the publishing company, let my team go and place myself and my health first. I took 5 months away from the online industry and spent that time just being a mum, wife, grandma and spirituality student. I studied daily and continued to look after myself and my health started to improve along with me gaining my strength back daily.

I woke up one morning to the vision of creating an online digital magazine, I had zero clue how to create it or make it happen and no idea how to design a magazine, let alone have a team to hand to do it. I just knew I had to create the vision that God had planted in my mind… So I did.

The Missing Piece Magazine was born on January 17th, 2017, it has saved people’s lives, help people move forward from even the toughest of situations and it has a team of 31 amazing coaches from all across the world who write and create articles on a monthly basis to help others. We have grown from strength to strength and have over 14,000 followers on social media and subscribers who love our content so much! Because it changes lives!

So what really did peel me back up off that floor when I needed it the most? What did that woman say on that YouTube video to enable me to be the tower of strength?? .. What was it?

Her words were “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.”
~ 1 Peter 5:6

BOOM! There it was! … We can chase success as much as we like, but until HE decides you’re worthy, you will be going around in circles for centuries. Until YOU really start to understand strong spiritual principles and live by them, study them and become them every single day, then you will be STILL going around in circles for centuries.

Now, before you start with the “She is a religious nut job” judgement, I spent my childhood growing up in a pagan household, made a tonne of mistakes in my 20’s and was a drug addict and self-harming by the time I was 25. After I stopped taking drugs at 25 I hit the bottle and depended on alcohol for another 10 years, which lead to 1 domestic violence relationship after another. Until I took my journey to self-discovery and faced all my demons of my past abuse in childhood and adulthood. I thought I knew quite a lot considering how far I had come on my journey of self-discovery and my success, but the truth was I knew SHIT, and I had YET MORE to learn.

The past two years have been truly an amazing growth period and I have learned what it REALLY takes to succeed in business to leave a legacy and what it really takes to equip others with the true principles of building a strong foundation in your life and business… I am living proof!

Next year (2018) myself and my business partner Kim B.Smith will start to teach these principles to people in events all across the globe and hosting a powerful retreat once a year!

I am so excited for what is to come and to finally shine a beacon of light upon all the business owners in the world, who like me once upon a time felt like they were drowning and have zero clues why?

It’s time for this to be taught, it’s time for people to build legacies and love every minute of it!

It’s great to be back from vacation after marrying my awesome partner! And thank you so much for taking time to read reading this!

God Bless, your friend for this journey,

Kate xx

Money, Money, Money, A Currency or a Global Language?

Guest Blog Written By Emma Coker

 

It makes the world go around and it is the root of all evil!

Wow, now that’s a powerful currency and 2 powerful statements. It doesn’t grow on trees but some people do have a tree at the bottom of their garden that they go and shake!

Money does not make you happy but it does give you choices.

You can always make more money but not more time.

I could go on with all these wonderful statements I listened to growing up and I am sure you have your own set of one liners and beliefs too, thankfully, I have now come to a place where I have created my own belief statements and money, that is.

My belief is: I could travel to any country in the world, open my hand with a coin in my palm and the person standing in front of me would instantly connect with that object. The interesting thing here is, that I don’t know this person from Adam, I probably don’t speak their language, I don’t know their culture, I am unlikely to have the same skin tone or religion, I haven’t even had the chance to shake hands. Yet our unspoken communication is the coin that is in my hand. We connect via that little piece of precious metal and now we speak a common language and one that is global. Now that is powerful.

 

So where did we get our relationship with money from? I’m talking circa “My Generation” of being a 70s baby?

Our family, parents, cousins, friends?

The television, radio, newspapers, church?

School, after school clubs, teachers?

Our first bank/building society account started by friends and family for a birthday or christening? Or if you were a lucky enough as a child you may have even holidayed abroad?

So how do we educate ourselves now? I could write a list of wonderful websites but we would be here all day? Let’s just say there is a generation that has greater access than you and I born in the 1960-80S… but is that a good thing? Or am I opening another can of worms?

Luckily, I can only speak from personal experience in this area……

My first recollection of the power of money whilst growing up was around the age of 3. I was allowed once a week to dip my hands into a jar with my Auntie Eve so we could count the coins to pay the milk man. I remember thinking how big the coins were and how she was delighted to see there were always some coins left. I remember the odd smell it left on my hands and her insisting that I wash them afterwards or I would get spots on my face. I didn’t connect with the coins at all, to me they were just little pieces of metal that Auntie Eve used to buy milk. I did, however, love the counting part and the excitement of hoping we had more to count this week than last.

My next recollection of the power of money was not as positive, my parents never really spoke about money, I never had pocket money and I never seemed to need it. Everything was in perfect order in my tender years. Who needs money when you have a river at the end of the garden, a couple of dogs, lots of books, a weeble wobble plane and a fold up garage? However, suddenly money was spoken about every day. Or should I say the lack of it.

THE BALIFF -He wanted money

THE BANK – She wanted money

THE SOLICITOR – He wanted money

THE PRIVATE SCHOOL – They wanted money

The list seemed endless…well it did for Mum and Dad, alas we didn’t have any, any more.

In 24hrs the whole world changed for me and not something at aged 6 I was really prepared for.

This subject of money or the lack of it made adults grumpy, shout, cry and generally look very sad. Worse of all my fold up garage and weeble wobble plane had also gone in the boxes taken by those people who needed money. I don’t remember reading anything about money in Winnie the Pooh, “Now We Are Six” maybe he mentions it in The House at Pooh Corner?

My memories of those years are so vivid and over time I have had to correct my views on money, create a new relationship with money and learn to adapt to the feast or famine lifestyle I grew up around.

I believed for many years that I needed to spend it as quick as it came in, give it freely to others even though I needed it myself and that it would eventually bring chaos and sadness in my love life or marriage. Ta dah, it did, however secretly it was always my friend. I knew deep down I could always make more, could always find some currency to trade in and that money isn’t made of just metal or paper.

Money has its upsides, is a joy, an endless journey of pleasure but it can also teach you valuable lessons in life:

In 2013 my life decided less was more, I had pretty much given up and lost all my worldly goods, packed a suitcase and made my way back home to my Mum and now Stepfather.

Rich Dad Poor Dad is exactly what I experienced right there and then. My stepfather and Mother have an exceptional relationship with money, they value it, know it doesn’t make them happy on its own. They save, they enjoy it and they also share the gift of giving wisely.

My own Father loved money more than life, it bought him joy, friends, alcohol and kept him from being lonely. It ruled his existence and luckily for him he could also earn it and lots of it when he wanted to. I was privy to many exciting dinners, days out, shopping trips and memory bank full of watching him spend it. I don’t however recall him ever having a savings plan, we never discussed pensions, stocks, shares or saving for retirement. Maybe that’s why he didn’t live to retirement? It does cross my mind.

I now travel extensively for work, I carry at least 3 currencies at any one time in my purse and I have a draw full of money that my Father collected for me when he travelled the globe for work. Some of them are no longer valid but I love touching them all the same. When I hold the notes and coins in my hand they speak to me, they create pictures and images. I imagine what my Dad might have been doing when he had the currency in his back pocket or wallet. I have treasured currencies from Nigeria, Saudi, Peru, the Philippines and Egypt to name a few.  I can look at Canadian dollar aged 48 and I am immediately transported back 37 years to my first trip to see my grandparents in Windsor, Ontario, Canada and all the amazing sights I saw, including the boat trip under Niagara Falls. I keep a note or coin from every trip I take and I always have, I think they are equal to postcards which I also collect.

I am blessed to have seen 2 sides of the same coin but from a different geography. I am blessed to have always known money was indeed my friend. Thankfully money has been patient with me and has appreciated we haven’t always had mutual respect and love for each other.

Money is now my partner along with time, I value them both hugely and to date I am mastering them both.

Money doesn’t make the world go around but it is the unspoken language among many cultures, religions, beliefs and ages. The unspoken word that we all recognise.

So, the next time you travel try my tip, see if speaking with money does work for you, see if it communicates in a foreign language that you don’t speak, and if you can’t travel then just hold a note in your hand as you stand at the bar waiting to be served your next drink. See how quickly your unspoken communication speaks for you.

I also urge you to find your unspent notes and coins and see what memories they conjure up as you touch them or place them in your hand.

I urge you to try my Mantra: From Today I Make Mr Money My Best Friend alongside Mrs Time

Thank you for reading,

Emma xx

My name is Emma Joel Coker. Even saying that out loud, or starting this site, demonstrates where I am on my journey. Like many of us, life threw me lemons, and therefore I made lemonade, however my upbringing was somewhat extraordinary.

I’ve spent 20 years working with individuals across the globe to attract and coach talented well beings. My holistic approach enables individuals and companies to work from a mind body and spirited way in their everyday working lives.

I have a first class degree in life and a passion for excellence when it comes to seeing my clients find their wings and soar to the heights they set themselves.

However I dreamed, as a child, of becoming an author. That dream has now taken flight.

It’s a pleasure to meet you! You can find out more about me at: http://www.emmajoelcoker.com/

Shifting Your Future Relationship with Money by Mining Your Past

Guest Blog Written by Wendy L. Yost

“Come here…go away”, “don’t ever leave me”, “there’s only one way for this to work, and it’s my way”.  While it may seem that I am quoting people, I’m actually quoting aspects of a different kind of relationship, my relationship with money. If those statements had been in reference to a person, I wouldn’t have allowed that person to stay in my life for very long. And yet, I think for many of us, our relationship with money is reflected in often contradictory statements. And these statements create an undercurrent for when we make choices when it comes to how we relate to, use and appreciate money.

Rather that tell you to do this, not that — or, change how you do things entirely, I’d instead like to approach our time together the way I would one of the university classes I teach and design a curriculum on money intended to heal something, reveal something, and hopefully, with your participation, do both.

In building this curriculum, I started by thinking of assignments that have been particularly potent. And immediately thought about an assignment I’ve used in multiple classes where I have students map a facet of their life. And then thought about how I might creatively adapt the assignment to the subject of money. I found that mapping my relationship to money from birth until now brought new insights that assisted me in befriending money in new ways. What that involved was taking a sheet of paper, starting with the year I was born and then tracking how I have interacted with money through the years, as a child, a teenager, a young adult and now as grown woman, nearly five decades later.

My MONEY MAP illuminated key life events that impacted my relationship to money, such as: Receiving an allowance; comparing my sister’s proclivity for saving money, against mine for spending it; being hired for my first minimum wage job; embarking on my first entrepreneurial pursuit (becoming an Avon Lady!); saying yes to jobs I took to gain experience, even when the pay was awful; buying my first car and taking on my first mortgage; navigating job searches that took much longer than expected; asking my former husband for a necessary divorce; and more recent experiences like using social media to measure myself against the perceived success of others; and celebrating my first six figure year (and wondering how I’ll be able to do it again).

It also surfaced key shifts in my beliefs about money through the years — like when I released the need to earn all the money that I receive; when I got honest about my desire to serve fewer individual clients at greater depth; when I decided to start blessing abundance in all its forms (be it in nature, with my finances or with something like a huge bin of beach balls) or, making the conscious choice to bless forms of abundance I see other than what I would choose for myself (like deciding to imagine each time I see a Ferrari, how I would use the $188,425 to $400,000+ it takes to buy a car like that, instead of judging the driver’s choice).

Completing my MONEY MAP was definitely an eye opening experience. And also one that brought on an array of emotions: Fear, discouragement, worry, disappointment, overwhelm, frustration and impatience — as well as hopefulness, optimism, positive expectancy, triumph, freedom and even, joy. Our relationship with money is many things, and most of all, it is uniquely our own.

Creating your MONEY MAP can bring you new insights as well. As a way to get started, let’s begin with a mini version by calling to mind Ten Money Memories and writing them down. You don’t need to list a bunch of details, just a short phrase or sentence will do, like “the first time I negotiated a great salary” or “that time I found myself calculating Miles Per Gallon to assess how far I could travel by car on $2.50 of gas before my next paycheck arrived” or “when it took six months for a client to pay their invoice on income I was counting on, for work I already delivered on”. Don’t edit, just write what comes.

Once you have your Ten Money Memories, review the list and ask yourself the following questions:

 $          Which memories are mostly positive and which are mostly negative?

$          What patterns occurred across multiple Money Memories — were there any repeated             people, places or experiences mentioned that are worth noting?

Next, pick one Money Memory that you consider positive and another you consider negative and ask yourself:

$          Who was I at the time?

$          What did I most need during at that point in my life?

Finally, for the two Money Memories that you selected to take a closer look at:

$          What happened before, during and as a result of those Money Memories?

One of the things I noticed in reflecting on these questions is that my best Money Memories tended to involve creative collaborations — and most of my worst were times when I thought I had to handle a challenge or circumstance alone. That’s a powerful insight!

For a worksheet that includes all of the above prompts, bonus content and a list of Related Resources, visit www.moreisavailable.com/themissingpiece-money.

So once we start to see some of the undercurrents present in our relationship with money, what can we do about them? The first thing is give yourself credit, as in “good job, well done” for what you have accomplished. This is important. If you’re about to consider making a change for the better, giving yourself credit, by celebrating how what you’ve done with money in the past worked in some way, rewards the part of your brain that might otherwise resist the change you are wanting to make. To be clear, the credit you are giving yourself has more to do with how you are capable of making something happen, than what actually happened. And, how you can mine your experiences, even the tough ones,  to see what treasures they contain.

Ask any awarenesses of your own that surface, “what blessing is available to me now, based on how I handled that then?” And be still. Take a breath. See what comes. If you’re a writer, have a pen or keyboard handy. If you’re an artist, a canvas. A dancer, room to move. Use your natural forms of expression as a way to help you see what is wanting to be healed and/or revealed.

And, if the answer doesn’t come immediately, ask again before bed and ask that the answers come to you in the form of memorable dreams. Through my work with thousands of clients and college students, I’ve come to see that some insights, especially those with the power to transmute outdated beliefs and transform us, are often time release — parceled out as we become ready to receive them, and in ways that allow for easier integration.

Something remarkable is made possible when we are willing to take a look and see things in new ways. My hope is that the territory we covered with your Top Ten List of Money Memories is just the beginning of your forging a new relationship with money. You have something unique to offer the planet. By taking the time to explore your relationships to things like money, and release hidden beliefs or old ways of being that surface, new opportunities have space to grow and find their way to you. And you are also positioned to live in more empowered ways and be of greater service. You have the clarity needed so that as new money flows to you, you have a clearer sense of how to have it work for you, however you choose to relate to, use and appreciate it!

Much Love & Appreciation

Wendy xx

Wendy L. Yost, Owner of More is Available Coaching & Consulting
 Message Service (818) 660-MORE. PST | www.moreisavailable.com| wendy@moreisavailable.com
Bridging the spiritual and practical to help people reconfigure their lives so more of their time, energy and attention is available for what matters most.

 

Are You A Gossip? Here’s Why it’s Bad For You!

It’s Time to Stop the Gossiping and Criticising:

Everyone gossips and the majority of people criticise others. As much as you would love to hear the newest piece of juiciest gossip about the girl across the road, or the PRIVATE message somebody shared with you, that you then screenshot and posted through social media to share with your followers.… it’s time to give it up!

As a coach, it really boils my blood to see this happen on the Facebook day in day out, the fact that one person came to somebody and opened their selves up wide in a PRIVATE message and the coach takes it upon their selves to then screenshot it and share it with their following to criticise and condemn the person who sent it!

Gossipping and criticising are another projection of someone’s low self-esteem and insecurities. If you’re criticising something about that person then it shows you have something that you’re not comfortable within yourself. It places on a show that you need to gain attention by pulling down somebody else. Which is far from living in integrity and completely shooting yourself in the foot as a coach who is clearly displaying their unfaithfulness with the lives that have been placed in your hands.

Nobody should trust a gossip, and nobody would want to work with a gossip in the success field. If all you can do is bitch and criticise then people will avoid you. People will work with you if you are good, honest, caring and do not judge or share PRIVATE content.

You have a private message box so that people can come to you and feel safe in a safe place and trusting you with their words of communication. For you to take that PRIVATE conversation and spread it all across social media is really you planting the seed to your own crappy experience, that will most likely hit you in the face 12 weeks from now. When we condemn somebody, we condemn ourselves 10 x times worse!

Now don’t take this from me! Take this from the natural divine laws that are written and placed into this universe to keep it orderly. I never wrote them, the powers that-be way above my head did. You reap what you sow! In everything you do!

So why do people find the need to gossip? Why do they find the need to plant such rotten seeds for themselves?

The reason why people gossip in groups is because they are petrified that any gossip will be spoken about them. Secretly they cannot help wondering what you are saying about them when they aren’t around. So if they make themselves part of the team of gossipers than they know that the gossip attention is on somebody else rather than their own lives. Could you EVEN imagine opening up your social media one morning and the PRIVATE conversation you had with one coach is then screenshot and posted on their public feed? ESPECIALLY if you are a person who has only JUST started your journey of self-discovery and you have such a MASSIVE journey to start yet?

How would you feel? How would you feel seeing your message, your beliefs and your PRIVATE words being pulled down? Pretty shit right? You would feel like that coach just crapped all over you and your trust would be gone in one second flat. You would left to feel violated and like you could never trust a coach in that niche again. It would leave a very painful mark on anybody’s trust and hurt somebodies feelings.

IT’S HURTFUL!!!

If you are a coach/mentor/teacher and you have been chosen to be faithful with the lives that are presented before you. If you cannot be faithful with them lives and feed your ego with attention grabbing ways that pull somebody down instead, then you deserve the kick in the ass that’s coming your way! Like I said previously, when we condemn somebody, we condemn ourselves 10 x times worse!

Recently I started a top 100 coaches list and will be publishing this in The Missing Piece Magazine as from August 17th, 2017.
On this list is the coaches that I have hand picked myself and have checked out and deserve to be on that list, these coaches will go through many in depth checks per year to see if they truly are living from integrity and how they interact with their followers to enable them to stay on that list.

When you start your self-discovery journey you deserve to be presented with people who CAN be faithful with your PRIVATE words and who don’t display them for their own attention. I know myself I have started clearing up my friend’s list on Facebook because I really don’t want to be associated with those who feel the need to pull others down. It’s down right crap, unfaithful and so far from integrity, it’s unreal.

You deserve the best in life, so keep your standards high!
Check out the 100 coaches list as from August in The Missing Piece Magazine! You deserve the best!

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

Much Love

Kate xx

 

Five Keys to Avoid Overwhelm By Alyssa Cruise

 

Guest Blog: Written By Alyssa Cruise.

Before I share the five keys, I want to clarify the difference between overwhelm and burnout. Overwhelm is often an in-the-moment feeling and can be triggered by stress. It leaves us feeling as though we can’t handle everything going on around us.

However, unlike overwhelm, burn out happens when we haven’t been listening to the signals our body sends, we become exhausted and before long we’ve reached burnout.

This article focuses upon overwhelm, how to avoid it and how you can kiss overwhelm goodbye for good!

 

  1. Just Say No!

Are you saying no enough?  As someone who is most probably empowered, passionate and creative you have already learnt to say yes to lots of things. In most cases this is a positive practice. Saying yes pushes us out of our comfort zones. It opens amazing new doors of opportunity and growth. However, before you reach burn out check in with yourself and ask yourself; “am I saying yes to too many things?”

You can easily begin to feel overwhelmed when you can’t manage your obligations fully. Or perhaps you’ve taken on too many responsibilities. Now’s the time to take an objective step back and see if there are areas in your life that you could ‘trim back on’ to suit you better. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help, as feeling burdened is one sure way to lead to overwhelm.

2. Start Your Day Right

When we start our day in the right frame of mind we feel more in control of our lives. Have you ever had a day you woke up late for something? Perhaps it left you feeling flustered and agitated and then you noticed how the rest of the day seemed to follow suit. Yes, we are human and those days can happen to us all. But when those days become more than a one off is when overwhelm will become a problem.

Begin your day in the most peaceful and productive way possible. The first thing I do is drink water with fresh lemon and yes, I do this before I check my phone, social media or emails! After waking we need to fuel our bodies. I also read a chapter from a book that inspires and motivates me. This offers me focus and intention for my own purpose that day.

Think about how you can start your day in the most positive and empowered way and come up with morning routines that nourish and nurture you. Maybe stretches, yoga or listening to an uplifting podcast. Having a morning ritual such as these, makes it very hard for overwhelm to find you and try to bring you down.

 

2. Don’t Hop Around

See if you recognise yourself in any of these statements.

  • I structure my workdays
  • I move methodically from one project to the next, with space between each
  • I finish one task and then move immediately to another
  • I have many tasks on the go at any one time
  • I’m restless and constantly checking social media, emails etc., while planning my day

When we create a schedule we’re less likely to face overwhelm. If we give ourselves set time between each task to reboot and reset, we’ll feel less stressed and better able to cope with the demands of our job. Unlike ‘hopping’ around with no organised plan, which can easily lead to overwhelm.

 

3. Tidy Up Time!

I remember as a young child in school we had ‘tidy up time’. This was a set amount of time for the end of the day where we would get our coats, bags, lunchbox and pens packed and ready to be taken home. Now as an adult I still remind myself to participate in this tidy up time, in a new, structured and practical way.

So, how can you implement this same philosophy into your busy day? It’s simple, take time before your day has finished to catch up on any loose ends. After all, when you get home to spend time with those you love, they should have your undivided attention. But, that’s difficult to do if you’re thinking about that last email you should have sent, or the phone call you forgot to make.

By scheduling in 30 minutes before the end of each day, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to review, evaluate and complete those tasks that just can’t wait. You’re taking control of a much better work/life balance and creating harmony between the two.

 

4. Be the Captain of Your Own Attitude

Are you ready to be the captain of your attitudes and improve the way you approach life?

Overwhelm, simply put, is when we feel we have lost control of the moment that we are in. It can leave us feeling; flustered, confused and stressed. But, what if we approached every moment from a conscious place of confidence, high energy and trust?

When unforeseen circumstances arise are you going to be the person who yells out, ‘I don’t know what to do!’ or are you going to be the person who calmly says to yourself, ‘I don’t have a plan right this second, but I know all things can be figured out and resolved’.

The decision is yours. If you make a conscious choice in every moment to stand in your own personal power, you are the calm within the storm. Decide to be the voice of reason when everyone else is in chaos.

 

Leave Overwhelm Behind for Good

Implement these strategies and;

  • learn what to say no to
  • start your day right
  • enjoy a better work/life balance
  • prioritise tasks
  • be in control your own thoughts and
  • you will very rarely feel overwhelmed again

We cannot see what the future holds, or what awaits us. But, we can breathe deeply and make a promise to ourselves that we will learn to handle everything we’re faced with. Whatever we have on our plate we can deal with….one step at a time.

Thank you so much for reading! I will see you in the next issue of The Missing Piece Magazine.

Much Love

Alyssa xx

Coach, Writer, Spiritual Life Hacks at alyssacruise.com

 

 

Selling is 80% Psychology!

When it comes to selling in your business, it really is 80% psychology and 20% mechanics that lead to building a foundation of raving followers who turn into paying clients. Gone are the days of cold-calling and knocking on doors. Human beings work through emotion and everything we do—or buy—is based on how it makes us feel.

We buy from those we know and trust. You know yourself when a service does not live up to the standards we were promised, we then feel disappointed and upset. We feel cheated after parting with our hard-earned cash to pay for those goods or services.

To sell successfully through social media takes practice, but once you have mastered the skills and have incorporated them into your life on a daily basis it becomes effortless. You then begin to construct a strong foundation of raving fans and this leads to creating amazing relationships and leadership influence within your following. This leadership influence leads you to attract people and opportunities that you would never have experienced before.

I thought if at least I give you some useful information in one place (in this blog) at hand you could not fail and by using this advice along the way you will adopt this effective communication that will help you boost your engagement and save you wasting hours on stuff that is not working!

Remember you are a business owner and you are here to do business not babysit the excuse makers who cannot see the value in what you are offering. You want to be working with those who are serious about change in their lives and business and growing yours. I am going to give you 3 great pointers in growing your social media presence and engagement:

1, Create content that triggers engagement from people:

Don’t get caught up in posting all about yourself, this journey is about how you can help others. Create content that will spark engagement, conversation and you gaining comments from your following. It’s not about creating content that they will just like or share, this about developing meaningful relationships with them so that you have a solid ground of clients and referrals from others.

2, Really start to understand what is going on in your follower’s mind!

It seems to have become the over powering norm of creating chaos in our Facebook newsfeeds with one sponsored advert after another of “Download my PDF” or “”Sign up for my free 4 part video series where I teach you how to earn 6 figures in 6 weeks” this is completely choking the heck out of a Facebook follower. People do NOT come to Facebook to buy, they come to engage socially, watch videos that interest them and connect with people around the world. Buying is not the main frame of their mind and this is why it irritates the pants off people! How do I know? That is because when I see 20+ ads on Facebook each day and I actually take the time to read the comments left under the advert because this tells you EXACTLY how your follower thinks! This will open your eyes wide to see the overwhelm that can happen in an everyday newsfeed.

3, Focus on building relationship first:

Focusing on building rleationships first will really help you build a deeper and more meaninful relationship with your clients. If you actually work from a place of humanity, love and care about the people you work with then do place relationship first! Get to know the people who follow you, have conversations in your comments thread. Ask them open ended questions in your posts so that you get to know more about them. Don’t talk about you first, ask them about themselves, what they do, if they have children, are they married? So that it starts to fetch this person to life like the human being they really are.

There is more to somebodies life then just Fascebook, and by learning and chatting to your followers more and creating content that strikes engagment first, you will build more powerful and deeper relationships. Plus, further down the road of your relationship if they do choose to purchase a service from you, then at least you can serve them better from the information you too the time to learn in the first place.

It’s time to see selling for what it really is in the online industry! If people preffer to sell to you 80% of the time rather then just ask you how your day is then maybe humanity is missing out of the equation here?

Have an awesome Tuesday and I really hope these points help you on your selling journey!

Much Love & Appreciation

Kate xx